“Don’t try to change the subject. How long has this been going on?”
“It’s private,” Adam said, instinctively knowing if he didn’t handle this situation carefully, Nate would leave. That was the last thing he wanted.
Cade plonked onto a chair, making himself comfortable. It didn’t look as if he was leaving anytime soon, not without answers.
“Can you at least make some coffee and give us a chance to get dressed?” Adam snapped, not holding back on his temper. Nate leaving would really piss him off.
With a nod, Cade stood. “Sure. I’ll go and get some breakfast from the diner.”
“Put the coffee on first,” Nate said, his first words giving Adam hope. They didn’t sound like the words of a man who intended to run.
They waited in taut silence while Cade filled the coffeemaker with water and ripped open the packet of coffee grinds, cursing under his breath when he spilled some. Adam swallowed and closed his eyes. He could feel the heat coming off Nate’s body, the other man so close they were almost touching. Almost. In this case, almost seemed like a hundred miles, with uncertainty filling the distance between.
Cade’s boots thudded on the tile floor before the cheap carpet muffled the sound. At the door, he paused. “See you in a few. We’ll talk,” he added before closing the door behind him.
In the silence that Cade left behind, Adam waited for the axe to fall, to hack away the happiness he’d found with Nate.
“Do you think he’ll tell the others?” Nate asked, still not moving.
“I don’t know.” Fear kept Adam from looking at Nate again. “At least he didn’t throw a spastic fit and tell us we’re sick.”
“Adam.”
When fear kept Adam from turning to look at him, Nate took the lead and slid close, pushing him flat on his back. Nate leaned over, staring down with a serious mien. “This is the last thing I wanted to happen, but I’m not ashamed of being with you. Finding a connection with another person is difficult. Friendship should always be treasured.”
“Is that all this is to you? Friendship?” Hurt and a hint of anger layered each word of his abrupt retort. Adam knew if he could hear the underlying fear, Nate would have no difficulty in discerning the emotion. That irritated him as well. He didn’t want to come across as needy. He’d done fine on his own so far.
“It’s more than friendship, and you know it. Don’t act like a baby.” The flash of Nate’s impatience turned Adam on even as he winced inwardly at the inherent sting. Nobody liked the label of childish.
“What do you want to tell Cade? The rest of the band? You know them better than me. How will they react to us being together?”
Nate’s questions relaxed the ball of tension in his gut, and Adam melted into the mattress in a play at calm. “I’m not ashamed of who I am. I’m more worried about you. Will you leave?” More important, will you leave me?
“You’re not answering my questions. How will the band react?”
“I’m not sure. We’ve never discussed the gay issue, mainly because I didn’t want to know what they thought.” He forced a confident smile, not wanting to alarm Nate. “It’ll be all right. They’re my friends. We’ve been together for years.”
“But you’re not sure.”
“How can I really be sure until I tell them?” A tremor slipped through his body at the thought. Fear. Damn, he was worried about their reaction. And Cade would tell them. He knew that without a shred of doubt.
“Did you know Cade was coming back this morning? Did you orchestrate this?”
“Fuck, no!” Adam snapped, incensed at the accusation. “I would never do something so underhanded. There’s no need to insult me.”
Nate blinked, the only reaction Adam noticed. He wasn’t sure if Nate believed him or not. “We’d better move before Cade gets back.”
Nate pushed away, lifting the covers in the process. He paused, a frown on his face as he stared at Adam’s chest. “When did you get the Kokopelli tattoo? It wasn’t there yesterday.” He traced it with a forefinger, the sensual drag of a callused finger against his flesh making his body react. A groan emerged, low and throaty. A distinctly sexual jolt pulsed through him.
“I…” Adam swallowed. “Do that again. Touch it again.”
Nate traced the outline of the Kokopelli with his finger, finally raising his gaze in a question. “It’s not a new tattoo, because there’s no inflammation of your skin. It’s not a temporary tat, either.”
“I…no, it’s not. Can we talk about it later? Please?”
Nate’s eyes narrowed. “Tonight after the show. We’ll get a hotel room where we can talk without any interruptions.”
