“Yeah.” Boomer hit the turn signal, looked both ways, twice, then turned left onto Hamilton.
“Why didn’t you tell me Carrie lost the baby? I didn’t know she was pregnant. It seems my ignorance isn’t a good enough reason to keep me out of the hot seat and they’re both holding the results against me.”
“Not my story to tell. Hell, I wish I didn’t know.” Boomer grew sullen. “Besides, what good would it have done to tell you? Then have you worried about Carrie instead of keeping your sorry ass safe.”
“At least you get it.” He shouldn’t have asked, putting his buddy on the spot. “I’m in a no-win situation. You know that, right?”
“Looks that way to me.”
Jake rubbed his temple. A tension headache coming on. “Might as well cut my losses and move on.”
Boomer hit the brake a bit too hard at the stop sign. “You can’t be serious.”
The immediate halt of the vehicle forced Jake to fling forward, straining against the seat belt. “There’s nothing here for me. It’s past time for me to find a way to support myself.”
“Give it ‘til the first of the year. You’ve barely had time to deal with the big picture.”
“I’m open to ideas, but frankly there’s not much call for crippled soldiers in the public sector. It would have been a different story if I still had my leg, but that rules out the Police and Sheriff’s Department.”
“What did you plan to do when you got out?” Boomer kept his eyes on the road.
“Hadn’t let myself think that far. Just tried to keep my head down, do my time, and hope to make it home in one piece.”
“Too bad that didn’t happen. Have you ever given a thought about coaching? Or maybe working with the VA? They might help you figure something out. I mean, what good are your VA benefits if you don’t use them?” Boomer turned right on Pershing, then into the Hopeful High School parking lot.
Leave it to Boomer to keep it real. In fact, that’s exactly what he needed. The only place pity was acceptable to him, was in the dictionary. Mulling over his friend’s question, he realized it was time to do just that. Get real. What he hadn’t told Boomer is he’d already set up an appointment with a psychologist who specialized in soldiers returning home, often referred to as inability to adjust to civilian life.
“Maybe.” Jake couldn’t think that far. Without a trade school certificate or a degree, he was in for a long road, if he chose to pursue either idea.
They parked in the lot, got out, and made their way to the gym for a game of pick-up b-ball with the guys.
As Jake entered the gym, he was immediately transported back in time by the smell of the gym.
How many games had his team won right here?
The squeals of sneakers as players raced down the court.
The thunk, thunk, thunk of the ball dribbling down the court, against the polished wood floor.
The rustle in the stands, and the cheers and jeers of chatter from students in the bleachers.
It was all too much to handle. He took a seat on the first row, watching the guys work their way up and down the court he hollered a few insults while his brain worked in the background. The cold weather was wreaking havoc on his leg, so actually playing wasn’t an option this time. He alternated from getting caught up with memories from his past and trying to decide if there was a future left for him in Hopeful.
The guys played, didn’t keep score, but worked up a sweat for the next hour and a half.
Back in school, he’d had it all. A great athlete, reasonably intelligent, and a will to become someone he could be proud of. He was going places. His first stop was the military, with the added plan to do his time then come out ready to apply for the police force. He and Carrie would marry somewhere along the way. A house, a couple of kids, maybe even a dog to join the menagerie at some point.
He planned for all that and more.
He still couldn’t believe Carrie blamed herself for his injuries just because she made a wish at that stupid wishing well. He’d never taken her for a superstitious person. She had never shown signs of it in the past.
Why now?
Jake was pulled from his silent reflections by the sound of a phone ringing, dancing on the bleacher seat next to him, playing Eric Clapton’s Wonderful Tonight. “Boomer, your phone’s going off.” He picked up the phone and waved it in his friend’s direction.
Boomer came trotting over, sweat drenched and panting. “Hello.”
Jake knew instantly something was wrong.
Boomer dropped to the seat beside him. “On my way.” He leaned on his knees, head down, and muttered a curse. “Can you get a ride home?”
“Erica? The babies?”
Boomer nodded. “The babies are in distress. The EMT said it’s urgent. I’m headed to the hospital.”
“Don’t worry about me. Go to your wife.” Jake couldn’t imagine the pain Boomer was feeling, but he could certainly sympathize and empathize.
Boomer raced off.
The guys kept playing, minus one.
Jake didn’t know what to do. He wanted to call Carrie, but he wasn’t sure how she’d handle it. Tough. He was following his heart. He dialed her number.
She answered breathlessly. “Hello.”
“It’s me. Jake.” He waited for it to sink in. “Boomer is on the way to the hospital. Erica and the babies—”
“No! It’s too early.”
“I know. We were at the high school when she called. I told him to go, but now I’m stuck here. Would you come get me and take me to the hospital? I feel like I need to be there for them.”
“I’m on my way. See you in ten.” She clicked off.
Jake waited for her in front of the gym, focusing on how Carrie must have suffered just like this. All alone. No one beside her, though he was sure Erica hadn’t been far away. It was the fact that she’d gone through something so traumatic without him that ate him up the most.
