“Pretty good crowd tonight, imagine how furious they’d be if they knew what they were celebrating.”
Whatever else they said was soon lost on me, because now I too, was forced to face what we were hear to celebrate—or, in my case—to hide from. As was the common pattern over the last four days, as soon as the worries surfaced, so did the debilitating moodiness that would usually have darkened the world around me, if I hadn’t learnt to control it a little better by now. Unfortunately, that left me to deal with a sudden desire to smash the nearest object into the nearest wall. Spotting an unopened bottle of wine on a table not far away, manned by a butler, who was delicately pouring glasses and arranging them on trays for other servants to carry around, I turned from Cale and Hazen’s conversation. It was harder to move through the crowd now that people didn’t give me a wide berth wherever I walked, but I soon reached my goal, and snatched up the bottle of wine, holding it out to the surprised butler with an innocently imploring look that I had seen Rose use earlier. The man reached for the bottle, almost by reflex.
“You want this one, ma’am?”
“I need you to uncork it.”
To my surprise, he actually seemed to blush, and then hastened to do my bidding, uncertainly handing me back the now-open bottle.
“Thanks.” I offered, flashing him a smile.
He also smiled back automatically, though I was beginning to worry about the dazed look in his eye, and quickly moved away from him and back to the others, pretending that I didn’t notice that they were staring at me too.
“Am I golden?” I asked Cale in a low voice, taking a quick swig from the bottle.
“I’m not following.”
“Golden,” I repeated, pointing at my hair, and then at my eyes, “everyone is acting dazed, am I golden?”
He laughed, and took the bottle from me, taking a swig himself before handing it over to Hazen, who passed it back to me without drinking any, his dark eyes watchful.
“They’re dazed because you don’t have your ‘back the fuck off’ sign on today. You’re not golden.”
I was relieved, but frustratingly, all of the tension I had acquired over the last few seconds remained, and I took another, deeper swig of the wine. It was my first drink as an adult, though children in the Read empire were generally given small cups of wine with dinner from the age of sixteen onwards.
“What time is it?”
“You have two hours.” Hazen answered automatically.
I paused, the bottle halfway raised to my mouth again, something in my brain clicking together.
“How long have you known?” I asked, aware that my tone sounded accusatory.
“The whole time.”
I looked over at Cale, who grimaced, and looked a little guilty.
“How much do you know?” I amended, looking back to Hazen.
“Honestly, your thoughts are a mess, they have been almost incomprehensible the last two days. But I gathered that something is supposed to happen when you turn eighteen, and you want to be around me, incase you lose control.”
Now it was my turn to grimace, “does that make me selfish?”
“You weren’t thinking about yourself, you were worried about the damage you could do.”
“Yeah,” I mocked, “I’m a regular saint.”
I took another large swallow and almost spit it all over Cale when Kaylee approached us and slipped her arm through Hazen’s, planting a kiss on his cheek and winking over at Cale. She was wearing one of the ‘swoop necklines’ that Rose had tried in vain to get me to wear, and my eyes were irrevocably drawn to the flesh that spilled out, even as she finally recognised me.
“What the hell is the synfee doing here?”
“Getting drunk, apparently.” Answered Kai, the other blond elven girl that generally hung around their group.
I tipped the bottle to her in a mocking salute, and then went right back to drinking, turning my back to ignore them both. In truth, I wanted to skip off and disappear somewhere, but I didn’t dare wander too far from Hazen. And then I realised… what if he wanted to sneak off somewhere? The memory of Hazen up against the building with Kaylee draped all over him flashed through my mind, and I accidentally choked on my wine. I heard a laugh behind me, and I had the disturbing impression that it had been Hazen himself, and while I was momentarily tempted to turn around, just to see what he looked like when he laughed, the need to escape was stronger.
“I’m going to wander around for a while.” I whispered to Cale, already stepping away from them.
He turned and slipped his arm through mine easily.
“Alright, little synfee, let’s take a turn through the garden.”
