And I wonder why beyond the natural extension of getting to know my father, there’s a desire to know more.
Ev and I have spent hours each day talking. I have a new appreciation for his brilliance. When he tried to explain how he went from being a too often backhanded, malnourished, genius kid to one of the wealthiest men in the nation, I was enthralled and captivated.
“It started because I had to get out, Linnie.” We were walking toward the paddocks. Horses were grazing around hay strategically placed around the lush green grass. I could see Monty talking with a group of men, wiping the sweat from his brow beneath a red ball cap with a white W emblazoned on it. “There was one wealthy family who lived in a nearby town. It was a damn fiefdom. If these people wanted to spit on you, you would let them. They controlled whether you worked, you ate, you had a home, clothes—anything.”
When we’d stopped some distance away, he rested his arms against the top of the split rail. “I didn’t want to rely on anyone. My pa? He worked in their factory and then expected my ma to do his every bidding for him like he was a king. He was a huge man who swung a belt with unerring accuracy. I was so grateful to have won a scholarship to Virginia Tech. It was my ticket to freedom.”
I laid my hand on top of his briefly before pulling it away. “I’m so sorry.”
He barked out a bitter laugh. “I used to be until I met Char. Then I realized I’d live through every moment all over again to knock over those damn flowers. I felt this spark the minute I laid eyes on her, but until that moment, she never saw me.”
“Have you ever told her that?”
He turned his head away from the horses he’d been studying to smile at me. “Many, many times. I could lose it all tomorrow.” He waves an arm to encompass the land and the house behind us. “But if I kept the love my family has for me at this moment, I’d be richer than I would be if Fortune told me I made the top 500 wealthiest people in the world.”
I froze and asked him, “Umm, you’re not on that list, right? I mean, I guess that’d be cool for you, but frankly, money can be a pain in the ass. At least I find it to be. That’s why I let Bris deal with mine.”
Chuckling, he slung a friendly arm over my shoulder. “I think that’s the first time I ever heard anything to that effect.”
“Don’t get me wrong. I like my creature comforts, but Bris donates a bunch.” I shook my head. “What the hell am I going to do with all of it? She keeps making more,” I tack on in disgust.
Ev tossed his head back and laughed. “You are priceless, Linnie.”
I gave him a quick wink.
Even Char and I have spent time getting to know one another. She made a trip to Gainesville this week for some extra groceries and asked me if I wanted to come along. We took her Lexus SUV—a vastly different driving experience than riding with Monty—and by the time we left Wegmans, I was indignant there wasn’t one closer to me in New York. “What complete crap,” I declared, much to Char’s amusement. “I’d love to be able to get the groceries we just got in one store. I have to get Whole Foods to deliver, go to Zabar’s, and hit a few specialty stores to get half of what’s in the trunk. You can walk in one freaking store and get everything.” I’m in awe.
“This is why I suggested we eat first. Can you imagine if we went in there hungry?”
“We’d have bought out the entire hot bar,” I said faintly. “As it was, we needed two shopping carts, Char. Two.”
Char reached over and patted my knee. “I only shop like this once every few weeks. It’s not as bad as it looks.”
Like the baby on The Exorcist, my head revolved around to her. “Every. Few. Weeks? Are you feeding the horses people food?” I demanded.
Char’s laughter exploded over the music in her car. Shaking my head, I grinned out the window as Char drove us back to the house explaining the town we were driving through, littered with townhomes and shopping centers, used to be huge farms which were sold off for housing developments closer to the nation’s capital.
But despite shared meals, the one member of this family I still don’t have a pulse on is Monty. Wandering over to the fence where my father so often stands, I lean against a post, lost in thought.
What do I know about him? He loves his family. Char explained Monty left his job because of a personal decision. He’s patriotic, loyal, and I know very intuitive about human nature. He understood the idea of him looking into me would be disturbing. But there’s something else, something I can’t put my finger on that’s floating just out of reach.
