by Rachel Leigh
“Why don’t you all just leave?” I thumb the stubble on my chin. “Why stay?”
“We don’t have a choice. He’s left us without one. If we want our trust fund, which is our way out, we can’t leave until after graduation. Talon is losing his, I know he is. But, that’s ok. I have enough to take care of both of us. I just have to get through these next couple of months.”
“Is the money really worth your sanity?”
“If it means that I never have to look at either of those people again, and I can escape the secrets of that house. Yes. It’s worth it. Besides, if I’ve learned one thing from my parents, it’s that money buys a lot more than just stuff.”
I don’t know what to say. I pull her into me as she rests her head against my shoulder, inhaling her hair. “So, the nightmares? What are they?”
She remains a crutch under my arm, grasping me tighter. Feeling my protection. “Just a really bad time. I witnessed something as a child that no child should ever have to. An image that I’ve never been able to escape.” She leaves it at that. And I let her.
B opened up to me tonight. She came to me instead of Knox. I’m slowly knocking down her walls and gaining her trust, a road not many go down with her.
The next thing I know we’re waking up to the sound of my alarm buzzing in my ear with B curled up against me. I give her a nudge, hoping that Dad and Val didn’t notice her absence in the spare bedroom.
It’s confirmed that they did when I walk downstairs after both of us get ready for school.
Dad shakes his head with a cup of coffee gripped tightly in his hand. “Not cool, Jasper. Not cool at all.”
I chuckle. “We didn’t do anything. She had a bad dream, so I helped her through it. It’s not a big deal.”
“There are rules in this house. Do I need to remind you of them?”
“No parties, no sleepovers with the opposite sex, no drinking. Oh, and no leaving our shoes at the door.” I wink and give my fingers a snap.
“This isn’t a joke. I expect you to follow the rules from here on out. And, it’s in your best interest to listen to what I said before. Steer clear of that girl.”
My eyes shoot behind me when I hear footsteps coming down the stairs. I know she heard him. There is no way she didn’t.
She casually ignores his command, “Good morning, Coach Scott.” Her eyes shoot to me and her lips coil. “Jasper.”
Dad grabs his lunch off the counter. “Remember what I said.”
And he’s gone. I lean back with my elbows on the center island and look B up and down. A black mini skirt that could stand to be an inch or two longer and a baby blue tee that shows a fraction of her stomach.
I know exactly what she’s thinking without her even speaking. She’s holding onto the memory of me between her legs last night.
“Wanna ride with me?” I ask her, as I peel back the skin of a banana, tossing one to her. “You need to eat.”
“Don’t you have practice after school?”
She’s right, I do. Damnit.
“I’ll see you in first period.” She pushes the skinless banana into her mouth, seductively, while watching me, tearing off the top and tossing the leftover at me.
I catch the slippery mess and gape at her as she walks away. Once she’s out the door, I finish off both bananas and head out the door.
The first thing that hits me is the chill in the air. The second is Dad’s work truck that’s still parked in the driveway. I walk over and look inside—his coffee and lunch are in the center console. Where the hell is he? I glance around the yard, taking a step closer to the Porter house when I hear voices. Dad’s voice—followed by the high-pitched tone of Mr. Porter, standing nose to nose between two large pillars on the front porch.
I step closer to hear what they are arguing about but watch as Dad throws his hands in the air and walks down the steps. I stroll casually back to his truck and lean my back against the driver door until he rounds the corner.
“What was that all about?” I gesture toward the Porter property.
“Nothing. I gotta get to work.” His words are an attempt to get me to move. Only my feet remain firmly in place. I cross my arms over my chest, taking a stance until I get answers as to why he’s already battling it out with our delightful new neighbor. “Jasper, come on. I’m starting a new project, and I’m already running late.” He glances at his wristwatch. Not an Apple Watch or a Fitbit, a good old fashion analog from Costco. Dad is old fashioned in that way. Also, because we’ve never been able to afford the glam and lavish that people like the Porters bask in.