We threaded through people, with me clutching my wine bottle possessively to my chest, and skipped down the stairs into the lit garden beyond, which seemed to stretch on for yards. Cale didn’t seem inclined to talk as he usually did, and we walked in silence, me preoccupied with my wine, and him with…
“What’s the matter?” I asked.
“You’re friend is following us.” He said, casting a glance behind us, his expression—as I was only now realising—was strained, worried even.
“What friend?”
“The one who walked you home the other night.”
I froze, and Cale looked down at me, alarmed.
“We have to go back to the party.” I whispered, already turning back the way we had come, and pulling Cale behind me, cursing myself for not remembering earlier that the whole point of this party was to be surrounded by people.
Of course, what my wine-muddled mind was apparently overlooking was the fact that someone following us, naturally would have been behind us to start with, and when the beautiful man stepped into our path, I could only freeze again.
“Hello, Bea,” he said politely. “Fancy seeing you here, and tonight, of all nights.”
Feeling the panic get a better hold of me than I had of it, I could only whimper, and Cale’s arm moved around my shoulders protectively, though he didn’t say anything yet, for which I was thankful. Of course, Cale is here, Nareon was either going to get what he wanted with minimal fuss, or he’d get what he wanted, and throw aside anyone that stood in his way in the process.
Clearing my throat, I forced my tone to sound as composed as I could manage.
“Nareon, this is my friend Cale, Cale this is Nareon.”
“Also a friend,” Nareon supplied, stepping lightly forward to offer his hand.
Cale’s answering smile was as easy as ever, and he shook the other man’s hand. Unfortunately, Nareon wasn’t going to play as nice, and his eyes fell upon me, his fae glamor in place, though those grey eyes were still inhumanly beautiful, even when they dropped to my lips and a thrill so intense ran through me that I was surprised I didn’t whimper again, or faint.
“I see your cut healed, I’ll have to be careful not to be so rough next time.”
That was where he had made his mistake, and the very comment that was meant to send me over the edge, was the only thing that that kept me composed in that moment.
“I see.” Was all I said, because abruptly, I did see.
For some reason, he wanted me to lose control. His eyes narrowed, and the flash of anger that swept over his face was so obvious, I couldn’t help the small twinge of answering victory. It was short-lived, however, as his compulsion swept over me then, and my legs really did buckle this time.
“God.” I gasped, placing the wine bottle down carefully beside me, though my hands were now shaking terribly.
“Bea? What the hell was that?” Cale was beside me in an instant, turning my face up to his, “talk to me, please.”
Instead of answering him, I looked past him, feeling the compulsion double, though for the moment, it was only holding me where I was. Nareon himself seemed to have disappeared. Cale gave me a good shake, and I turned back to him, trying to blink away the sudden haze that slipped over my vision.
As much as I hate to see these h
umans touching you, you have to kiss him now. The other one is watching, it’s just what you need, to get you past that last barrier.
Nareon’s voice in my head was as soft as it was when he spoke aloud, and my body immediately ached to do exactly as he ordered me, though my mind was suddenly screaming in protest. Cale’s eyes widened, and I realised that I was crying, but the compulsion was too strong, and with a gasp of pain, I pushed myself the rest of the way to close the space between us, pressing my mouth to his. His reaction was shocked at first, but that disappeared quickly, and when he kissed me back, I tasted his energy, just as I had with Nareon. And it was just as heady. But the darkness in my mind was steadily growing, and I was becoming powerless to hold it back any longer. The sudden flash of lightning, which was immediately accompanied by the sound of close, ripping thunder, had Cale lurching away. His eyes turned upward, horrified, before flying back to me.
“Oh no.” He said.
The compulsion left me completely then, and I fell back to the ground, completely exhausted, and barely even conscious, leaving me with the impression that Nareon had used much more than he had previously.
“Hazen.” I whispered.
“I’m here.” Answered Hazen, though I hadn’t realised he had approached, and I felt his touch, sliding around the back of my neck.
