by Tom Murphy
Gaoler And now, gentlemen, pray return to your cells.
He is moved and he embraces Vicar.
Gaoler That be most comforting, Vicar.
Vicar returns to his cell.
Gaoler The hand of Heaven be indeed sore upon that man.
And we see him pocket the Vicar’s fob-watch which he has stolen.
Scene Three
Prison
Mrs Primrose, a distraught woman, waiting, pacing, whatever.
Jenks is coming in.
Mrs Primrose (to herself) Laws, oh laws!
Jenks Madam, I have procured the conciliatory note for Mr Thornhill!
Mrs Primrose Too late!
Vicar (coming in) What is it, child?
Mrs Primrose He will have no notes, wants no approbation of his marriage. He has somehow obtained Miss Wilmot’s agreement to go ahead without you. But that is not all. Oh, Charles!
Vicar Speak at once!
Mrs Primrose The member of our family you thought exempted from our misfortunes?
Vicar D’you mean our George?
Mrs Primrose He is now to be its greatest victim.
Vicar Speak! – How! – Tell!
Mrs Primrose I must now, my dear, confess to a letter I wrote to my son in the bitterness of my anger, desiring him upon my blessing to avenge our cause.
Vicar What have you done?!
Mrs Primrose I have broken my heart and forfeited the life of my first-born! That is what I have done.
Clanking of chains and keys: George, ragged, bloodied and in chains is brought in by Gaoler.
Vicar . . . George. Do I behold you thus? – Support that woman nor let her fall! I own I’d made allowance to see your return uncrowned with laurels, but . . . (‘Wounded and fettered!’ )
George Give me the courage to drink the bitterness that must shortly be mine.
Jenks But is there no hope?
Mrs Primrose There can be no pardon.
George (crying) Let them take my life. They can have it, so they can.
Jenks Not so hasty, George. Tell us the circumstances.
George (produces letter, which Vicar takes) When I received Mama’s letter, I straightaway came up from Welbridge, determined to punish the betrayer of our honour. I sent him an order to meet me.
Jenks In writing?
George (‘yes’) Which he answered by despatching four of his domestics to seize and beat me. I wounded one but the rest made me captive. Then he arrived.
Jenks Mr Thornhill?
George Yes. To taunt me with the news of the imminence of his marriage – it occurs tomorrow – to the charming Miss Wilmot. Then – and in all ways suggestive – to add gross insult to his contempt, he said that as fitting celebration for wedding’s eve, he was coming here to town, first, to get drunk, then seek my younger sister out.
Mrs Primrose mouths the word (or whispers it ), ‘Sophia’. Hurrying footsteps, clanking keys: Gaoler appears with Moses and lets him in. Their dread.
Moses Sophy is gone!
Gaoler I hope it won’t displease you, Vicar, but it be my duty now to remove your son to a stronger cell.
George is taken away.
Silence.
Vicar (quietly) Too much.
Moses Full calamity has come upon us . . . and perhaps we deserve it.
Mrs Primrose Charles?
Vicar (continues to ignore them; to himself) Stunned.
Moses Are there perhaps some private matters, some hidden sins, Father, between you and God?
Vicar (to himself) Exhausted.
Jenks (offering Bible) For my part, I’d appeal to Heaven that you might lie down at last unafraid.
Vicar (to himself) From Wakefield to this. My fortune gone. Livy, Livy.
Mrs Primrose (concerned for him) Think how strong you used to be, my dear, when all was going well.
Vicar (continuing to himself) House burned down, Blackberry. My health in ruins, George for the hangman, Sophy gone. Exhausted.
Moses You have often charmed us, sir, with lessons in fortitude: let us hear them now.
Mrs Primrose Yes, let us kneel, that your piety may once again, my dear, reassure us.
Vicar May all the curses that ever sunk a soul fall heavily upon the murderer of my children! May he live like me to see –
Moses Father –
Mrs Primrose Dearest
Vicar I have been patient!
Jenks Take your Bible, Vicar, and –
Vicar Oh, that my heart would break at once and let me die!