“Just tell me everything is okay? Is it Blakely?”
He pushes me to the side and I lose my momentum as he opens the door. “Do me a favor, stay the hell away from her. I mean it, Jasper.” He closes the door and shifts into reverse. I squint my eyes in confusion.
Why is the world so against us?
Chapter Twenty
Blakely
The school week went by uneventfully. Practice in the evenings. Stealing kisses at night. After the night Jasper and I slept together, I returned back home—or to hell rather. I’d love nothing more than to wake up to Jasper every morning, but knowing that his parents were aware of us sharing a room that night, I figured it’s best to play it safe and follow the rules. Val is like a mom to me. She and Knox are two of the small group of people who have earned my respect and decency. Although, Knox has been extra protective lately. Constantly nagging at me for my choice of companionship. I’ve made it clear to him that Jasper and I are nothing more than friends, but I don’t think he’s buying it—I’m beginning to lack the credibility to back up my words.
“Hey there, beautiful.”
I turn around to find Levi in uniform. The clock is already lit up for our last away game of the season.
“Hi.” I grimace. Levi made it pretty clear that his time is much better suited when accompanied by Petra. If ditching me for hoco wasn’t enough, I saw them making out in the gym after lunch. At first, I felt gutted, then I got over it. A lot quicker than I thought I could.
“You going to Chloe’s tonight?”
“I am. With Jasper.”
Levi lets out a noise that resembles a laugh but sounds more like he’s gasping for air. “With that Raven wannabe? You sure like sticking it to Petra, don’t you?” His helmet hangs freely from his left hand as he swings it back and forth.
“What’s that supposed to mean? Petra and Jasper barely know each other.”
His head twists and nods to the left and my eyes follow suite. “That’s not what I hear. Or see for that matter.”
On the last row of bleachers, Petra is standing over Jasper as he sits.
“Control your bitch.” I shove past him as I move toward Jasper, but I stop myself and turn back around—walking toward my squad.
“She’s not mine to control.” Levi cups his mouth and shouts as I walk by him.
When I reach the girls, they are already in line. Petra jogs over, followed by Jasper who gives a me a wink on his way to the sideline. I give him a roll of the eyes, and he changes his direction to come back to me.
“What’s wrong?” He places a hand on the small of my back.
“I’m fine.” I slither out of his reach.
“Are you sure? You don’t seem fine.” Coach Scott begins huddling the team, and Jasper shoots daggers at me before hustling to the field.
“Kip Rhodes is set to kick—booms the ball down the field. Drake Johnson has a decent return to the twenty-seventh yard line before being brought down by a flock of Ravens.”
“Blakely,” Meg nudges me, “pay attention.” Not even realizing we’ve started our hello cheer. I’m totally out of the zone as I stare into the crowd. Each clap echoing through my body.
Stomp, stomp, clap. Stomp, stomp, clap.
I repeat the actions. I shout the words, but my heart isn’t in it tonight—my mind is in a fog. Things have been going so well with Jasper, I finally admitted to him and t
o myself that I’d grown feelings for him. Well, to him it was more like “You’re not so bad.” Same thing.
I was hesitant. I resisted so much, but I did it. I put myself out there. This lump lodged in my throat has me feeling like I shouldn’t have. He’s gaining the upper hand. With it comes power—the power to break me.
I look to the stands and see the junior varsity team in the student section and see Talon’s teammates. The lump in my throat now pushes deep into the pit of my stomach. I know he’s doing well, at least that’s what he says. Each day a victory. He’ll be in San Diego for the next thirty days and then he’ll finish out the school year in Blythe with Aunt Kelly and Uncle Wade. It’s only twenty minutes from Redwood, but still too far—yet, not far enough. Too far from me, too close to devilry.
“Ravens line up with a split left. Trips right. Number eighteen takes a snap. Fakes right. Ohhh, there is no slowing this boy down. Pass to the left to our favorite offensive tackle who is an eligible receiver. Wide open and touchdowwwnnnn, Ravens.”
