by Ivy Asher
I wrap my arms around his neck and snuggle into him, immediately feeling more relaxed than I have in the past twenty-four hours.
“I fucking missed you guys.”
8
I fit myself against Bastien’s neck and breathe him in. Peace and safety dull the panic and anger simmering inside of me, now that I’m surrounded by all of them. Sabin and Valen offer comforting caresses to my legs, and Bastien brushes stray strands of hair from my messy bun away from my face. His hand stills, and I know he’s just spotted the damage to my neck that Marilyn’s magic left behind.
“What the fuck, Bruiser? Who did this to you?”
Bastien lightly pushes against my shoulders, dislodging me from my current snuggling position and looks me over. Valen runs a gentle finger down my neck, and I catch a deep yellow crackle of magic rush across his forearm. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen any of them lose control of their magic. I stare at it, shocked. He takes deep, measured breaths, and his leaking magic stops.
“Ryker, pull over when we’re clear and it’s safe. She needs you,” Valen announces, his thumb grazing my cheek tenderly.
I don’t look for Ryker’s eyes in the rearview mirror, but I can sense them on me. The weight of his stare and the close proximity of all of them makes me feel lighter in a way I haven’t felt since I watched the paladin force them away from me. I twirl a strand of Bastien’s hair around my finger, liking that it’s down and accessible. I stare at the rich cocoa-colored strands wrapped around my finger and release a resigned sigh.
“The elders came to test my magic today.”
I find Sabin’s green eyes, and the hard look he’s wearing softens when our gazes meet.
“It was going great at first. They brought this teacher from the Academy, and he really helped me understand how to separate the different branches of magic in order to recognize them. A couple of hours into the testing, I was able to do things I couldn’t before. I was finally starting to figure out how my magic worked, and it was incredible. It was the first time I didn’t feel like some kind of failure or magic flunky. Then, the instructor attacked me.”
Valen pulls me from Bastien’s lap onto his own. He runs the palms of his hands up my arms, and Sabin and Bastien twine their fingers in each of my hands.
“I don’t care if they’re our elders. This is bullshit. They yank her from Lachlan’s house because she’s unsafe, and then they allow this to happen to her!” Knox growls from the front seat.
Tension wafts from all of them, and somehow it allows me to let go of some of my own; I purge it on a long exhale.
“Well, I stabbed Paladin Ender, told the elders to fuck off, and magically strangled one of them to prove a point.”
The car falls into silence, the hum of the tires on the pavement the only sound brave enough to fill the car. Sabin, of all people, breaks the uncertain quiet when he starts to laugh. Slowly laughter fills the car as the other guys join in, and before I know, it everyone is howling. I don’t personally think it’s as funny as they clearly do, but their mirth is undeniably contagious, and a couple of wayward chuckles make their way out of my mouth.
“By the stars, Bruiser, the craziest shit happens around you! What did Paladin Ender do when you stabbed him?” Bastien asks, his hazel eyes filled with humor, and the corner of his lips tip up in a smile.
“Surprisingly, he seemed more impressed than mad. He helped clear the way for this little getaway here, so I don’t think he’s harboring any resentment. I doubt Elder Balfour will be so forgiving though. I’m pretty sure I’m now on his shit list.”
“Is that who you strangled?” Sabin asks me, and I nod.
“You didn’t do anything that most of us haven’t been dreaming about for years. He’s a prick,” Knox admits, and starts to crack up again. “I just wish I could’ve been there to see his face when he learned not to fuck with our girl.”
The car slows, and Ryker pulls off onto a barely visible dirt road. Everyone in the car starts to bounce and sway as we make our way down a pitted uneven path. He drives through a small clearing and stops next to a cluster of trees. As soon as I climb out of the back seat, Ryker grabs me and starts running his hands and sky-blue eyes all over me, assessing my injuries. He presses his hands against my neck, and they heat up as his magic begins to drive away the pain and the damage.
