The bigger picture was not my concern. That would indeed be sticking my nose where it didn’t belong.
“Nukes are a little above our game, aren’t they?” Gio stated.
I couldn’t have agreed more, and if this really was about damn nukes, then this whole thing really was starting to become a sort of déjà vu of seven years ago.
“I don’t give a shit about nukes. Yes, damn straight, it’s out of our game. It’s right out of the ball park, but they tagged us and pulled us right in.”
“So, what do we do?” Dante asked, raising his brows. “Warn the government?” He chuckled.
“We dig a little deeper. Cora, focus on the nukes. What info can you find out?” I didn’t know how she would be able to link any association between Barabbas and the nukes.
“I can find out everything.” She smiled.
“Everything?”
“Yeah, pretty much. Once I know what to focus on, there’s nothing I can’t hack into to get the intel I want.” She looked proud of herself. I knew she was a very resourceful woman to have. Also dangerous depending on what side she worked for. She seemed to me to be the type that didn’t care for loyalties; just whoever filled her pockets the deepest.
“Okay, do whatever it is you do.”
My phone rang, and I stood up and answered straight away.
It was number seven from the secret squad.
“Boss, we have intel that Barabbas has a meeting set up in a guest house at Four Peaks Quarry. It’s at six.”
“I know the place.” Good, a lead. “Good work. Get back to me if you get anything else.”
“Sure thing.”
When he hung up, I turned back to Pa and the guys. Cora gave me a curious look.
“Plan for today. We stay here for the next few hours helping Cora. More hands, less work, then we head to Four Peaks Quarry.”
Finally, a real plan.
Chapter 25
Ava
* * *
“These sheets smell of jasmine and freesia,” Gigi bubbled. She carried a stack of pink and purple bedsheets with little flowers embroidered against the silk. Her face brightened as she looked at me. On a different day, I might have looked more cheerful. Especially since those were my favorite colors and the pattern had that boho chic edge I loved.
I was at Luc and Amelia’s place. Claudius had brought me here very early this morning.
Amelia offered a supportive smile.
The two had come to check on me, probably because I’d been up here in this room all day.
I hadn’t eaten much either. In actual fact, I’d barely eaten anything at all. A nibble at a bread roll here and there was not a meal. I should know. I was a chef.
“Thank you.” I got up from the chair at the window and attempted at pleasantry.
Gigi put the sheets down on the bed. “I’m gonna make cookies. Chocolate chip with the gooey center, and we can watch a chick flick fest while the guys are busy.”
“That sounds great. Thanks.” I was really trying. Trying to hold it together and act like I was fine when inside I was worried sick about Claudius.
He hadn’t called me all day, and when I’d called him, his phone had gone to his voicemail. Nice.
While Gigi bounced away with a skip in her step, Amelia moved over to the bed and sat on the edge. I walked around and sat too, twisting so I could face her.
“Gigi’s always like that,” Amelia stated, bringing her graceful hands together.
You could tell from her every movement that she was a dancer. Apart from the fact that she was incredibly beautiful, she reminded me of one of those ballerina figurines on a jewelry box.
I’d taken an instant liking to her weeks ago when we first met, and I liked her even more for brushing aside the embarrassing first meeting we had.
All the time we’d talked that day, she and Luc fascinated me. It was the fact that Luc got married to a woman like her, had a son, and did something he was good at.
The difference in Luc was evident. It was also clear that the reason for that difference was the woman who sat before me.
“Cheerful?” I offered, realizing I was just staring and thinking.
“Yeah, it’s her way. I hate it sometimes, but really, you need people like that to keep the balance, or you will go crazy. For sure.” She chuckled, and her light brown eyes sparkled.
“My best friend, Kelly, is like that.” Kelly wasn’t as eccentric as Gigi, but she had her moments. The minute I got here this morning, Gigi had presented me with a pouch of protection crystals that she said she’d blessed personally. It was all much to Claudius’ irritation.
Kelly would have made food. She’d make cookies, a little like Gigi was doing now.
“How are you holding up, Ava?” Amelia asked.
I was glad she didn’t ask me if I was okay.
I shook my head because I didn’t know what to say.
“Well, from here you look like you’re about to implode. I’m all ears if you want to talk.”
Talk.
Boy, did I ever want to talk, but I didn’t know what I wanted to say, or if I could say what I did think of saying to her.
The attack at the restaurant had been awful. Awful enough to make me head for the hills.
A third was coming. I didn’t know what it was, but it was coming.
I was safe here, supposedly, but I kind of questioned that.
Luc was tending to his bonsai trees in the green house with his friends, Amelia was a ballet teacher, and then there was Gigi. A witch.
If I’d told Kelly all that when she’d called to check on me earlier, I was pretty certain she’d tell me I’d be safer with her grandmother who was a nurse in WWII.
But if Claudius thought I’d be safe here with his family, I trusted him.
Claudius…
God. I just wished I knew where he was and what he was doing.
Why won’t he speak to me?
