It wasn’t their way.
My father might have preferred having no one there. They’d lived a relatively solitary life. Just the two of them. And there was me. We’d been in our van. It had been our world or no world.
The people who came were there for me.
I couldn’t be an island unto myself. I needed these people. I always had.
“My wife wasn’t a woman of many words. She helped with the gifts bestowed upon her and loved her family. She never judged. She never hated. This is sooner than I would have hoped, and yet with the world blowing up, I’m not sad she isn’t here to worry about it anymore. I loved her. I think that’s all there really is.”
Ross could see what I could. His eyes met mine, and he nodded that he wouldn’t say anything, wouldn’t tell my father that my mother was there. She hadn’t crossed. She would have to be cleared. She wasn’t in the van or the house. That meant she’d attached to a person, my father. He’d seen ghosts in his closet growing up, yet not as an adult. He believed. He was psychic in his way. He believed in her.
I walked to the urn. It was just the dust, the ash of life. What remained of my mother shouldn’t be watching us do this, and yet she did.
I opened the lid and turned until the wind was at my back. I didn’t want it to blow on our people. When I was sure it wouldn’t, I let her go. Her human life done.
The next would come.
If we would have had last words, we couldn’t. I wouldn’t allow my father to suffer, thinking his wife hadn’t moved on. She had the ghost look of not really being there. I walked back to the crowd. “Levi,” I whispered to him. “Distract my father.”
He furrowed his eyebrows. His language wasn’t entirely back. There seemed to be some things he simply couldn’t talk about. Any mention of Top Hat caused him pain, and he still hadn’t managed to get out whatever he wanted to tell me about what he ‘did.’
“Please.” I’d explain later if he’d just do this one thing.
“Hey, kids, let’s give grandpa a hug.” Grayson made a face—he’d never liked to be forced to hug anyone—but complied. The others did as well. My father tugged them all close. I raised my hand, and with as much a goodbye as anything else, I sent my mother away.
We went back into the house for food. I don’t know who had the wherewithal to cook, but I was grateful. My stomach couldn’t tolerate the thought, and yet I had to get some protein in me. My baby needed it.
After a long tug on a water bottle, my father wanted to go home to his van. I hugged him and kissed his cheek. “You’re not alone.”
He smiled sadly. “I know, honey. Did you send her away?”
He’d known. Why on earth would I have thought he wouldn’t? My dad knew everything. He always did. “I sent her on. Dad?”
“Hmm.”
“Did she hate me?”
He kissed me once more. “No, baby. She loved you more than life. Don’t remember the end. Remember the other times.”
Was such a thing even possible?
With my father gone, I asked Levi to take the kids. He was glad to have them with him. The poor man had been through so much. He deserved to rest, and that was the last thing we could give them. My mind was so full. Every once in a while, a thought would travel through it. How can the world continue to spin without my mom in it? How did the sun set without Malcolm?
Someone had made meatballs. I popped one in my mouth and then nearly choked on how hot it was. I must have turned bright red.
Logan laughed at me and then froze, his pupils getting huge. “Hey man, I don’t understand it. Why would you live so close to us if you never intended to participate in the fight?”
“What?” His words made no sense; he didn’t even sound like himself. Hey man?
Victoria stopped moving and turned around. She made quick eye contact with me. “Logan?”
Peter fell forward, gripping the side of the counter. Like Logan, his pupils enlarged. “Cowardice is cowardice, and I have no time for it. You either believe in the moon, Troy, or you don’t.”
I knew that intonation even though it came out of Peter’s mouth and not Malcolm’s. Cowardice. Moon. I swung around. Now that I heard it, I could hear Chase too. What was going on?
Ross sucked in a breath, his eyes doing the same as the other two. “I am not going to be forced to do anything, Malcolm. This is not the old days. We’re not with the Others—Michael, Rafael and Gabriel all kissing your ass like you were the one thing they’d waited for their whole lives. I’ve lived a good life. I’m a doctor. I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to do.”
Yep, it was Troy. That was pretty much exactly what he’d said to me.
Peter pointed his finger at Ross. “You know what? I don’t have time for your level of bullshit right now. I have to be back home to my girl. She’s waiting for me. So I’m going to tell you how it’s going to be. You shouldn’t be alive. You should have died in that car accident and stayed that way. The Others gave you another chance. You don’t get to say no. You’re going to get your shit together and come with us, or I’ll carry you there. That’s how it’ll work.”
Oh, Malcolm. I closed my eyes for a second. He’d never had any patience for anyone. This was the last time they’d been seen, at Troy’s. We were hearing those moments. The question was, why?
Logan stood. “Let’s calm down. I’m not carrying anyone anywhere they don’t want to be. Have I lost all respect for you, Troy? Yes. Do I want to punch you in the face? Yes. Am I going to? No.”