The crowd goes wild, and we join them.
When I turn back to the game, I notice Coach Scott talking to a man in a suit, a badge clipped to his breast pocket that I can’t make out. The Panthers call a timeout, and the Ravens gather at the bench, little Sam hands out water to the players, and I smile. Sam is Kipp’s little brother, can’t be more than seven years old and a future heartbreaker at Redwood.
When the team heads back to the field, Jasper sticks around, having his own engaging conversation with the gentleman. After shaking hands, they part ways, and I can finally make out the badge.
UCLA Bruins, Recruitment
My jealousy and anger suddenly replaced with an ease of happiness for Jasper—this is what he wanted, what he’s worked so hard for. Then it hits me, full force in the gut, UCLA is four hours away. What does that mean for us? Is there an us? We've only just met, but I feel like I’ve known him for ages. My level of comfort heightening each moment we are together. My fear of losing him expanding each passing day. A novel feeling to me. I’ve never looked to another person for happiness, I’ve always found it in things or inside the suffering of those who have wronged me.
We lost the game 42-21. It wasn’t for lack of effort on our part, the Panthers just kick ass. We brought our all but, in the end, it wasn’t enough. I drive myself home to get ready for the party, and even though I want to make some smartass comment to Jasper about how he could just take Petra to the party, I don’t. I’m actually pretty proud of myself for my level of restraint today.
Jasper is in some sort of mood after their loss. It could be because the recruiter for UCLA was there today, and even though he played his ass off, I know he doesn’t feel like it was enough.
Just as I slip into a Redwood hoodie, my phone vibrates in the ass of my jeans pocket.
Are you ready yet? I need a beer ASAP.
Jasper has been sitting in the driveway with Landon, who is driving us tonight. I give him credit; he’s got patience. Always waiting on me.
Coming.
Just as I get on my white chucks, Dad appears out of nowhere. I didn’t even know he was home, not that I care. I can smell the stench of liquor on his breath, and if that wasn’t enough to tell me that he’s been drinking again, his blood shot eyes speak louder.
“Where the hell are you going?” He mutters, bracing himself on Mom’s Dutch armoire.
“Out.” I walk toward the corridor. Unbeknownst to me, he follows. I pick up my pace, unsure of what he wants. Dad is unpredictable when he’s in this state. With most people you get a happy drunk, an angry drunk, or an emotional drunk. With Dad you get angry, destructive, or violent. He throws words around like stones, not caring where they land—giving no thought to the fact that we live in a glass house.
“What do you want?” My tone rises and falls as I spin around, stopping him in his tracks.
“You need to get your brother back here.”
“Talon is where he needs to be.” I turn back around and reach for the door, pulling it open a crack, before his palm forcefully meets the mahogany. “I don’t need to remind you of this family’s agreement, do I?”
He steps closer, inches from my face, and my stomach turns at the repulsive smell. I keep myself calm and try to regain focus on something else, but all I ever do is think of the “what ifs.” What if he hurts me? He never has, physically. I’m the one person who has been spared of that pain. I’ll never know why, and I’ll never ask.
“My ride's here, please move your hand.” I close my eyes, hoping he will be gone when I open them.
“New boyfriend?” He chuckles, a tonal shift, “shouldn’t your old man meet him before letting him take my little girl out?”
“Little girl?” I laugh and attempt the handle again. “You already know him, it’s Jasper. Now, please move.”
My phone is blowing up in my pocket, but I continue to ignore it.
A devious laugh erupts from his dehydrated vocal cords. My expression twists in wry amusement. “Why is that funny?”
I’m fueling his fire now. I don’t even care what he finds so hilarious.
His hand still intact, I realize he’s not giving in. He’s bored, and he’s looking for an argument to excite his completely boring life. I reach my hand in back pocket and dial Jasper.
“Are you coming or what?” He sounds about as pleasant as a wolf.
“Can you come to the door?” I look to Dad who is sporting a smug grin.
“I guess.”
