by Karen Nappa
"Oh, baby girl, I'm so sorry." He hugged her tight and rocked her while she cried. "You're not alone now. If I have my way, you'll never be alone again. I'm here to share the bad and the good. Do you believe me?"
Sonja sniffled. "Yes, Sir. I'll try my best to remember."
"You'll remember. I'll see to that." He turned her so he could see her face. "Now that we understand each other and you appreciate the severity of your mistake, we have your punishment to take care of."
"P-punishment? What kind of punishment, Sir?" Sonja had the good sense not to object to the idea of punishment at least. She'd wait and see how he wanted to punish her.
"I think we'll start with a punishment to help you remember how important communication is. I want you to write lines. You will write fifteen times: 'My Dom worries about me and cares for me. I will tell him about what is happening in my life. I will not withhold information because I think it's not important or to keep him from worrying.' It's not that many repetitions, but it's complicated enough to keep you thinking the whole time."
"Yes, Sir. I'll get paper and a pen."
"Not so fast, little girl. First, strip." Sonja hastened to follow his instruction. Writing lines naked seemed somehow sexy. "Good girl. Now get me the largest butt plug you have and the lube. Then you can find the paper and pen." Writing lines while wearing a butt plug, naked—somehow even sexier. She moved quickly. It took her only a couple of minutes to gather the things, and when she got back, she knelt and presented everything to Derek. He accepted the offerings with a quiet "good girl," and had her stand up.
"Turn around and grab your ankles, baby." Sonja sighed and did as she was told. Derek carefully lubed her rim and her asshole before applying a generous amount on the plug itself. He then began to insert it, slowly, back and forth until the final plop, when it seated itself. "That wasn't so terrible, now, was it?"
"No, Sir." She didn't sound like she believed herself.
"I suggest you get in the proper mindset, Sonja. You have corner time when you finish your lines. It will all go faster if you don't fight me in your head."
"Yes, Sir. I'll try."
"You can write your lines standing up at the kitchen counter. I plan to sit behind you and enjoy the view. Let's get moving."
Writing what seemed to be a whole paragraph seemed to take forever, even just once. But Sonja paid attention to the words as Derek told her and she found herself realizing he was right. She hadn't given him or his feelings any consideration. By the time she was finished, Sonja was struggling to keep from crying on the paper. "Done," she said finally.
Derek came up behind her and turned her around for a long hug, followed by one of his patented kisses, guaranteed to leave her weak in the knees. He put his arm around her to keep her from backing away as he examined her paper. "Nice job, baby girl. I don't like seeing this wet spot here, though."
"I'm sorry, Sir. I think that's when I started to really understand what I was writing. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you about what was going on. I was depriving you of stuff you would want to know and myself of your support and comfort. I won't do it again. Please punish me as you see fit."
Derek pulled her into his arms for another hug. "Apology accepted. Now, into the living room for fifteen minutes of corner time."
"Yes, Sir." Sonja walked with him to the one bare corner of her living room. She was aware of the plug with every step, but it didn't bother her because she knew she deserved it. She felt loved and cherished despite being punished or maybe because of it. She put her face in the corner, so her nose touched the wall.
"Hands at your sides. No fidgeting, no talking. Understood?"
Sonja nodded her head and ended with her nose in place and her hands loosely at her sides. She heard Derek sit down on the couch and pull Snuggles into his lap. Snuggles meowed once at having his rest disturbed but quickly settled into Derek's lap.
Sonja stood in the corner, thinking about everything that had happened. She realized she had been wrong to leave Derek out of her health issues. He loved her breasts after all. She chuckled. What would he say if she told him that?
"Quiet over there. This is not a laughing matter, baby girl." Derek tried to sound stern, but Sonja knew that after her tears and his hug, they were okay again. She got control of herself and realized she did feel cut off from the activity by being in the corner. She could hear Derek with Snuggles.
