“Jesus, baby. It’s really you.” His mouth crashes onto mine and I try to pull away, turn my head, escape this madman. He’s too strong. The crazy man grabs my face and forces me to look at him. Silver eyes. Not my nightmare eyes. Not Ryder’s eyes.
“Let me go asshole! Get your hands off me!” I shout, struggling with all my might to get away. I’m hoping one of my neighbors will hear me yelling and call the police. If only I could get to my phone, but I left it to charge in my bedroom.
With the man’s hands on my face, his arms are no longer crushing me, and my lungs are able to expand enough for me to take a deep breath.
“Liz, it’s really you,” he repeats as he forces my face closer and kisses me again, his hand cupping my ass and lifting me to my toes.
The shock of everything that has happened finally wears off and I’m able to think clearly again. I bite his tongue hard, the metallic taste of blood fresh on my lips. I bring my knee up and it’s like hitting granite. Fuck! That hurt. My knee throbs because I missed my target. I was aiming for his nuts but kneed him in his thigh instead.
His hand touches his mouth, wiping a dribble of blood from his bottom lip. “Liz, what the hell’s wrong with you?”
After months of PT, once I was strong enough, Daniel and Drew insisted I take self-defense classes. It’s hard to recall the things I learned. What am I supposed to do? Stomp down on his foot or kick at his knee and drop down? Going on instinct and adrenaline, I curl my hand into a loose fist and strike. Either this guy saw it coming or his reflexes are lightning quick. He dodges my right fist aimed for his nose but doesn’t see my left open palm fly upward under his chin. His head snaps up and back. While he’s momentarily stunned, I shove him away from me and run for the front door which is broken and hanging on two hinges. I take a second to look over my shoulder to see if the crazy man is coming after me, and as soon as I turn back around, I slam into something. Hard.
Ryder.
I jump into his arms and hold on tight. Why? I have no idea. Some innate instinct that he’ll protect me and keep me safe. “Help me,” I beg him.
Ryder’s arms bind around me protectively. “Jay, what the fuck are you doing?”
The mad intruder stalks forward. I grip my arms tighter around Ryder’s neck. “Please, help me,” I plead.
Someone else comes around Ryder’s side and I scream. Ryder jumps but doesn’t lose his grip on me. How the hell did the intruder get outside so quickly? Wait. How did he change clothes? Am I having another blackout episode? Is any of this real?
The doppelganger looks at me with an expression so full of emotion, it makes me tighten my hold on Ryder even more. He brushes a hand down my hair in a soft caress, then pushes inside my apartment to force his other self away from me. Wait. There are two of them. Same faces and height, but different people. The new guy has shorter hair, his body leaner, but still packed with muscle. He and the other, more menacing version of himself yell at each other, exchanging shoves and curses.
“Both of you, knock it off!” Ryder commands them. Another guy barges in past me and Ryder, forcing his way between the intruder and his clone.
“You’re safe, Elizabeth. Nobody’s going to hurt you,” Ryder’s deep voice promises me. My body trembles and shakes, coming down from the high of fight or flight. I drop my head onto his shoulder and just breathe him in. A calm comes over me. I nod into his shoulder, letting him know I heard him and believe him. He’ll keep me safe.
One of my neighbors opens their front door and a male voice yells out, “Shut the hell up or else I’m calling the police!” then slams his door closed. I’ll have to remember not to rely on him if I’m ever in trouble again. Asshole.
“Elizabeth. Can I come inside?” I tense again in Ryder’s arms. “I promise, you’re safe. No one will hurt you. We can keep the door open,” he tries to reassure me, letting me know that I’m not trapped.
I nod my head against his shoulder. “Don’t let go.”
“Never.”
“Okay.”
“Liz. Baby. Please. Look at me,” the mad intruder pleads.
“Jay, sit your ass down right now and shut the fuck up,” his doppelganger snarls at him while pushing him down to sit on my sofa. “Give her a damn minute. I can’t believe you broke down her fucking door.”
The mad intruder tries to stand up but gets shoved back down again. “I said sit down.”
