“I’m positive he’s infatuated with me—in love with me—but I’ve told him over and over that I don’t share his feelings. I don’t know what to do. I want to remain friends, but the last time we spoke, well, screamed, he said some nasty things and I was a little mean. I think I hurt his feelings. I feel terrible.”
“Maggie, I never think it’s good to be mean, and I seriously doubt you were, but sometimes you have to make it painfully clear so the other person can move on. A clean and complete break, I always say.”
“And if he never forgives me?”
“I’ll be honest, he may not. If you’ve wounded his pride he may resent you, but you can’t worry about that. Let him go—let him heal. If you don’t share his feelings, you’ve done what you needed to do.”
“He was so mad, Grandma, he broke his hand punching a Jeep.”
She rolled her eyes and nodded. “Oh, dear. Well, you don’t need to worry about that. Men do some pretty stupid things for love. Sounds like Doug is no different.”
“But he broke his hand.”
“Child, did you want him to leave you alone?”
“Yes. It’s best.”
“Well, sometimes it takes a little pain to wake ‘em up. The truth is, hands heal and so do broken hearts. He’s young. He’ll be fine.”
“Grandma, what happens if I’m in love with someone and I know we can’t be together—am I stupid for wanting it to happen anyway?”
“Oh I don’t think so. You’re not stupid. Are we talking about Gavin now?” She smiled at me.
My mouth dropped open. “How in the world do you know about Gavin? You’ve never even met him.”
“Your Mom has, honey. She told me. She told me he was so beautiful it was uncanny. Said he moved away and you were devastated. I’m so sorry.”
“Do you believe in soul mates?”
Concern transformed her face. “I’m so sorry, this is quite serious isn’t it?” She paused and exhaled. “I do believe in soul mates, but Maggie, finding a true soul mate is rare. People misuse that term.”
I felt a little ornery. “Are you and grandpa soul mates?”
“This may sound hypocritical, especially after what I just said, but I believe we are. What we have is special. Now, he infuriates me to no end at times, and I know I do the same to him, but in the end I know that we’re meant to be together, in this life and afterward.”
I felt warmth in my chest. “When did you know?”
A large smile slowly formed on her face as she thought. “Back in college, the first time we argued politics in general sociology—I knew then. He was so beautiful, so passionate about his views, about life, but I didn’t want to admit it at the time. Oh, he made me so angry, but I couldn’t stop thinking about him.” She stared out the window and smiled.
“Did he know, too?”
“Oh no, he despised me. I won all the arguments, and don’t let him tell you otherwise!” She laughed. “Then one night we happened to be in the same place on campus when I was playing guitar and singing with my friends. He couldn’t take his eyes off me—not that I complained. He was a hunk.”
I smiled at the thought of Grandpa staring at her all those years ago, and my mind went back to Doug.
What she said made sense to me, and it confirmed what I felt in my gut. I loved Gavin even though it had been almost a year since I’d seen him. Cutting Doug loose was painful, but I had to be honest with him.
Lately I’d been forced to lie about so many things that the truth seemed like a luxury I couldn’t afford. But that was in my control, my decision, and I’d made the right one. I didn’t want to hurt Doug, but Grandma was right, and I’d finally been honest with him. How he handled it was up to him.
“Are you better now?” Her voice was kind and reassuring.
“I think so. I hope you get to meet Gavin some day.”
“I suspect I will. If you love him, fight for him.”
***
Grandma was right about Doug. He’d given the silent treatment his best shot, and failed…in less than twelve hours. He called and left a dozen messages, but I tried to remain strong, for his sake, and not give in. If for no other reason, I needed to keep him off the Weald. If it became clear to Cassandra and the Unseelie that I didn’t want to be around him anymore, they’d probably leave him alone. Or at least that’s what I hoped.
Doug wasn’t at swim practice that night, and he wasn’t waiting for me when I went to the parking lot to leave. It was a relief. When I got home, however, I felt my blood pressure spike at the sight of his Jeep parked at the garden wall. He was sitting in the living room with my parents, trying to avoid Grandpa’s icy cold stares.