"You are such a good boy, Snuggles. You're almost as cuddly as your mother. But you're looking a little scraggly. Is there a brush or comb around here?" Sonja listened as he moved around checking the drawer on the end table where she kept Snuggles' brush and comb. He was in for a shock if he tried to brush or comb Snuggles. The only grooming he liked less was having his claws trimmed. Sure enough, she heard Snuggles' distinctive yowl at Derek's attempt to brush him. "Ouch. That hurts. Come back. What am I supposed to do for cuddles while your mother is in the corner?" Sonja struggled to contain her giggles.
Sonja knew precisely where to find her cat, but as she was on time out, she contented herself with inward laughter at his predicament. Still thinking about Snuggles, she jumped when she felt Derek's hand on her back.
"Time's up. Come here, baby girl." He turned her around and tipped her head back for a kiss. She was so eager for it that she opened her lips immediately, and his tongue took full advantage of the opportunity. It took Snuggles meowing and rubbing around her ankles to break the kiss.
She bent down to the cat, wincing at the butt plug's movement. "Poor Snuggles. Did the big man try to brush you? It's okay. I know the rules about brushing, and I'll explain them to him." She looked up at Derek with a mischievous smile. "Snuggles hates two things—being brushed and having his claws trimmed. The way to do both involves treats. Lots and lots of treats."
"I'll remember that. You can give me a demonstration before I try to do it by myself. You give Snuggles all the attention, but I'm the injured party here." He held up his hand with a small scratch on it.
"Yes, Sir. I'll get you a bandage after you wash your hands." She tried to keep a straight face.
"Watch it, baby girl. Laughing at your Dom is not a good idea. Speaking of laughter, what were you giggling about? Corner time is not supposed to be fun."
"I was just thinking that I really should have told you about the mammogram and stuff because you really like my breasts." She started chuckling again at the thought.
"Baby girl. I don't just like your breasts. I love them. And I love you."
Sonja's laughter came to an abrupt end. "Did you just say you loved me?"
"That's exactly what I said, baby girl. I love you."
"Isn't it a bit early to use the 'L' word?" she asked, her throat clogged with emotion. She peeked at Derek through her lashes.
He shook his head. "No. Not only am I convinced about my feelings for you," he took her face into both his hands, his scratch forgotten, "you, of all people, deserve to be loved, baby girl."
She couldn't answer because he pressed his mouth against her lips. It was better this way; she was rendered speechless by him—again.
Chapter 5
A fter a night of cuddles and sweet, vanilla sex, Sonja and Derek went their separate ways in the morning. Both had errands to do, but they planned to meet up at Club Indigo that evening.
Sonja did her grocery shopping and made a trip to Victoria's Secret to see what they had in the way of lingerie that might be appropriate for a 'little'. The last time she'd been there, they'd had a sale with a gorgeous baby-doll nightie. Sadly, her size hadn't been available. She hoped for better luck today. On the drive there, she thought about all that Derek had said, especially that he loved her. Was it possible? They had only known each other six weeks. They hadn't yet established that she was the sort of 'little girl' he wanted.
She pulled into a parking space at Zona Rosa Town Center and turned the engine off. Her head was going 'round and 'round, and she was getting nowhere. Her gran had always told her when she wasn't sure abou
t how she felt about something, set it aside and let her mind figure it out without her help. She tried to put the question of love out of her mind and promised herself she wouldn't dwell on it anymore.
She was happy to see the store was having another sale. She didn't see anything like what she had been looking for when she came in. Sonja started to leave when another item caught her eye. It wasn't a baby-doll nightie but an elegant full-length peignoir set in creamy satin with lace trim. The color would be perfect against her milk chocolate complexion. It was also on the clearance rack for seventy percent off the original price and in her size. How had she gotten so lucky? She pulled it off the shelf and was pleased to discover the fabric was as soft and silky as it looked. The lace was delicate but soft and wouldn't irritate her skin. She tried the robe on over her blouse and slacks and discovered that the sizing was generous and the set would fit her comfortably. She could have tried on the gown, too, but didn't see the need. The top was designed so it provided support for her generous breasts. Before she could second guess herself, she was at the cash register paying for it. The lingerie gave her an idea for what to wear to the club that night, too. She would have a look in Wilma's while she was at the mall. Maybe she would have what Sonja needed.