The fourth guy comes to stand with the doppelganger and places a hand on top of—what did doppelganger call him?—Jay’s shoulder.
Ryder sits down on the floor, bringing me with him. “Elizabeth, I know things must be confusing for you right now. It’s the same for us. You act like you don’t know any of us. We’ve been searching for you for over a year.”
“I…I didn’t know. I don’t remember.” I turn in Ryder’s arms to look at the other guys. “I don’t know who any of you are. I don’t remember.” All four men’s eyes widen in disbelief and what looks like pain.
The doppelganger sits beside his look-alike and leans forward. He places a hand on his look-alike’s knee and squeezes. “Liz, what do you remember?” doppelganger asks me.
I refuse to answer. I don’t know these guys, and right now, I’m scared out of my mind.
Ryder gently turns my chin with his finger so our eyes meet, and I get lost in the warmth of the golden brown color of his eyes. A snapshot of one of the memories from earlier clicks into place.
“You make me happy, Ryder.”
I find myself telling him, “I remember waking up. I was in a coma.”
“We know,” Ryder speaks softly to me. “But you just disappeared. We were with you almost every day when you were in the hospital. And then you just vanished.”
I hesitate once more before answering, “I was in Seattle.”
“How? Who took you?” the guy Ryder called Jay asks me, his face hard and threatening.
“Look, I don’t know you. I don’t know any of you. How do I know I can trust you?”
Ryder takes out his phone. Showing me what he’s doing, he opens a folder called Elizabeth and clicks on a thumbnail. A picture with me in it pops up. I’m standing with him next to a black Dodge Challenger Hellcat, his arm around me, my arm around his waist. His head is tipped back in laughter and I’m smiling up at him. We look happy. I drag my fingers down the screen, trying to infuse the image into my being.
“That looks just like mine,” I remark.
“What does?”
“The car. Mine is red.”
Ryder pulls back, shock on his face. “The red Hellcat parked outside is yours?”
A small grin tips my mouth when I think about my car. “Yep.”
“I’ll be damned.”
“Liz,” the doppelganger says to get my attention. “Do you remember me at all?” I shake my head no. “I’m Julien.” As he’s speaking to me, I’m swiping from one picture to the next on Ryder’s phone. I stop on one.
“Is this us?” I show him the picture.
“How can you tell?”
“The hair.” I keep swiping. I come to one of me on a swing. A huge tree is behind me and so is the mad intruder, Jay. I hold it out. “And this is you?”
“Yes.” He tries to get up once more, but Julien holds him in place.
I look at the fourth guy. “And who are you?”
“Elijah,” he simple states.
I turn back to Ryder. “You said today you’ve known me since you were nine.”
He reaches over and pushes a lock of my hair behind my ear. Jay growls, yes, fucking growls, but doesn’t move from the sofa this time. “We met in third grade. You’ve known Jay and Jules longer. You guys have been best friends since you were all six. We lived on the same street, Fallen Brook Drive. We all grew up together.”
“You were my girlfriend, Liz,” Jay interrupts, his tone angry. Now it’s his turn to show me pictures from his phone. Because Julien hasn’t released his hold on Jay, Elijah takes the phone and hands it to me.
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I don’t know how long I sit there looking at pictures. There are hundreds. Some of me alone. Some of me with Ryder, Julien, and Jay. Most are of me and Jay. Intimate ones. Us kissing. Us holding each other. Selfies of us snuggled in bed. I ask Julien to see his phone. His has as many pictures of me as it does of him and Elijah. Oh. They’re a couple, I realize.
“You guys make a cute couple,” I comment to Julien.
“Liz.” Jay again. “Please sweetheart. I’m dying here. I need to hold you. Can I please hold you?”
“Why?”
Why would I let this crazy-assed man who kicked my door in and scared the crap out of me, touch me? I know what I see in the pictures. I see years of me and him together as a couple. But right now? I feel nothing. He’s a stranger to me. He’s the scary guy who barged into my home uninvited and unwelcomed.
“What the hell do you mean why?”
“Jay, chill,” Julien warns him.
