by Pratt, Lulu
“Phoebe, these last few days have been the happiest of my life, save for Henry’s birth.”
Meghan cut in with a screeching laugh. “You don’t mean that.”
“Of course I do. Meghan, I could never love you, not after how you treated me, but more importantly, not after how you treated my son.”
“Our son.”
“Oh please. You ain’t raised him for a minute of his damned life. He is mine, and mine alone.” I redirected my attention to Phoebe, who was struggling in Meghan’s hold. “And you’ve been so, so good with him, Phoebe, so loving, so thoughtful. Even in just these few days, he’s become a different kid. He was always wonderful, of course, but now he seems… fuller, somehow. Better.”
A tear skated down her cheek. “Carter,” she whispered, causing Meghan to tighten her grip on the knife.
“Stop,” I begged Meghan, “just stop. That’s the love of my life you’ve got there, the only woman who’s ever made me feel safe. Killing her doesn’t mean you’ll ever have me.”
Meghan laughed. “I’d be okay just causing you some pain after all that you’ve done to me.”
“Then I won’t give you that satisfaction. I’ll kill myself before I let you hurt Phoebe. I won’t make it worth your time.”
I saw a shock go through Meghan, as if the severity of my words was just hitting her — she realized that I meant it, that I loved Henry and wanted to stay alive for him, but that I would martyr myself in a heartbeat to save the woman I loved.
In that split second, Meghan’s hands loosed around Phoebe’s throat. Not much, but enough.
I took my window.
I sprang to Meghan, pushing Phoebe out of her grasp and tumbling with my ex-wife onto the ground. The force of our fall caused Meghan to drop the knife.
“Run, Phoebe, run!” I screamed as I pressed Meghan onto the ground.
There were uneven footfalls behind me, the sound of Phoebe scrambling to the car as much as her weakened body would allow.
Meghan laughed beneath me. Even with my weight and anger atop her, she wouldn’t be denied. She pointed her chin up to face me, defiant despite everything.
“She’s just a girl, Carter. Just some flimsy little passing attraction. You’ll get over her and come back to me, if only for the punishment. You do like to suffer.”
“You’re wrong. I was too scared to leave, but I hated every moment of my life with you. Now, finally, I have the promise of a future, and it’s with that woman.”
“She’ll get bored of you,” Meghan hissed, searching desperately for something to upset me, to throw me off-kilter. “She’ll realize you’re just a depressed mess of a man.”
“Maybe. But that’s a risk I’m willing to take. That’s what you do for love — you try the hard shit.” I paused, and leaned in closer, lowering my voice. “And if you ever try to come for either of them again, Meghan, just know that you won’t make it out alive. You’ve been lucky. Not again.”
With that, Meghan tried to get away. Her anger gave her superhuman strength and she pushed me off. She scrambled to her feet, but looked back at me as I rolled over on my back and attempted to stand. She walked backwards, facing me, she then stumbled and fell. She hit the ground hard. It was just enough to knock her unconscious. I crawled over as I’d wanted to ensure she was out.
She was sprawled out on the ground, her muscles loosening, her eyes closed.
If I’m being honest, I’d wanted to return the emotional pain she’d caused with a bout of some serious physical pain. But that was not the man I was or I’d sworn to become, and Meghan could not make me into her violent image.
“Goodbye, Meghan,” I spat. “It’s been swell.”
Knowing her, she wouldn’t stay knocked out for long. I hoisted myself onto my feet and grabbed a rope from the shop to tie it around Meghan’s wrists.
I ran back to the car.
“Turn on the engine!” I shouted to Jo-Beth. “We’ve gotta get to the sheriff’s!”
The engine roared — well, whimpered — to life. The thing would at least get us out of town, though I wasn’t sure it would go much further than that.
Through the window, I could see that Henry and Phoebe were in the back, with Henry petting Phoebe’s head.
I maneuvered in next to Jo-Beth and hollered, “Drive!”
And drive she did.