He stood up when I came into the room and smiled. I wanted to smile back, but maintained my emotionless expression.
“Can we talk, please?” he asked.
“I made it clear, Douglas, I’m through talking.”
Mom and Dad got up, and Grandma and Grandpa joined them in the keeping room.
“Havana,” Doug began.
“Don’t call…”
He interrupted me. “Stop. I was wrong. I was awful and I’m going to leave you alone, but I just can’t do it that way…the way we left things.”
“Let’s go outside,” I said.
He closed the door behind himself and followed me to the table overlooking the lake.
“Havan…Maggie. I don’t expect you to forgive me for saying those awful things to you, but I’d like for you to try. Please, forgive me. I don’t know what’s gotten into me, and I’ll understand if you…if you don’t want to see me again, but please…reconsider. I am so sorry.”
He was pleading and it made me weak, but I fought to maintain my nerve.
“Can you please forgive me for saying those things?” he begged.
“Doug, listen, I forgave you the minute you said them.”
“You did?”
“Yes, I did, but I’m not finished. You were right. I haven’t been honest with you about my feelings, and…” I drew in a quick breath and exhaled, “…and I’ve known for months that I should have been. I’ve been selfish, wanting to keep you in my life, even if that meant I couldn’t give you what you wanted.”
“No, it’s okay. Give it time, like you always say. I can give you more time, all the time in the world.”
“Doug, that’s the problem. That was the lie. I know in my heart we’ll never be more than friends. I’ve known it all along. You’re beautiful, smart, funny, and you deserve someone who’ll love you back.”
He stared across the lake. “So where does that leave us?”
“For the time being, and maybe for a long time, I need you…well…to leave me alone.” My voice cracked and I felt the first tear fall. “I don’t want to hurt you, and if you keep seeing me, that’s all that’ll happen. Please, will you leave me alone…and stop punching things?”
“I will.”
“I’m so sorry you broke your hand.” I looked down at his fists. There was no cast, no bruising, nothing. He saw me staring and put his hands in his jacket pockets.
“Why aren’t you wearing a cast?”
“I didn’t break it after all.”
“Uhhh, bull. That’s complete bull, Doug. Everyone said you broke it. What’s going on?”
He shook his head and turned red. “I, uh, it wasn’t anything.”
“Now who’s lying?”
“Fine, someone fixed it for me. And don’t ask—I don’t know how.”
“Cassandra?” I asked caustically.
His face turned beet red, and his voice grew defensive when he answered, “She took the cast off and my hand was fine.”
“Doug, you have to stay away from her. She’s not who she appears to be and she’s very dangerous. Promise me you’ll stay away from her.”
He looked at me and shook his head. “Unbelievable. You kicked me to the curb, told me to go to hell, and you think you have a right to tell me who to date?”
“Doug, she’s
dangerous. Trust me.”
He grabbed my arm and pulled me around to face him. I could have flung him into the woods, but I didn’t.
“How about you stop with the crap, Maggie. If you and I aren’t a thing, then you have no say in that part of my life. I’ll see anyone I like.”
“Not on my land, you won’t. She works here, for me. Stay away from her. I don’t want you on the Weald ever again. I’ll call the police if I find you here, got it?”
He rolled his eyes. “Fine, you want it to end this way between us, so be it. I won’t see her here, but it’s none of your freaking business if I see her elsewhere.”
“Mr. Monroe, please tell me that my eyes are deceiving me,” my dad said from the front door, “Tell me that you don’t have your hands on my daughter.” He cracked his knuckles and began walking toward us. I yanked my arm free and ran to my father, putting my hands against his chest.
“No, Dad, it’s nothing. He’s just leaving…and he’s not coming back.”
“You’re damn right he’s not coming back. Now get the hell out of here before I do something we will both regret.”
Doug began walking back toward the Jeep.