“He’ll leave me when this is over. I think. I think Claudius will leave me.” Must have been my heart taking over my mind again because I didn’t even register what I’d said until it was too late.
“Did he say that?” Amelia looked me over with concern.
“Pretty much. He thinks it’s not safe for me to be around him.” What he’d said last night pretty much summed up what would happen next. Plus, he didn’t need to say much. I knew him. I knew what he thought. I knew what his actions would be.
“What will you do if that happens?”
It was an odd question, but I liked the tact she showed.
“I don’t know,” I replied with an edge to my voice.
“What do you want to do?”
I wanted to do what I always wanted to do, and that was to be with him. “Sometimes what we want isn’t the right thing.”
I could have been killed yesterday. Or at the very least taken. I could have been taken again and used as some… I don’t even know. Something, anything to make an example out of me.
“That’s very true. But often people confuse it. They confuse it with right and wrong and never look at the middle ground in between. That slight give where there are possibilities. Possibilities and opportunities that could be molded into something else. Something you wouldn’t see if you simply thought of what you wanted as right or wrong.”
I was listening. She definitely got my attention.
“How? How do you get that middle ground when everything just feels like a disaster waiting to happen?”
“You look at what you want outside of what’s happening to you. Take it apart.”
I didn’t exactly think our situations were similar, but there were some similarities. Claudius had given me some background on Amelia. He didn’t go into much depth, but he told me that she was Raphael Rossi’s daughter.
So, sure, I had questions, maybe too personal to ask.
“When you met Luc, did you know about his past?” There, I’d said it and was surprised that she laughed.
“A
va, when I met Luc, he was a mobster,” she informed me, grabbing my attention further. She sighed, but she was still smiling. “I guess maybe he was the kind of guy I absolutely did not want to end up with because, as you must know, Raphael Rossi, the old boss, was my father. I was a cop, and Luc was a mobster.”
Okay… now I was shocked to the core.
Amelia used to be a cop.
Claudius did not tell me that part, probably because he hated cops. I knew that much. It was a pretty big thing to leave out though. That his sister-in-law used to be one.
That was the first shock, but as I looked at her, I couldn’t help but really look at her. I was never one to judge or anything like that, but she didn’t look like cop material at all. We were practically the same size. Petite. And she was really dainty like.
She laughed again. “You’re looking at me like I’m nuts.”
“No, I’m just shocked. I …” I caught myself before my foot could continue living in my mouth. “I mean surprised.”
“It’s a very long story, which I’m sure I’ll tell you soon.”
Despair tugged at my heart as everything that had happened flicked through my mind like one of those flick books. Actually, it all felt just like that, and now I was at the end seeing the full picture.
“I have a long story too.” I nodded. “Did Luc… did he change for you?”
“At first, that was what he wanted to do, and of course, that blew me away. Completely. But then I realized very quickly that if he changed for me, he wouldn’t be the same guy. That change wouldn’t be real. There would be some part of him that would miss his old life, and the risk there was that eventually, he could blame me for taking it away from him. I didn’t want that because to me, it wouldn’t be fair.”
That made a lot of sense. It did, and she was right. It was like trying to look a certain way to please someone else. That wouldn’t be being true to yourself at all.
“So, what happened?”
“He changed for himself first.” She lifted her shoulders slightly.
“What if he hadn’t changed?” That was the important question for me. “What if your life was waiting for him every day wondering if he was dead or alive, or if he was going around killing people?” Now, I was spilling my heart.
“Luc was never like that, and neither is Claudius. It’s important you understand that. I know there are some really bad crime families, but don’t expect mindless killing from either of those guys.”
In my mind’s eye, I kept seeing Claudius shooting those guys. The first guy who’d held a gun to me. He would have taken me away. The other guys had fired shots at Claudius. Did I expect him to just stand there and be shot? Or wait to be killed? That was stupid.
Amelia straightened and continued. “Luc and Claudius aren’t the same, but they’re both the best guys I know. Luc promised me once that he’d always do the right thing. He promised me that he would do that. Doing the right thing may seem wrong in other people’s eyes, but it’s having the ability to make a judgment call when you need to. So, in answer to your question, if Luc hadn’t changed, if he were still in the business, yes, I would still be with him. That’s me. There was… no one else for me. I chose him.”
“Thank you. Thanks for sharing that with me.”
“Anytime. I guess we’re similar in some sort of way. So, if I can help, let me know.”
“I wonder if it would always be like this?”
“I don’t think it’s the case of it being always like this, but when there’s trouble, it’s big. My father was a mafia boss, and for seventeen years, I knew nothing about the business. He kept my mother and me out of the picture. My mom, of course, knew what my father did for a living and mostly, they made it work. I’m certain there would have been things happening behind the scene, but it’s unpredictable. I can’t sugarcoat that. Even now, for me, I have to accept that while Luc may not be involved anymore, trouble will sometimes come knocking on our door.”
“Like me.” I chuckled and pressed my lips together.
