by Tara Randel
“You know you have a limited window of opportunity,” Lynny said in a low voice as she sidled next to Derrick.
“For what?”
“Sweeping Anna away from Jonathan.”
“Maybe she doesn’t want to be swept away.”
Lynny sent him a get real look and grabbed Roger’s arm. Together they went off to another section of the gym.
Hannah stopped beside him and placed her hands on her hips. “Lynny motioned me over and then she left.”
“It’s that matchmaker thing she’s got going on.”
“She needs to worry about her own love life.” Hannah shook her head. “Which I must say looks like it’s taken a turn for the better.”
“Yeah, Roger’s interested. Just give them time.” He met her gaze and held it. “Like us?”
She let out a sigh. “Just because I took off Jonathan’s ring doesn’t mean I don’t want to marry him.”
Derrick ran a hand over the back of his neck. The volume level in the gym rose as more people arrived. “I guess I’m confused. If you love him, what’s the problem?”
“You,” she said, turning on her boot heel to head to a table with a grade-four sign. She picked the top book from a stack and stood it up so the students could view the colorful cover.
“It’s not like I haven’t made my intentions known,” he said as he joined her.
“Yes.” She held a book in her hand, gripping it like it was a lifeline before she glanced his way. “But once your reason for being here is over you’ll be gone.”
“I don’t have to stay away.”
“Your job is back east.”
“I can transfer.” He’d given it a lot of thought. If Hannah wanted them to try again, he’d gladly pull up stakes and move here.
She replaced the book and picked up another to showcase. “Right now all I can think about is finding out why the gemstone came into your possession after so many years. Once that chapter is closed, I’ll be able to move forward.”
“Will you? I know you have feelings for Prescott. I get that. He was there for you when I wasn’t. But I’m here now.” His heart picked up a beat as he spoke the words burning in him. “I’ve lived half my life without you, Hannah, like part of me has been missing. I want to be whole and I think you do, too.”
Her face went soft and her eyes welled. “Not fair.”
“It’s the truth.”
She ran a finger over the spine of a book, refusing to look his way.
“I remember the hours we spent in the library,” he said, hoping memories would make her see what he thought was unmistakable: that they belonged together. “You were always reading something about art. Your face would light up when you came to a part that caught your fancy and you’d have to tell me about it.”
A slight smile curved her lips. “You always humored me.”
“Because I didn’t care where we were or what we were doing as long as we did it together. You felt that way, too.”
Her voice was barely audible when she said, “I remember.”
“Would it be so hard to give us a second chance?”
She straightened a row of books and finally looked straight at him. “Did you know I pressed the corsage you gave me on prom night into one of my favorite books?”
“I remember giving you flowers, but more than that, I remember that was the night I gave you my promise ring.”
She nodded, her voice thick when she spoke. “When we left our home so suddenly, all those memories, everything I treasured from growing up were gone. Just gone. No getting them back. Not for any of us.”
His stomach sank. “The ring?”
“Just another memory.”
Regret swamped him. The other people in the room ceased to exist as he focused solely on Hannah. “I can’t change what happened. I’d do anything if I could, but we both know that’s impossible. But you have to know I never stopped loving you. Not ever.”
When she didn’t respond, he gathered up the courage to keep going. “Since I’ve been here, I’ve fallen even more in love with the woman you’ve become, Hannah. The attention you show your students, how you make sure your mom is happy and has the best health care, you even have time to help struggling artists make a name for themselves. How could I not want a future with such a wonderful woman?”
She tilted up her chin. “You said you’d give me time to untangle my emotions. To decide where we go from here.”
Guilt pressed on him. He’d gone back on his word, again. But when it came to Hannah, he couldn’t help but push the issue because the clock was steadily ticking. Couldn’t she see what a gift this was? To find each other again? How often did that happen to people? How could he not remind her of what they’d shared? Of what could be and how precious it was? He’d been surprised by his restraint at her request for more time, but as the days passed and he saw her slipping away, he was losing patience. And that rashness may have lost her in the process.
“You’re right,” he said, backing down. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry—just listen to me.”
“Like Prescott does?”
Her eyes darkened. “Stop bringing him into the conversation.”
“I can’t help it. He’s part of this.”
Her sadness quickly turned to annoyance. “I need more time.”
Derrick nodded. If she was truly done with him, the void in his heart would never be filled again.
* * *
THAT NIGHT HANNAH STOOD before the mirror in her bedroom. She’d dressed for an evening at the gallery: a simple black dress with tall black boots. She’d styled her hair to curl over her shoulders and added dangly earrings to finish what she hoped was a sophisticated look. Critics would be there and Hannah wanted to present a professional air.
As she reached for the bangle bracelets, she couldn’t resist adding the one Derrick had made for her at the museum. Then her gaze landed on the ornate jewelry box he’d made and presented to her on her sixteenth birthday. One of the only things she’d been able to grab the night the Marshals had come to whisk them away. She gently ran her fingers over the wooden lid. Derrick had carved a design of flowers in bloom. She picked it up and walked to the bed, taking a seat as she eased it open.