“No.” This time he does get up, throwing Julien’s hold off. “Liz, you’re the love of my life. We were supposed to get married. Start a family. Have a life together. I’ve been dead for a year missing you. Wanting you. Desperately trying to find you. Don’t you understand any of that? You love me! We’re supposed to be together!”
A spark ignites inside of me. It grows and burns until it’s a raging inferno. It drives me to take no shit from this guy. Eighteen years of my life is an empty void, but I won’t allow him to bully me into feeling something that I can’t just because of things that once were. Things I don’t fucking remember.
“Listen, asshole. I don’t have to understand anything. I’m sorry if that upsets you. I’m sorry if my nonexistent memory causes problems for you. But I don’t give a shit! I’m the one who can’t fucking remember. You can’t barge into my home, into my life, and demand I feel something that doesn’t exist for me! Screw you! I may have been your girlfriend before, but I am not now. Jesus, I don’t even know who I am!”
Ryder grabs my arm to pull me back. I stop, realizing I’m in Jay’s face shoving at his chest. Once I notice tears in his eyes, I’m almost ashamed of how I reacted. Almost.
“I’m sorry,” I concede. “I know this must be hard on all of you, too. From the pictures you showed me, I get that we were close and meant a lot to each other. I can’t imagine how you all must feel. But please understand how this is for me. This entire situation is very confusing and frightening. I don’t know any of you. You’re all strangers to me.”
“I think we should all sit down and talk. Why don’t we order some pizzas and sit down and talk, yeah?” Julien suggests.
My first reaction is to tell them hell, no, and to get the fuck out of my apartment. But my curiosity is piqued. I would like some answers, and I feel safe enough with Ryder here with me. “Yeah, okay,” I reply. “First, I need to call Drew and Daniel.”
“Who the hell are Drew and Daniel?” Jay snaps.
“Jay,” Julien interrupts his look-alike. “Help me fix her door since you broke it. You still have that toolbox in your truck?” Before Jay can answer, Julien grabs his arm and literally manhandles him out the door. I take a step away as they pass, still wary.
There’s an awkward silence in the room after they leave, but it gives me enough time to regroup and steady my nerves.
“It’s so good to see you, Liz,” Elijah says to me, breaking the quiet. “If you won’t bite my head off, I would really like a hug. I’ve missed you.” He gives me a half-tip grin that has me wanting to grin in return, but I don’t.
“Okay. It’s weird since I don’t know you…well, I don’t remember you. But okay.” He opens his arms and I leave Ryder’s side to walk to Elijah. He envelops me with a gentle hug, full of warmth. His hug is quick but solid.
I hesitate, unsure of what to do. Ryder gives me a tender look of understanding. “Give me a minute. I’ll be back. Make yourselves at home, I guess,” I tell them as I walk to my bedroom.
Once inside my room, I close and lock the door behind me. Holy shit, I think, feeling completely overwhelmed. I count backward from five to one and repeat the sequence until my hands no longer shake. I remind myself of the promise I made not to run the next time I saw Ryder. Well, he’s here. Okay, Elizabeth, you can do this. I grab my phone from the bedside table and call Drew and Daniel to let them know I’ll video them later. They will flip their shit if they find out what happened to my front door. Guess I won’t tell them that part then. I’ll keep my conversation short so I can get back out to Ryder and the other three guys. Guys I grew up with who were my friends. I’m still not sure how to handle the angry guy who insists I was his girlfriend, though. Fuck my new life.
Chapter 4
Jayson
Julien’s cursing me out as we walk to my truck. “You need to calm the fuck down. Didn’t you see how badly you scared the shit out of her? What the hell, Jay? You broke down her damn door. She’s been through enough. She doesn’t remember us. Things are clearly a big fucked-up mess and you aren’t making things easier for anyone, especially her. We need to find out what happened this past year. Can you just shut the hell up for once and listen?”