As much as he hated to admit it, he now understood why Carrie held him at bay after he came home. This wasn’t something you got over. On the contrary, he was indirectly impacted by the trouble with Erica and Boomer’s babies. Not that it was his fault, but still, they were his friends, had been for as long as he could remember.
Carrie rolled to a stop.
He folded himself into her car.
Together they raced to the hospital. Each silent.
Jake was a prisoner of his biggest fear. Was he responsible for the situation with Erica and the twins, as well as Carrie losing their baby?
Chapter Seven
Carrie clutched Erica’s hand, biting back tears, trying to be strong for her best friend.
Boomer was on the other side of the bed, Erica’s hand appeared tiny protectively tucked into his massive hands.
In the center of the hospital bed, Erica lay as pale as the sheets that covered her. She blinked. Swallowed. “What are our options?”
“It’s called intrauterine growth restriction,” the doctor announced. “It means the babies aren’t growing well. Both babies have placenta and umbilical cord blood flow issues. They’re smaller than they should be as a result. However, our main concern is that you’ve developed preeclampsia.”
“What do we do now?” Boomer asked.
“It’s not as simple as that,” the doctor said, before he continued. “Your platelets are dropping. We need to take the babies, now!”
“It’s too soon,” Erica said pulling her hand away from Carrie, and cupped her belly possessively as if the action could insulate her babies.
Carrie’s hand went to her throat. She blinked rapidly and bit her lip.
Jake rose from the chair by the wall and came to stand beside Carrie.
Carrie reached for him, turning her head into his side, leaning on him because her legs began to shake.
“I’m here,” he whispered, his lips skimmed the top of her head.
She nodded, taking in the doctors plans to do an immediate C-section.
“The babies are twenty-eight weeks and four days. We have a neonatal team on stand-by.”
“Will they—will they sur—” Boomer’s deep voice dropped into a whisper. He swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbed as he struggled to hold it together.
Watching her friend’s pain made Carrie feel as if her own heart was being ripped out, too.
Erica’s shoulders sagged. Her lips quivered. She glanced at her husband then bit her bottom lip. She reached for her husband, cupping his head to her shoulder.
Boomer curled his arms around his wife.
Her shoulders shook as she cried.
The doctor suggested Carrie and Jake leave to give the parents a chance to talk.
They rushed Erica into surgery, Boomer at her side.
Carrie and Jake made their way to the delivery waiting room.
Jake squeezed her hand. “I need some air. I’ll be back shortly.”
As Carrie stepped into the room, she took notice of a man in his mid-thirties, seated on one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs, seemingly relaxed and reading the newspaper.
A second, younger man paced the room, hands shoved deep in his pockets, jingling the contents.
Searching for a chair away from both men, Carrie looked up when a nurse came into the room. “Mr. Bennington?” she announced. The older of the two gentlemen, casually folded the newspaper, set it on the table, and stood. “Yes.”
The younger man looked on expectantly.
The older man took his sweet time making his way to the nurse, as if this was an everyday experience.
“Congratulations.”
“Thanks. Is my wife okay?” the man said, blandly.
The nurse stiffened, crossing her arms in a haughtily reaction. “Don’t you want to know about the baby?”
“I already know.” He held up four fingers. “Another boy.”
“Well, for your information, it’s a girl. Six pounds, twelve ounces, and eighteen inches long,” the nurse declared.
The man’s mouth dropped open. His eyes went wide. “You’re kidding. Really?” He then picked up the nurse and whirled her around, hooting loudly, before he set her back on the floor.
Carrie couldn’t help but laugh out loud.
“If you’ll come this way, I’ll take you to meet your daughter.”
The man was beside himself, happy, ecstatic even, as he followed the nurse. “But the ultrasound said it was a boy.” He clapped his hands as he rounded the corner to the nursery.
Carrie couldn’t decipher her own emotions. She was happy for the man, especially his surprised reaction to having a daughter.
Erica on the other hand…wasn’t as lucky. The babies weren’t due until just before Christmas. Twelve weeks early. She tried to think positive, sending prayers and love to the family, but the doctor’s mention of preeclampsia and the fact that the babies weren’t growing well, sent fear deep into her core. She couldn’t bear the idea that something was wrong with Erica or the babies.
“Any news?” Jake asked, when he came to stand beside her.
“No.”
Jake paced.
Twice, the other soon-to-be father bumped into Jake. The second time, Jake would have fallen if he hadn’t clamped his arms on the other man’s shoulders.
An hour passed.
The nurse returned. “Mr. Lowell?”
The man stumbled rushing to get out of his seat. “Yes.”
“Your wife is out of surgery. You have a little boy. Seven pounds, two ounces.”
The man looked dumbfounded. He mechanically followed the nurse out of the room.
Carrie couldn’t take it any longer. She made her way to the labor and delivery nurse’s station and asked. “Is there any update on Mrs. Jenkins?”
The nurse checked the board first and shook her head, before placing a call to the surgical station.
In Carrie’s perfect world, she wouldn’t be here, in this part of the hospital, for another three months.
