Simon felt like Zuko was being ridiculous, but he decided to change the subject to avoid any further embarrassment. “I’m pretty sure his heart is with someone else, unfortunately. But anyway, I’m on my way to see him tonight. I told him that I’ve finished the story and he said that he wants to read it immediately. I better get going. He’s waiting at the office.”
Zuko smiled knowingly, and Simon could read his mind. Everyone was an expert on his love life. He hugged his friend warmly and said goodbye before heading over to the office to see Ian.
Chapter 19
Ian was waiting for Simon as he walked into the office, sitting idly on his office chair. He seemed to be deep in thought as he rested his chin on his palm. He was getting some color back into his cheeks, but his smile was still weary and he was definitely not the same Ian that he had always been. The weight of the past few months seemed to be getting to him.
“Hey Ian. How are you?” Simon said, trying to sound as distant as he could.
“Hey tiger. Good to see you. I’m right as rain, thanks. How was your meeting with Zuko? And when can I see the article?”
“Woah, hold your horses there. I have it with me.” Simon took the pages out of his satchel and sat down across from Ian at his desk. The dark lines under his eyes were clearly noticeable. Simon regretted all of these games that he was forced to play with Ian, pulling away just when they got closer. And there Ian was, still calling him by his pet name, so eager to see him, sending him texts constantly. He wanted nothing more than to be close to Ian. But Margeaux’s face flashed in his mind, her cruel words causing him a renewed jab of embarrassment in his chest.
“Excellent. I can’t wait to dig in. I just want to tell you before I get started that… it’s been good working on this story with you. It’s been good having something to focus on. To keep my mind off of my injury and all of these silly thoughts. You’ve been a good friend to me, Simon. And if I did something to offend you, you really can tell me. I’ve noticed that you’ve been pulling away from me lately, and I know it must be for a good reason, but I just can’t think of it. If you tell me, I’ll change it. I just thought I’d say something because this distance is definitely… not fun for me. It sucks, in fact.”
Ian’s sincerity caught Simon completely off guard. He looked straight into Ian’s deep brown eyes, seeing those handsome features that had stolen his heart calling out to him for some kind of explanation. But what could Simon tell him? How could he tell him how deep his feelings really were? Surely, Margeaux was right, and Ian would run for the hills at the very suggestion.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Ian. I think things are perfectly fine between us.” Simon couldn’t look Ian in the eye while saying this. He didn’t see the hurt expression on Ian’s face.
“Okay. I… If you’re sure there’s nothing wrong. Then I guess we’ll just focus on the story. It was silly of me to get so deep; sorry about that. I’m probably just projecting all of my issues onto you. I’ve become a neurotic mess these past few weeks. Not even Margeaux wants to spend time with me anymore, and she was all over me in the start.”
Simon continued to avert his eyes, waiting for the moment to pass. Ian finally responded, “Anyway, let me get to the story right now. I’m excited to read it. The front page of next week’s edition, I’m sure!” He began reading the story, and Simon went to make some coffee. He waited for Ian to read the story, feeling suddenly very nervous. Despite everything, Ian’s opinion was still extremely important to Simon, and he wanted to impress him with the story that they had worked so hard together to realize. The minutes passed slowly, with only the hum of Ian’s computer and the office clock providing any sound in the room. Finally, Ian reached the last line of the article and looked up at Simon. He put his hand on Simon’s shoulder again, as he had done so often when he was praising him, and said, “Excellent job, Northbrook. You’ve done it. We need to get this on the front page of next week’s edition. I’ll get to the edits immediately.”
Simon began to feel a sense of apprehension then. It was finally coming to the moment of truth, and they would all have to face the consequences of the story. He had second thoughts about publishing it immediately. “Thanks Ian. But not next week yet. I want to run through a few more facts and see if I can get any more interviews. Let’s put it off just a little bit longer so that I can make sure it’s really perfect.”