Inside were the pieces of costume jewelry she’d collected as a kid, ticket stubs and a strip of pictures taken in a photo booth with Derrick, both of them making funny faces. She couldn’t contain a smile. How young they looked. As though nothing bad could ever touch them and their future was secure.
Picking through the mishmash of trinkets, she found notes from Derrick buried underneath. What she was doing? It had been so long since she’d left Florida, yet the pain in Hannah’s heart still felt fresh.
Nestled in the corner of the satin-lined box was a gold ring. Hannah picked it up and placed the box beside her. In the bedside lamp light, the small stone sparkled. She swallowed around the lump in her throat as tears blurred her vision.
Why hadn’t she told Derrick she still had his ring? Was she really so frightened by her feelings for him? Afraid of what she might say or do if she unlocked the floodgates of her emotions?
She slipped it on her finger, surprised the beloved ring still fit. It had been ages since she’d looked at the symbol of the love she and Derrick had once shared.
He was the same man, yet so different. When he was a teen, he’d been cocky and headstrong. Now, his tenderness with the children, particularly Tommy, the solicitous care and respect he showed her mother, the protectiveness he revealed in his attempts to safeguard her, all these things were making her fall harder for him than ever.
Was it possible to share her life with him again? To take a chance?
She had a decision to make and time was running out. Guilt crawled over her. She’d been right to tell Jonathan she couldn’t wear his engagement
ring. At least until Derrick’s time here was over. But Derrick had said he’d move here to be near her, so she was back to square one, not wanting to make the choice that would hurt one of the men in her life.
Coughing sounded down the hallway. Dabbing her fingers under her eyes to get rid of the tears and not mess up her makeup, Hannah placed the ring in the special hideaway, but not before her mother caught her action from the doorway.
“Your cough is getting worse,” Hannah said as she rose to carry the box back to its place on the dresser.
Her mother’s voice was hoarse when she said, “I guess if I admit I have done too much lately, you won’t let me live it down.”
“Oh, Mom. You know I’m just concerned.”
Her mother smiled. Pulled her robe over her chest. “I may have to call the doctor on Monday.”
“I could stay home with you tonight. Jonathan will understand.”
Her mother waved a hand. “Carol is coming over. I’ll be fine.”
“You’re sure?”
“I’m not going to let you use me as an excuse not to go to the exhibit.”
“Is it that obvious?”
“Why else would you be poring over old memories? The ones involving Derrick.”
The ache that wouldn’t abate in her chest grew stronger. The answer was right there, but she refused to voice it. “Mom, what would you do if you were in my shoes?”
“Oh, my.” Her mother wrinkled her brow. “That’s a question.”
“Seriously. I’m afraid to make the wrong decision.”
Her mother took a tissue from her robe pocket and wiped her nose. “Sometimes just making any decision is a step in the right direction.”
“But in the end, someone gets hurt.”
“Unfortunately, that is the case.”
Hannah looked down at her finger. No matter what she decided, she would break a heart. Her own even? Would the decent thing be to walk away from both men, giving neither an answer? Giving them freedom to move on and find women worthy of their love? Stringing them along wasn’t admirable and she was coming to despise her actions daily.
“It’s rather telling that you put Jonathan’s ring away and you’re admiring Derrick’s right now.”
Hannah smiled. “Just for old time’s sake. I don’t plan on wearing it out of this house.”
“There was a time you wouldn’t have removed it for any reason.”
“Until I had multiple reasons to take it off.”
“Still, you wore it for a long time.”
She had. Until hope had flickered out and she tucked childhood dreams away.
Silence blanketed the room before her mother spoke again. “I know you have a true affection for Jonathan, but what does your heart say?”
Derrick, a voice whispered deep inside her.
She met her mother’s gaze and received a knowing smile in return.
“Am I that far gone?” Hannah asked.
“To those who know you.”
She placed a hand over her heart, hoping to ease the flip-flopping in her chest. “I’ve kept Derrick at a distance, even though I’ve wanted to throw caution to the wind and tell him I never stopped loving him.”
“But?”
“I made a commitment.” Hannah glanced at her reflection and frowned. “I’ve changed and grown since I first loved Derrick, then met Jonathan. Are my feelings for Derrick echoes from the past or because of the man he is today? I accepted Jonathan’s proposal, knowing Derrick was my first love, but now?”
“You made your decision with the information you had at the time. Derrick didn’t know where you were, therefore he couldn’t find you.”
“Doesn’t change the fact that I made a promise to Jonathan.”
“You’re seeing Jonathan tonight, Derrick tomorrow. Listen to your heart, Hannah. It won’t steer you wrong.”
Hannah would have quipped that the organ hadn’t been working up to par lately, but didn’t want to squelch her mother’s advice. She was right. Hannah had to decide.