Scraping the toe of my sneaker back and forth against the blades of grass, I don’t notice anything different about my surroundings until I realize the sun’s ducked behind a cloud. Glancing up, I jump backward when I’m startled by the fact it’s not a cloud that’s blocked the sun but a man on a horse.
Monty and the beast he’s sitting astride sure know how to make an entrance. A tiny smirk touches my lips wondering if there’s a chance in hell of ever getting both man and beast up on a stage—whoever cast them would make a mint. It would undoubtedly cause a stir in audiences everywhere, that’s for sure.
“Whatever you’re thinking can’t be good,” Monty declares as he throws his leg over the saddle, slides his body down the side, and loops the reins over the horse’s neck with ease. Holding them loosely in one hand, he makes his way around the front of the dark-maned beauty.
“Why do you say that?”
“Because you and Ev have the same smile.” Again, I’m startled, since I always thought I had my mother’s smile. I take a step back to regain my balance. As if he hasn’t just rocked my world, he continues. “When you laugh, you both get dimples right here.” Monty points on his cheeks where I do have two dimples. “When you concentrate, you both make this face.” He puckers his lips until he looks like a goldfish.
An involuntary laugh breaks free. “Oh God. I don’t look like that. Do I?”
With his eyes twinkling and his lips still pursed, Monty replies, “Yes, you do.” Quirking his lips, his sexy smile causes my stomach to flutter. “So, fess up. What were you thinking about?”
“You and your horse,” I blurt out.
His brows raise a bit. “Come again?”
I begin babbling. “I was thinking you both would make one hell of an impression coming out on a Broadway stage. If you rode on out, the awe on the audience’s faces would be insane.”
I’m pretty sure Monty thinks I’m insane if the disbelief on his face is anything to go by. To cover my embarrassment, I keep talking. “I mean, you looked impressive up there. All…tough. Masculine. Not that I know anything about it. Riding, I mean. Well, I don’t know about being a man either. I’ve never been asked to play one. Though, that might be interesting…” I frown in thought. Then I shake my head. “Never mind. If I did that, it could never be a musical.” I focus back on Monty to find him more than just a little amused.
“Did you just have an entire conversation with yourself about whether or not you’d be able to play the part of a man and then rule it out because you wouldn’t be able to sing?”
“So? People talk to themselves all the time,” I defend myself.
His lips twitch, but it sets off a chain reaction. I start giggling. “It was pretty insane, wasn’t it?”
Casually, he reaches out and tucks a strand of hair off my cheek. “Just a bit. Got anything to tie back your hair?”
“Sure.”
“With you now?”
Confused, I reach for the hair tie on my wrist to show it to him. “Do you need it for your horse or something?”
That must cross some inner threshold he can’t contain. Monty grips the top rail of the fence as he howls.
Bristling, I start to turn away. Quick as a snake, he grabs my elbow over the top of the rail. “Don’t. It’s been too long since I laughed like that. And God knows, I needed it.” Rubbing the inside of my elbow, he says, “Come for a ride with me.”
I shake my head. “I can’t. Remember? I
’ve never been on a horse.”
Turning back to face me, his often far-too-serious eyes are smiling. “You can trust me not to let you fall.”
Oh, but if only I could trust myself. Wordlessly, I nod. Stepping back, I look up and down the long rails for a break in the fence to walk to enter the pasture. Monty shakes his head.
“There’s no gate on this side.” He drops the reins. Holding out a hand, he motions me closer. “Put your hands on my shoulders and step on the lower rail. I’ll lift you over.”
“Okay.” Using my lower body strength to push up, soon I’m being swung over by Monty’s strong arms. As I slide down the front of his body, my breath whooshes out of me softly, barely a puff against his chest. I don’t think he notices as he picks up the reins and then quickly guides me to the beautiful horse. Fortunately, he can’t feel what being pressed up against his body did to my heart. Otherwise, there’d be no way I could survive this ride.
