by Lucy Kevin
“It was just acting,” Meg tried.
“Don’t lie to me. You’re my daughter. I know you better than anyone.”
Once upon a time, Meg would have believed that was true. But her mother saw only the parts of her that she wanted to see, banishing everything else behind the rules of propriety.
“This is the day when you stop your nonsense once and for all,” her mother continued. “After you change out of that ridiculous dress, you will be coming home with me. It’s time you remembered what is truly important in life. Family. Duty.” She waved her hand at Meg to hurry her into action. “Get out of that and fetch your things. And be quick. I’ve left my driver waiting.”
Meg felt as though they were having an instant replay of a conversation from several weeks earlier. She had been summoned to her mother’s for tea, and when she’d casually mentioned that Lucas would be filming a video at Married in Malibu, her mother had insisted she quit her job. That day, it had taken everything in Meg to go against a lifetime of the duty her mother spoke of and say no.
Having done it before, it should have been easier now. How she wished that were the case as she forced the word from her lips. “No.”
Her mother raised a perfectly plucked eyebrow. “Excuse me?”
Though Meg hated having such a bitter confrontation, the one thing her mother had left off her list of what was truly important in life—love—drove Meg forward. “I have to finish filming the video.”
Her mother’s eyes were wide with disbelief. “After everything I’ve just said, you’re going to disobey me?”
“I gave my word that I would do this, and I’m going to follow through with it.”
“Even if it means abandoning your own mother?” Judith said it as though she were frail and fragile, rather than a force of nature backed by extreme wealth and a dozen household staff.
“I’m not abandoning you,” Meg said in as gentle a voice as she could manage. “But the truth you need to recognize is that I have a job and a life that I can’t just drop every time you call. Tomorrow afternoon, I’ll come by to help you.”
Her mother stood perfectly still for several seconds, obviously trying to process the idea that her dutiful daughter had failed to do as she wished. “If you go back in there, Margaret, and take part in that video, then you are not the daughter I thought I had raised.”
“I’m sorry you feel that way.” It took everything she had to head for the door to return to the video shoot. Not doing so would mean breaking her promise to Lucas. And she would never hurt him like that, no matter the cost to herself. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Her legs were shaking as she walked back downstairs, but thankfully she had years of poise and comportment lessons to draw on. It was going to be difficult to jump back into the video shoot after her mother’s jarring interruption. Difficult to hide her sorrow over having alienated, and possibly even losing, her mother…
And most of all, nearly impossible to hide her love for the rock star she hadn’t been able to resist from the first moment he’d made her laugh in the middle of a crowded room.
Chapter Twelve
Lucas waited anxiously by the door for Meg to return. Her mother had said so many hurtful things in public—he could only imagine how harsh she might be in private.
Meg’s face was a careful mask as she walked in. Lucas had thought he’d succeeded in pulling that mask away over the course of the week. Now, here it was again, thicker than ever.
“Are you okay? What happened? What did your mother say to you?”
Instead of answering, Meg simply shook her head.
“We don’t need to continue filming.” He reached for her hands, which were ice cold. “We can shut everything down and—”
“No.” She took a breath and held it for a moment, before saying, “I want to keep filming.”
“Meg, it’s okay. You don’t have to do this.”
At last, her shoulders went back and fire returned to her gaze. “I want to do this.”
Lucas loved how strong she was in the face of everything her mother must have thrown at her. He loved her determination, her focus on making things better for everyone around her. But he hated knowing he was responsible for her current problems.
He’d pushed her out of her comfort zone by begging her to star in his video. He’d kissed her again and again, with fierce passion that was a million miles from the actor’s screen kiss she’d thought she was signing up for when she’d agreed to do this. And then he’d made things even worse by arguing—in public—with her mother.
“Meg!” Seb called from across the room. “Are you done dealing with your family issues so that we can film?” The director had absolutely no tact, but compared to Meg’s mom, he now seemed gentle as a lamb.
“Yes, I’m ready.” This time when she spoke, her voice was clear and strong.
“Good. After that long interruption, we’re going to miss the sunset for the final scene if we film that extra take, Lucas. We’re going to have to skip that and go straight into the first dance, then the cake cutting, then the two of you driving away in the convertible.” The dance floor had already been set up, so Seb motioned for the crew and cast to quickly take their places.
“Are you sure you’re okay to do this?” Lucas had to ask again. “Just say the word and we’ll stop.”
“And throw away your whole video?” Meg shook her head. “There’s no way I’m going to let all this work go to waste. I can do this. I’m fine.”
Lucas could see that she was anything but fine, but he couldn’t insist that they stop when she was putting so much effort into completing what they’d started. She was so strong. And he’d never loved anyone more.
Thank God they were filming the first dance, because that meant he could give in to his longing to pull her into his arms.
As they danced, he drank in every sweet sensation—her body moving with his, her delicate scent, the heat of her skin against his. But whenever she seemed about to lose herself in their dance, she quickly put a small space between them, almost as though she was afraid to have too much contact with him.