CHAPTER 28
Phoebe
CARTER TWISTED in his seat to face me, his angular face swimming in my vision.
“Phoebe,” he said, fingers resting on my cheek. “Are you okay? I’m so sorry, I’m so—”
“You love me?” I asked.
They were the only words that came to mind, the only ones that seemed important in that moment.
He hesitated then grinned, white teeth shining out from tanned skin. “Yeah. How do you feel about that?”
I knew Henry and Jo-Beth were in the car — logically I was aware of that — but the world seemed to shrink even smaller than the entirety of the vehicle. For the first time in her life, Jo-Beth was silent.
All at once, it became just Carter and me, nobody and nothing else. No ex-wives, no tiny towns, no broken vehicles. Just us.
“Carter…”
“If you don’t love me, that’s okay, too. I feel better just knowing I got the words off my chest.”
“Of course I love you. I’ve been trying pretty hard not to love you, but that doesn’t seem to be working out.”
His brown eyes widened, so big that I thought if I leaned in I might just fall through their depths and out into the universe.
He cleared his throat, which still sounded rusty with smoke, and said, “I feel like there’s a ‘but’ coming.”
“But—”
“Yeah,” he said morosely. “Thought so.”
“But… it’s all happened so quickly. We crashed this car, what, three days ago, if that? How do you love someone this hard, that fast?”
He bit his lip. “I dunno, Phoebe. Just know that I do.”
“It scares me.”
“Serious shit is scary. And I am seriously in love with you.”
“Daddy!” Henry cooed next to me, breaking our little bubble. “I love Phoebe too! I love her! Can she be my mommy?”
That just about tore my heart in two.
Carter smiled at his son, then back to me. “See? Love happens fast. I ain’t trying to pressure you into nothing. If we can’t be together, so be it. I just want you to survive and thrive, to get back to your life and make something out of it.”
“But I want to be with you,” I whispered. “And we live a world apart.”
Carter’s hands cradled my face as he thought over my words. I could see his eyes darting all over me, inspecting my injuries, checking for the permanence of any damage. It was like watching his brain cells firing on all cylinders, and knowing with a warm glow that every one of said cells was focused on me and my well-being.
“I have to resettle anyways,” he said at last. “There ain’t any more safety in living in Rough and Ready. At the very least, I gotta be closer to a police station.”
The car jiggled beneath us. Presumably we’d gone over a bump, but I also got the strange sensation that the car was in agreement with Carter.
He continued, “This is awful bold of me, and if it’s outta line, just say so, but… what if we moved near you?”
Oh my God.
Three days ago, I’d been lamenting the fact that no men took me seriously, that I had no real prospects in dating. Now, a man was talking about moving across the country, with his child, to live near me.
Carter reddened and added, “Of course, you can say no. And even if we do move, it wouldn’t mean we were like, married or anything. I just wanna, um, be near you. Try dating. Hopefully with fewer killer ex-wives.”
That made me laugh.
I took a leap of absolute, intrinsic faith. Maybe it was physical impact of the smoke and choking, or maybe it was the emotional realization that life is short a
nd you have to love while you can.
“I think Bridgeport is big enough for the three of us,” I murmured.
His lips curled at the edges. “Yeah?”
“Well, at the very least, it’s bigger than Rough and Ready. Still small enough that everyone knows each other and is family.”
He moved his hands down to my shoulders, rubbing them softly.
“That sounds wonderful, Phoebe.” His eyes moved past mine and onto Henry. “Kiddo, what do you think about living closer to Phoebe?”
Henry jumped up and down in his seat, sending shudders through the car.
“Ya, ya!” he cried, his high voice ringing in my ears. “More Phoebe!”
Carter looked back to me, still smiling. “I guess that settles that. I know we’ll love Bridgeport, because I love you.”
“Does it feel weird to say that?” I asked, laughing.
“Only because I had to stop myself from saying it for so long.”
In the front seat, Jo-Beth finally broke her self-enforced silence and let out a long whoop of excitement.
“Hell, yes!” she cried.