“It’s not going to get any more perfect than it is right now. I mean, after my edits, of course. But it’s exactly the story we need to tell right now. Are you sure you won’t be ready to publish by this week’s edition?”
Simon considered it for a bit. He knew that the story was ready, but he was unsure of whether or not he was ready to publish it. Of course, exams were not too far away so he needed to publish it soon. And Zuko deserved to have this story told as soon as possible. “Tell you what, give me one more week. Let’s put it in next week’s edition. I’ll definitely have it ready by then.”
Ian hesitated, but eventually nodded, “Okay Simon. But don’t sit on it too long. You’ve done good work here. Don’t let the opportunity escape you.”
Ian and Simon sat working through the article then, Ian offering some useful edits. Simon relished the time they could spend together, and seeing Ian being in control, taking on the role of editor again, comforted him. There were glimmers of the old, confident Ian, who didn’t let anything bring him down, whose smile could instantly inspire confidence in Simon. But they had both been through so much and their relationship was no longer the same.
Simon looked at the clock hanging from the wall. It was almost 1 in the morning. They had been working for hours, and it had felt like mere minutes. “Wow, looks like we’re really burning the midnight oil here,” Simon said. “It’s fun doing a real investigative piece like this. And, of course, it’s great having an editor who I can bounce ideas off of.”
“Well, I’m having a great time too, tiger,” Ian said with a wink.
Simon indulged in the moment, for once just forgetting all of his worries. “I don’t want it to end,” he said, and despite his desire to kick himself, he went with it.
Ian seemed taken aback by the comment. “Well, tiger, there are many more stories we can do together.”
“No, that’s not what I mean. I mean, I don’t want to stop spending time with you like this. I don’t want us to be distant. I was lying before when I said that I didn’t think that we were drifting apart. There are some things going on with me. But you shouldn’t be the one to suffer for it. I know I’ve been hot and cold with you. I’m sorry. I really do value you as a friend.”
“Wow, Simon, I don’t know what to say. Listen, let’s put all of that behind us and just make a promise that we won’t let anything drive us apart. I don’t want to go that long without seeing you again. I don’t even know if you remember this, but I said something to you on that day when we hosted the rally for Harry Baleka. I said that I need to keep you close because I can always trust you to have my back. I hope that’s still true. It might have sounded like nothing at the time, but there was a lot more behind that comment than you know. In fact, I had wanted to say it to you for a while. But when it finally came out, it sounded stupid. I hope we won’t drift apart again. I hope we can remember what’s really important. And that’s being there for each other.”
The conversation had turned much more intimate very quickly. Maybe it was just the tiredness and the sense of accomplishment of finishing the story, Simon thought, but he felt like they were both saying things they had wanted to say for a long time.
“We’d better get some shut eye,” Simon finally said. “I have a big week ahead of me if I’m going to be on the front page of the Ridgemont Weekly with a headlining feature.” He smiled and walked over to Ian. “I’m glad we had this talk. Really glad.”
“Me too,” Ian said, and he stood up from his seat and gave Simon a hug. His big arms were firm around Simon’s slight frame. It felt comforting a
nd safe to be embraced by Ian like that. He remembered the moments they had shared, how Ian had called him to sit by him on the floor when he was drunk after the staff party, how he had given Ian a kiss on the cheek when he was distraught after his accident. A real intimacy had developed between them, and the hug, in the office together at 1 a.m., felt like an acknowledgement of their closeness. Simon couldn’t let his head get in the way anymore. He couldn’t let himself be pushed away from Ian because of his fears. He resolved, in his tired, euphoric haze, to do better.
“Oh,” Ian said, “I don’t know if Olivia told you that she invited me to her engagement dinner. I guess I’ll be seeing you there.”
Simon almost rolled his eyes. Of course Olivia would not stop trying to push the two of them together every chance she got. But he was grateful that he would be able to share more time with Ian, especially when they had worked so hard to finish the story about Cornelius. “Great, I’m looking forward to seeing you then, boss,” Simon said. “I mean, tiger.” He tried the pet name for Ian, but he immediately realized he was making a fool of himself.