“Two more scenes, people!” Seb called as soon as he was happy with their dance, ushering everyone over to the three-tiered cake. “Remember, we don’t have a backup cake, so you two have got to nail this in one take.”
Meg picked up the cake knife, then Lucas stepped behind her, wrapping his hands over hers, relishing her closeness. Together, they brought the knife down on the first layer of the cake, slicing through it easily.
He never wanted to let her go, not even enough to feed each other the ceremonial bites of cake. But this was their only take, so he couldn’t screw it up.
Too soon, Meg was surrounded by hair and makeup people to get her ready for their final scene in the convertible. Her friend Kate was there as well, to give her a fresh bouquet to throw into the sky as they were driving away.
He hoped that while they were alone in the front seat of the car, he’d have a chance to talk to her. But for this final scene, there were more crew members than ever around them, making sure the lighting and positioning of the car were exactly right so that they could nail the shot just as the sun set over the ocean.
Filming the final scene seemed to happen in a blur. They took their places in the car, Lucas turned on the ignition and started driving, then Seb yelled for Meg to throw the bouquet. They filmed the scene a half-dozen more times before the sun fell too low in the sky.
“And…cut!” Seb did a little dance in place. “That’s a wrap!”
Just that quickly, Meg was out of the car and heading in the direction of the dressing rooms. She cut through the crowd of extras smoothly, while Lucas had to dodge everyone wanting a photograph or simply to congratulate him on a great song and video. Any other time, he would have taken the time to chat with everyone and thank them for helping with his video.
But he needed to talk with Meg before it was too late.
She was at the door to the
bride’s dressing room by the time he caught up to her. “Meg, wait. I need to talk to you.”
“About what you were going to say before?” When he nodded, she held up her hand. “It’s okay. You don’t need to say anything. I understand.”
“You do?”
“Of course I do. I know this was just a video shoot, nothing more.”
“No, that wasn’t what I was going to say. Not at all.” The ferocity in his voice made her eyes widen. He moved forward and took her hands in his. “I’ve wanted to say this almost since I met you. I should have said it days ago.” She was so beautiful, so sweet, so wonderful in every way. “I love you.”
Meg stared at him in shock. “What? That’s not… You can’t…”
“I love you,” Lucas repeated. “This hasn’t been acting for me. None of it. Every time I’ve been pretending to fall in love with you for the video, the truth is that it’s been real for me. I want to be with you, Meg—and I hope you want to be with me too.”
She stared at him in silence, her eyes even wider now.
“Please say something.”
Finally, she spoke. “I… I can’t be with you. I can’t be what you need me to be.”
“You’re already everything I need you to be.”
But Meg was shaking her head and pulling her hands from his. “I’m not. You need someone who can fit into your world. Someone who doesn’t come with my mother. If we were together, she’d be attacking you every minute of the day.”
“It’s not your mother I’m in love with.”
“But she comes as part of the package. I am who I am, Lucas. I wish I could change for you, but—”
“I’m not asking you to be anyone else. I don’t want you to change. And I’m not worried about your mom. We can make this work. We already are.”
“In a video,” Meg pointed out.
“Not just in the video.” Lucas was desperate to make her see. “We’ve been a perfect fit from the very start. We make each other happier. We inspire each other. I’ve felt it every moment we’ve been together.”
“I’m sorry.” Her eyes were glassy with unshed tears. “I’ll never be able to fit into your world. Our lives are just too different.”
Lucas reached out to take her hands again, praying she’d feel their connection. “You could be a part of any world you wanted. And I will do anything it takes to fit into yours.”
He could see her reluctance to pull away. But she made herself do it anyway.
“I’m sorry.” She stepped into the dressing room.
And as the door swung shut behind her, the last glimpse Lucas had of her face was a picture of absolute heartbreak.
Chapter Thirteen
Judith Ashworth’s house had never felt particularly welcoming, but by the time Meg finally felt ready to face her mother late the next afternoon, just as the sun was beginning to set, it was positively forbidding. Even Bertrand, the butler who answered the door, barely made eye contact. All he said was, “Mrs. Ashworth is waiting for you in the conservatory.”
Normally, Meg’s journey through the house was like walking through a museum. Now, it felt like a trip to the executioner’s block.
The conservatory had a view that was the best money could buy. Papers and designs relating to the charity dinner surrounded her mother like props meant to remind Meg of the responsibilities she’d ignored.
“There you are, Margaret.” Her mother didn’t hide her victorious tone. “Come sit, there is a lot of work to be done.”
Meg stopped in her tracks. “Aren’t we going to discuss what happened yesterday?”
“We have far too much work to do.”
She had expected her mother to demand an apology, at the very least. But that wasn’t the way their family did things, was it?
Don’t talk about anything.
Take your victories where you can.
Pretend that everything is fine and hide even the largest problems with a fine layer of civility.