As the day went on, she found herself thinking about Monday and the biopsy. It did her no good to worry, but she had to consider all the possibilities. How would she manage if it was cancer? She couldn't depend on Derek. They had barely started a relationship, protestations of love on his part notwithstanding. If her father had abandoned them when her mother was diagnosed, why would Derek stick around? She would leave him out of any plans, for the time being, at least. A little voice inside tried to tell her Derek was not like her father, but Sonja couldn't be sure. She wouldn't put herself in the same position her mother had been in. By the time she left for Club Indigo, she had convinced herself that if the biopsy were positive for cancer, she would be on her own.
Derek was sitting at the bar nursing a glass of bourbon when Sonja walked in. She was wearing a bright red dress with makeup to match. Aside from the color, it looked like the dress Marilyn Monroe had worn in The Seven Year Itch, and Derek wondered what Sonja would look like if she stood on a subway grate in it. It seemed like she was trying to highlight her feminine traits over her inner child. They would have to see about that. Derek wasn't sure what he had been expecting, but this femme fatale was definitely not it.
"Hello, Derek," she all but purred. "How do you like my new dress? I got it especially for you."
"Interesting choice, baby girl. What would you like to drink?"
"Vodka tonic, please."
"I don't think that's an appropriate drink for you. Especially if we're going to play later," Derek said, letting a touch of sternness into his voice.
Sonja shrugged. "Maybe I don't feel like playing tonight. Let's dance instead." She tried to move him from his barstool, but she would have been more successful moving a fully-grown oak tree.
"Orange juice for Sonja, please, Bob. Child's cup."
"I said I wanted a vodka tonic," Sonja demanded. "Bob, it's my order, not his. I don't need someone else's permission to have a freaking drink."
"The lady has a point, Derek," Bob said. "She didn't address you by title. That makes her a free agent in my book."
"All right. Give the lady what she asked for." He turned to Sonja. "What's going on with you, baby girl? I thought we made some progress in our relationship last night."
"Nothing's going on. I just want a real drink." Sonja shrugged again. "And I'm not in the mood to play. That's allowed, surely."
"Of course, I wouldn't force you to play, but I think you might have a different game going on tonight."
Bob brought her drink over, and Derek intercepted it. "Let's go over to a table and we can discuss this further. You can have your drink, just over there."
Sonja put on a pouty face that made Derek want to kiss her. Instead, he led her to a table in the darkest corner of the lounge. "Your drink, Madame." He handed it to her with a flourish.
She inclined her head regally. "Thank you."
"Not even a 'Sir' with the thank you?"
"If I call you Sir, then you can say I've agreed to power exchange, and I don't want that tonight."
"What do you want, Sonja?" His voice gentled. He could tell something was off, but he was puzzled about what it could be after the previous night's events. He didn't think this was the way a woman reacted to being told she was loved.
"Right now, I want to be treated like an adult."
"Okay. I can do that. Shall we have an adult conversation while we enjoy our drinks?" Derek kept his voice calm, although he wanted to put her over his knee.
"I'd rather have my vodka tonic first. Then, if you insist, we can talk. I'd rather dance."
"Talk first, dance later. Maybe. If the conversation is satisfactory." Derek's temper was rising with every exchange, and he was struggling to keep his voice even. "What's put you in this mood?"
"I don't know what you mean, Derek." Sonja's voice cracked on his name. "I found this great dress when I was out shopping today and it made me want to dance. I thought you liked dancing. And my dress has this great halter top you might want to open up later."
Derek heard more than saw Sonja's seduction attempt fall apart. Her sultry tone had vanished and she sounded close to tears, although she still looked sexy enough to draw the attention of every straight man and lesbian in the place. He put a touch of dominance in his voice. "Come over here, baby girl. Sit on my lap and tell me what's really going on? Is this about Monday?"
