“Look me in the eye,” Holly sat up in the bathtub, “and tell me you would get an abortion. Amelia, I feel them, they are healthy. It’s just fucking cancer.”
Holly could see the doubt in Amelia’s eyes as she looked up at Holly.
“Exactly my point. You wouldn’t do it either, you would fight with Armand every single day. So don’t ask me to abort, not now.”
“I’m sorry.” She squeezed Holly’s hand. “I still can’t believe you told him there was no way back if you beat this and he wasn’t here for you.”
“Would you go through all this alone and let Armand back into your life when all the crazy was over?”
“I don’t know.”
“We are not so different from each other, Amelia. I need your strength, so please stop being negative.”
“I will, I promise.”
“Besides, your brother is being a dick. If he keeps on condemning me, I will make it my master plan never to take him back.”
“You are insane, you know that.”
“I’m not that crazy, Amelia. Now, could you please help my fat ass out of this bath?”
Amelia laughed. “You better keep your promise, sister.”
“I’m going to be fine, you’ll see.”
Amelia helped her out of the bath and handed her a towel. “I meant what I said. I will Ouija your ass if you die on me. If there’s one thing I do not want to hear from Jake, it’s ‘I fucking told you’.”
“He won’t say it. I promise.”
Holly went to her room and pulled on her pajamas. She took a few calming breaths. She was still furious with Jake, but the anger wasn’t good for the boys.
She went downstairs and made herself a cup of hot chocolate. She still didn’t feel quite at home here, but Jamie did, and that was all that mattered. It also mattered that it wasn’t the same house he’d shared with Kate, though Rodney told her that one was gorgeous.
This house was surrounded by big beautiful trees and had two extra rooms, so the boys could each have their own rooms..
They were already part of her life; why couldn’t everyone just accept that?
She sat down at the kitchen island and opened her laptop so she could Skype with Bernie, like they did almost every night.
Bernie’s new son was such a beautiful, healthy baby. She’d named him Donovan, and he was born a week after Jamie’s birthday.
“Just give him time, Holly,” Bernie said after Holly relayed her phone call with Jake.
Holly huffed.
“Don’t you even dare think it.”
Holly sighed. “Think what?”
“That what if you don’t have time. You promised to fight, and you do not have the luxury to think about what if’s right now.”
“I know. I just don’t think he’s ever going to get on board with this, Bernie.”
“Then give him a fucking ultimatum. Be hard on him.”
She laughed mirthlessly. “I have and he’s still not here.”
“You go girl. And if he is that type of idiot, fuck him.”
“Watch it,” Amelia hissed at she came into the kitchen.
“He is an idiot, Melia,” Bernie snapped.
“I know but he is still my brother.”
They bantered with each other playfully until Bernie had to end the call because Donovan woke up.
She missed Bernie but she was glad that Amelia was here with her. Amelia was a great help with Jamie.
Amelia assisted Holly to the couch and put a blanket over her as Holly rested her head against the soft armrest.
She closed her eyes for a moment, then felt Amelia getting off the couch.
“Someone is here,” Amelia said and Holly opened her eyes.
She couldn’t hear anything, but she saw headlights reflecting through the curtains.
“Probably Rodney,” Holly said and she closed her eyes again.
It was about the right time for him and he had said he’d come over tonight or tomorrow.
He was just as worried as Bernie, but they’d all promised to stand with her and help Holly fight.
The door opened.
“Amelia, can you please give me and Holly a moment,” Jake’s voice said.
Holly’s eyes open and her heart fluttered. He was home.
“Daddy!” Jamie ran into his arms and he picked her up and kissed her. A grunt left his mouth as she hugged him.
“I missed you so much!” Jamie sang.
“I missed you more.” He looked over at Amelia. “Go home. I’m sure Armand misses you.”
“Jake.”
“You can come back tomorrow and be all jolly again.”
“Fine.” Amelia walked over to Holly and kissed her on the cheek. “Phone me if he is being an ass, okay?” She squeezed Holly’s shoulder, then picked up her purse from the coffee table and left.
Jake put Jamie down and gave her a doll.
“Look, Mommy.”
“I see. And it’s not even your birthday or anything,” Holly said, raising an eyebrow a Jake.
“Thank you, Daddy.” She ran over to him again and he crouched so she could wrap her arms around his neck.
“Go play in your room, I’ll be there in a bit, okay pumpkin?”
“Okay,” she yelled and ran with her present to the room.
“You are spoiling her too much.”
Jake didn’t say anything and as Holly took her eyes off Jamie’s retreating figure back to him, she saw him pinching the bridge of his nose.
Even when he looked like a horrible mess, he was still sexy.
She hated that.
“I swear if you die on me…”
Her lips curved and she clamped them together to stifle her smile.
“It’s not funny, Holly. This is serious shit.”
“I know, Jake. I’ve dealt with cancer before. But the difference is, I know I can beat this.”
“Fine. Tell me what the plan is,” he said as he walked and sat down on the couch across from her.
“Deliver the boys, then Robin will do what she has to do to get the cancer out of me.”
“So, there’s no fucking plan.”