I turned my head, catching sight of one of his legs, kneeling beside me, and I managed to uncurl myself enough that when I fell, it was into him, and my arms were able to wind around his neck. I clung to him then, as the trembles wracked through me, and he gathered me carefully into his arms, one of his hands running soothingly down my back as the darkness slowly receded from my mind. It took a lot longer than it had the first time, and when I finally blinked back into reality, the first thing I saw was Cale. He looked completely torn apart, but when he caught me watching him, his expression melted into something neutral.
“Don’t look at me like that, little synfee. It was just a little compulsion festival. Nareon turned a crippling force on you, and you turned an equally crippling force on me.”
“I’m so sorry.” I whispered, not even sure who I was talking to, as I carefully loosened my desperate grasp on Hazen, and slid awkwardly off his lap.
“Save the apologies for later, it isn’t even midnight yet.” Said Hazen, his gaze carefully avoiding me.
“Dammit. I’m golden now too, aren’t I?”
Cale chuckled, though the sound was a little strained, “that’s one way to put it.”
“It went away last time, but I don’t know how long it will take this time.”
“The real question is, what was that all about?” asked Hazen, looking briefly at me before his gaze flicked quickly to Cale.
I also looked at Cale, who seemed to know what it was that I wanted to know, before I even asked.
“He’s gone, I don’t sense him around anymore.”
“I think he wanted me to drop my glamor.”
“And how did that happen, exactly?” Cale asked.
“Desire,” I answered, feeling numb as I repeated Nareon’s words to them, “synfees feed off desire.”
Cale grimaced, and pushed a hand through his hair, “guess that explains the rest of it then.”
“But why didn’t he just kiss you himself? It’s not exactly a hard task, and he’s done it before, apparently.” Hazen pushed to his feet, and looked down at me, apparently deep in thought.
“He lost control last time. I don’t think he was expecting my power to match his own.”
“Well, I suppose we can be grateful that I didn’t bust your lip then.” Cale said sarcastically.
I looked around until I saw the wine bottle behind me, and then I grabbed it, pushing to my feet.
“We need to go back to the party, there’s a reason he was all the way out here, I don’t think he’ll bother me if we’re surrounded by people.”
Cale nodded and turned to stalk back, his shoulders set in agitation, while I looked down at Rose’s beautiful dress, hoping that I hadn’t somehow ruined it. It seemed to be fine, and I passed a hand through my hair, trying to tame it back to perfection until the little flower pins that she had stuck everywhere began to hinder my progress.
“Here.” Hazen stepped forward, and scooped a section of hair from my shoulder, where it had fallen out of its holder, and deftly re-pinned it,
I expected him to step back straight away and avoid eye-contact, but his hand slid from my temple to my cheek, the backs of his knuckles sliding across my cheekbone as looked down at me.
“I wish I knew which feelings were mine.” He said softly, as his thumb dragged across my lower lip.
He was staring at my lips as though it had been him kissing me before instead of Cale, and then something dawned on me.
“Do you feel everything he’s feeling, while you’re sharing his mind?”
His eyes seemed to darken, and his hand dropped.
“Yes.”
I felt his desire then, as he stared at me, warring with feelings of his own, and the answering monster in me stirred to life.
“Oh crap.” I groaned, watching his fists clench, and a muscle begin to tick in the side of his neck, the only sign that he was resisting.
“You need to stop that, Bea, before I lose it.”
I wanted to tell him that it wasn’t that simple, that as soon as I felt his desire, it was only a downward spiral from there, but I was already getting distracted by the heat in his dark eyes, and the answering burn that pushed me forward, until I was almost touching him. He didn’t move away, and despite the pain I saw momentarily flash through his eyes, his hand slipped around my waist, pulling me closer, until my body was sliding against his. And then his hand moved higher, tracing the curve of my spine and burying into the hair at the base of my skull, tilting my head up to his.
“Stop it, Bea.” He repeated, his voice firm despite how tightly he pressed me to him.
“Would it be so bad?” I found myself saying.
He growled, and strangely, I felt his desire suddenly increase, so much so that when it swept through me, it made me dizzy, but still he didn’t kiss me, and when he spoke, his words were ground out through gritted teeth.
