by Pratt, Lulu
“We’ll just walk, Carter,” I volunteered. “Don’t worry about it. Get Henry home, cuz I’m sure it’s his bedtime. Jo-Beth and I will be fine.”
“I can’t let you do that.” His voice was protective, his words firm.
“Sure you can.”
“You don’t even know how to get back.”
“I do,” Jo-Beth piped up. “I’ll get her back in one piece.”
I didn’t need the lights of the diner to see the blush working its way across Carter’s face.
“Well… all right then,” he allowed, caving. “Only because I gotta get Henry to bed. But you hurry on home, ya hear?”
“Will do.” Jo-Beth was already striding away from the truck, so I jogged to keep up with her.
“I’ll see you back there,” Carter called out as we walked onto the dirt road.
I turned to wave at him, and he waved back. The separation felt so much harder, after spending the whole day together. It was as though he kept a piece of my heart tucked into his back pocket, and I was experiencing all the tearing sensations at once.
Night in Rough and Ready is thick and earnest — there were no street lamps where we were heading. On the bright side, this meant that you could see each star in the sky. On the down side, it was spooky as fuck.
“You don’t mind walking home by ourselves?” I asked Jo-Beth as I fell into her stride, my voice low as if in fear that the coyotes would hear us and come chomping.
“Oh please. It’s like a couple of blocks. And you know I took a ton of those self-defense classes. Not like it matters, because everybody has clearly gone to bed.”
She gestured to the small smattering of houses we passed by. All were either abandoned or the lights were off. By the state of the yards, I was leaning to the former, though then again, maybe yard maintenance just wasn’t of the utmost import in Rough and Ready.
Where I was from, the true suburbs of Jersey, yards told a whole life story. Your house was the same as everyone else’s, so you distinguished yourself through excellent water practices, constant mowing, and regular updates to seasonal decorations. Said decorations included appropriately colored holiday lights and gate wreaths, which were for whatever reason were vital and replaced about once a month.
“So,” I asked, trying to make conversation to assuage my fears of the dark. “Did you really see someone?”
“Who?” Jo-Beth was playing with the edge of her shirt, not really paying attention.
“The one in the window. In the diner. Or were you just trying to get me to stop focusing on Carter?”
Jo-Beth laughed, delighted. “No, that was an added bonus. She was there, all right, but just for like a second.”
“Really?” There’d be no reason for Jo-Beth to lie, now that Carter was out of sight. We always told each other the truth.
Then again, she did have a fanciful imagination. She watched tons of horror movies, devouring them faster than the studios could produce them. It was possible her overactive brain had invented a woman in a window, late at night in a tiny town, purely for the dramatic effect.
Or maybe she was real.
An unexpected cold breeze blew past, reminding me that, though the desert is hot as shit during the day, the temp drops like twenty degrees at night. The wind creeped up under my thin dress, sending a shiver through me. Shit, I thought with remorse. Should’ve brought a jacket. In my mind, the ultimate sign of maturity was packing weather-appropriate clothing options.
Maybe the fact that I was in a sundress is why Carter kept mentioning my age — because I didn’t seem prepared for the regular adult world with all its temperature fluctuations. He’s not trying to be mean, I reminded myself. I knew the discreet comments about my age weren’t personal, but it was hard to take that on the chin, since there wasn’t a way to make the years move by any faster.
But my thoughts were interrupted by a noise behind me.
“Did you hear that?” I asked Jo-Beth immediately.
“What?”
“The — some noise. I’m not sure what.”
She slung an arm around me and sighed, “Oh, you scaredy-cat.”
“I’m serious!”
Jo-Beth rolled her eyes but obliged, turning to look over our uni-shoulder. “Nothing there. Probably just a branch or some shit. When you get out of the city, regular noises sound louder because you don’t have the white noise of just daily life — no cars, no subways, nothing. Once the buzz of electricity is gone, you can hear everything else way more distinctly.”
“How do you know that?” I asked, skeptical of this reasoning.