Soon, Monty has helped me mount and is swinging up behind me. Clucking softly, the horse beneath me begins to walk. I let out a slight yelp, much to my horror and Monty’s amusement. “Who is our ride today, and can I pet her or him?”
“Her registered name is Crimson Seminole. I call her Hatchet.” I go from thinking what a beautiful name to rocking back against Monty with laughter. His arm tightens around my middle.
“Ha-ha-Hatchet?” And I’ll be damned if the horse’s ears don’t twitch.
Monty’s chin comes to rest on my shoulder as the three of us walk along. “She was a gift from Ev when I graduated from college.”
“I’m confused. She doesn’t look twenty.”
Monty’s chuckles. “She’s only nine. I graduated college while I was still in the Navy,” he explains.
“Oh. That makes more sense, but why do you call her Hatchet?” I twist my head slightly, only to find his face right there.
Oh.
His chiseled lips curve. “I received my degree through the online program from Florida State. Colors are crimson and gold; mascot is the Seminole.”
“That explains her name but…”
“Hatchet comes from the arm motion all FSU fans do at their games.” Monty lets go of me with one arm. As his arm goes up and down like an ax, I begin to cackle. I don’t know how I’m staying upright. When he’s done, his arm settles back around me, making me feel cocooned in safety.
Deciding there’s nothing to lose, I decide to ask what’s been on my mind. “What made you come to work for Ev?”
The quiet clop of Hatchet’s hoofs against the turf is the only sound as Monty struggles to answer me. “You don’t have to answer. I was just wondering,” I rush out.
“It’s not that. I was trying to figure out how to answer.” He doesn’t offer more, and I don’t push.
We go on for a few more minutes before he speaks. “There were a few things Ev needed assistance with. The timing coincided with an incident at work.” I feel the tremor in his body behind me. Instinctively, I do what comes naturally.
I hold on tighter.
“It started as a much-needed break,” he admits. “I officially resigned, though I did give thought about returning to my team. But soon the days turned into weeks into months. And I couldn’t bear to wear my shield again. I realized I came home,” he concludes. “As much as I miss it some days, I can’t go back.”
“Did something happen? Something that made you not want to be an agent anymore?” I ask cautiously.
“You could say that.” His voice is tight. I decide to steer the getting-to-know-you questions in a different direction.
“So, how hard was it to make the transition from the city to the farm? I have to admit, I’m having some difficulty without the lack of noise outside my window.” I can feel the vibrations from Monty’s laugh against my back.
“At first, it was like a massive power outage. Like a grid went out or something,” he agrees.
“Yes! That describes it perfectly. Like some buildings were smart enough to have power but not ours!” I twist a little only to find him smiling down at me beneath the brim of his hat with warm hazel eyes. I clear my throat and break our eye contact. “Anyway, you were saying?”
“It wasn’t completely atrocious since I used to live here and then visited often enough. What was difficult was the men looking to Ev for confirmation when I was directing their work. Here I was supposed to be relieving his stress, and they were bringing him more of it.”
“Relieving his stress? Is everything okay?” The panic in my voice is real.
“Nothing for you to be concerned with, Linnie.” There’s a stretch of silence as Monty guides us between some trees at the ridge. I didn’t realize we’d traveled so far until he turns Hatchet around and we look back at the property. Ev’s home looks like a dollhouse from the distance we’re at. We’ve stopped at the top of a crest covered in lush wildflowers. Monty keeps a firm rein on Hatchet to keep her from nibbling on more than a few of the beautiful blooms.
“How far away are we?”
“About a mile. Nothing too far.”
“It’s beautiful. I’ve never seen anything like it.” And it’s true. New York is filled with a sharp edge, but this is quietly filling a different part of me I didn’t know I had to be topped off.
“It’s home,” Monty affirms. “Maybe that’s why it was easy for me to come back to.”