Funny that I heard the last part of what he said because I hadn’t been listening to him at all. All I can think is Liz wouldn’t let me hold her. My fists clench. She’s mine. Not his. Not Ryder’s. Mine. And she doesn’t remember us. She doesn’t remember our first kiss and every kiss thereafter. The first time we made love and every time thereafter. The first time I told her I loved her and every time thereafter. Every promise we made to one another. All our next times. Every bit of it. It never existed for her. It doesn’t mean a goddamn thing because she doesn’t fucking remember.
“Here.” I shove my toolbox into Julien’s hands and stomp back toward her apartment.
“Hold on, Jay. We need to talk first.”
“No. I need to get back to Liz.”
“Shit, Jay. Stop.” He turns around.
“You don’t understand.”
“Then help me understand.”
I deserve to suffer, I want to tell him. Suffer for what I did to Liz that night. I don’t deserve her forgiveness. I don’t deserve a second chance. But I’ve always been a selfish bastard when it comes to her. I don’t tell my brother any of this.
“The last words I said to her were ‘get out.’ I kicked her out of our house. And for what? For protecting you. For standing by you when you needed someone. For being your friend. What happened to her is on me. It’s my fault, Julien. I need to make it up to her. She needs to know how sorry I am. I will never love anyone else the way I love her. She’s my everything. And I almost got her killed. I didn’t protect her. I wasn’t there to save Ann, John, or Hailey.” I sink down on my haunches in the middle of the parking lot. “What happened to Liz is all my fault.”
“If we’re going to play the blame game, you have to submit my name as well.” Julien stands beside me, his hand resting on my shoulder. I grab it and hold tight. “I could have stopped her from driving off. I didn’t fight hard enough to get her to stay. If she stayed, she would have been with us the entire night. She wouldn’t have gone home. She wouldn’t have been attacked. You’re not the only one drowning in a cesspool of guilt.”
I look at my twin. We are so alike yet so different. I guess we all have our own demons we fight.
Julien reverses our grip and helps me up from my crouched position. “Come on. Let’s fix her door, eat some pizza, and spend time with our girl. She’s here. She’s alive. She’s a fucking sight for sore eyes.”
Yes she is. “She looks good, doesn’t she? But what’s with the hair?”
“I like it. I think her pink streaks are sexy. I wonder what else has changed this past year.”
“Her left hook.” I touch my chin where she hit me. “She clocked me good before you guys showed up. Missed crushing my balls by inches. She has changed. We have a fighter on our hands.”
“She’s always been a fighter,” Julien replies somberly.
“How do I get her back, Jules, if she doesn’t remember?”
“Honestly? I have no clue. I wouldn’t push her right now. We need answers as much as she does. It’s going to take time. We don’t know how severe her amnesia is or how much she does or doesn’t remember. Like I said. Time and patience. But at least she’s here. We got her and I will make damn sure we don’t lose her ever again.”
I couldn’t agree more. No matter what, I will get the love of my life back. She’s not the only fighter in our group.
“…and CU allowed me to defer since I was already accepted. So here I am.”
When Jules and I finish fixing her door so it hangs right and closes properly, the pizzas arrive. Liz has been answering all the questions we’ve asked her. Little by little, we learn more about her past year in Seattle.
“How long were you in the coma?” Elijah asks her before rolling his pizza slice like a burrito and biting it in half.
Liz licks grease off her fingers. “About two months.”
“You’re shittin’ me. Seriously?”
She nods at Elijah. “They told me the swelling in my brain was what caused it. Daniel and Drew placed me in an excellent rehab facility. The staff were wonderful to me. I did all my outpatient with them too, so I got to know many of the doctors and nurses.”
“Other than memory loss, was there anything else?” This from Julien.
“Yes,” is all she says, not elaborating. She peels a slice of pepperoni from her pizza and sucks on it. Fucking hell. My dick reacts and I tamp the fucker down.
“If you were in a medical rehab facility, why couldn’t our PI find you?” This asked by me.
Liz shifts uncomfortably in her seat. “More than likely because of Daniel and Drew. They kept me in a private facility under a false name for my protection. They’ve been really good to me.”
Paper Stars Rewritten: Fallen Brook Series: Book 2 Page 4