Ian laughed, “Hey, that’s my name for you! You need to find your own!”
“Ha! I guess I’ll have to think about it.” The color was definitely coming back into Ian’s face, and his eyes seemed more alive. Simon felt optimistic for the first time in a long while. Maybe things would work out. But first, he had to concentrate on getting the story published.
Chapter 20
The engagement dinner was held at Cafe Del Sol, the Italian restaurant that Olivia loved. She had invited Zuko as well, and he and Simon were catching up over cocktails. The atmosphere was warm and the setting was classy. Olivia was wearing a black evening dress, a strange sight for Simon because she was usually so casual. She looked radiant as she hung on Justin’s arm and rested her head on his shoulder. Justin really made her happy.
But Simon felt more and more like an outsider. He and Olivia had once spent most of their days together, completely inseparable. Olivia had even refused to move in with Justin on multiple occasions when he asked her because she said that she wasn’t ready to stop living with Simon. Maybe they were too close back then, but it made this new phase of their relationship all the more difficult for Simon. Olivia was spending many nights a week at Justin’s place, and they were making plans for the wedding to take place in the following year. Simon didn’t know what the future held, but he knew that he would miss his friend. “Everyone has to grow up at some point, I guess,” he said to Zuko as he explained how he was feeling. “I’m glad that she’s happy, and I know we’ll always be really close friends. There just comes a point where you find that person that you want to settle down with. Olivia’s found that with Justin, and I know that they’ll have an amazing life together.”
“They do make a beautiful couple, don’t they?” Zuko said. Simon looked at them again, chatting with other friends. Justin was tall and he had finally been persuaded to trim his mop of hair. He looked distinctly like a grownup in his shirt and tie. He would be a good husband for Simon’s best friend.
Olivia’s mother, already drunk and threatening to cry from happiness, clanged her fork against her wine glass. “I want to make a speech. To my beautiful daughter: I couldn’t be more proud of you. And to Justin: you are just so, so special to me.” She began to sway dangerously and rubbed her already-smeared makeup. “I’d better sit down, but I just want to say again how happy I am. Okay then.”
Simon and Zuko struggled to stifle their laughter. Suddenly Simon noticed an arresting figure entering the restaurant: Ian. Simon had to catch his breath for a second. Ian looked incredible. He was wearing a dark blue shirt, with the top button undone, his hair styled perfectly and the color back in his face. He was walking without any noticeable limp. It felt like the room became quiet as he walked in, and Simon briefly caught Olivia’s eyes as she gave him a knowing wink. She got up to greet Ian and pointed over to Simon at the far end of the table. Ian walked over, holding his broad shoulders back and carrying himself with grace and authority. His square jaw broke into the smile that melted Simon’s heart as he approached him. “Hey there, tiger. Olivia says my seat is over here next to you?”
Zuko couldn’t contain himself, and broke out into girlish giggles. “Nice to see you again, Ian. You’re looking very spiffy tonight.”
“Thanks, you too Zuko.”
Zuko and Ian spoke about the story that would be published soon, and as they spoke Simon considered Olivia’s decision to invite Ian. Olivia was always looking out for Simon. She always tried to make sure that he was okay, even when he tried to push her away. He was nothing but grateful that she had invited Ian to the party.
Ian seemed to be his regular old self again. He seemed much more alive than he had been over the past few weeks, and Simon was happy for it. Ian lifted his arm and rested it on the back of Simon’s chair, sparking a rush of blood to Simon’s face. Zuko’s eyes darted from Ian’s arm to Simon’s eyes, and he tried again to stifle a smile. Simon was in ecstasy.