And maybe that’s why I’m having such a hard time adjusting. Because as welcoming as Ev and his family have been, as generous as they are, it still doesn’t feel like home to me.
It may never be.
Thirty-Four
Montague
“No. Hire a tour bus if you need to, but none of you are driving into the district.” I sound like a parent lecturing three teenagers instead of my parents and Linnie. And by the look on all of their faces, they’re all thinking the same thing. Sticking my fork out at my mother, I tell her, “You and Ev get lost trying to drive down in DC, and Linnie shouldn’t drive for all our sakes.”
“That’s it, sell me out,” Linnie jokes as Mom and Ev turn to gape at her. “I haven’t driven since I was a kid,” she explains. “If I needed to get somewhere, I walked.”
“Or called Uber.”
Linnie tosses her hair over her shoulder. “There is nothing wrong with Uber Black.”
“No rideshare with your fellow New Yorkers?” I tease her.
“Listen, I take plenty of subways. When I’m in a car, I like my privacy,” she retorts.
I shake my head in mock sadness. “Now see? If you knew how to drive, you could see all the sights without a chauffeur.”
Linnie throws her roll at me. I catch it before forking a bit of chicken and shoving it in. “Delicious, Mom.”
She shakes her head and uses her fork to point at Linnie. “Thanking the wrong cook, son.”
My brows arch. “Wait just a second. You know how to cook? You don’t have a staff of twelve who waits on you?”
Rolling her eyes, Linnie cuts off a bite of her own grilled chicken breast atop spicy ginger noodles. “Do you? I mean Ev’s home is much larger than mine.” She shoves the small bite in her mouth and chews. Swallowing, she continues. “And aside from the people who work at the farm, I haven’t seen anyone around here to help your mom with the house, which is why I offered to cook dinner.” She blushes before turning her attention back to her meal.
“We do have people who come in, Linnie,” Ev says gently. “They’re just not live-in. We prefer our privacy that way.”
“Char let me know when I was cooking. It was a relief, that’s for sure. I had visions of her pushing a vacuum, and all I could hear was my own mother saying, ‘Darling, at my age, there are certain things a woman just doesn’t do.’” Linnie mimics her mother’s voice beautifully before her face falters. Her fork clatters to the side of her dish.
Mom reaches over and squeezes her hand. “Well, I for one am glad not to be taken for granted.”
Linnie nods rapidly.
Is this what I’m going to feel like if something happens to Ev? So broken that the mention of the good memories brings nothing but pain? Tossing back the rest of my drink, I stand to get something a little stronger. On my way back around the table, I see Linnie’s eyes are latched on the glass. Her lips are compressed together slightly. In part to divert her attention, and truly because the idea of any of them driving in the District truly scares the hell out of me, I find myself saying, “There’s no way we can do DC in one day because I refuse to get up that early.”
“Also, it’s unlikely you won’t take her by to see Shaun at the office,” Mom says brightly.
I roll my eyes as Linnie’s eyes snap up, excited instead of tragic.
“You know the NCIS office looks nothing like the show,” I warn.
“Neither is backstage at a Broadway show and people still want to visit it,” she says wryly.
“But backstage for you has Simon Houde,” Mom says dreamily.
Ev shakes his head while I remind her, “He’s young enough to be your other son!”
She waves me off. “Semantics.”
I groan. My mother has a massive crush on Linnie’s brother-in-law. “So, we have a deal?” I ask. If I’m going to DC tomorrow, I need to shore up tonight mentally.
“Wait? Are you serious? I couldn’t take you away from your work, Monty!”
I wave it off as no big deal when the reality is that it’s going to drive me to drink. Being back in the city aggravates my nightmares. But the pleasure that washes over her face makes it worth it.
“Just tell me when you want to go and I’ll be ready,” Her face is flushed with excitement.
“We’ll leave tomorrow at ten. Dress nice, but wear comfortable shoes. We’ll be doing a lot of walking.”
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