“I used to camp.”
I shook my head, absolutely unable to picture Jo-Beth camping. “Were you any good at it?”
“No,” she admitted. “We had to leave early every time because I’d throw a fit.”
We both laughed at that, breaking some of the tension that was mounting in my breast. I could just see it now, young Jo-Beth stomping her foot on a pile of leaves and whining about the lack of plumbing…
Another noise, this time closer.
I whirled around, throwing Jo-Beth’s arm off me in the process.
“Okay, I know I heard something this time.”
“Girl, relax,” Jo-Beth insisted. “We’re gonna be at Carter’s in like literally two minutes.”
“I wish Carter had come with us.”
“Yeah, I know.”
The annoyance in her tone was ill-contained. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
She averted her eyes, clearly embarrassed to have even brought it up.
“It’s just,” Jo-Beth sighed, “I thought we’d spend more time together, since we’re stuck here for four days. Not that I’m not happy you found a road trip romance, and of course, it’s nice to have a little alone time after three weeks together, but… still.”
“I thought you had to do schoolwork in the library. I didn’t have any to do.”
She wrapped her arms around herself, uncomfortable. “Yeah, you’re right. Sorry. Of course, I’m just — I think maybe it’s just that it’s less likely for me to find a random hookup in the middle of the country. The girls who like girls aren’t always so open about it in Back of Beyond, Kansas.”
Aw, shit. How had this not crossed my mind? Duh, she was feeling left out.
“Oh, Jo-Beth, no don’t apologize. I’m sorry,” I insisted, earnestly regretful. “It didn’t even occur to me that you might be feeling a little left out.”
“It’s okay, seriously.”
“No, no. Let’s spend some time together tomorrow, just you and me. How about that?”
“But I don’t wanna ruin your time with Carter,” she said. “That would be crappy of me.”
“You’re not. Besides, I need to remember that this is just temporary. This time next week, we’ll be in Bridgeport. I want to hang with my best friend tomorrow.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Obvi.”
We smiled, and the whole thing was over. I’d spend time with Jo-Beth tomorrow, and that would solve that. Internally, I was feeling a pinch of pain about having to be apart from Carter even a little during what would likely be our last day together, but oh well. Maybe it was for the best, this early separation. It’d make the final separation that much easier.
Besides, I wasn’t supposed to have any attachment to him, right? Not like this, the two of us, stood a chance in the real world. Better to bite the bullet than drag it out. I’d hang with my friend and it would all be okay.
And then I heard another noise behind us.
This time, instead of turning around, I just began to run.
“Wait, Phoebe, where are you going!” Jo-Beth called out, dashing into a sprint to keep up with me as I rounded a corner.
“I know I heard something!”
“Okay, but why the fuck are we running?”
That was a good point, and well taken, but thankfully, the athletic exertion was over in a moment — I’d crossed the final hundred fe
et to Carter’s house, bending over in his driveway and catching my breath.
Jo-Beth was right behind me, barely even winded. “What the hell was that?” she asked, not angry so much as deeply confused.
“There was something out there.”
“You’re being crazy.”
Despite all my efforts to avoid it, Carter’s story from earlier in the day swam through my mind — a woman, a fire, a jail sentence. Meghan.
Okay, Jo-Beth was correct. I was being not just crazy, but extremely crazy. Especially because Meghan had another, what, five years in prison? I mean, Carter was planning a whole thing involving Canada. What right had I to be this fucking paranoid?
None at all, is the answer. Besides, we were back at the house. Any danger that may have lurked on the open road — and let’s be honest, that probably meant some grasshoppers, maybe a particularly vicious tumbleweed — that was all in the past. We were safe.
“Can we go to bed now?” Jo-Beth asked.
I bounced up and down on the balls of my feet, trying to let anxiety out through my heels.
“I’m feeling really anxious, Jo-Beth,” I admitted. Even knowing nothing was out there…
“Let’s just get into the trailer, and then I’ll like rub your belly or something. It’s all gonna be fine.”