“That sounds good.” Adam crawled from the bed and grabbed a pair of jeans. The sound of the key in the door made him decide not to look for underwear. Instead, he scrambled into the jeans and zipped them up, leaving the button at the top unfastened. Recalling the emerging Kokopelli on his chest, he donned a T-shirt as well.
“I met the others in the diner,” Cade said from the doorway. J.T. grabbed the door so Cade could enter without fumbling and dropping their breakfast. Morgan followed behind, bringing a whiff of fresh air and flowers from the outdoors. Adam frowned at the flowering shrub outside the door before Morgan shut it, blocking his view. With a sense of foreboding, he watched his friends while they settled around the small table, each claiming a chair.
Shit, the entire band intended to interrogate him and Nate. Nothing like a lynching party to start the day. Adam glanced at Nate, noticed the faint tightening of his mouth, the tense shoulders as he pulled a wrinkled black T-shirt over his head.
Still scowling, Nate strode to the coffeemaker and grabbed cups from the cupboard. He poured coffee for all of them and set the coffeemaker going again without uttering a word.
Adam sighed at the uncomfortable silence, anger starting to build inside him. He was still the same person as he was the day before. So he and Nate slept together. They were discreet and didn’t force their relationship down anyone’s throat. The guys had no right to judge them.
“What’s for breakfast?” he growled.
“Hotcakes,” Cade said.
“Thanks.” Adam grabbed one of the boxes and syrup, before heading over to a blue couch, since the others occupied all the chairs around the table. He shoved Nate’s Stetson aside to make room for someone else to join him if they wanted.
After a swift glance at him, Nate topped up his coffee and strode over to sit next to him. Nate’s solid presence helped calm his nerves, but he still felt like a teenager again, facing his father’s disapproval. Yeah, and he’d thought he’d left condemnation behind at his family home. His stomach churned afresh. Obviously not. Maybe that’s where he’d made his mistake. Lack of openness. Although he’d left home, he hadn’t left the closet at the same time, meaning he still walked in murky darkness filled with secrets.
Pissed at the silence, he delivered the opening salvo. “Anyone gonna comment?”
Like a pack of wolves, they attacked, all talking at once.
“Did Cade really catch you in bed together?” J.T. demanded.
“Are you gay?” Morgan’s contribution.
“Are the two of you serious about each other, or were you drunk?” Cade’s question.
Adam sucked in a deep breath and didn’t check Nate’s reaction this time. Time for him to man up. Although he didn’t intend to shout his sexual orientation to the rooftops—Susan wouldn’t like it, for a start—there was no reason why he couldn’t discuss the matter with his friends. But if they behaved badly, then all bets were off. There was no way he intended to take crap or let Nate take the brunt of something that was essentially his problem. He’d started this by making a move on Nate.
“I’m gay. It’s the reason I left home. My father kicked me out when he discovered I preferred men to women.” He spun a censored version of the truth, pinning each of his friends with a stony stare, silently daring them to take potshots.
; “Why didn’t you say something?” Morgan asked. “I don’t care what you do with your sex life, as long as it’s legal and you don’t bring Stampede bad publicity because of it.”
“It’s not something I’m comfortable talking about,” Adam admitted. “Most people aren’t very understanding when it comes to being different. They say they understand, but deep down they’re panicking in case the bad gene rubs off on them or their families. Why do you think I was asked to leave home?” Adam swallowed, thinking the past shouldn’t still have the power to hurt him this way. But it was easy to recall the appalled expressions on the villagers’ faces when they realized he was gay. They’d worried their unborn children would have the same tendencies because he was Kokopelli, the one who guaranteed fruitful crops, the one who had the power to ensure women conceived to carry on the line.
As if to remind him of the past pain, the Kokopelli tattoo that had reappeared on his chest started to itch and burn. With trembling hands, Adam set his coffee mug on the glass-topped table in front of him and rubbed the tattoo, hoping to alleviate the pain.
“You okay?” Nate murmured.
“Yeah.”
