by Vera Quinn
“Whatever,” I scoff. “C’mon, we need to get back. I’m really glad she opened this bakery because it’s a lot more convenient than what we used to do.”
“This is true and everything is homemade and seems to be pretty healthy.”
I grab our trash as I stand and when I see her looking, give her a wave. The smile and light blush that covers her face has me thinking that maybe she’s feeling like I am; it’s time to get back into the dating game.
Four calls later and I’m back at the station, my heart heavy. The last one was a rollover accident with entrapment and unfortunately, two of the five people in the vehicle didn’t make it. Granted, they were already dead when we got there, but having to get the other three out among that was hard. My phone rings and I see from the display that it’s Audrey. Sighing, I answer and ask, “What’s going on? Is Maisie alright?” Even though I suspect that biologically she’s not mine, as far as I’m concerned, she’s my little girl. Audrey has no clue that when I found out she was cheating on me and went to be tested that the doctor informed me I was sterile. Never had a clue and while it kills me that I’ll never have a child that’s truly mine, I’ve learned to live with it.
“She’s fine. I was checking to see if you were going to pick her up from school tomorrow.” I roll my eyes because she does this frequently. She tries to reinsert herself into my life and that simply will not happen. Our exchanges happen at school. I have clothes and toys at my place for Maisie so she doesn’t have to traipse back and forth with a duffel bag.
“Yes. I’m on shift but my mom will get her and I’ll pick her up when I’m done,” I reply. I’ve realized that keeping our conversations short and sweet is the best way to go. Hell, if I had my way, I’d have Maisie full-time because I’m pretty sure that Audrey has a revolving door and that’s not the kind of environment I want my daughter to grow up in. Jake says I need to keep trying and as soon as I have a bigger place, that’s what I plan to do.
“Well, she’s been wanting to go to that new place in town, the one that sells cupcakes and I told her you’d take her since I don’t have time.” Of course, she has no time. She spends her days primping and shit, gives Maisie the bare minimum attention when she’s awake, then gets a sitter so she can go out at night.
“I’ll get her there. Anything else?” I honestly don’t want to talk to her and with the day I’ve had, I’m sure my tone is anything but cordial and removed, which is what I try to maintain whenever I have to speak with her.
“No, that’s it. Thanks, Shane!” She hangs up without waiting for me to say anything else and I toss my phone to the side.
“What’s up?” Jake asks, seeing the look on my face.
“Audrey.” I don’t have to say much else because he knows how she is and the way she acts.
“Man, we need to get you an attorney. That sweet girl doesn’t need to grow up thinking that being a ho is a good thing.” I can’t help it, I burst out laughing at his words because truly, there’s no love lost between the two of them. He was the one who told me what she was up to after she tried to proposition him and failed. Once I started checking into what he said, I found out it had been going on long before we actually said our vows, which still baffles me. I’m not against single folks getting variety if that’s their thing, but I’ve always chosen to be monogamous even if only dating. It’s just how I was raised. And while I gave up on being married to the same person for the rest of my life, having met Micah, I could see her being part of what’s left of mine.
Now to get her on the same page and pray that she’s okay with the fact that I can’t father children.
Micah
“Trixie, you’re doing a great job,” I say, watching one of the culinary arts students as she finishes up with the cupcakes for the fire department. The run is tomorrow and every one of us has been busting our ass trying to complete the orders, keep up with the stock in the display cases, and prepare items for our booth. Caydence was able to hire four part-timers to help us out and the way things have picked up, I think we’ll be keeping them on after the run.
“Thank you, Micah. And thank you for giving me a chance,” she replies. I smile at her; she’s really shy and from what Simone told Caydence, her homelife sucks. I hope that somehow, I can keep her on because Caydence said that she’s a good worker, and she’s thinking of asking her to move in with her.
“We all need that from time to time, Trixie,” I state.
“But I’m a nothing, a nobody,” she murmurs, causing my heart to break. I step closer and without thinking twice, pull her into my arms for a hug.
“Everyone has value and worth, Trixie. You’re not a ‘nobody’, definitely not to me or Caydence. You’ve got a talent and just so you know, I want you to stay on after the run tomorrow. And once you’ve graduated, I want to hire you full time, although I’ll give you as many hours as you can handle right now.” I make the snap decision instead of waiting because I can see the drive that she has and want to do what I can to help her achieve her dreams.
She looks down at me, since she’s a good five inches taller and I can see the sheen of tears in her eyes. “Only my auntie encouraged me like you two do,” she whispers. “I miss her so much.”
“Honey, I don’t know your story, but trust me, we all have them and we have two choices - we can succumb to what people tell us we are, or we can rise above it all and prove them wrong. I think you’re in the middle right now, but I’m telling you now that your past does not define who you are or will be.”
As sobs overtake her, I pull her closer and let her cry. When she finally gets herself under control, she says, “My parents are addicts, so I’ve been in and out of the system while they tried to get their shit together. Being picked on while in school made me try to be invisible. When my aunt realized what was going on, she moved back here and took me in. Going from the uncertainty of whether or not I’d eat every day to having a kitchen full of food was mind-boggling at first. Aunt Patrice was the one who encouraged me to go to culinary school and I wish she was still here to see what I’ve managed to accomplish so far.”