When he’s done, he places gentle kisses everywhere there was a bruise, and I close my eyes and lean into him.
“I missed you, Squeaks,” he whispers against my ear.
His breath against my skin makes me shiver, and I wrap my arms around his waist, pulling him tighter into me. A caress moves across my shoulder, and I look over to find Knox, his gaze filled with concern.
“Are you okay?”
He steps closer to me, and I look up into his deep gray eyes. I slowly shake my head no.
“It was awful. One minute we were all together, and the next they’re shoving you roughly out the door. What do we do if they deny your claim? I’m pretty sure they are pushing for something between me and Enoch’s coven. Although, who knows what’s going to happen now that I’ve attacked one of them and gone AWOL. Fuck, are they going to try and bind my magic?”
Knox wraps me up in a tight hug and holds me that way for a couple of minutes. My panic slowly subsides, chased away by the reassuring contact. When he pulls back, he cups my face and leans in to give me a sweet kiss. His lips pull away from mine, and I find myself tilting toward him, not wanting the kiss to end. His chest rumbles against mine with amusement.
“Killer, do you really think any of us would let that happen?”
I’m pulled away from him and wrapped up in another set of strong arms. Each of my Chosen takes their turn to hold me, all of us needing the physical reminder that we’re okay and together. I feel instantly comforted and protected, and once again so grateful that in all this mess, I at least have them.
Knox’s statement echoes in my head, but I’m struggling to find the comfort that I know he’s trying to provide. What if they can’t stop the elders from doing what they want? We’re all just being tossed around at other peoples’ whims and going with the fucked up flow of that, but when does it stop? At what point do we draw a line in the sand and say, no more?
I brush off the niggling concern and instead focus on everything we need to sort out so that we can be together. A place to live, where we’re all safe and free, seems to be the biggest obstacle. I try to picture what it would be like to have a place of our own, but I don’t let my mind wander too much into that daydream. Reality is, I won’t be able to have any of that until I can get free of the elders' claim.
How am I going to survive three years until my awakening? Three more years of restrictions, rules, and being manipulated into staying away from my Chosen. I’m struggling to accept another three days without doing the things to them I want to do. I’m aware that my sudden urgency for deeper physical connection is an undeniable side effect of their bodies currently being pressed up against mine, as we console and reassure each other. Just their presence all around me is making me rethink the whole group sex caveat I mentioned before.
Down girl! This is not the time or the place for that shit!
I have to stop myself from scoping out our surroundings in search of a good place to lay down and encourage things to go further. Their call to me has always been strong, but after I marked them, there seems to be an extra dose of urgent desire. If it weren’t for all the crazy shit that always seems to be happening around me, I would be pushing much harder to introduce their body parts to mine.
“Vinna, I know it probably seems even harder to accept after what just happened, but it’s going to be okay. We have every right to submit a claim, and the elders should take that seriously. But, if for whatever reason they decide to fuck around, we’ll just move on to plan B,” Valen tells me, his smile sweet and his words confident.
“What’s plan B?”
“We run. Just until you have your awake
ning. After that, there’s nothing they can really do to force you into anything you don’t want,” Sabin explains.
I run my hands over my face in exhausted frustration. “Fuck.”
Valen kisses the top of my head. “I don’t think it will come to that. But I don’t want you to think that we’re not considering our options, too.”
“But how is that even an option? You guys have your last year as conscripts starting in two weeks. You can’t just walk out on that. You’ve been working most of your lives to be paladin.”
“None of us are saying that would be an easy choice to make, but we’ve all talked about it, and if it comes to that, then it comes to that,” Ryker states, giving me a small smile.
