by Vera Quinn
Ellie and Logan both sat up quickly. Logan stepped in front of her to shield her from her mother’s view. Ellie pushed him aside as she clutched her shirt across her chest. Logan was surprised considering how Ellie always cowed to her mother, but now Ellie was standing beside him, unafraid, unashamed.
“What is going on here?” Alicia hissed out as she rounded the couch. “What the hell do you think you are doing?”
“Mother,” Ellie began angrily. “What are you doing here?”
Alicia scoffed and pushed past Ellie like she wasn’t there. She jabbed Logan in the chest and he scooted back, not even wanting her finger on him. She had been really aggressive, and he didn’t want her to touch him.
“I will deal with you later,” Alicia said as she advanced on Logan again, not even looking at Ellie. Logan held up his hands, not wanting to touch her or make things worse. Even though Ellie was a grown woman, her mother’s opinion mattered to her. Logan knew the type of woman her mother was but didn’t think that Ellie knew it or the full details of her parents’ divorce.
“You can deal with me now,” Ellie said as she slipped her shirt over her head and gripped her mother’s shoulder, turning her around. “I’m an adult and you need to talk to me.”
Logan and Alicia looked at Ellie, both startled that she had stood up to her mother. Ellie was a gentle creature and had a habit of not standing up for herself. Logan had seen it time and time again over the time he’d known them, but suddenly his girl had grown a spine, and damn, he liked it. If he hadn’t wanted her before, he sure as hell did now. Logan was in awe of the beautiful woman standing in front of him.
Ellie
She felt hot and her heart was racing as she watched her mother’s eyes go round. She felt more alive than she had in a long time. Her palms were sweating, but she knew this had to be done. She stood up taller and glared into her mother’s eyes. She had lived under her mother’s thumb for years, even before the cancer, before the divorce. So much of her life had been lived in fear of what her mother would say and she had enough.
“I said you need to deal with me,” Ellie said firmly, folding her arms over her chest and staring her mother down. “Talk to me.”
Alicia’s eyes widened further, but she stared her down anyway. Ellie felt her body shake but knew she had to stand up to her. Logan stood by and tried to step in front of her, but she put a hand on his bicep to restrain him. Logan stepped back and Ellie squeezed his arm, telling him with a touch that she was ready.
“How dare you talk to me like that?” Alicia screeched as she grabbed Ellie’s arm and shook it. “What do you think is going to happen here? That you are going to ride off into the sunset with him?”
“I don’t know but that is my choice.”
Alicia sat down with a small thump on the couch and threw her Coach purse down. “Your choice? This is not your choice. Why do you think he’s here, because he likes you? Who do you think pays his salary?”
Ellie smiled down at her. “You and Daddy do, but I am an adult and can make my own choices.”
“You have never made a choice on your own in your life. You would be nothing without us.”
Logan stepped forward and growled menacingly. Ellie held one hand up to stop him and put her other hand on his arm turning him to face her. “I can handle her. I have to do this on my own.”
“But you need me. I can help you.”
Ellie smiled and handed him his jacket. “I can handle this, trust me.” She smiled up into his eyes and hugged him tightly. “Then I can handle you.”
Logan chocked and laughed, knowing he could trust her to handle this. There was nothing Alicia could say that would wreck things. Ellie was in a better place than he’d ever seen her and he knew she could manage it. Ellie smiled as he walked out the door with one last smile in her direction. Ellie had never felt more hopeful.
Ellie
The door shut with a click and Ellie turned to where her mother was waiting on the couch. Her mother’s thin leg shook with rage as she glared across the distance between them. Ellie normally would have been petrified, but she knew that this was the only option. She had to make her mother see that she was able to make her own decisions, she had to. This was her life, and it was time that she lived it. Logan would back her up and knowing that he was behind her one hundred percent made her feel brave.