“Does that mean you approve?” I questioned. “I thought you said he might be nuts.”
“Oh, he clearly is. But I think he’s your kind of nuts.”
Carter and I chuckled, then turned back to one another.
“Welcome to the remainder of this road trip,” I said so low that just the two of us could hear.
He smiled. “It’s gonna be awesome.”
Carter leaned in and kissed me, and the rest of the world faded out.
CHAPTER 29
Carter
WE STOPPED IN the next town over and spoke to the sheriff about what had happened with Meghan. They took our statements and a nurse looked at Phoebe. Fortunately, she was okay and had only a few bruises and bumps. As we were getting ready to leave, we were told that Meghan had found, still unconscious and had been arrested. She’d confessed immediately and was being held pending multiple charges.
After leaving the sheriff’s office, we decided that as the house and garage were both crime scenes for the next couple of days that it was best for Phoebe and Jo-Beth to continue their journey to San Diego. I was not prepared to let Phoebe go just yet, so I offered to arrange to drop the car off for Jo-Beth’s cousin after they left if he would drive Henry and I back to Rough and Ready.
With that matter settled, we’d driven for about an hour south, Phoebe’s hand clutched in mine, before Henry starting whining, kicking at the back of the driver’s seat and generally making noise.
“Daaadd,” he moaned.
“What’s wrong, bud?” Phoebe asked, crouching down so she could be at his eye level.
“Sleepy?” I asked him.
He nodded.
I turned to Phoebe and whispered, “He doesn’t like to say he’s sleepy when he’s sleepy.”
She smiled. “Good to know.”
My heart was fit to burst. These were the types of things she wanted to know now. She wasn’t just being nice to a kid because it was the polite thing to do, but because she wanted to be — dare I say it — a part of his life. A part of my life. This day had narrowly avoided being the worst of my life, and then had managed to go a step further and become arguably the best day.
After all, I’d told Phoebe I’d loved her, and she’d said it back. Meghan was still a problem, sure, but with Phoebe at my side and a new life somewhere in front of us, I knew I could weather it. I’d move to a safer neighborhood. I’d fall deeper in love. Everything would be all right.
Phoebe had wanted me to stop running and to open up. Well, now I’d done it, and sure enough, it’d all changed for the better. I’d be annoyed at her for being right if I wasn’t so damn happy.
She leaned forward to the driver’s seat and said to Jo-Beth, “I think Henry needs some rest.”
“Don’t we all?” Jo-Beth replied. “Where should we stop?”
Phoebe looked to me and shrugged. “I dunno. Carter?”
I thought about it for a moment. We didn’t have enough money for a motel, not given how much we’d need to pay in gas, and we’d probably need to pick up some new stuff tomorrow, considering the girls had less clothes than when they woke up in Rough and Ready while Henry and I had left everything behind for the moment.
“Somewhere free,” I said at last.
“Well, we won’t all fit in the car,” Jo-Beth pointed out, wisely enough.
Phoebe’s eyes brightened. “How about a campground?”
“Uuuhh…” Jo-Beth sounded skeptical.
I was too. “Phoebe, are you sure you’re well enough for that?”
She gripped my hand tightly. “I’m feeling amazing.”
And her strength was surging from her fingertips into my palm, and I knew she was telling the truth.
“And,” she added, “I just saw a sign for a campground about five miles up.”
True enough, in five miles, there was an off-ramp that dropped you off in just about the middle of the woods. Jo-Beth took the exit, and before long, we were in some kind of national forest. Or at least, a very large park.
We came to a stop, and unfolded ourselves from the car. Though I preferred traditional camping, I was momentarily grateful for the gentrification of the outdoors — the campsite had a sundry goods shop as well as some rental stations.
First, we all went to the bathroom, then picked up some supplies from the shop — toothbrushes, deodorant, et cetera.
We just started to devour some snacks when Jo-Beth asked, “So, how should we split up the sleeping arrangements for the night?”
Phoebe’s cheeks burned red and she looked away from Jo-Beth’s amused gaze.
