by Sierra Hill
While there are still some kinks to iron out, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been because both Cam and London now live with me full-time. Just like I’ve always wanted them to be.
We moved London out of her apartment after her lease expired and Cam, who is still on a leave of absence from his smokejumper duty, has remained here. Cam heads to Chester Fork some weekends to stay at his mom’s house when he has Taylor so she can see him, too. But mostly Taylor stays with us here.
That kid is the spitting image of Cam. But way more obnoxious and funnier than Cam ever was when he was a kid, which we make sure to razz Cam about every chance we get. Because Taylor spends every other weekend here with us, he has his own room and he decorated it in a race car theme. We spoil him beyond belief, but Cam is a good father and is strict when he needs to be.
The custody-battle and his injuries, however, have taken a toll on Cam. The divorce has been acrimonious, as is the ongoing custody-battle. Lisa had broached the subject of moving to Florida and taking Taylor with her, but Cam put his foot down. No way was she taking their son away from him or to another state where he couldn’t share custody.
He rarely opens up about his feelings over the divorce, keeping much of it to himself with the exception of his anger, but this morning he seems more than willing to share. Proving that he’s finally trusting in the relationship that we’ve worked hard to rebuild.
“I’m just so pissed at myself for ever hooking up with Lisa in the first place. None of this would’ve happened had I not been so eager and stupid when I went into the Air Force. And now Taylor is stuck with a flake for mother,” he laments, scraping a pile of scrambled eggs on his plate.
Cam loves to cook for us. We never go hungry when he’s in the mood to whip something up. “Did I tell you she’s dating some hippie-surfer-dude? And I know she’s involved with drugs.”
His eyes flash to mine with a knowing glare. We have very different takes on that lifestyle. London and Cam have been on my back to lay off the hard partying, which I have, and I’ve stayed away from the people in my past who have pushed it on me. But I don’t agree with their concerns that I might have a problem.
The only reason I ever used in the first place was because I was trying to fill the void and emptiness of not being loved. Classic psychology 101.
Now that I have them both back in my life and bed, I feel whole. No other high required.
I lift a shoulder, setting my phone down on the table that’s been blowing up for the past hour. Being a successful musician means always being in demand. It gets old, fast. There are times when all I want to do is to walk away from the spotlight and work from the shadows as a songwriter, so I can have the normal family life I crave.
“Don’t give me that look,” I scold him, rolling my eyes when he quirks a brow. “Like I’m the devil because I’ve experimented with drugs. And you know for a fact that I’d never have them in the house with Taylor around. Lisa, however, is another story.”
“Don’t I know it. I have no idea what she was doing when I was overseas or away for work. When I was gone, she always found excuses to leave Taylor with her mother or ask my mom to watch him. She was probably partying and sleeping around. And when I was home, she’d go out with her friends and leave him with me.”
I silently commiserated with Taylor’s situation with a neglectful and addict parent. Although when I was a kid, my father, when he was around was just drunk and abusive. I would have rather been on my own.
“Thank God he has you and Doreen.”
A phone vibrates on the table, but the call is coming from Cam’s phone this time. He wipes his hands on the napkin and answers.
“Hello? Oh, hey Curtis.”
It’s the divorce attorney Cam hired. I leave him to his conversation and bring my plate to the sink, cleaning off the remnants of my breakfast when Cam’s roaring voice grabs my attention and I swing back around to see what’s going on.
“She wants to do what? What the fuck does that mean?”
Cam stands, pushing back the chair as it scrapes against the wood floor, and begins pacing. The next few minutes all his replies to the attorney are in grunts and “uh-huhs” but the agitated movement continues.
“Are you fucking serious? She has stipulations? That fucking bitch.”
He gruffly stomps off into the living room, asperity in his tone, as London comes around the corner, dressed in her business slacks and blouse, ready to head off to the office. Her eyes grow wide with curiosity.