The call ends.
“You wanna talk to him. Talk to him.” I attempt to open the door, this time he allows it. I watch as Jasper walks up the drive, looking confused as hell.
“Sweetheart,” Dad whispers in my ear, “I don’t want to talk to him, I want you to stay the hell away from him.” I can hear the grinding of his teeth as his voice turns rabid.
“Mr. Porter.” Jasper gestures with a nod. His hands deep into the pockets of his black jeans. He looks unnerved.
“You two,” Dad points a finger between Jasper and I, “you two, are wasting your time.”
With that, he finally leaves. I expel a breath that I didn’t realize I was holding. I’ve long since moved past being embarrassed by my parents’ actions.
“Let’s go.” I grab Jasper by the sleeve of his black sweatshirt and pull him out the door, leaving it open with Dad standing there watching us.
“What’s his deal?” Jasper asks, looking over his shoulder and giving Dad an uneasy look.
“Who knows, who cares?” I spit out rhetorically. “Got anything to drink?”
Jasper frisks himself. “I don’t. I have this though.” He pulls out a cigarette pack.
“Nah, I don’t smoke.”
He pulls a single joint from the pack and tosses the emptied Marlboro box to the curb next to Landon’s car.
“Ohhhh.” I smile. I don’t smoke weed much, but every now and then, I partake. Looks like tonight is one of those nights.
We climb in, and Jasper sparks the joint, passing it to me. Landon and Marco are riding in the front seat, and Jasper and I are in the back. Before long, the car is filled with smoke, and I’ve forgotten all about Dad and his empty words. That’s the plan—leave the worries of the world at home, where they always wait for me.
Chapter Twenty-One
Jasper
I stretch my arm out, wrapping it around B, hoping she isn’t in a mood. To my surprise, she snuggles into me. I like seeing her relaxed and not so uptight.
My phone sounds in the front pocket of my hoodie just as we pull up to Chloe’s fucking mansion sized house. Jimmy. What the hell does he want this late? We head down a long drive that resembles the last party. The music blasts down the driveway. I wait until we pull up behind a row of cars before taking the call.
“I’ll catch up, y’all go ahead.”
B gives me a once over then runs over to greet Meg and Chloe.
“Jimmy, what’s up?”
“Yeah, I’v
e got some info for you,” he says in his strong, Italian accent. I hear him spit, and I instantly know he’s got a wad of tobacco tucked in his lip, always does.
“It’s about damn time. Let’s hear it.”
“I was able to get my guy on the inside at LVPD to talk about the arriving officer. Still don’t have a name but…”
“The fuck, Jimmy!” I shout into the speaker as I pull it away from my ear, “I told you that I want a name. I don’t need all the sordid details. We’ve been on this merry-go-round far too long. It needs to end, now.” I put the phone back up to my ear, hoping for his sake that he’s got something solid. I know he needs this money. His health depends on it. I dipped into my college fund for this money, and it better be worth it. It’s the reason I have to work my ass off extra hard for these scholarships.
“Would you shut the fuck up and listen. Damn kid, you talk too much.” He spits again, “Officer Jerry Dangle was the first officer on scene. He let it slip that the driver is the CEO of Blacksmith Oil. Talking about how his money paid for his crimes.”
“Blacksmith Oil, Blacksmith Oil.” I repeat out loud. “Why does that sound so familiar?” My mind is burnt out and hazy, but I know I’ve heard that name before. “You got anything else?”
This is good. It’s a starting point, a very good starting point. It won’t take long at all to find out who the CEO of Blacksmith Oil is. And, when I do, the money hugging son of a bitch will finally pay for killing Mom. Even if I have to pay him back myself, with my own bare hands.
“He wasn’t alone. He had a kid with him. Dangle talked about how the distraught little girl watched your mom,” he pauses and clears his throat, “well, ya know.”
“A little girl? How old was she?”
“Didn’t say. She ain’t no little girl anymore, though. She was eleven years old at the time of the accident.”