Her mother walked into the room. “You took on a heavy load when we separated from your father and carried it quite effortlessly,” she said, her voice husky from coughing.
“You’re kidding, right? Mom, you lost more than me.”
“We both lost a great deal. But instead of wallowing, you shouldered the responsibility, took care of me and still managed to have a fulfilling career and relationship.”
“I feel like I’m slipping on the job.” Hannah frowned as her mother moved into the light. “You’re pale, Mom.”
Her mother took a step back and ducked her head as another coughing jag took over. Once her breathing had calmed, she turned back. Hannah couldn’t miss the moisture in her eyes and the way her chest raggedly rose and fell.
“That’s it—I’m staying home.”
“Absolutely not.” Her mother coughed again, then took a deep breath. “I’m just going to rest on the couch. There’s nothing you can do.”
“Mom—”
“I’ll be one-hundred-percent happier knowing you are out having a good time.”
“How can I have a good time when I’m worried about you?”
“You’re sweet, but I insist you go.”
Hannah knew her mother well enough to realize there was no point arguing any further. “Promise you’ll keep your cell phone nearby so you can call me if you feel worse.”
“I promise.”
Hannah could only take her at her word.
She ran a finger over the box holding Derrick’s ring. There was only so much procrastinating she could do so she picked up her clutch and walked with her mother into the living room. She made a cup of tea and had her mother nestled on the couch when Carol arrived.
“Mom sounds worse, so please let me know if you think I should come home early.”
Carol patted her arm. “Gave you a hard time, did she?”
Hannah chuckled. “You know her.”
“I do. Now be on your way and I promise to contact you if she gets worse.”
After another round of goodbyes, Hannah left for the gallery.
A sappy love song drifted from the radio as she drove through the dark, dank night. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” she said and turned the dial. Silence was better than reminders of love. Until the silence made the thoughts in her head run in a relentless loop, so she switched to a twenty-four-hour talk station.
The temperature wasn’t as cold as it had been for the last few weeks, but Hannah made sure to button up her coat before walking the few blocks to the gallery. Couples strolled by, arm in arm, a constant reminder of the decisions that lay ahead of her. She should have coaxed Lynny into coming tonight. At least her friend would have kept her from wallowing in her misery.
Bright lights spilled from the gallery windows. From her vantage point, Hannah could see a crowd. Pushing past her worries, she mustered up a smile and stepped inside.
Immediately she was greeted by critics and longtime gallery clients she’d come to know. She removed her coat and made her way to the back of the room to leave it with an attendant. Squaring her shoulders, she set out to mingle, on the lookout for Jonathan. He was conspicuously missing, which seemed odd, but she attributed it to him meeting with a client in his office as he often did on a busy night.
As she made a circuit of the room, she bumped into Bernard, the artist of the night, who wrapped her in a hearty hug.
“My favorite person on earth,” he gushed, his eyes sparking with excitement.
“What a turnout,” she said as they parted, pleased to see the prickly artist having a good time.
“I don’t know why I didn’t listen to you sooner. The Prescott Gallery is the perfect place to showcase my sculptures.”
“I really don’t want to say it...”
“G
o on.” He said with a flourish of his hand, “Get it over and done with.”
“I told you so.”
“Yes, you did and I’m forever grateful.” He pulled her closer and lowered his mouth toward her ear. “The critic from Culture Today is here. I can’t decide if I’m more nervous or pleased that he’s going to mention my work in the magazine.”
Hannah couldn’t have been any more thrilled. “Pleased, of course.”
“I knew I could count on you to rally around my work.”
“Who wouldn’t?” His talent with glass and metal was singular and quickly gaining popularity.
He frowned, jutting his chin in the direction behind Hannah. She turned to see Jonathan and the always chic Michelle coming from his office. Michelle wore a smug smile which grew wider when Hannah met her gaze.
“That’s a woman to watch out for,” Bernard warned before moving on to the next fan.
With a sinking feeling swirling in her stomach, Hannah waited for Jonathan to notice her. When he did, his eyes flickered away and back again, and his smile slipped. He walked over to her, giving her a kiss on the cheek.
“I was getting worried,” he said in greeting.
“Mom caught a cold so I took a little extra time to make sure she was settled for the night.”
“You are much too generous, looking out for everyone but you.”
She shrugged, assuming his words were a compliment, but not sure from his unusually reserved tone.
Michelle came up beside him and offered a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes.
“We weren’t sure if you were going to show up tonight,” she said.
“I was just explain—”
“It’s okay,” Jonathan interrupted. “You’re here now.”
“And I spoke to some of the reviewers already. They’re quite taken with the exhibit.”
A genuine smile curved Jonathan’s lips.
“Speaking of which,” she said, “here’s our very own Nevada Now reporter.”
Hannah suspected Jonathan had forgotten the young woman’s name so she quickly put out her hand to shake. “Nice to see you, Marie.”
“Same here. Thanks for the invite.”