“No.” The corners of her lips arched. “Not like you. I mean like whatever’s going on. So, hey, I’m not completely out of the woods, but I knew I wouldn’t be. It’s not okay, but I deal with whatever I have to. But that’s life in general.”
Talking helped.
The tension that had taken up residence in my forehead seemed to loosen. However, I was still there on square one.
Talking led me right back to where I’d been. With that question on my mind.
What do I want?
Claudius was right. His motives were completely correct and equal to that of someone who was showing their love for me.
Me being here was protection. Him out there sorting out whatever it was to sort out was protection too. Then what if he did sort it all out and left me? Then I’d have a somewhat normal life. Time would pass. Another seven years. Another ten maybe, and maybe time would lessen the sting of love.
It didn’t before though. In ten years, I’d loved exactly one person. One man.
He said loving him would get me killed.
Being without him, though, felt like the same thing.
So, what did I choose?
* * *
Claudius
* * *
“This is fucking torture,” Dante muttered under his breath.
I agreed, but I didn’t say anything. We’d gotten to Four Peaks Quarry over an hour ago so we could be ready for six. It was six thirty now. That meeting should have taken place half an hour ago.
I just hoped our visit wasn’t for nothing.
I hated stakeouts, and the worst kind of stakeouts were the types when you had too much shit on your mind.
Gio had the audacity to nudge me in my shoulder. I whirled around to face him, snarling.
“What the hell’s wrong with you?”
“You thought we were the rats.” He glared at me.
I could tell he’d had it on his mind. Dante too.
“I don’t want to talk about that.” I frowned and looked away, focusing back on the damn area we were watching. The cabins below us surrounded a lake. In the winter, it would freeze over and have that Christmas card vibe with people ice skating and playing in the snow.
“We go way back, Claudius,” Gio continued. “It was us three before Alex and Jude joined. We were boys before you labelled us The Four.”
I looked back to him and Dante. Dante was on that same old bike he’d had customized a million times. It was one similar to mine.
Gio was more old school and loved something more versatile. Harley’s were definitely him, no modern enhancements. Just old school. They were both as crazy as I was and on any given day we could talk about motorcycles for that whole day. But, I could do the same with Jude and Alex too.
Friends, enemies… sometimes they were the same things. That part wasn’t fair.
“I hate it,” I said, baring my teeth. I couldn’t help the edge that had taken over my existence. There was just too much for one person to deal with. This morning, though, it had become evident that either Alex and/or Jude were fucking working against me.
Fuck.
“What?” Gio shrugged. “Boss, there’re many things you hate. I have a list somewhere. Not on me.”
Dante chuckled. “He hates Mondays because he thinks it’s a Marxist concept, and he hates blue M&M’s because they’re pointless.”
“Stop making fun out of me.” I pointed at them both.
“Or you’ll kill us?” Gio taunted, knowing I wouldn’t. “Come on, tell us what’s the part of the shit that’s going on that you hate. The part about Alex and Jude? Or is it the girl? The girl you’ve been cautious with for the last seven years?”
“You don’t know what happened.” It was stupid of me to state the obvious. Of course, they didn’t know what happened.
“So, enlighten me.”
Dante and Gio had come onto the scenes just before Ava and I had broken up, and they’d never met her until after I
was married to Marissa.
They never saw how I was when I was with Ava.
Alex and Jude had joined the business a few months later, so again got me in the height of my short-lived marriage to Marissa.
I’d never confessed this to anyone, but all four guys helped me in one way or another to cope with losing Ava, then Henry, and yes, even Marissa. Although at that point, I wasn’t sure if one of them had betrayed me. For years, I’d wanted to believe that it couldn’t be that. It was in my nature to be suspicious of everyone, but for them, friends, I didn’t want to believe it. I wanted to believe that somehow, Goliath had found out where Marissa was because he was who he was. Every time, though, my gut told me it wasn’t that.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I snapped.
“You know I got the feeling once, a long time back when we weren’t quite friends yet.” Gio gave me an arrogant smile.
“What feeling was that?”
“About Ava. It was the way you looked at her. You were with her before Marissa, weren’t you?”
I just stared at him. Maybe it wasn’t that hard to figure out. “It’s not important.”
“Why not? We’re up here watching day turn to night. Might as well talk, right?”
“I’m breaking things off with her after this.”
“Why?” Dante asked, narrowing his eyes. “She looks like a girl you could keep. Why in the fuck would you do that? And what would you do? Go back to bar whores?”
They wouldn’t understand. What had happened to me didn’t happen to them. I would never be disrespectful and say their losses weren’t like mine. What I meant was, what happened to me was different because I’d caused it.
That was the big difference. No one could excuse that oh-so-important fact. Sure, Joe Manello got me mixed up with a bastard like Goliath, but I got me in that mess.
When he’d offered me that job, I should have declined it. It was that simple.
“She doesn’t belong in our world. It’s danger in every sense of the word. I had no business bringing her into the darkness again.”
Dirty Hearts: A Bad Bod Mafia Romance Page 20
