His mistake in sleeping through the alarm had been compounded by having the battle to get Gracie through the nursery door in Summer’s presence. It was bad enough leaving other people to do most of the caring for his daughter when he was working, without anyone witnessing his epic parenting fail. Summer in particular was always offering advice on how he could best manage Gracie’s challenging behaviour, as though she knew her better than he did.
Okay, she was acting in the best interests of his little girl and on some level he was grateful for the one-on-one attention she was receiving in day-care with regard to her extra needs. However, times such as this succeeded in making him feel guiltier than ever about his workload and the possibility he was neglecting her in any capacity.
It was absurd, of course. Graciela was his life, his reason for being, but he found it difficult to trust again or rely on anyone other than himself to do right by her. Christina’s sudden departure had impacted on every area of his life and he’d had to employ the help of his young neighbour, Mags, to babysit whilst he’d tried to make permanent day-care arrangements. They’d used her before without any problems on the rare occasion he and Christina had gone out as a couple for the evening. One emergency late-night call-out had changed everything.
Although it had been last minute, Mags had agreed to mind Gracie overnight while he went to the hospital to perform emergency surgery on a car-crash victim. He’d thought his daughter would be safe in her own home with someone he knew and trusted. Mags had never offered him a true account or explanation of what had happened that night but from what he’d gathered, the lure of a party in the neighbourhood had proved too great to resist. She’d left Gracie alone and his baby’s cries had been heard and reported to the police by other concerned neighbours.
He’d been confronted at work by police and child protection services as though he’d been the one to abandon her. Even when a tearful Mags had confessed what she’d done, Rafael had been subjected to interrogation and suspicion by social workers to the point he’d taken leave from his job to prove his devotion to his daughter.
Eventually he’d had to return and put some level of faith in agency childminders since they had the relevant checks and qualifications. However, that overwhelming feeling of guilt for what had happened, or what could have happened, had never left him. Even then, he hadn’t been able to shake the notion the efficient, professional women who’d enabled him to return hadn’t cared for Gracie much beyond their pay checks. Not the way Summer did.
Graciela had flourished since coming to the island and it would take time to come to terms with not being her sole source of support. He was thankful that there was someone who could reach her where others had failed but he was wary of their developing bond. Simply because it was drawing him closer to Summer too and that wasn’t somewhere he should be when he was supposed to be concentrating on his daughter.
He’d been hurt too much to risk another entanglement and though his head reminded him of that at every given opportunity, his senses and his body were more easily led astray. It was difficult to keep that security wall in place when Summer kept breaching it with a look or a touch and the sweet scent of her perfume that smelled like candy.
In any other circumstances he would have welcomed someone else’s devotion to his daughter but he hadn’t let anyone get close to them since his wife had broken their hearts. He’d always been attracted to strong, independent women and Summer wasn’t afraid to challenge him when necessary but he would never be distracted again when it came to Gracie’s welfare.
The way Summer was already so integrated into their lives was unnerving but Gracie had never responded so well to a female influence. Not even her own mother. Christina had been hurt by her refusal to interact with her at an early age, had taken it personally when it had merely been a symptom of her condition. She’d been embarrassed when their baby had failed to reach the milestones of others her age. In the end she’d simply told Rafael she wasn’t cut out for motherhood or marriage and had gone back to the single, carefree life she’d apparently missed so much.
The irony was that he’d been able to get the help and advice needed to aid Gracie after she’d gone. Christina had been in denial that her baby could be anything other than perfect, when Rafael had known all along there had been something wrong. Once he’d been able to get a diagnosis so they knew what they were dealing with, it had been easier to cope. If Christina had hung around she would’ve watched her child reach all those milestones, if slightly later than her peers.
It hadn’t made life as a single parent any easier to have a daughter with special needs and there certainly wasn’t room for a Christina replacement. He couldn’t trust anyone not to hurt Gracie again.
Miss Ryan had to remain a mere bystander when it came to his family. Otherwise he was doomed to repeat the past and the opportunity to come to Maple Island would have been wasted. He hadn’t relocated here for anything other than the stability it offered Gracie. Bringing another woman into their home wasn’t going to achieve that, only offer more possibilities of heartache when she decided Gracie was too much reality for a pretty young blonde to handle.
Rafael had had his time of putting his wants first when he’d left his family behind in Spain to come and study medicine in America. Unlike his parents, he wanted what was best for his child, not necessarily what was more acceptable for them. That selfishness and all the other negative family connotations he’d turned his back on could stay in the Mediterranean as far as he was concerned.
Rafael’s mood hadn’t improved at all by the afternoon. As usual he’d had a busy morning catching up on the day’s schedule, meeting the team at the facility to discuss the status of their patients and prioritise his cases depending on the urgency of their conditions.
One of the reasons he’d relocated to the clinic had been the hope it would be less demanding on his time, making more room for Gracie, with fewer emergencies coming in at all hours of the night when they were primarily a rehabilitation facility.