She sat down gently, still nursing her leg. She steepled her fingers and looked her mother in the eye. “You know,” she said slowly, “that I am perfectly capable of making my own decisions. I don’t actually need your approval. I am nineteen.”
“Yes,” Alicia said with a growl, “but you do need our support. You and your precious boy toy would be out on your asses if we stopped paying for this place.”
“You are being ridiculous, Mother,” Ellie said as she put her head back against the couch cushions. “You are being a bitch too. You know that Daddy pays for it all.”
“How dare you!” Alicia screamed as she jumped to her feet and stalked back and forth. “I worked hard for years to get where I am. I deserve it all. I would have had it all, if I hadn’t gotten pregnant.” She shivered in rage and Ellie knew that she didn’t know what she was saying. Ellie prayed she didn’t.
“What do you mean? Because you were pregnant?”
“I can’t be any clearer,” she said in a nasty voice. “I was so worried about being pregnant that I wasn’t on my game, so… I... got... hurt.”
The realization of what her mother was saying sank in slowly. Ellie’s heart began to break a piece at a time as she tried to put it all in perspective. Her mother needed no extra time to think before she spoke and she continued on her tirade without stopping.
“So don’t tell me that I don’t deserve everything I’m getting. I deserve so much more for what I’ve had to put up with, my figure, my future ruined! I deserve it all.”
“So you consider having me a mistake?” Ellie asked slowly. “You didn’t want me?”
“Don’t be silly,” she said in a huff as she paced back and forth. “Of course I did, once I had no choice.”
“Mother!” Ellie shouted horrified. “Do you hear yourself? This is not all about you! This is about me. For once, this is about me!”
Alicia stopped and stared open mouthed at Ellie. “Why would you talk to me like that? You say you’re an adult and now you don’t want the truth. You can’t have it both ways.”
Ellie’s eyes welled up as she looked at the woman she had idolized her whole life. Nothing she had ever done was good enough for her, but she’d never stopped trying to be. Now looking at the beautiful shell that had once been a promising young ballerina, she realized that nothing she could ever do would be good enough. She had always thought that her mother loved her. Somewhere inside, in her own selfish way, Ellie supposed she did, but Ellie knew that her mother would always hate her on some level for the ruin of her career. Ellie wiped the tears away as she shakily stood.
“Get out,” she said quietly as she held onto the couch for support. “I want you to leave and not come back until I call you.”
Alicia’s mouth opened in an O of surprise as Ellie grabbed her mother’s purse and her arm and pulled her to the door. She opened the door and threw her purse out into the hallway before shoving her mother out too. “Eleanore!” her mother shouted as she scrambled to pick up her purse and her high-end makeup from the floor. “I will not stand for this kind of treatment. I deserve respect.”
“The only thing you deserve is not to get a swift kick in the ass on your way out,” Ellie growled as she kicked a rolling disk of loose face powder in her mother’s direction. “You were lucky to have Daddy and I but now you don’t have to worry about it. I need positive people in my life, who love me and that is not you. So, I’m sorry you regret having me and that I ruined your life, but I won’t let you ruin mine.”
“Ellie,” her mother whined as she stood with hands on hips. “Don’t do this, you need me.”
“What I ne
ed is for you to get away from me,” Ellie said softly as she slammed the door in her mother’s face. Her mother pounded on the door but Ellie ignored it, throwing the lock home and keeping her out. She limped back to the couch and felt the tears dripping down her cheeks. Finding out that her mother never wanted her tormented and ripped at her. Ellie sniffled and tried to get ahold of herself but the words kept rolling around in her head over and over. Ellie pushed her hair behind her ears as she picked up her phone and dialed. She wanted to do this on her own but she was smart enough to know when she needed help, and she needed it now.
Logan
Ellie: I need you. Please.
Logan jumped up so fast, the dishes on the table rocked. He’d been waiting at home for her to call, wanting to be ready if she needed him. Now he was out the door and, in his car, faster than he’d ever imagined possible. He needed to get to her now.