Olivia’s father got up then, after finally getting his wife to stop overwhelming Justin with questions and stories. He said that he wanted to say a prayer for Olivia and Justin, and asked everyone to stand up and close their eyes. As they stood up, Ian took hold of Simon’s hand and held it throughout the long prayer. After a few minutes, Ian’s fingers started caressing Simon’s, and when Simon opened his eyes to glance over at Ian’s face, he was looking at him with a piercing, warm expression. Ian gave only a faint smile, and his face said so much even though they just stood there silently listening to the prayer. Simon clutched Ian’s hand tightly and smiled back. He wanted to do so much more then.
After the prayer, Simon released Ian’s hand and did not say anything to him, but walked towards the exit. His emotions were overwhelming. He was elated but frightened. He told Olivia that he had to go but he would talk to her soon, and he ran out of the restaurant. He felt like he was struggling to catch his breath and his heart was racing when he entered the cold air outside. What was happening to him? He felt like he was having a panic attack, like his whole body was about to explode.
He heard the restaurant door open behind him, and he turned around to see Ian rushing over to him. “What’s going on, Simon? Why did you rush out?” Instead of looking angry, as Simon expected, Ian only looked deeply concerned.
“I couldn’t breathe. I just needed to get outside for a bit.”
“Simon, is it because of what I did in there? Because I took your hand?”
Simon stood in silence. His heart was still racing. In fact it felt even more furious than before.
“Is something going on between you and Margeaux?” Simon asked.
Ian moved closer to Simon, “She was coming on to me very heavily. To be honest, I considered it. For a long time. But it wasn’t real. Listen Simon, there is someone I want to be with, but it’s not Margeaux. I think you know that already.”
Simon felt faint. He remembered all of the threats that Margeaux had made, all of the time he had spent pining over Ian. And now this moment was here. He panicked, and before he could put any thought into it, he was running away from Ian. His feet were moving without being willed; instinct had taken over. He was breathless, but he ran through it. He was so preoccupied that he didn’t realize that Ian was running after him.
Chapter 21
Simon found himself panting in front of the offices of the Weekly. His feet were sore and his chest aching from running so fast. He couldn’t believe how he had reacted, but something had come over him. He had never felt that scared in his life before. He had never felt so out of control. Ian had a way of completely disarming him and making him act like a two year old. And he had just run out of Olivia’s party. He would have to apologize to her when he got the chance. Embarrassment flushed over him, and he sat down at his desk.
His phone started ringing then and he pulled it out of his pocket. He didn’t want to talk to Ian or Olivia right now, but the numbe
r on his screen was one he didn’t recognize. He decided to answer, and heard an unfamiliar voice on the other end of the line.
“Simon Northbrook?” the heavy voice with the thick Afrikaans accent said to him.
“Yes. Who is this?” Simon was still struggling to catch his breath, and he felt sweat on his forehead.
“You are the one asking all the questions about me for the Ridgemont Weekly?”
Simon’s eyes widened and he froze in terror. It was Dawid Cornelius himself. Simon had been trying to get him to agree to an interview, but after the threatening meeting with his father it seemed highly unlikely that he would want to talk to Simon. But here he was, on the phone.
“Listen here,” Cornelius said, sounding increasingly threatening, “everyone who you spoke to in my res is being taken care of. They will be taking back their statements soon. And you will stop this nonsense if you know what’s good for you. And if you know what’s good for your friend, the ladyboy. Believe me, what we did last time was merely an appetizer for what he’ll get if this story ever sees the light of day.”
The phone was put down in Simon’s ear then, and he sat there shell shocked. Cornelius had threatened him. This would be perfect to include in the story as well, and then to speak to the newspaper’s lawyer about, of course. But despite these rational thoughts Simon was still chilled by the threats of Dawid Cornelius. He could understand why Zuko was intimidated enough to leave campus after being harassed and abused by such a strong presence. Simon felt scared for his safety until the story was published, but he knew that once it was out there, there was little Cornelius could do. It sounded like Cornelius and his team were ready to take more drastic actions to make sure that the story did not come out.
Simon got up from his chair, ready to go home and sleep off the confusion of the day. But he was not expecting to see Ian standing at the doorway, breathing heavily, still looking impossibly handsome as he walked into the room.
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