by Louise Guy
Once they finished, Sean excused himself to make the calls before getting the girls to drama. The twins went upstairs to brush their teeth.
They were hurtling past him as he walked towards his office and his phone rang. The caller ID showed it was Leah’s phone.
His heart caught in his throat. Leah’s phone? Who could be ringing from Leah’s phone? For a split second, he prayed it was all a mistake, a horrible dream. Was Leah still alive?
Please God, let her be alive.
He answered. ‘Hello?’
Leah pushed the tray of food away. She had no appetite. She’d slept during the night, thanks to a sleeping tablet the nurses had given her. She’d woken, unsure of where she was until the dull throb of her head and arm reminded her.
Tears immediately filled her eyes at the memory of the accident. Would she wake every day with the vision of her sister coated in blood? The recollection of trying to revive her? She shuddered, her stomach churning.
She took a deep breath and reached for her phone. It was seven-thirty. Sean was probably giving the girls their breakfast. She’d ring them first to say hello and wish them a great day before moving on to the calls she was dreading.
Sean answered his cell on the third ring. ‘Hello?’ His voice was quiet, tentative.
‘It’s me, Sean, Eve.’
‘Oh, of course, I saw Leah’s number and got a shock.’
‘Sorry, I didn’t even think.’ Leah had automatically used her own phone. She was going to have to get up to speed quickly with being the right person. ‘I used her phone at the accident and I guess the paramedics assumed it was mine.’
‘Everything okay?’ His voice was full of concern.
‘I needed to speak to the girls. Reassure them I’m okay.’
There was a silence at the end of the phone.
‘Sean?’
He cleared his throat. ‘Um, sorry. I’ll put Harry on first. Ava must still be brushing her teeth.’
‘Hello, Mummy.’ Harriet’s voice sounded so young.
‘Hello, darling. I wanted to tell you I can’t wait to see you today. I hope you and Ava will have your markers ready to decorate my cast.’
‘You still want us to do that?’ Harriet asked. ‘Daddy thought you might change your mind.’
That was because Daddy thought she was Eve.
‘No, I haven’t changed my mind, I can’t wait to see what your butterfly is going to look like.’
‘I might draw a flamingo too. The same colour as your favourite lipstick.’
Leah smiled. ‘I’d love that. Now you have a great day.’
‘I’ll try. Ava’s here, Mummy, I’ll put her on.’
‘Love you, Harry,’ she said but the little girl had already passed the phone to her sister.
‘Mummy?’ Ava’s voice was shaky.
‘Are you okay, love?’
The little girl started to cry. ‘I want Aunty Lee-Lee.’
‘Oh, honey,’ tears welled in her eyes. ‘We all do. She loved us all so much you know. She’d be sad seeing you upset. You know that, don’t you?’
‘I can’t help it, Mummy,’ Ava sniffed. ‘I’m sorry, I’ll try to be better.’
Leah blinked, trying to hold back her tears. ‘Don’t be sorry, and it’s not that you aren’t being good. Aunty Leah would want you to try to think of all the happy things you and she did together. Of all the things you loved about her. I’m sure she’s still here with us in spirit. She’ll be watching over you, surrounding you with all her love.’
‘I hope so,’ Ava said. The tears stopped, and she sounded a little more cheerful.
‘Now, I was telling Harry I’ll be home this afternoon when you get back from drama and the cast on my arm needs decorating. I wondered if you had any of the glittery stickers you could put on it?’
‘The ones you told me to take off my door?’ Ava asked. ‘The ones I got in trouble for and had to go to bed early?’
Leah grimaced. She had better get used to tripping up. ‘Yes, they’re the ones. I really love them, although perhaps not on your door. I think they’d look great on my arm.’ She held her breath. She’d managed to inject a tiny bit of Eve into the conversation but she hoped not enough to upset Ava.
‘Okay, Mummy. I’ll go and find them before I go to drama. We’ll get our pens ready too, so we can start the minute we get home.’