However, his caseload was always full, dealing with back-related conditions that required surgical intervention. The clinic’s reputation, combined with the privacy and beautiful surroundings provided by the location, made it the ideal hiding place for the rich and famous wishing to recuperate away from the glare of the spotlight and the paparazzi.
He understood that mind-set to some extent. Unknown to his fellow islanders, he was a bit of a celebrity in his own right. In Spain, at least. The eldest son of a duke attracted more attention than he’d ever been comfortable with, and though he’d been glad to leave that cosseted lifestyle behind to come to America and study anonymously, it had caused a huge fallout with his family, but he didn’t regret the sacrifice he’d made when it meant he and Gracie retained their privacy.
The majority of Rafael’s clients here tended to be sports stars keen to recover from injury as quickly and quietly as possible and the on-site rehab facilities provided everything they needed post-surgery.
He didn’t follow American sports himself but even he’d heard of Tom Horner, the ex-football star turned commentator, who was here for a lumbar discectomy to relieve his sciatica pain. The procedure Rafael was carrying out today was to remove the herniated portion of the lumbar disc pressing against a nerve.
‘Buenos días, Doc.’ The All-American hero slapped his meaty hand into Rafael’s and shook it vigorously. Even now, in his fifties, the man was a powerhouse, the strength of the handshake alone reverberating through Rafael’s limbs so he dreaded to imagine how much damage a hit from him in his heyday would have caused.
‘Buenas tardes, Señor Horner. Are you all set for your surgery today?’ The surgery unit was still in its infancy at present but sufficient that they could carry out procedures on an outpatient basis. Any major operations were still carried out at their sister hospital, Boston Harbour, and patients were often transferred here for secondary surgeries a
s well as rehabilitation. Sometimes they had a team out from Boston to assist and other times Rafael’s expertise was required back on the mainland and the sharing of skills was working successfully so far.
‘I can’t wait to have it done and get back to normal.’ From his appearance alone no one would be able to tell this man had been in pain for some considerable time. A lot of people tended to look vulnerable sitting in a hospital bed in their gowns, waiting to put their lives literally in the hands of the doctors here. Not Tom Horner. His hulking frame dominated the space, the fabric of the flimsy gown stretched to accommodate him and he was as intimidating a presence as ever.
‘You know you’ll have to take it easy for a while after surgery? We’ll discuss it at length post-op but we need to make sure you avoid any undue strain to keep your spine in proper alignment.’ He knew Tom’s kind, having started out in sports therapy. Sportsmen didn’t make the easiest patients, wanting to shake off injury as soon as possible to get back on their feet and back in the game, often ignoring rehab advice to their detriment.
‘Don’t worry, Doc. I’ve hired a place on the west side of the island where I’m doing nothing but resting up until I’m fighting fit again. As far as anyone knows, I’m on extended vacation and I want to keep it that way.’
‘Of course.’ Although wear and tear on the body was all part of the ageing process, Rafael had treated men and women who saw it as a sign of weakness, almost something to be ashamed about. Whilst it wasn’t his business who his patients did or didn’t tell about their health problems, it was his duty to ensure there was some after-care in place at home. ‘Do you have any family or friends over with you who can help you out during your recuperation?’
He hadn’t seen any evidence of a support system even at the initial consultation in Boston before Tom had followed him out here, over the moon at the prospect of having his treatment in private.
The big man’s cheeks turned pink before he answered. ‘My daughter’s here, fussing around. She insisted on coming with me but as far as the ex-wife is concerned we’re on a father-daughter getaway. Terri can read me better than her mom ever could and knew there was something going on.’ He threw his hands up in exasperation and the fact his daughter had got the better of him made the corners of Rafael’s mouth tilt upwards for the first time that day.
Daughters had that knack of tying their fathers up in knots around their little fingers. Thankfully that bond didn’t break even when the marriage did. At least, not for him. Gracie’s mother hadn’t had any problem abandoning her child but she’d never taken to being a parent the way he had and now he was doing the job for both of them.
The responsibility of motherhood had curbed her nights out when he’d been working and unable to mind their daughter. A baby with special needs had been a step too far for a woman who had still thought and acted like a single twenty-something. It had almost been a relief when she’d ended things because they’d been able to stop pretending she was a wife or a mother. It was entirely Christina’s loss she’d never got to be part of her beautiful daughter’s life, the daughter who’d exceeded all of those damning predictions regarding her development.
He’d made a success of his life without the assistance of his family and at least Gracie had a father who loved her and would do everything he could to ensure she thrived.
‘I’m glad you have someone to make sure you do as you’re told. It will help your recovery.’ The clinic staff would operate, provide medication and follow-up treatment, including physiotherapy, but there were practical things Tom would require at home to smooth the transition from the clinic.
‘Don’t worry, Terri’s at the beach house now, adapting it for the return of the invalid. She even insisted on buying me slip-on loafers for the duration of my stay so I don’t have to bend down to tie my laces.’ The absolute horror on his face that he should be subjected to such an atrocity was comical. Rafael silently wished Terri good luck, hoping she would prove equally as stubborn as her father. She’d probably have to tie him down to prevent him from rushing his recovery.