Moses Sir, your fortitude! –
Mrs Primrose Hold, dear one, do not speak so –
Vicar Oh, that today I might find God and ask His reply to this!
Moses Father! –
Vicar No! –
Moses We blush for you! –
Vicar I will not hold longer from complaint!
Mrs Primrose Dearest –
Vicar Yes, I’m afraid of Him! But will I be a hypocrite and not cry out? God has dealt unfairly with me.
Moses You are declaring, Sir, the orthodox teaching of the Church to be inadequate!
Vicar A test is a test!
Moses For shame!
Mrs Primrose Forebear – oh my dearest – lest He take you too from us in a stroke.
Vicar I-will-not-hold! Am I a stone, a whale, the sea?
Moses The root of the matter, the ancients say – Mother! Mr Jenks! (Speak up!) – is in our sins – and now you add rebellion to them!
Vicar I am innocent! (To Heaven.) What is the charge against me? (To the others.) What are my faults? I speak no falsehoods, I do no wrong. My heart does not reproach me. Errors (Yes.) – little lapses: what harm can they do Him? What are they to Him? – the Almighty! Am I one of His enemies that he launches this onslaught on me? Does it not matter that a man lives an upright life?
Moses Will you teach God knowledge, Sir?
Vicar He is in control, He must take the blame.
Moses Will you claim that any man is just in Heaven’s eye?
Vicar Will I be false to my experience? What am I left but my integrity?!
Moses Mr Jenks! Mother! (Speak up.) – Will you make demand of the Almighty?
Vicar I will. And I do! I now ask God for explanation of all this. Or! That He attend our cry for help. (They open their mouths.) No! (A glance heavenward.) Whichever is the most convenient for Him.
Burchill Hah, Primrose!
There has been a moment’s pause/beat/whatever and Burchill is on the top step. Now the Gaoler comes hurrying with clanking keys to catch up. And Sophy.
Sophy Papa, Mama!
Burchill I should have been here sooner had I not to attend this young lady.
Sophy I was abducted!
Burchill Am I right in thinking that is a burn you are nursing, Sir? I thought so.
Sophy Oh, Mama, I was carried off! While out walking, a ruffian came suddenly upon me from behind and forced me into a post-chaise . . .
Sophy, aside with her mother, telling her story, while Burchill writes a prescription and sends Moses off with it. (And from his outburst, through almost to the end, Vicar holds a dignified remove.)
Burchill Boy, take this note at once to the apothecary!
Sophy . . . I cried out for assistance but my entreaties went disregarded. Then whom should I perceive, out walking with his usual briskness, but Mr Burchill.
Burchill I was actually on my way to visit you here, Sir. Miss Sophia:
Sophy Never ever shall Mr Burchill be able to overtake us, I thought, but in less than a minute he came running up by the side of the coach and in a loud voice bid the postillion to halt. The postillion now endeavoured to drive on at greater speed but with one dangerous blow of his stick to the side of the head, Mr Burchill knocked him senseless to the ground. Now the ruffian who’d abducted me, jumping out with oaths and menaces, with drawn sword, ordered Mr Burchill at his peril to retire, but Mr Burchill, springing at him, shivered the sword to pieces with another single blow
. Now the ruffian, seeing that he was outmatched, turned tail and fled, to make his escape, with Mr Burchill in pursuit for quarter of a mile. Oh Mama, oh Papa!
Vicar Welcome, my child. And you, Mr Burchill, her deliverer. I have long discovered and repented my error about you. I hope you will forgive me.
Mrs Primrose And me. (But she still retains her reservations about Burchill.) We were deceived by a wretch who, under the mask of friendship, has undone the lot of us. Otherwise I should have seen through everything.
Burchill But what angers me: the ruffian’s still at large. Would you recognise him again, Miss Sophia, so as to describe him in an advertisement?
Sophy Now that I recollect, he had a scar over one eyebrow.
Jenks The left one? – Beg pardon, your honour.
Sophy I think so.
Jenks And did your honour notice the length of his legs?
Burchill He outran me, which I considered few in the kingdom could do over any distance.