‘Great. Ava, I love you very much. You know that don’t you?’
‘I think so.’
Think so? Leah cleared her throat. ‘So, I need you to do something for me.’
‘What?’ Ava asked.
‘I need you to go and find Daddy and give him a huge hug. Squeeze him so tight he squeals and tell him that it’s from Mummy. Then tell him he has to give you one and Harry one. I’m sending all my love to the three of you this morning.’
She closed her eyes at the sound of Ava’s giggle, a tear rolling down her cheek.
‘You sound funny, Mummy. Are you sure you’re okay?’
‘I’m better than okay. I can’t wait to see you all later. Now I should go. A doctor has come in to chat with me. Love you, Aves.’
‘Love you too, Mummy.’
Leah pressed end on the call and turned her attention to Doctor Logan.
‘How are you feeling today?’ he asked.
She managed a smile. ‘Sore, but alive.’ The word alive brought tears to her eyes. She wiped them. ‘Sorry. Physically, a lot better but it’s going to take some time. Every time I think of the accident or my sister…well you know.’
Dr Logan nodded. ‘It’s going to be a hard road for a while. I’m here to talk about your physical injuries, but I will give you some information before you leave, as I highly recommend you seek counselling. I have a couple of great recommendations for psychologists. Other members of your family might benefit from some, too.’
Her parents. She doubted her dad would agree, he was too old school, but her mum might.
‘I’d like you to go and see your GP in three days, to check that all is okay. While things are still a bit hazy, we’ll need to keep an eye on you, particularly the trauma to your head. Make a note if you find you’re struggling with your memory. Record the date, time and what you’ve forgotten. We’ll review that in a few weeks,’ the doctor continued.
‘Is there anything you can do if I’m unable to remember things?’ Leah asked. She’d struggle with Eve’s memory. Not due to the bump on her head, of course.
The doctor shook his head. ‘Not a lot, other than monitor you further. Make sure there’s no swelling. We didn’t detect any in the initial examination. Now, I’d better get on with your paperwork so you can be discharged.’
She thanked him and waited until he had left before reaching for her phone. She had a couple of hours before Sean would be there to pick her up. She took a deep breath.
The first call was the one she dreaded most.
Sean stood watching the girls chase each other around the school playground. They were a few minutes early for their drama workshop and had begged him to let them have a quick play.
He couldn’t shake the guilt that’d stayed with him since he’d learned of the accident. If only he’d spoken to Eve when he was calmer, not as she was about to leave the house for the night. She’d had that drink, and she’d been angry. On this occasion, it’d proved to be a lethal combination.
The police had said alcohol wasn’t a factor. Her body must’ve been able to metabolise it more quickly than he imagined. But…he knew her well enough to know even a few mouthfuls would’ve been enough to fuel the hurt and anger his words had created.
He blinked away the threatening tears and waved at Harriet, who was now hanging upside down from one of the climbing frames.
There was nothing Sean could do to change what’d happened. Leah’s death was something he was going to have to work out how to live with. They all were.
Fear, guilt and panic overcame Leah as she stared at Jackie’s number. How could she do this
to her best friend? She half contemplated telling Jackie the truth.
What would her friend say? But, there was no way she’d let Leah give up her own life and take over Eve’s. Jackie would point out all the reasons it wasn’t a good idea.
How Leah could still be like a mother to the girls. It wouldn’t work. She had to be there with them. In their house. She couldn’t do if she was still Aunty Lee-Lee.
Jackie would consider it a betrayal if she ever found out, and that was exactly why she couldn’t confide in her. There was nothing malicious in what she was doing. It wasn’t something she would’ve even considered doing until Eve had asked her.
She loved her sister, and she loved those two little girls more than anything in the world. She’d do anything for them.
Leah took a deep breath. Part of her wished she’d asked Sean to make this call, but she owed her friend this—at least. She couldn’t back out now. She pressed the call button before she could back out.