He ran several lights on the way but didn’t give a damn. He skidded into a parking spot and raced in. He pushed the door open without knocking and stopped at the sight of Ellie rocking slowly on the couch. He dropped his keys and jacket on the floor and kicked the door shut. He reached her in a heartbeat and picked her up into his arms. He sat down, wrapping himself around her like he’d always dreamed, but he hadn’t wanted it to be like this.
“El, what can I do to help you? What did she say?”
“She… She said she didn’t want me, that I ruined her career and her life,” she said shakily, sounding to Logan’s ears like someone who had lost everything. Logan had never wanted to hit a woman so much as he wanted to hit Alicia right now. She was lucky she wasn’t here. He gently tipped Ellie’s face up to his and wiped her tears away.
“You know you didn’t ruin anything. You are a gift,” he said quietly.
“Not according to my mother. She blames me for her accident, blames me for everything.”
Logan growled knowing that Alicia was the most selfish person on the planet. The only time she’d ever shown any emotion was when Ellie had been in the hospital when he’d first met them all. Since then, the loving mother had disappeared behind the woman who would cheat on her husband and blame her daughter for the end of her dancing career.
“Your mother’s accident was her own fault. You had nothing to do with it.”
“But she was pregnant and blames her fall on her worry about being pregnant.”
“That bitch,” Logan ground out in a low voice that did not bode well for Alicia.
“She even blames me for my own career being over, as if I could control getting cancer.”
Logan was stunned and speechless as he listened to her mother’s venomous words drip from Ellie’s mouth. His whole body shuddered with barely controlled rage. How could anyone blame their daughter for getting cancer?
“Listen,” he ground out, barely keeping his rage out of his voice as he made her look at him again. “You are not to blame for your mother’s accident or your cancer. Your mother is a cold, unfeeling bitch who only cares about herself. You know that, right?”
“Yes,” she said softly but he could still see the pain lurking in her eyes.
“Ellie, you are beautiful and smart. You can have anything you want. You have your whole life ahead of you. You can do anything.
“Except dance,” she said shakily as she burrowed into his chest. “I thought I wouldn’t miss it but I do.”
Logan looked at her, knowing she was right but wanting to make it all bearable again. He sat her down and went over to the sound system switching it on. He looked for the song he wanted then turned to her and held out his hand. He was going to tell her in the only way he knew that everything was going to be alright. He was going to show her.
Ellie looked up into his eyes and then stared at his hand in confusion. Logan smiled and wiggled his fingers in invitation. “The Way You Look Tonight” by Fred Astaire began to play on the sound system and despite her pain and sadness, Ellie began to smile. Ellie wiped her eyes at his choice of her favorite old movie song as she slipped her hand into his and allowed him to pull her gently to her feet.
“No matter what happens,” Logan said softly, “I am always glad that you are here, no matter what your mother says. I happen to like you a lot.”
“A lot?” she asked quietly as he stepped toward her, wrapping her in his arms. “That’s it?”
“Actually, I love you,” he said with a flourish as he picked her up and placed her on his feet. “I figure I have for quite a while. Probably since I saw how brave you were after the surgery.”
She gasped in surprise as she settled on his feet and he began to sway. “What are you doing? I’m going to break your feet.”
Logan smiled as he began to move slowly so he didn’t hurt her leg. “You wanted to dance, so I’m going to allow you to dance.”
“Logan, I don’t deserve you,” she said shakily as she held onto him, thankful to have her rock in her life. “But God knows, I love you.”
“That’s what I was waiting to hear,” Logan said softly as he continued to dance them around the room as Fred Astaire continued to sing her favorite song. Ellie smiled and laid her head on his shoulder as he helped her to dance again.
Promise to Dance
Chianti Summers
Dedication
To the ladies at CSA – Thank you for allowing me to observe class to learn and see beautiful movements. Love, Chianti Summers.