“I’m sorry for your loss. She sounds like she was a wonderful person,” I state.
“She really was. She died last month after an accident.”
“So where are you staying now?”
“My aunt left me her house and it was paid for, so I’m there. She left me everything and while it doesn’t mean I can sit on my butt, it’s enough that working part time while in school covers what I need, you know?” Well, I’ll let Caydence know that little fact since she was considering asking her to move in with her.
“I totally understand,” I reply.
“I need to clean myself up and get these done. I’m so excited about tomorrow,” she says. “I’ve never participated in anything like this so have no clue what to expect.”
“It’s a lot of fun. They’ve got a fun run, then they break them down into a 3K, a 5K and a 10K. The entry fees are a little higher than normal, but that’s because they donate them to the center. Plus, vendors set up booths to sell things. What they donate is decided by them, but we’ll be donating everything we make from ours.”
“What does the center use the money for? Research?” she asks, going to the sink and washing her hands.
“Actually, no. The center puts the monies into an account and whenever one of their patients expresses a personal need, they give them the money. There are forms and stuff, but those monies have helped people buy groceries, keep their lights on, pay for stuff for their families.”
“Oh wow. I really like that,” she replies.
“I do too. They helped me so much during my treatment and it’s a way for me to pay it forward,” I say, washing my own hands. “Now, these cupcakes aren’t gonna frost themselves.”
Her giggles soon have me laughing as we jump back in to getting things finished for tomorrow. As I work, my thoughts drift to Shane. He’s been in every day since the first time and I am finding m
yself drawn to him. While I hate to compare him to Griffin, he’s the total opposite in every way from what I can tell. I already told Caydence that if he asked me out, I would go, but despite the therapy I went through while undergoing my cancer treatments, I’m still worried I won’t be enough on my own for any man.
Chapter Three
Shane
“Daddy! It’s the cupcake lady!” Maisie says, her excitement causing her tone to rise three octaves. I glance to my right and see Micah’s booth and grin. I did take Maisie to the bakery like I told Audrey I would, but Micah wasn’t there. Regardless, Maisie loved getting her own ‘fancy’ cupcake and has talked about getting another one ever since. Even though I’ll be running today, I’ve got Maisie since Audrey was ‘busy’ or some such bullshit. It doesn’t matter to me; I’ll take my little girl any time possible, even when it’s ‘not my weekend’ because I love having her around. I shake off thoughts of my ex-wife and grab Maisie’s hand to walk her over to Micah’s booth.
“Hey, Shane,” she says when we get there. Her voice washes over me, like it does every time we speak, and I absorb it into my being. I want to hear that voice as we lie in bed, cuddled up and talking. I want to hear it go husky as I make love to her. Dammit, I want it all. “Who’s this little princess?” she asks, looking at Maisie.
“Micah, this is my daughter, Maisie. Maisie, this is Miss Micah. She owns the bakery where we got your cupcake.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Maisie. Did you want a cupcake?” I start chuckling because Maisie’s eyes are as big as saucers while she scans the rows of cupcakes. Some are frosted like normal, but there are others that have a more fanciful look. I see one and know my girl will want it based on the fact that it’s all sparkly and has a unicorn head on the top.
“Daddy, can I have that one?” Maisie asks, pointing to the unicorn cupcake. “It has unicorns,” she whispers.
“Yes, baby, you can have that one,” I reply, pulling out my wallet. I watch Micah pick it up and hand the little box to my girl, who is now beside herself. “We need to get you over to Grandma, sweetie, since I have to run soon.”
“Okay, Daddy. Thank you, Miss Micah,” she says, taking the box. “It’s so pretty,” she whispers, looking at the cupcake.
“Good luck, Shane,” Micah tells me. “You’re very welcome, Maisie.”
“Uh, Micah?” My voice is hesitant, and I find that my palms are sweaty, something that’s never happened when I approach someone to ask them out. She’s different wafts across my mind and I know that I want everything with her. The good, the bad, the ugly.
“Yes?” I look down into her beautiful brown eyes and smile. I can see her pulse beating fast in her neck and realize that I’m affecting her as much as she does me.
“Would you be able to take a break and eat with Maisie and I after the last run?” Normally I wouldn’t include Maisie so soon; in fact, many of the women I’ve dated since Audrey and I divorced never met her and a few didn’t even know I had a child. But I think whatever this feeling I have with regard to Micah means that she’s going to be an integral part of our lives, so I decide to go with that and put myself out there.
“I’d like that, although I suspect, based on how sales have already been, that I’ll be able to actually watch the run itself. What you see is all that’s left.” I look at the table and while it holds a lot of boxes, in the scheme of things, there aren’t that many.
“Then I’ll come find you, if that’s okay with you,” I reply.
“Okay. Enjoy your cupcake, Maisie,” she says. “I’ll see you both a little later.”
We say our goodbyes and I head to the tent that my mother has set up. She and my dad are crafters and I know that when Maisie spills the beans, my mother will mentally start planning another wedding. She didn’t like Audrey but supported me and has been one of my rocks, next to Jake, since everything happened.