On autopilot, Meg sat and began to go through the arrangements for the dinner, shifting the seating plan and adjusting the calligraphy on the menu, while her mother chattered about who was in and out of favor this week.
“…of course, Ellen insisted the funding should go through her badly run foundation…”
“…if rumors can be believed, James and his new bride are off to Bolivia for their honeymoon. Bolivia! I can’t imagine what they must be thinking to forgo the wonders of Europe…”
“…couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw Candice wearing last year’s off-the-rack…”
Meg had always told herself that she couldn’t fault her mother for her gossip when she concentrated so much of her energy on charitable works. Today, however, she couldn’t get herself to believe it.
“Mother—”
“Don’t interrupt, Margaret.”
“Are we really not going to talk about what happened yesterday?” She waited until she was sure that she had her mother’s full attention. “Are you really going to sit here and talk about a bunch of random people rather than try to work through our differences?”
“What is there to talk about? Obviously, you’re here because you have finally come to your senses and put your silly dalliance with that rock star behind you.”
“I’m here because I promised I would help you with these plans, not because of any dalliance,” Meg corrected her.
“It’s hardly enough, though, is it? This business with the musician—” Her mother’s mouth puckered as though she’d been sucking on a lemon. “—is a symptom, rather than the disease itself.”
“A symptom?” Meg said. “Is that how you see me? As diseased?”
“Well, there’s certainly something wrong with you. You would never have spoken to me like this a few months ago.”
“That’s true,” Meg said slowly. She would never have dared to talk back to her before she started working at Married in Malibu. Probably because working alongside her supportive friends had shown her that she could do something worthwhile. Something more than simply following her mother’s instructions.
And Lucas…
Lucas had shown her so much more than that. His deeply heartfelt I love you was playing inside her head when her mother spoke again.
“As I was saying, you’ve gone too far. That scene yesterday was simply the pinnacle of it all. I thought that if I gave you some time, you would work through this phase and realize what is truly important. But it seems that you aren’t going to come out of it without my guidance.”
Guidance? That’s what her mother called delivering an ultimatum in the middle of Meg’s workplace—and then deliberately ignoring the deep fractures in their relationship?
“After everything you’ve done, I’m dying to hear what additional guidance you could possibly have for me.” Though Meg had said no to her mother a few times recently, she hadn’t ever had the courage to get this angry with her, let alone express it. But now she couldn’t seem to stop herself.
“Watch your tone with me, Margaret. I am still your mother!”
That was what it always came back to, wasn’t it? Relying on family to force Meg to do what she wanted. Using family as an excuse for treating Meg as badly she wanted to. Her mother didn’t have to be kind, or respect Meg’s own dreams and desires, because they were family.
But it wasn’t the whole family that came first. It was Judith Ashworth—with Meg a long, long way down the list.
“It is obvious where your sudden rebellion has come from. Well, that stops now.”
“Excuse me?” Meg could sound just as imperious as her mother. After all, she’d learned from the very best. Besides, how many times did her mother expect them to go around and around on this subject? Until Meg finally broke down and acquiesced?
“I should think my meaning is clear enough. It’s long past time to quit this job of yours and forget all of this nonsense completely. I’m your mother and I know what’s best for you.”
“I’ve spent m
y life believing that,” Meg said in a low voice, “but I’ve finally realized that the only person you want the best for is you.”
“I’m simply looking out for your well-being,” her mother insisted.
“I’d like to believe that—” And the truth was that she really did. “But I honestly don’t think you know how.”
Shock flashed across her mother’s features, swiftly followed by fury. “Do you have any idea how embarrassed you will be when that video comes out and people start gossiping about you?”
“The only person who is going to feel embarrassed is you. I certainly won’t, because I have nothing whatsoever to feel embarrassed about. I’m proud of what I do. I’m proud of my job. I’m proud that I help give people the weddings they’ve always dreamed of. And I have every intention of continuing to do just that.”
“I would think very carefully about your next actions, Margaret. Because if you don’t give up this silliness at once, there simply won’t be a place for you here anymore.”
This was where Meg would have folded before, the line in the sand she’d always been terrified to cross.
But this time, the wave of panic didn’t come. Okay, so maybe the panic wasn’t completely gone, but it was a smaller wave, at least. A ripple. Because this time, Meg knew that she had plenty of lifelines outside of her mother. She had friends.
And maybe even a man to love who loved her right back.
“Obviously,” she said in a voice that surprised her by its steadiness, “you think I’m the one who should be afraid if we don’t see one another. But I’ve finally realized that you’re the one who needs me. I think…” It was important to stay strong, no matter how difficult this was to say. “I think we should take a break from one another for a while.”
“A break?” Her mother looked utterly shocked. “You can’t take a break from your own mother.”
“Actually,” Meg said in a soft but firm voice, “I can. I’m going to give you some time to decide whether you’re willing to love me for who I am…or if you can only love the person you want me to be.”