“What’s going on?” she whispers conspiratorially, accepting the coffee cup I hand her. She smiles and mouths a “Thank you.”
Wrapping my arms around her, I bring her in for a morning hug and kiss. Although we had quite the frisky make-out session this morning in the shower while Cam still sawed logs in bed, I can never get enough of her.
“I’m not sure, but it doesn’t sound good.”
She glances over her shoulder at where Cam went off and lifts the mug back to her lips. A grin of pride forms across my mouth as I hone in on the ring London wears on her finger.
An engagement ring.
The one-of-a-kind, Neil Lane 3.5 carat radiant-cut diamond engagement ring, surrounded by round diamonds, adorns her finger. The ring that I gave her when she finally accepted my proposal to marry me.
I flew the three of us on a private jet to Cabo two months ago and popped the question on the beach the last night of our vacation. Things had been so good between the three of us, Cam being the missing link all those years, and solidifying our love.
I’d told Cam in advance – he helped me design the ring in the first place – and asked him if he would propose with me.
On a beautiful star-filled night, in a private secluded beach, we had champagne and dinner, listened to music, talked and then Cam and I popped the question.
Unconventional to say the least, but it was perfect for the three of us. And even more perfect was the sound of “yes” falling from London’s lips.
“You want some breakfast before you leave?” I ask, opening the fridge and grabbing the yogurt and fruit she usually eats.
Nodding, she takes a seat and I place a spoon and her food in front of her.
I watch her as she eats, in awe every day that she’s stuck with me for so long and loves me the way I love her. This morning she has pinned her hair up in an intricate up-do, wispy strands hanging past her ears, framing her soft cheeks that are pink and rosy from her earlier shower.
“Have I mentioned lately how I can’t wait to marry you?”
London blushes and grins, guiding the spoon between her lips. I groan when she closes them around it, recalling how she did the same thing to my cock earlier in the shower.
“You may have mentioned it a time or two.” She giggles softly and I place my palm over her cheek.
“You are going to make us so happy…” I begin to say, when Cam bursts into the kitchen, irritation dripping from his voice.
“Goddamn Lisa!” he roars, startling London so much that her spoon flies out of her hand and drops into the bowl with a clang.
“She wants to give up the custody fight. She’s willing to give me full custody of Taylor, on one condition.”
London and I both turn to stare at him, our mouths lifting in enthusiastic smiles because this is what he’s wanted for so long. But our smiles quickly fade when we see the hopeless and helpless look of defeat across his face.
“I can’t be with you. Either of you.”
Chapter 13
My jaw drops, and I shake my head in disbelief, trying to string meaning together from the words he just spoke.
“I’m sorry. Come again? What do you mean, you can’t be with us?”
Cam leans heavily against the wall of the kitchen, slumping down like a weighted stone onto the floor, head hanging in defeat.
“Lisa,” his voice thick with emotion as he clears his throat audibly. His face has turns ghost-white, with almost a grayish hue. “She wants to travel the w
orld with this surfer dude.”
Okay…that doesn’t come as a surprise. I suppose in her mind that can’t be easily done with a young child in tow. And from what we know about Lisa, she wouldn’t want Taylor compromising her fun.
London sits down next to Cam on the floor, a hand placed on his forearm that rests on his bent knees.
“Lisa is giving up her parental rights? Is that what it means? So, Taylor will live with us fulltime?”
His lips thin in a scowl and he shakes his head, his eyes cast downward, avoiding our gazes.
“Not us. Just me.”
London’s eyes flash up to me and then return to Cam. “I don’t understand what you’re trying to say.”
Cam scoffs impatiently. “Lisa’s condition is that for me to have custody and for her to drop the suit entirely, I can’t raise him in this relationship.”
He points an accusatory finger in a triangle between us.
While not many, except for Cam’s mom, Doreen, and London’s family, know about our unique polyamorous relationship between the three of us and our plans for the future, it’s pretty easy to assume that Lisa has figured things out. And is pissed.