‘Lee-Lee,’ Jackie’s smiling voice filled her ear. ‘How are you, hon? I was going to ring you later today. Check what date suits you for our spa weekend. More bastard cleansing and all that.’
She closed her eyes. Her friend would be looking forward to that weekend. She cleared her throat. ‘Jackie, it’s Eve. Not Leah.’
‘Oh. Sorry, I saw Leah’s caller ID and assumed.’ She paused. ‘Is everything okay?’
Leah swallowed.
She could picture her friend in her kitchen sipping her morning coffee and reading the paper. She’d probably packed Richard and the kids off to one of their weekend sports, and was going to spend the next couple of precious kid free hours relaxing.
‘No, Jackie, it’s not. There’s been an accident.’
She heard a sharp intake of breath on the other end of the line.
Leah continued, scared if she stopped she wouldn’t be able to. ‘Leah and I were going to a party, and a kangaroo jumped out in front of us. I swerved to miss it, but the car skidded off the road and rolled down a pretty steep embankment.’
‘Oh my God.’
‘Leah didn’t make it, Jackie. I’m so sorry.’ Tears rolled down her cheeks as she listened for her friend’s response.
When she finally spoke, Jackie’s voice was so choked she could hardly understand her. ‘So sorry,’ was all she could make out through the tears.
‘Me too, Jackie. She loved you so much, you know,’ Leah found herself saying through her own tears. ‘She would’ve done anything for you.’
Except continue to live. Except tell you the truth right now.
‘Are you okay, Eve?’ Jackie managed.
Of course her beautiful friend would be concerned about Eve, too. ‘Just a few cuts and bruises.’
‘Oh, Eve. I don’t know what to say. I think I need to go.’ Her best friend choked back a sob. ‘I can’t believe she’s gone.’
‘Me either.’
‘I’ll call you tomorrow, Eve,’ Jackie said. ‘When I can think properly. Should I call this number or your number? I don’t have that.’
‘This one’s fine,’ Leah said. ‘I’ll speak to you tomorrow. We haven’t made any arrangements yet, but of course I’ll let you know when we have. I’m still in the hospital, but will be discharged soon.’
‘Eve,’ Her friend’s voice dissolved into tears again. ‘I’m so sorry.’
She ended the call and stared at her phone, imagining what her friend was going through.
The reality of what she was doing was beginning to sink in. She took a deep breath.
Was she going to be able to do this? Watch her friends and family grieve for her?
Her head pounded as she laid back, tears spilling down her cheeks and onto the pillow. It would get easier, with time. Leah had to believe that. She had to believe she was doing the right thing.
Sean gave the girls another five minutes before walking them into the large school auditorium. He sought the drama teacher while they put their lunches in the fridge, and got themselves organised.
He explained what’d happened and ensured she had his number in case either twin became upset and needed to be picked up early. He hugged them goodbye and spent a few minutes reassuring Ava he’d drive safely before leaving and driving to the hospital.
The fear in his daughter’s eyes chilled him. The accident had left her so frightened. Sending the girls off to the workshop might’ve been a bad idea.
He probably should’ve left them with his parents or taken them to the hospital to pick up Eve. Sean contemplated turning back to get them but the school would ring if there was an issue. The last thing Eve would want was the girls bugging her.
He remembered the phone call that morning. It was very un-Eve like to call the girls. On the few occasions she’d been away without them, they hadn’t heard from her. Out of sight, out of mind.
She was definitely vulnerable and out of sorts. Perhaps some good would come out of the accident? Perhaps the old Eve would reappear?
She’d changed when the twins were born. Her happy and carefree nature had been replaced by a hard, distant version of herself. Eve was back at work full-time three months after their birth, employing nannies and babysitters at every opportunity.
Yes, it was hard. Yes, it was tiring, but they’d wanted a family. To be blessed with beautiful twin girls was incredible.
Sean had cut back his hours as much as he could in the early days, but eventually his case load grew and he was back working seventy-hour weeks.
The night of the accident Eve had asked if he’d ever considered perhaps she’d been struggling.