“Not yet.”
“But it’s fucking spreading, Holly.”
“Jake, I have four more weeks left. Just four more. Then you can hack away.”
“I don’t fucking want to hack away anything, Holly. That’s my fucking point.”
“So, you want me to hate you so much that I’ll never be able to look at you again? Because that’s what will happen if I get an abortion.”
His face fell and he sighed. “No.”
“You want me to fight.”
“Yes, hard.”
“Then get my boys to live and I will fight, Jake. Don’t become the monster your mother made you out to be.”
“Holly, I’m not.”
“Right now, you are, because you want me to kill our children.”
“You are sick, sweetheart, it’s a complete fucking different story.”
“I won’t fight if I kill them or lose them, Jake. It will destroy me. I cannot go through that again. I won’t. You have no fucking clue how hard it was for me after Romalia died, and that death wasn’t planned. Do you know how much I will hate you, and myself, if I got an abortion? They are healthy, and they can survive this. I will survive this if I have them to live for. So stop asking me to abort them and help me.” A sob tore through her throat and she covered her face.
She felt his arms around her and he hugged her tight.
“I’m sorry.”
It felt so good to have his arms around her again.
“This is all my fault.”
“No, it’s not. You didn’t force me into this.”
“You sure about that?” he joked and she laughed through her tears.
“I’ll try to be more understanding, and I’ll do whatever is in my power to get you through this.”
She nodded.
“But you have to do your part.”
“I promise,” she said.
“Okay,” He brushed a kiss over her lips and she darted her tongue out, urging him to deepen the kiss.
She hadn’t been joking when she’d texted him that she was horny.
Fourteen
HOLLY
Having Jake onboard made everything easier and Holly felt amazing during the next two weeks, her heart lightened by the fact that he was here.
They even made love with the big bump and all. Not without difficulty though.
The first time, Jake wanted to give up, but Holly’s entire body had tingled, and she refused, so they’d tried every position they could think of until they found one that worked perfectly.
And the sex was even more mind-blowing than before.
It must have been the hormones or something, she didn’t know, but it was out of this world.
Some days, they even did it multiple times. That was how crazy she became.
Her sex drive was over the top.
But his leave was almost up. More and more cases piled up and it was almost time to go back to work.
Amelia would come back soon for good. She came to check up on Holly at least once a day, only to have Jake chase her away.
The festive season was so beautiful in Boston.
On a day when Holly felt well enough to leave the house, she and Jake took Jamie to go look at all the Christmas lights, and they felt like a proper family. For once, it didn’t feel like her cancer was looming over them like a dark cloud.
They went to a small restaurant for dinner, but halfway through their meal, a strong wave of dizziness swept over her and she fainted.
She woke up in the hospital, with her mother in a chair next to her.
“What happened?”
“You fainted, sweetheart. I need to go and get Robin.”
Her mother left and she stared at the boys heartbeat. It was fast, healthy. Not like Jamie and Romy’s had been. She glanced around to room for Jake, but he wasn’t there.
Robin walked into the room. The look on her face said it all. “It’s time, Holly.”
“No, I need to carry them for two more weeks.”
“No. Holly, you have to face the facts. It’s now or I can’t help you.”
“Robin, you are a Peters. One of the best, don’t say that.”
“You don’t have to stroke my ego, Holly. This is insane. I’m not the type to give up but we have to start finding organs.”
“I don’t want to hear it.”
“No, you have to. I might be able to save a part of your liver, the one kidney still might to work, if I can get the cancer away with laser treatment. Holly, two more weeks and you will die, because the cancer is spreading to your pancreas. In two more week, I won’t be able to help you anymore. But if you deliver now, I can help you.”
Holly swallowed hard. Hearing Robin say that out loud weakened her resolve.
“Please just deliver them now,” Robin begged her.
“It’s five and a half months.”
“It’s more than what your daughters got. I’m trying to save your life for your children. I can’t do that if you fight me on this.”
“Just phone Gus,” Jane said. “Hear what he has to say, and I’ll phone Frank.”
Holly nodded. “Where is Jake?”
“In a surgery. He said he would try his best to be here, Holly.”
She nodded, tears blurring her vision.
Jane left the room to go phone Frank. Holly knew her mother was scared, but she needed them to stay positive.
Even if Frank got on the first flight out, he wouldn’t make it here in time. Armand was her boys’ best hope right now.
Gus finally came and he looked at the monitor to see if Bradly and Cooper were doing fine.
“Will they make it if I deliver now?”
“We did all we could for them, it’s your turn to fight now.”
She nodded.
“Armand will be in the surgery. He’s just busy with another situation. He promised he would do whatever he needs to do to save the boys’ lives, Holly.”
She nodded again.
“Don’t be scared. You have a really great team of doctors who love you.”
She laughed through her tears.
“All you have to do is fight.”
She nodded again.
Her own heartbeat was beating like crazy.
“Can I give her something to calm her, Dr. Peters?” Gus asked Robin.
“You sure can, Dr. Peters,” she replied and Holly laughed.
“You’re going to be okay.”
She looked down at her stomach. She couldn’t give them more time.
