Endless Love: The 4Ever series #3

by Isabella White

  He dialed Charles’s number.

  “Charles Scallanger.”

  Jake sniffed. “It’s Jake. Before you put down the phone, you need to know that you have two healthy newborn grandsons, but Holly isn’t doing so well.” He was sure that Jane told him about the cancer.

  “I know about the cancer.”

  “You really are not even trying?”

  “My daughter made her choice the minute—”

  “I don’t want to fight. She is going to lose her life, she’s going to die if she doesn’t get a healthy fucking kidney and liver. It’s all I wanted to tell you.” He put down the phone and cussed. Fucking asshole. He hoped he never became that bitter that he didn’t even care about his children.

  He prayed to be a better father than what Charles Scallanger ever was.

  Eighteen

  HOLLY

  Holly was in the hospital for a week, and then she went home. She had dialysis three days a week, but her liver was the problem.

  She looked more and more like a yellow monster until Jake took her to the hospital again one night. She was in so much pain, and sick.

  They were searching everywhere for someone that was O negative. But there was nothing. Her father hadn’t even bothered to come.

  She was going to lose this battle and it wasn’t even cancer.

  She got admitted again and was put back on dialysis. She felt better after a few days, but they wouldn’t discharge her.

  She could see that Jake was losing hope and Devenn’s face said it all.

  All he kept telling her was that she was on the transplant list for both a kidney and a liver.

  She tried to keep her spirits high, but it was hard.

  Everything around her was crashing down.

  No hope. Not even from her father.

  She was still tired, but she was glad the cancer was gone.

  But if Devenn didn’t find her a kidney and a liver soon, she had to face the facts. His surname wasn’t Peters. She didn’t have faith in him the way Robin had. Jake didn’t even like the guy.

  Then Jake started talking crazy about the black market and whatnot.

  “Are you insane? No!” She had no more strength. She wasn’t certain if the dialysis was working like it was supposed to.

  What did this mean?

  Was it the reason her path crossed with his again, to make sure that Jamie found her father before Holly died? Was that her fate?

  She wanted to cry but she needed to put on a brave facade.

  Not even her mother was a match.

  Why did she have to be born with this blood type?

  She was losing hope. Every day when Robin came to visit, more hope went out the door.

  She hated her room, even if it contained things from home. She just wanted to be with her family.

  A knock came at her door and she waited for whoever it was to enter.

  It opened and a pepper-haired older version of a once-handsome man entered.

  He stared at her as tears filled his eyes.

  “Dad.” She smiled. “What are you doing here?”

  “I came to see you.” He walked in the room with his head hanging low.

  His steps were slow and his shoulders shook. He was crying.

  “Dad, this is a no-crying room.”

  He sniffed. “Don’t give me that crap. What do you need, Holly?”

  “Your money isn’t good here. And besides it’s illegal to buy what I need.”

  “Still the kidney and liver.”

  “Dad, it’s not a packet of candy or pocket money.”

  “You’re my daughter. It’s the least I can do.”

  “It’s not your obligation.”

  “It’s not an obligation, Holly. Dammit,. I know I’m not the easiest man out there and I have made more mistakes than a normal person. I promise myself that I would never set a foot into a hospital again after Jamie, and I managed to avoid it, but here I am again, Holly. Next to another child’s bed. How many do you want me to lose, because I won’t make it this time.”

  She stared at her father. It was the first time he’d mentioned her sister’s name in such a long time.

  “I beat myself up every single day that I wasn’t there for you or your mother when Jamie died. I took the easy way out.”

  “Yeah, you were a real role model for me, Dad. I know how it feels to run out of someone’s life.” Tears filled her eyes.

  “Don’t try to make excuses for him, Holly.”

  “Dad, I’m not making excuses. It really happened. He isn’t talking to his mother, he hates her for all the lies she told. Who do you think is trying to save my life? It’s not your money this time. It’s his, and all his family. I have the support I need. If you don’t want to be here, then please, just go.”

  “That’s not what I meant.”

  “I know what you meant, Dad. But we both know you are not the kind to stick around.”

  He nodded, kissed her on her head and left her room.

  Holly wept as he left. She loved her dad, even though he was such an asshole, she loved him.

  Her mother came in and wrapped her arms around her.

  “I’m so sorry, if I knew he was coming I would’ve been here.”

  “Why is he even here? How does he know?”

  “I told him about the cancer. It must have taken some time for him to realize how bad it got.”

  She nodded her head. “He hates Jake, Jake hates his mother, and everyone is just fighting with everyone. When is it going to stop?”

  “Not with your death, sweetheart. It would do more damage than peace. You have to hold on. Devenn is doing everything to get a kidney and hopefully a liver for you.”

  “Mom, all the kidneys he gets is not a match. It’s never going to be a match. I have to start preparing for the worst.”

  “Holly, I’m not listening to this.” Her mother stormed out of the room.