“How about,” Jo-Beth continued, clearly having formed the plan long ago, “Henry and I sleep in the car, and Phoebe, you and Carter can split a tent.”
I panicked for a second. “Are you sure you can watch after Henry?”
“For one night? Obviously.” She tousled his hair. “He’s a good kid. And anyways, I figure you two could use some, ahem, alone time.”
She grinned wickedly and raised an eyebrow.
Phoebe muttered, “Okay, wiseass, very funny.”
“You can lick each other’s wounds,” Jo-Beth continued, mortifying poor Phoebe.
“All right, all right, point taken!” Phoebe sighed. Then, more earnestly, “And thank you.”
“Anytime,” Jo-Beth replied before throwing an arm around Phoebe and pulling her into a hug. “I’m just glad you’re alive.”
Jo-Beth pulled away, and for the first time that afternoon, I realized how bravely she’d been holding in her emotions so that she could put Phoebe’s safety first and foremost.
I said, “You’re a good friend, Jo-Beth.”
She flipped her blonde hair, still somehow in perfect shape. “I know!”
And we were back to joking, aloof Jo-Beth. That was okay. I’d seen her sweeter side and knew that she was more emotional than she let on.
I bent down to explain to Henry we’d be sleeping elsewhere, but he was way too tired to care. More likely than not, he would get back into the car, go horizontal and conk out in a minute. I doubted he’d even know I was gone.
Jo-Beth corralled Henry in the car while Phoebe and I picked our way to the tent rental station.
It occurred to me that, a couple of days ago, I would never have let Henry go off with someone I didn’t know. Hell, I’d barely hand him over to someone I did know. How had I become so open to relying on the help of strangers, allowing myself to believe that it really does take a village? How had I changed so much in such a short period of time?
The answer was standing next to me — Phoebe.
She was the worse for wear, but her spirits were still high. As she peered over the counter of the market, I watched her heels rise — she came to her tiptoes with ease. I shook my head. Just hours earlier, she’d been threatened with a knife by my ex-wife, and now here she was, ably picking out a large, two-per
son tent in a matte gray.
She had some bruising, and I could see that the old man, perhaps once a forest ranger, who was ringing up the tent for us, was inspecting the markings and shooting me concerned, suspicious glances. If only you knew, I thought. Though, of course, the shadows were my fault — I’d brought Meghan into Phoebe’s life. I had wreaked this havoc, and it would take a long time for me to move past my guilt. But I suppose you have to start somewhere, right?
“Thanks,” Phoebe said as the man laid the tent on the counter.
I scrounged into my pocket and pulled out a twenty, sliding it across the counter. “Here you go.”
The man took the twenty and rung it up, still eyeballing me like I might, at any moment, spring across the counter and give him a matching black and blue bruise. I was down to my last few dollars, but I would never tell her what I’d sacrificed. It was, after all, the least I could do.
“Let me carry this,” I said, picking the tent up and slinging it across my shoulder.
“Okay,” Phoebe smiled and held out a hand, which I clasped.
Together, we walked into the woods.
Trees soared around me, a million varieties — oak, red pine, on and on. Despite the recent fires that seemed to be relentlessly plaguing the state, the soil was thick and nutrient-dense.
I shook my head, trying to shake free thoughts of smoke and flames, but still, the images rose behind my eyes like ghostly overlays, tulle atop shimmering red.
“Phoebe?” I asked as we walked to the campground.
“Yes?”
I rubbed her back. “How do I get treatment for PTSD?”
“Oh, Carter, I can help you find the right resources,” she said eagerly, as though she’d been waiting for this for a while. “I’d love to.”
“Okay, thanks. I think… I think I need it.”
She smiled at me with pure, unadulterated love. Who needed Rough and Ready? Phoebe and Henry would be my home. And with her help, maybe I could finally begin to move beyond my past.
We walked down the trail to the campground, passing low mossy rocks and a few fat squirrels, and entered into a ring of trailers and tents.