“Faster, you little peckerwood,” my dad barked.
Doug sprinted across the garden and jumped the garden wall.
EIGHTEEN
COURAGE
“I’m a rock!” At least that’s what I kept telling myself each time a pang of guilt had me wanting to call Doug. My internal voice agreed, saying, Let him go, he’s better off, each time the rock comment didn’t work. Both voices were right, of course—he’d be better off if I acted like I loathed him. Cassandra would surely lose interest, right?
Determined to stick to my guns as I cruised down the curvy highway to the Garden Bistro, I tried to prepare for the onslaught I was about to face. Rachel insisted I meet her for lunch. It was obvious by the high-pitched tenor of her voice, and her too-sweet-to-be-true coaxing, I was about to get grilled over Doug. She’d seen the spat, and Candace had probably told her about Dad’s threats to tear him apart. Rachel always had the same tone when she talked about Doug.
Crossing Main Street, I didn’t see her on the patio among the tables of tourists hiding from the bright sun under the white tent awnings. She and Ronnie sat in a table in the back of the restaurant, plotting. His toothy grin was another clue. Great, she brought back-up along.
“Doesn’t this bread remind you of Aunt May’s?” she asked, as I took a seat next to her. She remained the most diligent of my inner circle about the secret “Fae” code, I thought, as I shook my head signaling the all clear.
“Okay, what’s up guys?”
Rachel looked around me, staring out the French doors.
“I said we’re safe…”
“No…it’s not that. I’m just waiting on Candace.”
I exhaled loudly, drawing her attention. “Candace, too?”
Ronnie stared at me, nodding. “Uh huh.”
Five minutes dragged silently by before Candace strutted into the restaurant. “Sorry, I had to park down the street…there’s a massive gray whale taking up three spots in the parking lot,” she said, shooting Ronnie a playful look.
“Oh, she had to walk…why didn’t you just slide that Miata into your purse next to the smart ass pills?” he said, pushing his lower lip out.
She grabbed a handful of his black hair and gently pulled his head back, kissing him on the forehead. “Or you could just learn how to park.”
“Nah, pissing you off is far more entertaining,” he said, embracing her.
“Okay,” I said as Candace slid into a chair next to him, “What have I done this time.”
Rachel turned red and glanced at Candace, who said, “Oh no, don’t look at me, I’m just here for moral support. This is all you, girl.”
“Rachel?”
Her bright pink face turned darker until she looked like a tomato. “Maggie…”
“Yes?”
“I want to talk about Doug…”
How did I know? I’m a rock!
“Listen,” I said softly, “he’s better off this way. You know…the whole clean break thing. He’ll move on.”
With a quick, shallow exhale, Rachel shifted her weight and twirled a strand her brown hair. “Is he being…you know…affected? By them? Like they did with Candace? Cause if they are, I don’t think they’ll stop…”
So now she’s an expert on the Fae.
“And how in the world would you know that, exactly?” I asked.
Rachel didn’t back down like I expected. Her face was redder than I’d ever seen it, but she appeared completely determined.
“I know because of you, Maggie. I know because you told us they always get revenge. If he’s being…affected, then we should do something about it.”
“We?”
“Well…you and Billy. But we’re here for support.”
“Me and Billy?”
“Don’t be that way! I’m not dumb, Maggie…you haven’t answered my question. Are they changing him?”
Three sets of eyes trained on me. Most of the time, it was great having them as confidants. Then wasn’t one of those times.
“You’re doin’ it again,” Rachel said forcefully. “You’re hiding the truth. I’m really gettin’ kinda sick of it…”
Her sudden burst of courage made me smile. I liked her that way.
“No, Rach, I’m not…not exactly. Well, not anymore. The word you’re looking for is compelled. And I don’t know…it’s possible he’s been compelled, at least to some degree.”
Not even bothering to smile after squeezing the truth from me, she pressed on. “Possible? I’ve known him since he was four. He’s not the same—this isn’t him. Screaming at you in a parking lot, putting his hands on you…we have to do something about it.”