‘Think yourself fortunate to have someone willing to take care of you. Not everyone does.’ He had a momentary lapse into self-pity, considering his options should he ever find himself in the same situation. There were no loving family members around for him to rely on. It was a sobering and ironic thought that he’d probably have to pay someone to provide that assistance.
If he’d stayed in San Sebastian, as his parents had wanted, and had never left Spain, he would’ve had every medical or child expert available to the eldest son of a duke. Therein had lain the problem. He’d never wanted to remain tied to that lifestyle, living off ancient connections to the royal family and trying to stay relevant by portraying himself like his playboy brother to the paparazzi.
This life of anonymity had suited him better, even though his family had seen his move to the States as a betrayal of his heritage. He hadn’t spoken to them since but as they hadn’t accepted him for who he was, he knew they would never acknowledge Gracie for being different either. She wouldn’t fit into the perfect family they preferred to parade for the cameras, neither would he subject her to those expectations.
He had played along for a while for appearances’ sake but Gracie wouldn’t understand that’s what she was supposed to do and she shouldn’t have to pretend to be someone she wasn’t. It was better for her to be loved for who she was, even if he was the only one in her life able to give her that unconditional love.
Unfortunately, that left him with no next of kin here if anything should happen to him. Tom should appreciate someone caring enough not to back away when he needed them most.
‘Not as fortunate as you, Doc, that’s for sure. Oo-ee!’ Tom’s appreciative whistle was lost on Rafael.
‘Excuse me?’ He cocked his head to one side, waiting for an explanation when he could see no reason why a successful pundit would exhibit the slightest bit of jealousy towards him.
‘Forgive me for speaking out of turn but if I had a wife who looked like yours, she wouldn’t be an ex.’ The bawdy laugh didn’t help unravel the mystery for Rafael, only deepened it. He had no idea how anyone here would know about Christina, but if they were acquainted with her they’d also be aware nursing anyone wasn’t in her DNA. Her job was strictly in medical research and she wasn’t hands on in any way unless she was in a club with her girlfriends in the early hours of the morning and looking for some male attention.
‘I think you must be mistaking me for someone else.’ He decided not to go down that dark alley and dismissed it to concentrate on Tom’s notes.
Unfortunately, Tom wasn’t so easily deterred from whatever it was he thought was going on in Rafael’s life.
‘I saw you this morning with your family when I came in. Beautiful. You’re a very lucky man. We weren’t good together, me and Jess, but I miss having that closeness with someone, you know?’
He didn’t know, staring at him blankly for some time before it dawned on him who his patient was referring to.
‘Oh. Oh!’ An image of him handing over the care of his daughter to Summer in the corridor popped into his head. He supposed to an outsider the mistake was understandable but it did knock the breath out of him that Tom had assumed her to be his wife and Gracie’s mother. Did she really appear so comfortable in either role?
‘Summer’s not my wife, she’s—’ What exactly was she? An employee? A co-worker? None of those titles accurately depicted how significant she’d become in their daily lives yet he couldn’t describe her as a friend either. Not when he was trying so hard to resist having her play a part in his personal life for his own sanity.
There was no discernible line between work and personal matters when Summer’s efforts with his daughter broke through any perceived barriers. He reaped the benefits at home with Gracie’s improved verbal and motor skills apparently honed by the time and energy Summer
had put into working with Gracie.
However, with every achievement she accomplished, guilt took a bigger nibble at his conscience—that if he’d spent that time with her instead he could’ve been the one to further her progress. Except that would have prohibited them from moving to the island, having an income or helping countless people with his surgical skills.
He had to accept some things were out of his control. Including thoughts about Miss Summer Ryan, which seemed to be coming much more frequently and less about educational matters.
Contemplation about her current relationship status, how she was spending her evenings or if she liked him beyond her official capacity were not things he should be concerning himself with if he considered her only in her role at the day-care centre.
He wanted to get to know her but with that came a whole web of complications he couldn’t afford to get caught up in again. Investing emotionally in someone other than his daughter left him vulnerable to another rejection or worse, more heartbreak he could do without when he would still have to get up every morning and carry on for Gracie’s sake.
‘Summer’s my daughter’s nursery teacher,’ he filled in, unwilling to give his patient any further insight into his complicated personal matters. ‘Now, are you clear about what’s going to happen today in surgery?’
‘Could you run it by me again, Doc?’
‘I’m going to make a small incision in your lower back and insert a small tube that will act as a corridor for me to access the herniated disc with minimal tissue disruption to the surrounding area. We’ll use local anaesthetic and some mild sedation so you won’t feel anything.’ Sometimes there could be irritation afterwards caused by the operation itself but once the bone spur or disc material causing the pain was removed, patients usually felt an improvement.
The Baby They Longed For Page 18