Jo-Beth had a point. Better to be inside than outside, at the very least. We walked into the trailer, and I made sure to close the door behind me — locking it once, then unlocking it, then locking it again.
At the very least, I could get into something a little warmer. Maybe that would help the chill running through me. While Jo-Beth grabbed face wipes, I slid out of the sundress and into a pair of cozy PJs — long flannel pants, a thin ribbed cami, and fuzzy socks. I wished I’d brought a long sleeve shirt, but unfortunately, as discussed, my packing abilities left something to be desired.
Even as I got changed, Jo-Beth with her back to me, I had the unnerving sense that someone was watching me. Carter? I wondered, then immediately nixed the idea. He would never. It was so far out of character that it didn’t even bear contemplating.
Jo-Beth had moved on to teeth brushing when she turned and caught me staring out the window, searching in the night.
“You look, like, super shaken, dude,” she said through a frothy mouth of Crest White.
“It’s nothing.”
Even through the toothpaste, I could hear exasperation as she finally said, “Just go knock on Carter’s door. Tell him you think something’s outside.”
“He’ll freak out.”
“Why?”
Shit. Right. Damn it. I wanted to tell Jo-Beth why I was on such pins and needles, but I couldn’t, and I wanted to tell Carter that I was scared because of his story, but didn’t want to alarm him any further, not after everything he’d been through.
But, even if I couldn’t tell him that something spooky was lurking, I could at least ask him for a reassuring hug. Or, um, more than a hug.
“Okay,” I said, dropping my toiletries bag on the floor. “I’m gonna go inside, see if Carter knows anything about this. I’ll be back later.”
“Uh-huh,” Jo-Beth replied, voice dripping with sarcasm. “Sure you will.”
“Do you mind?”
“No, so long as we can hang a little tomorrow — do what you have to do. If I can’t make you any less anxious, hell, maybe he will.”
That was permission enough. I hugged my friend, silently thanking her for supporting me through all my weirdness. She hugged me back.
“Go, go, frolic with your lover.” She was already snuggling into bed. “I’ll just be here, reading a science textbook like a loser.”
I laughed and blew her a kiss goodbye before walking out the door. There were about ten, fifteen steps between the house and the trailer, and I ran every one of them, launching myself off stepping stones and onto the stairs up to Carter’s place. I rapped on the door with boundless nervous energy, and within moments, a light flicked on, its beams shining under the crack.
“Hello?”
“Carter, it’s me.”
The door opened immediately. Carter was still in his street clothes, still dirty from the day’s excursions. Yum. I glanced down at my own outfit, feeling far less sexy in my comfy jammies.
“What’s up?” he asked casually.
“I — um, I’m feeling… shit, this is so stupid.”
He took my hand, leading me over the threshold and shutting the door behind me. “You can tell me anything, Phoebe.”
“I’m just feeling a little spooked, is all. Walking home at night kind of gave me the willies.”
Carter nodded, understanding. “Yeah, Rough and Ready could use an extra streetlight. Or twenty. Do you wanna sleep in my bed?”
I’d been so prepared for him to think I was nuts, that I was just an anxious city girl who couldn’t handle the lonely country roads. Instead, he’d listened, affirmed, and offered an option. He’d done in a moment what it took psychologists years to study and learn. Dang.
Was it weird to accept this offer from someone who was supposed to be a one-night stand? Well, technically, you haven’t slept together for a full night, my brain supplied, ever helpful. This would just be sort of like an extension of the deal.
Okay, I’d talked myself into it. That hadn’t been hard.
“I’d love to.”
“I’ve gotta take a shower, but you can lay down in my bed, get comfortable,” Carter offered. “And of course, we don’t have to, er, do anything tonight. We can just… sleep.”
I nodded, not sure what to say to that, and Carter pointed out the door to his bedroom.
“It’s just in there. Make yourself at home.” He turned, heading to the bathroom, then paused. “Also, those PJs are fucking sexy.”