  She needed a pen and a paper and she knew nobody was going to give it to her. Not one of the family members. Not the Peters either. The Peters would kill her if they knew that she wanted to be prepared for the worst.

  Her father was back the next day. He brought her a juice and a packet of sweets and what looked like stationary.

  She frowned down at the packet of envelopes and a few packets of paper.

  “I thought you might want to write… the things you might not…” He turned his head and wiped at his eyes. “My blood type is not a match.”

  “What? How is that even possible?”

  “I asked the same question and it’s just as rare as your blood type, but it does happen. I’m so sorry.”

  Holy’s heart broke for her father. “I’m sorry, Dad, for everything,” she sobbed.

  He got up and wrapped his arms around her. It felt so good. “You have nothing to be sorry about. I wish I could give you a kidney. I wish I was there for you and I would take what you are going through right now, if that was how things worked, but I can’t, Holly. I can’t do any of those things. I never was a great father to you, and still today I’m a crappy one.”

  “Dad, you are not a crappy—”

  “I can’t stay, Holly. I tried. I can’t. I can’t breathe knowing that I’m probably going to lose you, too. I only know how to deal with things one way. I don’t know how to sit and wait.”

  She looked at her father.

  He was an asshole but she understood where he came from. He didn’t have a Jake in his life, just a Gabby that spent his money left, right, and center.

  “I’m sorry. I wish I could forgive the way you can, and I do hope you get what you need, sweetheart. So that one day when I’m old and bitter, and hopefully find my way back to you, that you could find it in your heart to forgive me. I’m not built this way, sweetheart. I’m sorry.” Tears streamed down his face as he got up, kissed her on her head and walked away.

  Holly shook her head in disbelief.

  He’d just walked out of her life. He couldn’t handle this, h
e couldn’t handle watching her die.

  He was a bastard, but he was the only that saw the truth and he’d brought her the things she needed without even her asking him for it.

  She put the stationary under her pillow, under the linen. Tonight, when she was alone, she would start preparing for the future. The future she wouldn’t be a part of.

  Aggie caught her later that night as she was writing one of the letters. She wasn’t happy that Holly was giving up, but Holy told her it was just a precaution. She would burn the letters when Devenn waltzed in with a kidney.

  She’d written a few letters to the boys—they were the hardest as she had no idea what sort of personalities they’d have. They were still so young. All she could do was write about the things she wanted for them. She addressed the letters to the both of them. She hadn’t wanted to, but she had to believe their twin bond would be strong all through their life. She had to believe that they wouldn’t resent her for not writing individual letters.

  * * *

  To Cooper and Bradley.

  For your 7th birthday

  * * *

  I love you boys so much. Happy birthday, my studs.

  I wish I was there with you today to see the over-the-top birthday your father, aunt, grandpa and everyone threw you. But just know I’m there, watching over you.

  I can’t tell you enough how special both you boys are to Mommy, but know I am always around you, watching over my two boys.

  Love your sister, play nice with her. She is the only girl in the house and girls cry easily.

  Give Daddy hugs, even if you don’t want to, he needs them.

  Seven is a big year, my darlings.

  Do well with everything you guys are taking on. But most of all, have fun. Nothing is worth it if it isn’t fun.

  Remember to laugh, be silly, be crazy, make jokes, run, play in puddles and most of all love each other. Having a twin is the best friend you could ever have.

  Love your sister for me. Give her hugs and kisses.

  Know I’m always with you both inside your hearts and in your dreams.

  * * *

  Love,

  Mom.

  * * *

  To Bradley and Cooper

  On your 8th birthday

  * * *

  My boys are eight, you grow way too fast. I am sure your party is packed with buddies. I hope you took my advice the last time I spoke to you.

  Eight is the year things get a bit harder. You might learn how easy it is to fool grownups around you, playing tricks and make everyone crazy with misleading who is who. See, I know you two.

  STOP IT RIGHT NOW! I am not there to tell you apart. A mother always knows her boys.

  It’s not nice.

  But today you will get a free pass as it’s your day. So go crazy.

  I hope the day is filled with happiness and love, I hope it’s filled with laughter, fun and games.

  But most of all, I hope you know I’m right there with you when you blow out your candles. Remember I’m always close by, even if you can’t see me, and I will always be inside your dreams.

  Love you like mad.

  PS. Listen to your aunt and don’t give your dad too much gray hair.

  * * *

  Love,

  Mom.

  * * *

  And so she went on. Going through all their big days, turning sixteen, graduation, marriage.

  * * *

  To Bradley and Cooper on your wedding day.

  * * *

  It feels strange writing this to both of you, having the one read it when I don’t even know if you’re both getting married.

  Today, I want to tell you how much I loved your father, and how much he loved me. I don’t know if anyone ever told you our love story, but it was one to beat the ages. I ran away from him, and for five years, we never spoke to each other. But your father was the man I loved with everything in my heart and my soul, and I hope you’ve found that kind of love that could withstand a five-year reprieve, and all the things we had to withstand.