Chapter One
Damien
“Hey, Pops,” I greet my dad as I come through the front door of our ranch-style home here in Bakerstown.
“Hey, Son,” he replies with a wave of his hand as he sits on the couch watching his show. He hits pause on the remote to glance up at me and asks, “How was dance today?”
“Fantastic. Great workout. Want to try some of the moves?” I do a quick twirl with a wide grin.
Pops slides to the front of the couch, pushing himself up to a standing position. “Son, you know all I can do is shake my hips from side to side.” We laugh while he demonstrates his only dancing technique.
Walking over to him, I sling my arm around his shoulders and tell him, “Come on, old man, let’s get something to eat instead.”
It doesn’t take long before we are working together to get our meal ready.
“Damien,” Pops calls out my name, attempting to get my attention. I’m chopping vegetables while he is at the stove.
I raise my head and look at him. “Yeah?”
“I’m proud of you,” he says, smiling. “No matter what life brings us, you always see the light in the darkness and your dancing…damn, your dancing is one of the most beautiful things about you.” An overwhelming sense of pride runs through my whole being: his pride in me, and my own in my abilities.
“Pops, I couldn’t have done it without you.” There are some guys who aren’t as lucky as I am. Unlike others, my father supports my dancing and everything I do. Sure, I did the sports thing, but dance…dance has always been where I am the happiest. Being a social butterfly, as my pops would say, there are advantages to being the only guy in a dance class. It’s where I met Gabriella—or Gabby as I call her—the only girl I could never bring myself to ask out as we got older. Maybe she is the one that got away.
“Damien.” I hear my name again. “Damien.” I shake my head to clear it of thoughts, focusing on the person calling for my attention.
“Gabby.” Her name is spoken as if we are still in high school and didn’t have a care in the world. But that’s not the case. Now, she is my pops hospice nurse, and these are his final days.
“Where’d you go?” she asks.
“Oh, I was remembering when Pops and I would dance after class and make dinner together.” My greatest memories constantly replay in my head.
She shuffles over from the other side of the bed. Approaching me, she clasps my shoulder. “He’s comfortable,” Gabby reassures me.
“Thanks, Gabby.” I place my hand on top of hers, and she rotates hers to squeeze mine bef
ore leaving me in the bedroom alone with Pops.
Leaning forward in the chair beside my father, I drop my arms onto the bed and grasp his hand in mine as I begin talking to him. He may not be completely aware, but Gabby always tells me he can still hear me. I hold tightly onto the hope in these last moments.
“Pops, I love you so damn much. Cancer fucking sucks. I will carry all the memories we made in my heart. I know you may or may not be hearing me right now, but I want you to know that even though you say I always seem to find the light in the dark storm, it’s hard right now. You’ve fought so hard over the last few months. We thought we had won after you battled through your first cancer diagnosis, going into remission, but here we are on round two. Please know that my love will always be strong for you.” Tears begin to trickle down my face. “So much is being taken from us, but it’s time for you to fly high whenever you are ready. Pops, I’m going to be okay. I know you’ll be with me no matter where I am in my life.” Wiping the tears from my face, I draw in a deep breath, trying to calm myself. Sliding the chair back from the bed, I stand, never letting go of my pops’ hand. I lean over, kiss his forehead, and whisper, “It’s okay, Pops. I love you.” After sitting again, I rest my head on the bed and close my eyes, allowing sleep to take over.
When I wake, I find Gabby standing beside the bed, checking my dad’s vitals. I slowly sit up in the chair and run my hands down my face. “Hey, Gabby.”
“Hey. You know you should grab a shower and change your clothes. It might help you feel a bit better.” She continues to check the machines, making sure Pops is comfortable. We both understand that it’s only a matter of time because Pops is tired. Sadly, we must prepare for his passing.
“Nah, I’ll be alright. I don’t want to leave his side,” I tell her, tapping the bedside gently.