Sonja downed the rest of her drink in one gulp and stumbled as she moved to Derek's welcoming arms. "Why do you have to be so nice to me when I'm being a bitch?"
"Because I'm a nice guy? Because you're beautiful even when you're trying to throw a temper tantrum and I can tell it's not real?"
She dissolved in tears. "It wasn't supposed to be like this," she said through heaving sobs. "You were supposed to get mad and dump me."
"Dump you? Why would I do that?"
"Because I'm not a baby girl."
"I love you, Sonja. We covered that last night. The rest, we'll work out."
"If I have c-cancer, it won't matter. You'll leave anyway."
"Where did you get such an idea?" Derek was genuinely puzzled now.
Tears streamed down her face as she spoke. "My father couldn't handle my mother's cancer, and he abandoned us. Why would you be any different? I thought it would be easier for you to leave now, and then I wouldn't have to worry about when it would happen."
"Did you consider the possibility that I wouldn't leave you?" he asked in a low voice. Derek understood her twisted reasoning, although he didn't agree with it.
"No." She sniffed. "Why would you stay with me?"
"Because I love you. I don't see that changing any time soon, baby girl. Besides, this dress is gorgeous on you, and it looks perfect for dancing. You can't convince me you're not a little with one dress and a vodka tonic. Do you even like vodka?"
She straightened up in his lap. "As a matter of fact, I do." She ruined her outrage with a giggle. "About once or twice a year."
He chuckled. "Well, at least you're tipsy on something you enjoy. Are you sober enough to hear me?"
"Yes, Sir."
"Good. Now pay close attention." Derek put his hand under her chin. "I. Am. Not. Going. Anywhere. I Am. Not. Dumping. You." He put his hands on both sides of her face as he continued. "You are stuck with me for the foreseeable future. Cancer or no cancer."
"How can you be sure? You don't know what it's like. I'll lose my hair. I'll be throwing up all the time. Chemo is awful."
"I am sure. Right now, you're borrowing trouble. Stop it. You don't know if you have cancer. I understand you're trying to plan for the worst-case scenario, but me out of the picture is not part of that. I will be with you, whatever happens. You can't get rid of me that easily. If you want to break up with me, you have t
o do it. You're not going to get me to do it for you."
"Okay." Sonja's tear-streaked face showed her relief. "What do you want to do now, Sir?"
"I'm going to get you a juice. I'd say we could dance, but not to the techno stuff they have on right now. How about we watch a scene? I think I saw Kate, Chris, and Yvonne go past a few minutes ago."
"I need to go to the ladies' room to clean up my face. Could I have water instead of juice, please, Sir?"
"Sure. Take your time, but I think you look beautiful with tear stains on your face."
"Only a Dom would think that, Sir." Sonja smiled through her tears. "I'll be right back."
In the ladies' room mirror, Sonja's makeup was a mess. Her eyes were blotchy from crying, and her mascara made black lines down her cheeks where her tears had been. What she didn't expect was the smile on her face. Derek wouldn't dump her. Sonja could break up with him if she wanted, but he wouldn't do it for her. She'd think about their relationship later. Right now, she'd redo her makeup, and they could watch a scene.
When she and Derek walked into the main room, they saw Yvonne attached to an adjustable frame they hadn't seen before. "I guess Mitch was paying attention to everyone telling him we needed more equipment in here," Sonja said.
"Looks like fun, too," Derek replied. "I could do a lot to you on an open frame like that."
"There are Suzie and Connor. Can we go sit with them, please?"
"Sure." They walked over to the couch that was closest to the scene, where Sonja's business partners were sitting. "Mind if we join you?" Derek addressed Connor.
"Not at all. It's always a pleasure to see you both," Connor said from the couch. Suzie knelt on a cushion on the floor leaning against her husband's legs. "Ye can say hello, rùnag."
"Hello, Derek. Hi, Sonja. That dress is gorgeous. Where did you find it?"
"At Wilma's. Where else? Good evening, Captain." Sonja always made sure to be polite to Suzie's husband when they were at the club.