Erica had asked her to be her coach, refusing to leave that job solely to James. He was a wonderful husband, but when she was in pain or sick, he wasn’t worth beans. The man hovered as if she were some delicate piece of crystal.
Carrie was secretly jealous of the way James worshipped Erica. Naturally, she agreed, jumping at the chance to be with her bestie, when they brought the babies into the world. That wouldn’t happen now. Instead, they were coming into the world early. Way too early not to have issues. And what about Erica? Carrie had heard about mothers and their babies dying from preeclampsia, even in this day of modern medicine.
Erica had helped her through the worst time of her life, after she lost Jake’s baby.
Carrie had every intention to reciprocate, even more so now. She closed her eyes and bowed her head, striking a bargain with God, begging that Erica not suffer the same fate…going home empty handed.
Carrie grabbed the counter, suddenly dizzy. She realized with shocking clarity that the reason she’d been so excited about being pregnant was that in some part of the recesses of her mind, the baby would be the tie to fixing things between her and Jake. But when she lost the baby, it felt as if she’d lost any possibility of getting Jake back or having the life she envisioned for herself. She’d put so much emphasis on the baby that until now, she’d failed to realize that she’d turned the baby into a prop to getting Jake back.
How had she not seen it?
A thousand thoughts collided, sending her into a spiral. So many questions popped into her head at once, that she didn’t know what to do next. Her once tightly controlled world was now obliterating before her very eyes.
Out of nowhere, the phrase she’d used on Jake, wanting only inner peace floated in her mind. Through the weight of her sadness, she struggled to admit she had no idea what inner peace was.
For one thing, she owed Jake an apology. She’d been distant, blaming him for their break-up, when originally, she agreed that it wasn’t right for him to suffer any unnecessary conflict due to issues or emotions at home.
The nurse hung-up. “She’s in recovery. I’m sure someone will be out to talk to you soon.”
Carrie felt a wash of emotion weighing her down. She’d been so hurt by their break-up that she hadn’t been able to let it go. Jake had been back for four months now, and it was all her fault that the gap between them was further apart than ever before.
All it would have taken was for her to open her arms to him. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t been ready to try again, but no, she’d held him at bay. Why? Because she hadn’t been able to cope with the truth.
Which was…
They had been too young for such a big a commitment back then.
She’d accepted his word because even then she knew Jake needed total focus if he wanted to stay alive and come home.
And what had she done?
She’d acted like an immature child, taking his logical decision as blatant rejection of her affections.
When he returned, she’d wanted Jake to make some sort of grand gesture, declaring his love for her. When it hadn’t happened, it was all the proof she needed to let him slide further and further from her grasp.
What a silly fool she’d been.
Carrie now had a choice to make. She could either let the past stay in the past, then set out to do everything in her power to win Jake back or she’d have to let him go for good.
Her heart stopped for a second, then another, at the thought of not having Jake in her life.
It was time to act, before it was too late.
By the time she returned to the delivery waiting room, primed and ready to admit to Jake how foolish she’d been, all thoughts disappeared when she arrived to find Jake with his arms around Boomer.
His shoulders shook as he buried his head against Jake, who had tears of his own, streaming down his cheeks.
The visible image of the two men, closer than brothers, and once considered an invincible force to be reckoned with on the football field, were now
reduced to emotional wrecks. The scene took her the wind out of her, robbing her of a voice.
“James?” Carrie said, weakly, frozen in place. “Erica? The babies?” Unable to form complete sentences.
James wiped his eyes on the sleeve of his sleeve. “I almost lost her.”
Carrie couldn’t breathe. “And the babies?” She was afraid of the answer.
Jake turned away, wiping his eyes.
“The babies are so tiny and fragile.” James sniffed. “Avery was born first. She weighed in at one pound eleven ounces, thirteen and a half inches long.”
Carrie covered her mouth, her eyes filling with tears, her nose burned, as James cupped his hands, showing how tiny his baby girl was.
“Hunter arrived two minutes later, weighing in at a whopping two pounds three ounces and measured fourteen inches long.” James held his hands a bit further apart.
“Are they okay?” she asked.
“They’re both on ventilators. It’s going to be minute-by-minute for a while.” James tried to smile. “I have to get back to Erica. She’s still not stable.”
“Go. We’ll be here waiting. Tell her we’re thinking about her,” Jake said.
Carrie added. “Give her our love.”
James sniffed, wiped his eyes, then shook his head and shoulders, trying to look strong as he headed back to his wife.
No sooner had James departed, then both sets of new grandparents arrived in a flurry of apprehension and questions.
Jake slowly and concisely gave them an update.
Carrie didn’t know how he kept from breaking down when he described Erica’s condition, then that of the babies.
Watching him in action gave her a first-hand glimpse of how he must have been with his own men.
The next time James came out, he escorted Erica’s folks to her room. Ten minutes later he brought them back out and returned for his parents.
It was two very long slow, painful hours before any of them were allowed in the NICU department for a brief glance at the new babies through the window. Separate incubators protected them, providing a perfect temperature to keep them warm.
Country Wishes Page 35