Jenks Please, sir, he is my cousin! I know his very hiding place at this moment. He is the best runner in all England and has beaten Pinwire of Newcastle.
Burchill And his name?
Jenks Ephraim Jenkinson.
Burchill (eye to eye) You know who I am?
Jenks I know who you are.
Burchill And you, Gaoler: my request is that you permit this fellow to go with two of my servants who are waiting upstairs upon an errand.
Gaoler If your honour sees fit, your honour can send him and all the other criminals in here all over England.
Gaoler and Jenks go out. Moses is coming in.
Mrs Primrose (to Sophy) Who? What is he? (Burchill.)
Moses The dressing you prescribed, dear man.
Burchill (calls) And – Gaoler! – fetch me in the boy. (He dresses Vicar’s arm.) In my young days I made the study of physic my amusement and, though I say it myself, was considered more than moderately skilled in the profession.
Mrs Primrose Sure to God he cannot be . . . ?
Sophy Oh no! For if he is, I have lost him in the unbridgeable gap between our stations.
Gaoler brings George in.
Burchill And so, again, unthinking boy, you –
Gaoler Beg, beg, beg pardon, your honour, but another gentleman’s arrived upstairs as says you summoned here, and begs to know when –
Burchill Bid him wait my leisure!
Gaoler leaves.
Burchill And so, again, unthinking boy, you imagine that a contempt for your own life gives you the right to take that of another!
Vicar Alas, Mr Burchill – Sir – whoever you are, pity my misguided son, for what he has done was in obedience to a deluded mother. Here, sir, her letter. It will serve to convince you of her imprudence and perhaps lessen his guilt.
Burchill This is a palliative of his fault, but not a perfect excuse. A decision must be postponed. I see, young sir, you are surprised at finding me here. I have come in God’s stead to see justice done and, may I say without boasting, none ever taxed tbe injustice of Sir William Thornhill.
He removes his long drab overcoat, revealing an elegant costume.
Mrs Primrose I knew it!
And Sophy turns away in tears.
Burchill Gaoler! Fetch Mr Thornhill down here.
Mrs Primrose Ah, Sir William, the slights you received from me the last time I had the honour of seeing you! My jokes, and the bite of my witticisms! I fear I can never be forgiven.
Burchill It is not possible to forgive. I saw through your delusion then and, as it was not in my power to restrain, I could only pity it.
Thornhill, with his timid servant, Butler, in attendance, are shown in by Gaoler.
Thornhill Uncle William! (Coming to embrace him.)
Burchill No fawning, sir, at present! I am here to conduct an examination. I know the Primrose side of the case. To enable me to judge on all the evidence, your statement, sir.
Thornhill Is it necessary for me, Uncle, a Thornhill, to have to justify my actions in the eyes of another member of that noble family?
Burchill Refrain from addressing me as uncle in the present circumstances. You will address me simply as ‘Sir William’ or as ‘Your Honour’. Now, how is it that this man and his family, for whom you professed friendship, are used thus hardly?
Thornhill If used thus hardly it is because they deserve it.
Mrs Primrose Monster! He has vilely –
Burchill Silence! How is it, Sir, that a vicar is thrown into prison, his daughter seduced as a recompense for his hospitality, his son, whom you feared to face as a man, his –
Thornhill Uncle – Your Honour – Sir William! I protest! Is it possible that my judge, the esteemed Sir William Thornhill, is putting forward as one of my crimes my refusal to fight a duel?
Burchill Your protestation, Sir, is –
Thornhill And that the motive for my refusal is fear?!
Burchill In this instance, you –
Thornhill Rather than imputing my conduct to my strictest adherence to your own repeated-and-repeated instructions on the subject of duelling?
Burchill In this instance you acted prudently and you have my approbation.
Thornhill (emotionally) I find this . . . I find this most upsetting.
Burchill The rest of your statement, Sir.
