“Daddy, why are you crying?” Olivia flanks my side, tugging on my pants.
I blink away the evidence and pick up the only thing that’s been right in my life. “Nothing’s wrong, baby girl. I got everything I need right here.”
“Me and Mommy?”
A smile ghosts my lips as those dark, brown eyes stare up at me. My gaze strays back to Liv before answering. “Yes. You and Mommy. Just how it will always be.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Lexie
Current Day
The truth is a hard pill to swallow.
The balmy breeze sweeps across the front porch stoop, swirling the mid-afternoon air around me. It was the right call to pull my hair into a high ponytail. Not only does the hairstyle keep me from looking like Cousin Itt from The Addams Family, but I can keep a level of dignity without batting loose strands of hair from my face. I need every shred of confidence as I stand in front of the open door and lock gazes with a hollowed-looking Garret. His tousled brown locks match his wrinkled T-shirt—messy and uncharacteristic.
What the hell is going on with him?
“Hey,” I say.
“Hey.” His dejected tone clinches my heart. All the fight I bottled inside deflates like an old used tire. The problem being, I’m not sure I have the energy to keep refilling it.
I shift my weight to the other foot and try not to let the distant look in his expression get to me. I need to stand my ground if I’m going to get through this. “When’s your next class?”
“I’m free until four. Today’s weight conditioning.”
“Let’s talk at the beach.” Where we’re on neutral ground. I pivot and step toward the parking lot. I don’t give Garret time to answer. He’ll follow.
I’m halfway down the sidewalk when he trots up beside me. “I’ll drive, Blondie.”
“Fine. I’ll let you.” I know when to pick my arguments. Getting in a pissing contest over who’ll drive isn’t one of them. There will be more significant hurdles to jump over, I’m afraid.
Soft music fills the cabin as we maneuver through traffic. Other than the purr of Garret’s engine, it’s the only sound worth noting. The entire speech I had prepared won’t work. I had expected to see laidback and carefree Garret. Laidback and carefree Garret, I could be accusatory with and yell at until I demand answers. But sad and dejected Garret, I didn’t know how to handle. Something, or someone, is obviously bothering him. I just wish he’d open up and allow me in.
Neither one of us speaks until we’ve walked to a secluded section of the beach. The ocean stares back at us in all its majesty. I wrap my arms around myself as I stand looking out at the water. “The best part of living in California is escaping to the beach. I’m not sure I ever want to live too far away from the ocean.”
Garret’s angular jaw sets tight as he eyes the waves crashing to the shore. “I hear you.”
A beat passes. When it becomes apparent Garret isn’t going to initiate the conversation, I fill my lungs with a deep breath of encouragement. I slowly release the negative energy racing through my veins. “Look, I’m going to be frank with you. I don’t know what’s going on, but there’s something you aren’t telling me. Maybe it’s none of my business. I don’t know. But why did you lie to me about going out of town?”
He hangs his head down, genuine regret lacing his features. “I figured your mom would tell you she saw me.”
“I don’t understand why you’d lie about that. If you didn’t want to work at the house, you could’ve just told me.”
“It’s not about the house.”
“Is it about Jillian?” I ask when he doesn’t supply any more information. His Adam’s apple slides up and down as he stews on his response. And as much as I hate it, I have the answer to my question. “Have you slept with her?”
His mouth clamps tight, and I suck in a hard breath at the lift of his chin. Holy shit. I don’t know how to process that information. My fuck buddy slept with my dad’s girlfriend. Isn’t that special?
“Oh, God.” I think I’m going to be sick.
He turns to me, eyes glossy. “I’m so sorry, Lexie. Trust me, if I could take that night back, I would.”
His admission causes me to pause. I study him. Really study him. The way his shoulders droop, the way he hangs his head in shame, and that damn haunted expression coating his eyes paints a daunting picture I don’t understand. “I can’t fault you for who you slept with in the past. I’m not exactly a virgin, but…”
“The last thing you expected was your father’s fling to end up being my one-night stand?” he guesses when my voice trails off. For some reason, knowing Jillian was nothing more than a one-night stand makes me feel better. Although, the way she eyed him, I’m sure she’d like to dip her toes back in the water. I don’t like that visual. Not at all.
“That’s definitely going to make things awkward, but I doubt they stay together, anyway. His relationships never seem to last.”
Garret blows out a slow, steady breath and drags his gaze back to the ocean. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking over the weekend.”
I clamp my mouth shut and brace myself for the rejection I know is coming. And even though I could’ve predicted this a mile away, it still hurts. He’s shoving me away, but I don’t understand why.
“We shouldn’t continue this arrangement we have.”
“Why?”
“The one thing I was afraid of is using you. I can’t let that happen. You mean too much to me to end up hurting you in the end.”
But you’re hurting me now.
“It’s not as if I didn’t know what I was getting into. I can handle it.” That’s a lie. I’m in too deep.