“I have. We’re no longer friends and it’s killing me. They’re trying to use him to get to me, don’t you see? If we’re not friends, he’ll be safe. I’m making that impossible.”
“No you’re not,” she said. “You weren’t friends with Rhonda, and they nearly killed her. Besides that, I know you still care for him, and if I know, so do they.”
“It would be so much easier for him if I weren’t in the picture…”
She reached across the table and grabbed my hand. “That’s not true and you know it. It’s not fair, either. You gave the three of us the choice. You forced Billy to give us the choice. We knew how dangerous it would be when we said yes—Doug doesn’t know anything except that you seem to hate him now—and that he’s turned into some freaking jerk. Don’t you think that’s killing him? Don’t you owe him the same choice—the opportunity to decide for himself? If you were in his shoes, I know you would want it. He’s your friend, and you owe him the truth.”
Crap.
She was right. I would want to know. If I had been in their shoes, I’d have made the same decision they did, and I knew Doug would, too. She was guilting me and doing a first class job. It always made me angry when the Fae told me only what they thought I should know, what they thought I could handle. I was doing exactly the same thing to him. If he was being compelled, I owed it to him to put an end to it. Who knew Rachel would turn into my conscience?
“You’re right,” I whispered. I closed my eyes and clenched the hair on both sides of my head.
Telling Doug meant I had to ask Billy for help, and that would make him angry. A vision of his angry, disappointed face flashed through my thoughts, and I felt nauseated. If Cassandra was compelling Doug, it made matters worse.
“What’s wrong?” Candace asked.
I kept my eyes closed. “If Doug is being compelled, and Billy un-compels him…”
“She’ll know?” Candace whispered.
I nodded. “He’ll be in even more danger.”
“I hate them,” Rachel seethed.
“I feel so weak, so pathetically weak and helpless. Can Billy protect him?” Ronnie asked.
“S
he’s nearly half a million years old…much older and more powerful than Billy,” I said.
“Can you protect him?” Rachel asked.
“She’s far more powerful than I am…right now, at least. And if I interfere directly…”
Candace squeezed my forearm and I finally opened my eyes. “Mitch?”
“Yes,” I said, getting emotional.
“I hate them!” Rachel growled. “What about Sara?”
I shook my head. “She’s more powerful, but she can’t know that you are aware of the Fae, and she certainly can’t know that Doug is. She’s on our side, but the Council knows everything she knows.”
Rachel’s fingers slipped off mine and she balled her hands into fists, staring out the window.
“She doesn’t have to know, does she?” Ronnie asked.
Candace stared at him, the corners of her mouth pulling up in a slight smile. “What are you thinking?”
“Well, what if Billy fixes Doug like he did with Rhonda, but he doesn’t tell Doug about the Fae. Rhonda doesn’t even know Billy fixed her, right?”
Candace nodded her head, smiling more broadly.
“What? What would that do?” I asked.
Rachel shook her head. “If Doug doesn’t know about the Fae, or if Billy can teach him to hide it, like we can, then Sara can protect him and she’d never know. That doesn’t change the fact that he deserves the truth.”
“Rachel’s right. Besides, you had weeks to practice and you haven’t been exposed to twenty-four hour surveillance. It sucks. Trust me. Hiding the images in your mind, carrying on like normal is nearly impossible and it takes a lot of practice,” I said.
“Well, what if Billy compels Doug to hide the images? Can’t he just give him a boost or something?” Ronnie asked.
“I hadn’t thought of that.” I said.
Ronnie leaned back, crossed his arms, and seemed exceptionally proud of himself.
“That’s a great idea. I’m ashamed I didn’t think of it first,” Candace said.
In an exaggerated flourish, Ronnie wove his fingers together behind his head and crossed his legs. “Yep, leave it to the man.”
“Uhhck…” Candace said, rolling her eyes. “You didn’t really just say that.”
Weald Fae 02 - The Changeling Page 18