Thornhill Very well then. I appeared, Your Honour, with the vicar’s daughter at a few places of public amusement. What was levity is now called by harsher name and it is reported that I debauched the girl. I waited upon her father, in person – did I not? – willing to settle the matter to his satisfaction. I invited him as guest of my wedding! The conduct of a guilty man, the action of a debauchee? And he received me, sir, a Thornhill and his landlord, with insult and abuse – with threats! ‘Were my brave son, my George, at home he would – !’ Ask him can he contradict. As to his being here in prison: he owes me money. He is a debtor. Will Your Honour, here, too, censure and call it injustice my pursuing the normal and the legal means of address, which you yourself counsel and practise? Indeed, Your Honour, since the management of my financial affairs rests entirely in Your Honour’s hands, it is every bit Your Honour’s business, as much as mine, to proceed in the matter.
Burchill . . . Hah! (He’s stumped.)
Thornhill And he cannot contradict a single particular. Ask him.
Burchill Dr Primrose?
Thornhill There! Nothing! While I can produce a dozen witnesses to anything I say. Here, you, Butler, do you attest to everything I say? Speak up, you – you –
Butler I attest!
Thornhill There! There! And thus! Thus! My innocence is vindicated. And though I should be ready to forgive this old gentleman in every other offence, I cannot-cannot-cannot forgive his attempts to lessen me in the eyes of someone I venerate – you, Your Honour. His very meanness here excites in me a resentment I cannot govern. And this, too, when his son, an experienced duellist, was preparing to take my life. And even though Sir William Thornhill himself should dissuade – which I now know he will not – I shall see justice done and you and you (George and Vicar) shall suffer, you shall suffer, you shall suffer! As I have suffered.
Burchill Can you offer dispute, Sir?
Vicar I will not offer dispute, Sir.
Thornhill There!
Mrs Primrose (in tears) Sir William!
Sophy (in tears) Sir William!
Burchill But if there is no further evidence –
Thornhill There is none! –
Burchill If my nephew – if Mr Thornhill insists –
Thornhill I do insist – I will persist! –
George (in tears, to Moses) What shall I do?
Thornhill And I shall have justice! – Sophy My father and my brother are innocent!
Thornhill And you and you shall suffer! –
Mrs Primrose Then, take my life! –
Burchill Silence! –
Thornhill You all shall suffer! –
Moses It strikes me, Ge
orge, you should not swing for nothing.
And George goes for Thornhill. A fracas ensues – all shouting: Thornhill for protection, Burchill for the Gaoler, et cetera. The Gaoler comes in and attempts to restore order: he leaves the gate open.
And Jenks returns with Ephraim Jenkinson, who is a man with long legs: they go unobserved by the others as yet . . .
Burchill Silence! Am I to hang you all! Remove this rash young person. (George.) And should he be called again, see that he appears in my presence more properly clad!
Thornhill (hissing) You all shall suffer! You all shall . . .
But now – George is being removed – they become aware of Jenks’ and Ephraim Jenkinson’s presence and they become silent.
Jenks Ephraim Jenkinson. He has confessed all. It was resolved that he should carry off that young lady, (Sophy) that Mr Thornhill should then arrive as if by accident and rescue her, by which means he would have better opportunity of gaining her confidence, then her affections.
Burchill Gaoler! Lock the gate!
Thornhill Do you take the word of this – criminal? Mr Jenks is the practising imposter of all professions – why is he here? I had to have him flogged, then dismissed from my service when I discovered his dishonesty – the depth of his depravity. His motives here against me are malicious. Ask any of my trusted servants for testimony. As for this person – (Ephraim Jenkinson.) I never saw him before in my life. (Aside to Butler.) Attest.
Butler I attest.
Thornhill (aside, again, to Butler) Speak up, you-you – (‘ugly useless, little toad!’ Confidently, strutting, his back to Butler.) Have you once – ever – seen me in the company of this long-legged person? . . . Speak up!
Butler Yes. Yes, I’ve seen you together. Yes, I’ve seen you a thousand times together!
Thornhill How! This to my face?
Butler Or to any man’s face. For I have never loved you, Sir.
Burchill Address your remarks to me, my man.
Butler Please, Your Honour, Sir, I was present when the plans were laid to carry off the vicar’s daughters, sir. He (Ephraim Jenkinson) was the man always brought my master his ladies and the bogus priest that pretended to marry them.