Whether it’s out of jealousy or spite, or just plain hatefulness, she’s trying to keep Cam from living the life he wants. The life he deserves. How very hypocritical of her.
“That bitch!” I shout, slamming a hand down on the table, the vibrations flipping over the salt and pepper shakers and rattling the mugs of coffee. “She’s an evil, backstabbing bitch. We can fight her on this, Cam. Don’t let her have this control over you and Taylor.”
I’ll beg and plead and get down on my knees to make him see how manipulative this woman is being and that there are other options for keeping things status quo with Taylor. He doesn’t have to give up his right to love the way he sees fit because she’s an envious evil witch.
Cam plays with the phone in his hand, flipping it over back and forth as he works through the logic of my words.
“I don’t know. I detest fighting. I had enough of it overseas.”
London jumps in, uncharacteristically adamant. “You have to fight this, Cam. Don’t let her take everything from us. From you. From Taylor. We love him, as much as we love you. He deserves to have everything. I’ve seen far too many kids in such bad situations, where their parents don’t give two-shits about their well-being. I know you aren’t like that and you want to protect him. But Lisa is just plain wrong and is asking for something you shouldn’t be willing to give up.”
“I know. I just need some time to think this through.” Cam looks up, his stare unseeing as if looking straight through us.
His mouth tips down in a frown as he presses his lips in a flat line. I know he would do anything for his son, as he should. But that doesn’t mean giving up his own life and love in order to comply with a crazy-bitch’s demands.
He rises to his feet, helping London stand with a hand at her elbow. Everything seems to move in slow-motion as if this is a fleeting moment and one that will take us down a road that we can’t come back from.
Cam gestures for me to stand up and I step toward them. He wraps us in his warm embrace – his hug like an apologetic farewell - the contact sending shivers down my spine. His touch is so familiar; just another extension of my body. And it feels like I’m losing a limb.
Dropping his hand from where it was wound behind my head, he places his mouth over London’s, his tongue sweeping over her lips and surging into her mouth. I watch with a hungry thirst, desperate for my own taste.
She is his, and mine, and he is ours. We are one.
Cam releases London and moves onto me with a sad smile, planting his calloused hands over my jaw, his thumb flicking at my lips that part to taste him. I suck his thumb into my mouth, my cock growing thick and hard at the sensation. He slowly withdraws it and replaces it with his mouth, which I kiss greedily. I want to linger and enjoy the feeling of his wet lips on mine for as long as I can. The full pressure and glide; the minty taste of his tongue against mine. I fear that once he walks out of this house, it could be the last. And it terrifies me.
The kiss ends too soon as he backs away, his hands dropping to his sides with weighted decision; as if retreating from a predatory animal. Eyes weary and conflicted with regret.
“I’m going to go up and pack and head to my mom’s. Please let me figure this thing out on my own, okay? Don’t interfere. Just…”
His gaze snaps away from us as I slip my fingers through London’s, squeezing her hand in an unspoken solidarity. It’s so hard to let him go through this hell Lisa is putting him in alone. Our instincts tell us he should be with us, so we can support him. To be his buoys when he’s drowning. He thinks he has no control in how this situation with Taylor plays out, but what he doesn’t realize is that London and I will help him. If he just lets us.
Cam stubbornly refuses help when he most needs it. I saw that struggle within him when he was going through his recovery. He denies our help and is obstinately inflexible.
The same way he’s acting now by walking out that door alone.
Three is better than one.
What I learned through his recovery process, however, is that Cam needs to come to his own conclusions on his own time; but he’ll always come around sooner or later.
He just needs to be in the driver’s seat and takes the long and winding route before he gets there.
Chapter 14
“How do you think he’s doing?” London asks me a week later as we lay in bed together watching a movie.