She’d definitely struggled, but he’d never taken the time to look at why. No one else had suggested post-natal depression or anything of the kind. Sean believed—and if he was honest, still did—she just hadn’t liked the changes babies had brought to their lives.
Memories of the last seven years plagued him while he continued to the hospital, eventually pulling into the multi-level car park. They weren’t all bad. They’d had some good times.
The girls’ birthday was always a wonderful day. Eve went all out, ensuring everything was perfect.
He liked to think that was for the girl’s benefit and not purely to out-do the other mothers. He pulled into a parking spot and sat for a moment. His life hadn’t turned out how he’d thought it would. His parents had a wonderful friendship and marriage and it was what he’d assumed he’d have, too.
They hadn’t ever had that, not really. He’d been swept up by Eve’s enthusiasm for life and for him, and had found himself moving along at her speed, never thinking to say stop or to decide whether it was really what he wanted.
Sean turned off the car and pushed open his door. Fifteen years and two kids later, it was a bit late to be re-evaluating.
Eve’s eyes were shut, when Sean entered the room, her blonde hair sticking out from under the bandages. Even with cuts, bruising and her head wrapped in bandages, she was beautiful.
Sean’s breath had been taken away the very first time he’d seen Leah. She was stunning. To then discover an identical twin existed had blown him away. Two women who looked like this?
What would’ve happened if he hadn’t met Eve? If he and Leah had finished that first date, and had another.
They would’ve, but Eve had sabotaged it. Not that he hadn’t gone along with it.
Leah hadn’t seemed to mind. In fact she couldn’t get out of there quick enough when Eve had said she was interested in him. Her speedy departure led Sean to assume Leah had welcomed her sister’s appearance.
Sean put the small overnight bag of clothes down beside the bed and sat in the chair next to his wife, then took her hand.
Eve’s eyes fluttered open, and she smiled. The smile reached her eyes and lit up her face. It was as if she really was genuinely happy to see him.
‘How are you?’ he asked.
The smile instantly dropped. ‘I rang Jackie. It was horrible. I couldn’t ring anyone else.’
‘I’
ll make the calls if you like. Actually, I did ring Peter, in case you were supposed to work today. You’ve worked a lot of Sunday afternoons lately, so I thought I’d let him know. I also wasn’t sure about tomorrow either, with it being a public holiday.’
Her boss had sounded rather vague when Sean had mentioned Eve working on a Sunday. The accident seemed to leave him lost for words.
‘He said to give him a call first thing Tuesday and let him know how you are. There’s no hurry to go back. He also said to tell you how sorry he is.’
She gave a little nod, then winced. ‘Head still hurts. Thanks for calling Peter. I’ll make the other calls, but I’ll wait until we get home. Jackie was the hardest one.’
‘Are you going to ring Grant?’ Sean asked. ‘He’d want to know.’
Eve’s face hardened at the mention of Grant’s name. He was a cheat and a liar and he could see his wife had no time for the man at all. It reminded him of how sickened Eve had been when she’d found out a colleague of Sean’s was cheating on her husband.
She’d made it very clear that it would be the end of their relationship if he ever strayed, and yet he’d been so sure she was seeing someone else. Obviously he’d been wrong.
Leah’s thoughts flicked to her ex. How would he take the news? Probably be relieved he didn’t have to deal with her again and there’d be no revenge. Although, he knew her well enough to know that revenge wasn’t likely.
Yes, she’d ring him all right. She’d be Eve ringing, so she’d give him a piece of her mind. His parents would want to know, too.
Her heart softened and guilt replaced her anger. She’d become close with Isabelle. Grant’s mother had been looking forward to welcoming Leah into the family properly. She’d often jokingly referred to her as her soon-to-be daughter. She’d be very upset.
‘I’ll ring him later. For now, I’d better get dressed so we can get out of here.’
Sean stood and picked up the overnight bag. ‘I brought you some clothes. Comfy things, hope that’s okay?’