“I can’t!” He twists to look at me. There’s a fire raging in his eyes. One I’ve never seen before. At this moment, he towers over me. His posture threatening. A warning I should heed. But then, his muscles collapse as if he let go of whatever emotional baggage was holding him captive. He grabs the side of my face and dips his head to rest on my forehead. “We’re friends. I like you a lot. God, Lexie, you don’t know how badly I want things to be different, but I don’t have any more pieces of me to give. I’m spent.”
“What does that even mean?”
“It means I can’t be here for you. It means I’m holding you back because nothing will ever become of us. Nothing. Don’t you get it? I can’t thoroughly commit, and you deserve so much better than me.”
“That’s total bullshit, Garret.” Anger grabs hold as tears prick my eyes. He’s actually going to end this between us. I place my hands on his chest and push away, but his strong arms wrap around me and pull me closer to him.
“I’m not who you think I am. I’m not the good guy here. Trust me. You’re better off without me.”
“It’s a good thing we’re not actually dating then, isn’t it?” The words may be accurate, but my heart doesn’t distinguish the difference. This pain is every bit the equivalent of a breakup.
“I told you when we first started this arrangement it wouldn’t end well.” His voice holds so much hurt, his touch so much longing. They toy with my heart and confuse my brain.
“What aren’t you telling me?” My words are barely a whisper but clearly heard. His muscles stiffen beneath my touch. He shuts down. The battle lost. If being friends is what he wants, then remaining friends is what he’ll get. I’m through with the back and forth. The hot and cold.
“Fine. Keep your secrets bottled inside you.” I push away, and this time he lets me go. “But I can be mature about this. We started as friends, and we’ll remain friends. But for my sanity, let’s take a break from each other. Our project doesn’t need much work. I meet with the new company on Thursday. If there’s anything we need to change, I’ll let you know. Otherwise, let’s keep our communication limited to class time.”
Garret nods but doesn’t look happy. I don’t know what more he expects. I can only give so much.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
&
nbsp; Lexie
Current Day
Garret: Fun Fact. I miss you.
Lying in bed, I stare at my cell phone. More importantly, my morning text. It’s the first one Garret has sent since the shitty dinner with my dad. I want to curse at the way my heart leaped at the words. He misses me. I miss him, too. Although, not in the same text as him. We are two months into the second semester, and we’re still as distant as the day we unofficially broke up. I guess he was right after all.
Sex changes everything.
I roll out of bed and meander into the kitchen. I need to get moving if I’m going to make it to class on time.
“Good morning, sunshine.” Mom’s greeting leaves a lot to be desired.
“Morning.”
“There’s an envelope for you on the counter. You may want to open it.”
My head whips to where the standard sized envelope lies. Shit. Small-sized isn’t good. Please don’t let this be from Cessna U. I race over to the counter and pick it up. My heart plummets when I see Cessna University’s emblem. I let out a grunt.
“What does it say?”
I rip the envelope open and read. “Dear Ms. Lexie Jenkins, We regret to inform you…”
I crinkle the paper up and toss it in the trash.
Mom sighs. “I’m sorry, honey. They don’t know good talent.”
“Thanks, Mom. I still have others to wait on.” Not that I can afford the other programs. Living at home has saved me so much on student loans, but I was hoping to milk it for a while longer. All the other schools I’ve applied to will bring me away from the West Coast. A fact I’m not too thrilled with.
“Yeah, or you could still win the scholarship.”
“Our interviews are coming up, so maybe. I need to get ready.”
“Okay, honey. I’m sorry things didn’t work out.”
“Story of my life.”
Chatter from fellow students mixed with the hissing sound of frothing milk is music to my ears as Cara and I enter Captain’s Cup. Between Cara’s crazy internship and my schedule, this is the first time we have been able to meet all semester. I miss my best girlfriend. I won’t allow my mind to go where it wants to go.
“That’s total bullshit you didn’t get accepted at your own university.”
“Yeah, well, the way my luck has been going lately, I’m not surprised.”
“I can’t believe it’s been this long since we could sit down and talk. Did you have a good break?” Cara asks.
“It was fine. Uneventful.” It was horrible. I sat around home most of the time and moped. “Did you have a good visit with your mom?”
“Yes, things have gotten so much better between us. Mom adores Braxton. He could only visit a few days because of practice, but it was nice when he was there. I love showing him around my city.”
We place our standard blueberry tea and mocha order. I swear, the barista doesn’t need to ask when we show up. She just smiles and asks, “The usual?”
We grab our drinks and snag the retro turquoise couch by the window.
“Are you getting excited about the dick contest?”
I almost choke on my sip. “God, Cara. Let a girl swallow first.”
“I’m sure that’d go over well.” She flashes me an all-white grin. One that screams innocence, but I know better.
“I’m sure it would. But yes, I’m excited to find out if our hard work paid off.”
“I’m glad the new company decided to uphold the original contract.”
“Me too. I just don’t know if we’ll win. A few other projects seem equally as good.” My meeting with the new owners went well. The buyout should be finalized soon, but the new owners have agreed to honor the scholarships.
“What would you do if you win?”
“The money will help pay off my student loans, that’s a no-brainer. But the job offer I’d consider. After getting the rejection letter, I’m not sure I want to go on to grad school. I’m getting a little burned out with schoolwork. Honestly, making a paycheck doesn’t sound too bad about now.”