  I hope the woman you are marrying today, is the kind of woman that you would search for to the end of the earth if she ever ran away. Because, my boys, that is lasting love, and I want nothing less for you.

  Treasure your wife, and show her you love her every single day. Don’t ever make her doubt your love for her.

  * * *

  I love you.

  Mom

  * * *

  And a letter for the birth of their first child.

  She even wrote them a letter for Jamie’s big days. Her first boyfriend, her wedding, how she didn’t want them to do stupid things to their sister.

  It wasn’t as easy as she thought cause the Bradley and Cooper she was seeing behind her closed eye lids could not even be the Bradley and Cooper they would turn out to be one day.

  She just hope that they would be okay. She put the envelopes away as it was almost visiting hour and tonight she would carry on.

  It took her two days to finish the boys’ letters and then she started on Jamie’s.

  The hospital was quiet. Jake just left, thinking she was asleep and she picked up her pen and paper again to start with Jamie’s letters.

  She started with her seventh birthday too.

  * * *

  Dearest peanut.

  I’m so sorry that I’m not physically here today, but I’m here in spirit. I see you in a beautiful princess dress. Rodney dressed as some villain, your daddy as the prince and sorry about the mess Cooper and Bradley is making. If they break your toys, don’t be mad. It’s what little brothers do. I would give anything to hold you in my arms again, to kiss your head and to smell the strawberry shampoo you love so much clinging in your hair…”

  She cried as she kept on writing her letter for her eight birthday.

  Then her ninth one came. She wondered what Jamie would look like. If she would be happy. Her birthday party would be slightly different or starting to change.

  She made another apology for her brothers again, they would be at that impossible stage, irritating the living crap out of their sister.

  The tenth, eleventh and twelve birthday was just as difficult. Then the teenage years come. Her sweet sixteen.

  * * *

  “My dearest, beautiful girl.

  Just know as I sit here, writing your letter, I struggle to breathe just knowing that you are sixteen today. I know that you must be the most beautiful girl at school and I feel sorry for your dad. All those boys. But I would give anything to be there, to laugh at him worrying at you, as I know you would be such an upstanding young woman, and you wouldn’t do the things that Daddy fears you would do. I know you are going to wait for that special someone as that is the princess I raised.

  You are such a special little girl and I hope you know how special you are. I’m sure Daddy and aunty Amelia keeps telling you that every day of your life.

  Sixteen is a big year, baby. You’re just discovering where you are fitting in, and I’m sure you are one of the popular girls, but that doesn’t mean that you have to be mean.

  Give others chances. Rodney was Mommy’s strangest friend and look how he changed our life. I hope you have someone like him in yours. They are great when it comes to producing a manly shoulder to cry on. No strings attach.

  Don’t fight too much with your father. It only means he loves you so much, that he feels he needs to hold on a bit tighter. Give him the benefit of the doubt, and try not to give him too many gray hairs. He is already too sexy, but I’m sure that you don’t want to hear that.

  She smiled as she finished her letter.

  * * *

  Eighteenth was just as difficult. She was sure that Jamie would know where she was going to go, which medical school. She smiled, but she would be surprised if she would go into another profession.

  She also know that by now she would probably had a few boyfriends, who knows maybe met a special someone, and pray that he was going to be her Jake Peters. She wrote ano
ther letter, a letter for the day every girl needed her mother. Her first broken heart.

  * * *

  Jamie,

  I know you feel like your heart is being shredded, and that you’ll never love another boy again. I wish I was there, to hold you as you cry, to stroke your hair and tell you that a better boy will come along. To laugh when your father threatens to kill the boy that broke your heart.

  Did your father ever tell you that he broke my heart? You should ask him about that story, baby. Let him tell you how we found each other again.

  Love is strong, pumpkin. And with the right person, nothing can keep you apart.

  I want you to wallow, baby. Wallow in self-pity and eat all the ice cream you can stomach until you feel better. And cry. A good cry is always healing.

  There’ll be other boys, better boys.

  * * *

  I love you, sweetheart.

  Mom.

  * * *

  Then she wrote a letter for her nineteenth birthday. She knew that she was talking to a grown up. She refused to imagine what Jamie as a grown up would be like. She wanted to be there so badly for it, but she had to be prepared. Even if she got a kidney, the chances were small that her body would accept it.

  Then the big one came, her twenty-first. She was a woman and she wrote the speech she would’ve given at her birthday party. The one that was going to make her feel slightly embarrassed, the one that was going to make her feel special and the one that was going to fill her with so much excitement and hope for the future.

  Her wrist was becoming tired, but she carried on writing.

  It too came to an end and she put that letter in an envelope.

  She didn’t have strength for the next letter. It was on her wedding day. Holly didn’t have any experiences to write down and she was sure that she would have another woman she called mother in that room with her. She chose to write about her. She wrote about her special day, and what she would’ve given her. Something blue, something new, and something borrowed.