“Grandma!” Maisie yells once we’re at my parents’ booth. “I’ve got a unicorn cupcake!”
“Oh, let me see, pretty girl,” my mom says, leaving my dad to handle the customers so she can crouch in front of my girl and look at her treasure. “Well, now that’s the fanciest cupcake I think I’ve ever seen, young lady.”
“I know! It’s almost too pretty to eat, Grandma!” My dad, overhearing her, starts chuckling before he comes over and picks up my girl.
“How’s my princess?” he asks.
“I’m good, Grandpa! Daddy said I get to help you and Grandma today. Then, we’re going to go eat barbeque with the cupcake lady.” I groan because my adorable five-year-old daughter just tossed me under the bus.
“Oh you are, huh?” Mom questions, glancing at me.
“She’s really nice and very pretty,” Maisie continues. “Plus, she can make cupcakes!” At that remark, all of us start laughing.
“Okay, pumpkin, I need to go get ready,” I state. “You behave for Grandma and Grandpa, you hear?” I know the warning isn’t necessary because she’s always good, but I think that’s part of the parent code.
“I will, Daddy. Run fast!” she says, kissing me and going into the booth.
“Thanks, Mom,” I say, leaning down and kissing her cheek. “For everything.”
“Not a problem and you know that, but I’m glad to see the manners I drummed into you are still working,” she replies, patting my cheek. I nod then turn to head over to the area where runners are warming up.
Jake sees me and calls out, “Get your ass over here!”
I jog over to where he is set up and put my duffel bag on the ground next to his. “Had to drop off Maisie,” I say.
“Yeah, but not before seeing Micah,” he retorts. “Did you ask her?”
“I did and she said she would,” I reply, beginning to stretch.
“Fucking A!” he exclaims.
“You’re sure excited about my dating life,” I tell him. “What’s up with that?”
“You need a good woman in your life, man. So does Maisie. I mean, she’s got your mom, of course, but she needs someone who will do mom stuff with her.”
I grin since he knows how Audrey is with Maisie. She treats her like an inconvenience, something that grates on my nerves. “I found a new lawyer, and she’s going to look over my case and see what we can do.”
He gives me a high five and resumes stretching. “It’s about time.”
Micah
I still don’t know what made me say yes to Shane. Maybe it’s because every time he comes into the bakery, he’s kind and shows interest in whatever I’m saying. Maybe it’s because I’ve watched how he interacts with others when he doesn’t think I’m paying attention and I’ve seen how kind he is to not only his friends, but to people he knows in the community. “So, you’re gonna eat with Mr. Hot Paramedic, huh?” Caydence asks, bumping my shoulder.
“Yeah. But Cay, what if… what if he can’t handle the stuff I’ll eventually need to tell him?” I question. I think that’s been the biggest hold-up in my getting out there again. Even though she’s my best friend, she doesn’t know that I signed up on one of those online dating apps and actually chatted with several guys who lived around my hometown. However, before we ever got a chance to actually meet, the discussion of the future always came up and every one of them wanted children. Not to mention, even though my cancer was contained, and I went through chemotherapy to ensure it wasn’t anywhere else, they weren’t willing to take a chance that ‘someday’ my cancer could return.
She finishes up with a customer before turning to me. “Now, you listen here, Micah Elizabeth Walsh, he strikes me as the kind of man who can more than handle whatever bag of bullshit you’re trying to carry!”
I roll my eyes at her theatrics before stating, “Caydence, you know what I mean. He’s got a little girl but what if he wants more kids? I can’t give him or any man that!” As much as it hurts, I no longer cry because I’m still alive and in the grand scheme of things, that’s the most important thing to me. Okay, sometimes, in the lat
e night, I still cry, but it’s never for long.
“You know she’s not his, right?” Caydence asks. I raise my eyebrows at her because I’m not in the know when it comes to the local gossip, preferring to keep my head down and mind my own business.
“Cay, you know how I feel about hearing things secondhand,” I advise.
“No, you do need to know this so you get it into your thick head exactly what kind of man he is,” she retorts. Looking around, she pulls me closer to her and whispers, “According to what I’ve heard, he can’t have kids. He shoots blanks, so if that’s the case, that adorable little girl isn’t his. Besides, didn’t you even notice her skin tone? He’s got a tan, of course, but is clearly Caucasian and she has an olive tone to her skin. Also, her hair is that jet black that isn’t typical of a guy with sandy blond hair.” I stop and think and realize that she’s speaking the truth; Maisie is adorable and precocious, but she looks nothing like her father.
“But he claims her as his daughter,” I murmur, lost in thought.
“I think that says everything about the kind of man he is and if you don’t take this chance and run with it, I’m going to have to revoke your BFF card from my wallet.”
Giggling, I push her away a little and state, “Yeah, I don’t see that happening. Let’s get this stuff sold so maybe I can see some of the race, okay?”
Chapter Four
Micah
One Week Later
I look at the text on my phone and smile, seeing it’s from Shane.
Shane: Hey, cupcake girl, I’m off the next two days and wanted to know if you were free?