Jesus, he was a hunk, and sweet to boot. The little lines at the corner of his warm brown eyes had creased from smiling. I wanted to trace each one of those lines, follow it down to his high cheekbones, kiss those full lips.
I went to his bedroom and peeked inside.
The room was gorgeous, a true inner sanctum. It was full to bursting with plants of all varieties, on the floor, on surfaces, hung from the ceiling. He’d collected little antique oddities and placed them at random across the room, a new surprise lying in every corner. His bed was a bright yellow comforter with white pillows and a specially carved wood headboard. In any other room, it would’ve been too much, too much of simply everything. But in his, it all worked seamlessly.
It should’ve felt weird, climbing into a relative stranger’s bed and nestling down. Somehow, though, Carter’s mattress suited my back, his pillows were all the perfect height — I felt like Goldilocks, having stumbled upon everything that was ‘just right.’ Was this a sign about Carter and me, that we were just right together? No, Phoebe, I corrected, immediately catching myself. You’re seeing what you want to see.
Well, that couldn’t be entirely true now, could it? Because if I was only seeing what I wanted to, I wouldn’t be so heavily sensing eyes watching my every move. That was certainly not a thing I wished to experience in any capacity.
I curled up in Carter’s bed, hoping that his smell would calm my racing heart. Deep breath in, deep breath out. Coffee, sweat, wood — his scent. It was heady, but not a compelling argument. I still felt as though I were being tracked, hunted.
God, why did I have to be such a drama queen? That was totally Jo-Beth’s job, and she was better at it.
The shower was right next door to his room and I could hear the water hitting tile, running over it and down the drain.
Wait. If I could hear that from my vantage in his bed… what had Carter heard yesterday?! Oh man, that did not bear thinking about. I mean, we’d already slept together, it’s not like I had anything to hide anymore, but still, it was mortifying. Those noises had been, uh, extravagant.
The pipes hissed shut. Carter must have turned off the shower head. I studied my position in bed and considered rearranging my
self to make a more artful picture, but just as the thought crossed my mind, Carter opened the door.
There hadn’t been any time for me to do a sexy pose, but I so did not care, because Carter was standing in the doorframe, still wet, a towel slung low around his waist, nestled beneath his abs. The tops of his ‘V’ were just peeking out — you know, that part of a chiseled guy’s body that points like a flashing arrow down to his cock. My mouth moistened.
“Bed suitin’ ya?” he asked, stepping into the room casually, as though he wasn’t aware that he had the most perfect muscles in the world.
“It’s great, yeah, thank you.”
“Good.”
He moved to the corner, opened a drawer of his mid-century teak dresser, and pulled out what I determined to be a pair of boxer briefs. In one quick move, he tugged them on beneath his towel, then whipped the towel off, wiped off the last drops of water that clung to his chest, and then hung the used linen on a nearby hook.
Damn it. I knew we were just supposed to be getting a little shut eye, but that didn’t mean I should be deprived of the view!
“Do you mind if I sleep next to you?” he asked. “If you do mind, I can go conk out in that chair.”
Carter pointed to a fragile wooden chair in the corner, the folding kind that you’d set up for an outdoor BBQ.
My mouth gaped. “You think I would make you, my host, sleep in that? Come on, Carter, I’m not an asshole.” I paused, then added, “And besides… I want you next to me.”
He grinned and, not requiring any further hints, flicked out the lights and sauntered over to the side of the bed.
“Scoot over,” he said in the dark.
I obliged readily and in moments, was rewarded by the sensation of his warm body pressed against mine, curling around me and forming us into a pair of curved spoons, warped around one another.
“Is this good?” he whispered.
I nodded, and he nuzzled my shoulder with his nose.
In fact, it was too good. Because though I was supposed to be trying to sleep — and his presence was certainly easing my anxiety — now all I could focus on was the feeling of his cock pressed against my back. It wasn’t hard, but even knowing that it was there… well, that was tantalizing enough.