“If you still want me to kiss you when all of this is over tomorrow, then you can look at me like that. Not now. Not like this.”
It must have been his display of strength that had me finally concentrating, because I highly doubted that it was my own. I closed my eyes, and immediately opened my mind to the connection, grappling with trying to stop everything else from seeping through along with the small sliver of power. It didn’t quite cool my desire, but it took the urgent edge off, and made me feel very much in control again.
“You’re doing it,” Hazen sounded surprised, “your glamor is returning.”
“Tell me when it’s done.”
It was a few moments later when he finally answered, and as he did, his arms fell away from me, and I took a hasty, embarrassed step backwards, my eyes finally opening again as I closed off the connection.
“Let’s get back, before Nareon returns and blows up all the hard work I just did.” It was a terrible joke, and he didn’t look too amused by it, but he turned obligingly all the same, and I fell into step for the silent walk back.
Almost as soon as we re-entered the party, Kaylee flew toward us and launched herself on Hazen, a display that was undoubtedly meant for me. And yet, I couldn’t seem to look away. Until I remembered that Hazen could read my mind, and then I quickly jerked my head in the other direction, and began my search for Cale. I found him at a table, with one fae girl draped over his lap, and another sitting on the table in front of him, pouring wine into his mouth from the bottle. Deciding not to disturb him, I quickly replaced my old bottle with a new one, and moved back inside, where I found a somewhat hidden nook behind a statue of an angel, where I could curl up on the ledge of the statue’s base, and be mostly hidden behind the arch of its wings. I had no idea what the time was, but it had
to be getting close now, and I decided that maybe if I was unconscious for the transition, then I wouldn’t even notice a change, and I wouldn’t accidentally flatten the whole kingdom somehow. And with that thought in mind, I quickly polished off the whole bottle, and then sweet-talked an unexpected servant into fetching me another. I was halfway through that one too, when Hazen suddenly appeared in front of me.
“It’s time,” he said, “can you open your connection, even when you’re inside?”
I nodded, not trusting my words, and he cast a dubious eye over the bottle of wine clutched in my hand, before reaching out and basically plucking me from my hidey-hole, setting me on my feet and winding an arm about my waist as he steered me toward the staircase. The room he took me to was several painful stories up, and it took a long time for me to navigate the stairs, as I refused to let him carry me. There were two guards stationed at the top of the staircase, and another two outside the door, which they unlocked to admit us.
Cale was waiting for us already, and turned an amused eye on me as Hazen let me flop onto a nearby chaise.
“Such synfee grace.” He teased.
I poked my tongue out at him.
“Five minutes,” Hazen interrupted, “is he near, Cale?”
Cale shook his head, “haven’t felt anything yet.”
“I don’t feel so good,” I muttered, all of the fuzziness that had so far been coating the world in my drunken stupor, now dissolving.
I sat up, blinking in a suddenly clear vision, and then groaned, doubling over and almost falling off the chair. Cale raced over to me, catching me a second before I slumped to the floor, and pushing me back onto the chaise.
“Are you going to throw up or something?”
“Not… drunk… anymore.” I managed, through gasps of pain.
Hazen moved over then as well, muttering, “and so it begins.”
The pain was incredible, and didn’t seem to be centralised anywhere, but the whole time, I had one thought to cling to, which seemed to give me just the strength I needed to push through each burst of blinding pain. This pain was only affecting me, and in fact, it was so consuming, that it drove everything else away, even the darkness. I thought that I might even be happy, if I wasn’t half sure that this pain might just kill me, because at least it wasn’t killing anyone else. But soon, even those thoughts were driven away, and the pain became so intense that I felt myself slipping. Slipping as though my mind may just detach itself completely, to be free of this terrible agony, or perhaps I was slipping into death after all. I shouldn’t have felt relieved, but I was only now beginning to understand why that boy had committed suicide. And that was when I heard the soft-as-silk caress of Nareon’s voice in my head.
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