“Tell me about it. I have so many years ahead of me. But I still think it’s crap that you have to compete against Garret.”
“I know. Garret hasn’t expressed too much about the scholarship. He’d rather work than go to grad school, so I’m sure he’s hoping to win.” But that wouldn’t be fair to me considering I’ve done most of the grunt work. He refuses to have any dealings with Fernandez and Sons. The bulk of the communication came from me anyway, but if they lean toward him instead, I don’t know how I’ll feel.
“How’s Shannon doing, anyway? I haven’t talked to her for a while.”
Cara shrugs. “Fine, I guess. The environment at jock row still isn’t good. There’s so much awkwardness in that house.”
“That’s such a shame. What actually happened?”
“I’m not even sure. Noah’s tightlipped when it comes to his reasonings. And Shannon told me some bullshit excuse about needing to focus and not causing a bigger rift between him and Braxton. But none of it makes sense.”
“It doesn’t. When Noah looks at her, you can see how much he loves her.”
“Yep, sort of like someone else I know.” Cara quirks an eyebrow, giving me her “I know, but I’m not going to say it” look.
I’m suddenly tired of the half-truths and unspoken words. But mostly, I’m tired of hiding everything from her. I miss my friend’s advice.
“If I tell you something, do you promise not to yell at me?”
She cocks her head to the side. “Go on.”
“So, Garret and I had an arrangement.”
Her jaw drops open, but she quickly composes herself. She places her cup of tea on the table in front of us and straightens in her seat. “Okay, back up. Like a friends-with-benefits type of thing?”
I press my lips together and nod. I’m not embarrassed. I rather enjoyed the one time we punched in the card, but I feel so damn bad keeping this from Cara. Having it bottled up inside of me with no one to tell has been the worst part. These are the types of things you discuss with your best friend.
“Whoa.” She puffs out a breath. “How long has this been going on?”
“About a week after Garret’s birthday party.”
“You been having sex with Garret practically all last semester, and you’re just now telling me?”
“Say it a little louder for the group in the back.”
Her face falls, and she genuinely looks hurt.
“I’m sorry I didn’t say anything, but everything was new and he’s so damn secretive. Then, with everything going on between Shannon and Noah, I just…”
“You’ve just been going through this all by yourself,” she guesses.
“Yeah. But we only punched in the FWB card once and now”—I blink rapidly to stave off the tears forming. The last thing I want to do is cry in a coffee shop located on campus—“we stopped the arrangement before going on break. I lied to you earlier. My break was horrible.”
“Oh, honey. What happened?”
I proceed to tell her the ugly details of Garret sleeping with my soon to be stepmom. Did I mention that part? No? Well, my dad popped the question to the woman at Christmas time. A little cliché, but she must not have minded because she said yes. Lovely. I’m going to be six months older than my stepmom. Who doesn’t want that?
“That is the saddest story I’ve ever heard.”
“I’m sure worse heartbreak stories exist.”
“But they aren’t yours.”
No. No, they’re not. “It doesn’t matter. After that dinner, he became distant and wanted to end things. You know for a non-break up, it sure felt real.”
“That’s because it was real. Garret looks at you the same way Noah looks at Shannon.”
My gaze meets hers. “Sometimes, that’s not enough.”
“What do you think is bothering him? Surely, he isn’t hung up on Jillian.”
“I don’t know, but I think it goes way deeper t
han some random hookup.” The only piece of the information I held back was his niece, Olivia. For some reason, I don’t think he wants people to know about her. He’s very private about his personal life. The least I can do is respect his privacy.
“Still, there has to be some underlying cause or reason why he wouldn’t want people privy to his private life. What giant secret could he be hiding?”
I stare at Cara as if she just unlocked the secrets to the universe. Oh, my God. How did I not see this sooner? Olivia isn’t his niece. Olivia is his daughter. She has to be. Everything he has said makes sense now.
“What?” Cara asks.
I shake my head, my mouth gaping like a fish. “I-I-I think I figured out something. But it’s not my place to say.”
“Oh, come on. You can’t leave me hanging.”
“I’m sorry, but I can’t say. And I may be wrong.” But I may be right. Holy shit.
Garret has a kid.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Garret
Current Day
Lexie: Fun Fact. I slayed my interview. Good luck ;)
Sweat pools around my balls and ass crack. Place me on a field during the hottest hour of the day, and I’ll perform like a well-oiled machine. Dress me in a suit and set me in front of the guy who has done nothing but threaten me, and I officially come down with swass—a sweaty ass.
The width of the glass conference table separates Mr. Fernandez and me, but he may as well be seated right next to me. I can feel the tension radiate off him in spades. The moment Fernandez & Sons bought out our sponsors, I knew my chances of landing this job were over. Not only would he not hire me, but there wasn’t any way I could work for this man. He may not reside directly over me, but Mr. Fernandez is the CEO and owner. Whatever the man wants, the man gets. Men with that kind of power know how to use it. And trust me, Mr. Fernandez will pull all punches to screw me over.
Full Count (Cessna U Wildcats Book 3) Page 15