A frown puckered Nate’s brow, his gaze dropping to Adam’s chest. Adam let his hand fall away, not wanting to answer questions now. When Nate opened his mouth, Adam sent him a pleading look. His mouth firmed, his eyes narrowing a fraction, but he dipped his head in a curt nod, silently promising to hold his questions.
“We’re not most people,” Cade said. “We’re friends. Hell, we might as well be family, given the amount of time we spend together.”
“So finding me in bed with Nate doesn’t bother you?” Adam felt Nate’s slight flinch and reached for his hand without even considering their audience.
Nate cursed and stood, ignoring his gesture. “I’m going for a run.” He grabbed some gear from his bag and stalked to the bathroom, leaving Adam at the mercy of his friends. Perhaps this was better. He could talk to them without censoring. He and Nate would talk later tonight in private. Hopefully Nate didn’t intend to bail on him, because that would break his heart. With the appearance of the Kokopelli tattoo, he needed someone in his corner.
Adam applied himself to breakfast, and the others took the hint, with Cade rising to top up their coffee cups.
“I’ll be about an hour,” Nate said. “I’ll be back in time to drive you to the studio.” The door closed behind him and, taking that for a signal, his friends started to talk all at once again.
Adam held up his right hand. “Stop. Let me talk. I like Nate. I really like him, and have for a long time. If you guys scare him off, I’m never gonna forgive you. Give me a hard time if you have a problem, but don’t take it out on Nate.”
“Adam,” J.T. said. “You’ve been happy lately. We’ve all noticed it in your performances. You’re churning out some great new songs. If you weren’t pulling your weight, we’d have grounds to complain.”
“Yeah, we’re not saying we want to watch you and Nate do it, but you don’t have to hide from us,” Morgan said, glancing at the others as he spoke.
“You didn’t walk in on them,” Cade said. “I had to scrub my eyeballs.”
“We weren’t doing anything.” Adam glared at Cade until he noticed the humor lurking in the other man’s eyes. “Aw, hell. I walked into that one. It’s true, though. We were asleep.”
“That’s what he says,” Cade teased, and Adam knew then that everything would be all right with the band. Business as usual, as long as Nate didn’t have an issue with the other guys knowing about their relationship.
The slap of Nate’s sneakers on the pavement kept company with his whirring thoughts. The band knew. It was the start of an avalanche, and he wasn’t even sure what this was between him and Adam. He knew he liked the man, admired his talent and drive. He liked the sex and the fact that Adam was letting him set the pace. Not once had Adam complained because they hadn’t gone all the way yet. Hell, he’d liked waking up in Adam’s arms this morning, which was why he hadn’t moved as soon as he’d woken and Cade had discovered them. Adam made him forget Rosa, and that was the part he hated. The way he had to search his mind to produce a mental picture and strain to hear the echoes of her laughter. Rosa… Damn, he’d loved her so much, and now the first person he turned to when he had a thought to share was Adam.
A fool couldn’t miss the signs. He’d started to care for Adam.
Nate increased his speed, trying to outrun his thoughts. Didn’t work. They followed right along with him, back to the motel. Sweat dripped down his forehead and shone on his torso by the time he ran through the parking lot, heading to his room. Instead of the trepidation he should feel, anticipation filled him, and that’s when he knew it was too late to run. Adam had already tagged his heart, and he was it.
When he reached the entrance to the motel, he slowed to a brisk walk. The flowers growing in the terracotta tubs bordering the path were ablaze with varying shades of red. Pausing by one of the tubs, Nate ran through a quick series of stretches before he knocked on their door. “It’s me,” he called when he heard footsteps.
The door cracked open a fraction. The sense of being watched hit him, bringing a frown. A fan? A reporter? Or someone else?
When the back of his neck prickled again, he turned casually, rolling his shoulders in another stretch. The sense of scrutiny persisted, and when Adam opened the door to let him inside, he entered quickly, relaxing only when the solid wood of the door closed out the rest of the world.
“I keep getting the sense that someone is watching us. Have you felt anything? Seen anyone hanging around?”
Adam wrinkled his nose, and Nate wasn’t sure if it was the question or the way he smelled after the run.