Please, don’t let me lose them, she prayed as tears filled her eyes. She couldn’t go through that pain again.
Romy was one too many.
“Where is Amelia and Jamie?”
“At home, packing your bag. They’ll be here soon. I have the OR booked and ready to go. It’s time, Holly.”
“Okay,” Holly said again.
“I’ll meet you there,” Gus said and left the room. “Text your brother, Robin.”
She grunted.
Holly smiled.
“It’s not funny. He’s like a bear with a sore tooth and a huge stick up his ass,” Robin said as she took out her phone.
Holly grabbed her own phone from the bedside table. She needed to let Jake know that she was going to make it out of surgery. And he had to make sure the boys would pull through.
I love you, and make sure my boys are fine.
She smiled as she pushed the send button.
She knew he wouldn’t get it in time, but hoped that he’d know how much she loved him.
Her phone buzzed with a voice note from him.
She hit play.
“They are my boys, too, and you better wake up, woman.”
Holly laughed, and then a text came through.
I love you more.
She doubted that.
She wanted to live. She needed to live.
“We are taking a huge fucking chance, Holly. I’m not lying to you. My dad is going to deliver the babies and I’ll try to cut out as much as I can. Maybe I can save one of your kidneys and a piece of your liver and radiate the rest with a dose of chemo.” She nodded her head. “Yes, that might work.”
“Solid plan.”
“It has to be for now.”
She was glad that Robin had a plan and she was glad that her mother was here. She just wished she could see Jamie and Jake before she went into surgery.
Bernice, Rodney, Frank… everyone she cared about flew through her mind.
What if she never woke up? What if she didn’t say goodbye to them? What then?
You cannot think like that, Holly. You just can’t.
She should have made love to Jake one last time.
You can’t think like that, she yelled in her head.
You are going to beat this. It’s not going to take your life.
She took a few deep breaths.
“You okay?”
“I’m peaches,” she said with a shaky voice.
“It’s okay to be afraid, Holly.”
“I can’t afford to be afraid, Robin.”
Robin had tears in her eyes. “You listen to me. You have to fight this. I’m not losing my brother like that again, you hear?”
Holly studied Robin’s face. Even though she’d heard how hard it had been on Jake from so many people, it was different hearing it from Robin, especially since Robin’s eyes shone with tears. Robin almost never cried.
“Robin?”
“No, Holly. You know what happened after your disappearance. You know he smashed up his BMW, and he went to look for you, but what you don’t know is that when my parents and Amelia found him in Seattle, when that lie fell on him and became his reality, that was the day I lost my brother.” She wiped at her eyes. “I guess I understand why he doesn’t want to forgive our mother. She turned him into something he wasn’t. Sh
e brainwashed him to never ask you about the baby and what happened if he ever saw you again. She tried to erase you from his mind. There was a time when I though she succeeded. He got better, but he was no longer my brother. He was a stranger that just looked like my brother. None of us talked to him the way we used to and I guess it’s one of the reasons why Amelia hated you so much.” She sniffed. “It carried on like that for a year, then he slept with everything that had strawberry-blonde hair and did fucked up things. I was ashamed to call him my brother.” She paused. “Finally, he went to China, and we all thought he was getting his life back on track. When he came back from China, he was Jake again. But after a while, I realized it was all just an act. You see, I’m a great observer and when no one was looking Jake was still miserable.”
One of the pictures in Amelia’s house flashed through Holly’s mind. The one where he was staring at nothing. Was that what Robin meant? The times he lowered his guard.
“He pretended for our sake, probably some Chinese wisdom he learned. I knew I would never get my brother back. Until about a year ago. At first I didn’t understand what the fuck he was going through.”
Amelia had told Holly the same thing.
“He was so confused, even Kate worried about him. He was fighting against something none of us could see. Even my mother worried about him. One Sunday, we wanted to intervene and Jake just rocked up completely different. I thought he knew what it was we wanted to do and decided to pretend again, but,” more tears pooled in her eyes, “when no one was looking, I saw my brother for the first time again, Holly. He wasn’t the sad person he tried to hide. He was daydreaming again with a grin on his face. He was happy.” She rubbed a hand over her face.
Holly swiped at her own eyes.
“I thought that Kate was finally enough for him and that the past few years was over. We made jokes again, and even my mother start seeing the real Jake. And then that breakdown happened.”
“What breakdown?”
She huffed with a smile. “The one at P&E. Rodney didn’t tell you, did he?”
She shook her head.
“I guess it was right after you told him to choose and he couldn’t choose you because of us. I watched my brother being torn in two from something invisible again, and the stranger came back.” She took a huge breath. “That entire month none of us knew what the hell was going on with him. But I knew it was the wedding. He didn’t want to get married to Kate. I even told my mother to break the wedding off. To do something, but she just ignored it. I even mentioned your name, and that I was no longer going to just pretend he was okay.” She laughed. “You know what her reply was? Kate was the best thing that ever happened to him and we had to push him to see it. Push him! What type of a mother would push her child onto someone who was far from the right person for her child?”
Endless Love: The 4Ever series #3 Page 14