I look at each of them in turn. The twins have their wavy dark-chocolate hair down today, and it frames their full lips and sable-lashed, hazel eyes. Ryker’s smile is sweet, caring, and it makes his bright-sunny-day-blue eyes, all the more beautiful. Knox stands like the Sentinel he’ll soon become. His tall, chiseled body ready for anything and his rainstorm-gray eyes radiating his happy-go-lucky attitude. And Sabin, tattoos climbing up one arm, perfectly styled hair, and forest-green eyes that are the windows to an old soul with a tender heart. There’s no doubt or hesitancy in any of their eyes. I only find acceptance and calm resolve.
“I don’t know if I’m worth this. I don’t say that because I’m fishing for reassurance or an ego boost, but I don’t know if you guys are really thinking this through. I mean, just look what I’ve done to your family already.” I look at the twins. “I’ve destroyed everything you grew up having in just over a month. If we ever bind together, I’m basically handing over a death sentence. My world is fucked up, and that’s what’s going to happen to your world, too, if we all stay together. You can see it happening already; the power plays from the casters, the attacks from the lamia. I’m condemning all of you to that, forever!”
“Vinna stop. Right now, stop.” Sabin steps up to me, and Valen moves over to make room for him. “You didn’t ruin or destroy anything. Lachlan and his coven, they did that. They fucked everything up for their own selfish, deluded reasons. That wasn’t you. You have no control over the actions and choices that other people make, for good, or for bad.”
Sabin’s forest-green eyes are imploring. They plead with me to see the world the way he does, but I don’t know if I can.
“I killed Talon, Sabin. If it weren’t for me, my mom, dad, Bastien and Valen’s mom and dad, their whole coven, Talon, and who the fuck knows how many others, would be alive.”
Sabin snorts, and the odd reaction makes me pause.
“Well, now you’re just getting a bit full of yourself there, Vinna. I knew you thought pretty highly of yourself before, and rightfully so. I mean we all think the sun and moon rise and set with you. But this god complex you’ve got going! Whew, it’s impressive. And to think, you once accused me of having a big ego. Well, now I can chalk that up to projection.”
Sabin’s features stay serious, but he gets the slightest twinkle in his eyes. An amused scoff escapes me, and I shake my head at him. He laces his fingers behind my neck and pulls me ever so close to him, his lips just barely out of reach unless I stand on my tiptoes.
“Fucked up shit happens. It’s not your fault or your responsibility. You can only take credit for your own thoughts and actions. You have no right to try and claim anybody else's.” He gestures to the others. “You can claim us, because we give ourselves freely, but our thoughts and our actions are still our own, just like yours are.”
His eyebrows rise, and the question in his gaze is clear. I nod my head in understanding and let what he just said soak into me.
“Now, if you ever try to convince us again that you’re not worth it, there’s going to be trouble. So, remember that the next time things fall to shit, and they will because that’s life. And, all of us are more than okay with that.”
Sabin leans into me and claims my mouth. His kiss is demanding and intense and everything I need right now. His lips tell me things my soul can only understand from this kind of communication. All the words in the world about acceptance, desire, belonging, fall short of the way Sabin’s lips communicate those sentiments to mine. It’s in the flick and twine of his tongue against mine, the way he gives and takes what we both need. He consumes me and allows himself to be consumed, and it’s a kiss I never want to end or forget. It’s the moment that my doubts about where I stand with Sabin, or how to move forward, burn away to nothing.
9
Our kiss slows, but neither of us seem in a hurry to put a stop to the makeout session that’s currently going on out here in the middle of the woods, in front of the rest of the guys. We languidly pull apart, and Sabin’s eyes dart back and forth between mine. He finds whatever he’s looking for and gives a slight nod before unlacing his hands from behind my neck and stepping back.
This whole showing affection in front of each other thing is still fairly new. So, I’m not really sure what to expect when Sabin steps out of my immediate line of sight, and I can once again see the others. None of them look like what just happened was too big of a deal. Smiles and some heated looks stare back at me, and I mentally tear up the no group sex rule into tiny little pieces and then set it on fire. I’ll have some fun sorting out the logistics of how I want that to work, but I’m confident my dirty mind is up for the task.