“Now that you mention it, I have felt as if we’re being watched. I figured it was a fan. Are you okay?” His hand hovered over Nate’s arm before falling to his side. Adam’s uncertainty pulled at him. Nate knew exactly how he felt, exactly what he was asking.
He opened his mouth to tell Adam it was gonna be all right, but he couldn’t. Not when he wasn’t sure. “I’m gonna take a shower.”
“Okay.”
They exchanged a look, holding gazes for a long moment. Each wanted to say something—that was obvious. Nate couldn’t find the words, didn’t want to confront what he felt for Adam. He walked away, paused. “Have you showered yet?”
“No.”
“We could share.”
“We could do that,” Adam said, his tone instantly lighter. Happier.
Nate nodded and kept walking, his lips quirking in the beginnings of a grin. He’d scarcely flipped on the shower and stripped off his sweaty T-shirt when Adam walked in wearing not a stitch of clothing. His cock drew Nate’s attention straightaway, the air hissing from him as a frisson of anticipation hit. “I want you.” The words fell from his mouth unbidden, and embarrassment heated his cheeks.
“Good, I thought Cade and the others might scare you away.”
“I…no.” But he wasn’t really sure what he was doing. With Rosa, he’d known exactly what to do, what he’d wanted. He’d found himself thinking about her all the time, wanting to spend every minute of his day with her so he’d asked her to marry him. After they’d married, the feeling between them had deepened. Nate felt the same about Adam, and the intimacy scared him.
“You know we don’t have time to do anything except shower?” The amusement in Adam’s voice finally forced Nate to look directly at his lover. “But maybe we’ll get to the good stuff tonight after we talk.” He stepped into the shower, standing to one side to give Nate room. “Turn around. I’ll do your back.”
The tattoo on Adam’s chest caught his attention again, the lines crisp and defined as the water poured down over his head. Questions formed on his lips, but they died when he caught Adam’s evasive expression. Nate opened his mouth and closed it again. It was just a tattoo. Nothing sinister in the scheme of things, not compared to people firing guns at them.
“Hurry, Nate. Do you want the others to find us in the shower?”
“Hell, no.” The questions would have to come later. Nate turned and presented his back, groaning under his breath as Adam started washing him. Broad hands and callused fingers stroked across his back, shooting pleasure through him. Blood sank into his groin, his cock rising to the occasion. His next groan was even louder.
“Turn around,” Adam whispered into his ear. “I’ll do your front.”
Nate obeyed, the air hissing past his lips when Adam’s fingers skimmed his cock. “I thought we didn’t have time for sex.”
Adam slipped to his knees in front of Nate and grinned up at him. “I lied. We have time for a quickie.” Before Nate could protest, Adam’s lips tightened around him and sucked hard. Primed as he was already by Adam’s touch, the mouth action was like a bolt of lightning streaking through him. On unsteady legs, he braced his hands on the side of the shower stall, head bowed to watch the way his cock slid in and out of Adam’s mouth. It was the sexiest thing he’d ever experienced, the raw pleasure scraping his nerve endings while water rained down and Adam’s appreciative grunts vibrated around his shaft.
“Damn, Adam. You make me crazy.”
Adam pulled back and sent him a teasing glance. “In a good way, I hope?”
“Too good.” And that was the truth. It was part of the problem—the way Adam replaced memories of Rosa. What kind of a man did that make him? Was he shallow?
“Hey. I’m not trying to replace Rosa. I can’t, but I can spend time with you. Be a friend.”
“Is that what we are? Friends?” And was he that transparent when he thought about Rosa?
“I hope so. Now be quiet while I get busy. We don’t have much time.”
Guilt pushed at Nate, but the strong suction of Adam’s mouth drove it away. He held still for as long as he could, letting the pressure build until his entire body shuddered. Then his hips jerked, driving his cock deep. The heaviness in his balls grew, and he couldn’t hold back any longer. With a rough cry, he released, hard spasms rippling the length of his cock as Adam’s mouth and tongue worked around him.
Seeking Kokopelli Page 11