It’s obvious she’s referring to Cam, who we haven’t heard from since he left, with the exception of a selfie text he sent us of Taylor’s huge gap-toothed smile showing us that he’d lost his first tooth.
I sigh, pulling her flush to my side and kissing the top of her head. To say we’ve been lonely without Cam is an understatement. The bed feels ten sizes too big with just the two of us. Every time I walk by Taylor’s empty room I feel a ping of grief. Another hole in my heart has been carved out and is MIA.
We didn’t just lose Cam in this god-awful situation, but we lost a little boy who we’d fallen deeply in love with. Who felt like our own. A boy I could envision us raising together as a family as we watched him grow into adulthood.
Nuzzling at her ear, I answer honestly. “I really don’t know. It kills me that he feels this is the only way to make this work. I disagree with his decision, but what can we do?”
London turns in my arms, her freshly-washed face blooming with natural beauty, the color of her cheeks a dusty pink and her lips plump and shiny.
She lays a soft hand against my cheek, gazing up at me with intensity flashing in her green eyes.
“He’ll come back to us. I know he will.”
Placing a kiss on the tip of her nose, the light dusting of freckles there that I’ve always loved, my lips work their way down until I meet her lips. My palm glides over the delicate flesh of her shoulder, guiding the strap of her nightie along with it.
Our kisses transition from sweet and soft to hard and urgent. She wedges a hand between us and massages my already turgid length, straining between my legs.
“Do you imagine him here with us when I fuck you?” I ask, not out of jealousy, but out of hungry interest.
Her hand burrows underneath the fabric of my boxers, and I thrust into her palm. She makes my body come alive with a needy greed to fill her up; to make this empty ache and longing we both have disappear.
“I miss him so much, Sage. You know I want him here with us just as much as you do. But I enjoy being alone with just you, too.”
A smile tugs at my lips knowing how good we are together, even when it’s just the two of us, as I let my fingers wander over the silky skin of her arms and to her full breasts. I push to my elbow and wedge a thigh between her legs, settling at her center.
Tugging the nightie down, I expose her plump tits, her nipples darting upright, in need of being worshipped.
My thumb strokes against her taut nipple, as I follow it with a swipe of my tongue as she gasps out a needy breath.
We rock against one another, our desire becoming urgent and uncontrollable. I claim her lips again, licking the corners of her mouth and then sweeping between the seam, swirling inside as I catch each moan and sigh between my lips.
With simmering desperation, I slip a hand between our wedged bodies, rolling enough to make room and push the nightie to her waist. Looking down to where our bodies will soon be joined, I see she’s pantyless and I groan.
“I’ll admit,” I murmur against her tit, pressing hot, open-mouth kisses there as she arches into my mouth. “I enjoy having you all to myself sometimes. You’re so perfect, darlin’.”
My fingers land at the juncture of her pussy and I part the wet flesh there, flicking the nub of her clit with my thumb. Her body cants upwards with pleasure as I continue my ministrations. Teasing and torturing her with my fingers.
I allow my fingernails to skim over the dewy entrance, her pussy slick with desire, thrusting two fingers inside her. The heat of her body is unbearable. She’s slippery and hot and it was all I ever thought about during my time in prison. The scent of her arousal and the tightness of her cunt that envelopes me when I’m inside her.
My cock thickens, reminding me he has work to do, and I wiggle out of my shorts, kicking them off the edge of the bed.
With the wetness coating my fingers, I paint a slick swath over her nub, rubbing her in tight circles as she grinds against my hand.
“Right there, Sage….oh God, right there.” She cries out huskily, her fingernails digging into my shoulders.
There is nothing better than watching London come apart in the throes of passion. She’s always been uninhibited, even when we first took her virginity all those years ago. She’s insatiable and daring in the bedroom and makes my blood heat with desperation every time we fuck.
Using my thumb and finger, I spread her folds open and rub tiny circular motions around her clit, as she tenses beneath me and throws her head to the side, shouting out her climax.