“So, uh...what’s going on with the house hunt?” I ask, attempting to focus on something else, other than the image of all of us naked and fucking over by the grouping of trees to my left. “I hope you guys fired Lucy Barton.”
“Yeah, she swore up and down that she didn’t say a word to the elders about our looking for a property, but someone in her office did. We hired a new guy this morning, and he’s already sent over some options,” Ryker tells me, handing me his phone.
I start scrolling through the listings of houses he’s pulled up.
“Your Jeep is in the shop. They should be done with it sometime today, so I’ll make sure they drop it off to Enoch’s house for you,” Sabin tells me, with a small sweet smile that does a good job of hiding the dominating sexy caster I know is lurking just under the surface.
I grumble and throw my head back. “I was really hoping I wouldn’t have to go back there,” I whine, my chin falling to my chest in frustrated defeat.
Sighs and chuckles sound off at my antics. Bastien flicks his knuckle under my chin playfully, and I lift my eyes up to meet his.
His hazel eyes sparkle with affection and his eyebrows tilt down over them making his features serious.
“Trust me, we all want you with us. But until we buy a house, bringing you back to Lachlan’s is not an option,” Bastien reminds me.
“We’d happily get you situated at one of our family’s houses, but the elders have anticipated that. Elder Nypan and Elder Albrecht made the rounds and had a chat with all of our home covens. Our families are aware of what’s going on, and they are not going to aid or ignore any defiance of the elders’ orders,” Knox tells me, gesturing to Ryker and Sabin.
Fuck. What must their families think of me, of this whole fucked up situation? I am so used to not having anyone who would care about what I’m up to, that I forget that’s not the case with these guys. Silva seemed really laid back and lenient when it came to the twins, but I know Sabin is close with his family. I realize that I never asked Ryker or Knox about their home situation or their families. I seriously suck at this whole relationship thing already.
“I saw Aydin,” I announce randomly.
“What the fuck did he want?” Knox grumbles.
“To apologize. Again. He told me that he and Evrin left the coven. Is that true?”
Eyes drop away from mine, and several of them rub their temples or the backs of their necks. I once again feel like shit for my part in showing up and wrecking their happy lives.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
“Don’t, Vinna; you have nothing to be sorry for,” Val
en tells me sternly.
“This isn’t your fault. The way Lachlan has been the past month or so is very different from the caster we grew up with. I mean we knew that Vaughn’s disappearance fucked him up. I know I’d never recover if I lost Valen, but what he’s doing with you makes no sense. No one seems to be able to make him understand that. Who knows what his fucking problem is.”
Bastien’s eyes are filled with so much sorrow and confusion, and I wrap my arms around him, wishing I could somehow chase it all away.
“I think every time he looks at me, all he can see is what he’s lost, and not what he could gain. Maybe my being here just opens all his wounds over and over again. I don’t know.”
Bastien’s words about how horrible it would be to lose Valen make me ache. I can’t even imagine how devastating that would be. I try to put myself in Lachlan’s shoes; what would I do in his place? How would I feel and act? I want to think I wouldn’t be mistrustful or cold, but I can’t say that with complete certainty. It’s a fucked up situation, and unfortunately, there’s no getting around it.
Valen trails his hand down my arm and links his fingers with mine. “Things at the house are pretty tense right now. There was a huge blow up when everyone got back after the meeting with the elders. A lot of pretty awful things were said by everyone, and now we’re all just quietly trying to avoid each other. Aydin and Evrin moved out. Silva has been keeping to himself, and Lachlan and Keegan seem more determined than ever to figure out what happened to Vaughn and the other paladin,” he explains.
“Lachlan now knows everything that we do, from what Talon told you, and he’s working on some new potential leads. We’re steering clear of him, from all of it. We’ve been staying at either Sabin’s or Knox and Ryker’s house until we can find something more permanent,” Bastien adds. “See anything you like?”