Troy in Ross’ body stormed forward. “You two were in charge there. Even Kendall got sick of you two.” I didn’t think that was exactly true. At some point Henry entered the kitchen and wrapped his arms around Victoria. They watched in silence.
Ross-as-Troy continued. “You can’t run me anymore. I won’t let you. I’m more powerful than the two of you. Think you can come into my life and make things bad? Think you can drive me into a battle we can’t win? You will live to regret you ever came here.”
He waved his hands in the air. “I call upon the powers that fill us, that make us, that sustain us.”
Victoria cursed. “Shit. He did craft.”
I stepped toward Ross like he was really Troy. I could picture him like he was now. Instead of seeing Ross, I saw Troy in his strange, uninviting home. Okay, Malcolm and Chase had been assholes. It was probably better if, in the future, they didn’t do anything that required any tact. But what Troy seemed to be doing crossed a line forbidden to witches.
“You will sleep. For as long as the power moves through me, you will sleep. And if you ever wake you, won’t know time has passed. You’ll think the world was as it was when everything moved on.”
“Wait,” Peter cried out and then nothing.
Victoria surged out of Henry’s arms as Logan, Peter, and Ross all fell forward, catching themselves. “That turd. That little turd. That is forbidden magic. Old as time. Practitioners used to curse someone to sleep until the witch no longer had power in her body. The witch or wizard would die decades later and the person would wake to find out their whole life had changed, everyone they knew was dead or old. And they were still young. They don’t age. They don’t change. They sleep. They don’t even need food or lose muscle mass. They’ll wake like it was moments.”
Ross put a hand over his eyes. “Ouch.”
Logan groaned, and Peter put his arm around him, and they walked to the table together. Finally, Peter swore. “I never want to do that again. That’s very different than a vision. Who did that to us? I see the future, not the past.”
Mary was upstairs out cold, and Michael had sworn he didn’t know where they were, and I believed him. This was from somewhere else.
I sank to the floor. This was the straw that broke the camel’s back. In this scenario, I was the camel. I was on all fours. My stomach ached, cramped. I knew that wasn’t good. I didn’t want to miscarry. Stress wasn’t good for me and the baby, but I couldn’t help the onslaught of pain t
ravelling through my body.
Somewhere, Malcolm was asleep. He’d never wake up until Troy was dead. I’d probably be an old woman, if I lived that long, and he might never know about the baby. What had I done to the universe that it hated me so much? Had I been such an awful child? Why take my mother and Malcolm and Chase? Why do this to me?
Victoria pulled me into her arms. “Don’t do that. You’re hurting yourself and the baby.” I felt her soothing energy move through me. “Stop.”
I grabbed onto her arm. “Don’t tax yourself making me better.”
“Don’t tell me when and how to use my powers. Listen to me. He’s not a very good wizard. He always thought he was better than he was. He’s a turd. A big giant turd. Okay, he pulled off the spell. Fine. There’s no way he’s maintaining it. It’s got to be pulling on him, like he’s going to be feeling sick. Not only that, but he’ll have to keep pushing energy into it. If I did the spell, I wouldn’t need to. He does. Trust me. They’re okay.”
I hugged her close. “The spell lasts as long as he has power.”
“Then we take his power. One way or another.”
I loved her.
Eventually, we all stopped reeling from what happened. I could see resolve in the eyes of my friends. They wanted to get this done. We gathered around the dining room table. Peter, Logan, Ross without Erin—who’d had enough for one day—Block and Patricia together, Annika—who was quiet but there—Victoria, Henry, and I. Jenny excused herself. She couldn’t hear it if we were going to do something illegal. I wanted to laugh at that statement. Jenny loved thinking of devious things and not finding out if they actually happened. The woman was a trip.
“I guess the ultimate question here”—Ross fiddled with his Styrofoam cup—“is, can you take his powers, Victoria?”
She sat back. “No, that’s not something I can do.”
“Then what do we do? The curse holds them in stasis”—I liked that word to describe it— “until we do something about his powers.”
Logan cleared his throat. “We kill him.”
I was so sick of death. The room fell silent except for the ticking of the clock on the wall. Tick. Tick. Tick. I didn’t mind the thought of Troy dead. I really didn’t. But were we going to be actually able to kill someone? Patricia shifted in her seat. I hated that she had to see this. All I really needed was for her to go to the police. Boom. Jail time to add to everything else.
“I’ll squish his head.” Henry looked down at the table. “We know I can. I did it once, by accident, when I first got back from the Other space. I killed a boy bullying me. They called it an aneurysm. It wasn’t. I can do it …”
Block shook his head, his hand squeezing Patricia’s on the table. “Hate to interject this, hate to even think it, but before we go ahead and decide you are going to kill Troy, I have to point out that he’s one of us. We were all sent back here. Chelsea is dead. Mary is back. He’s evil. He’s screwed up. Always was. The Others thought we needed him.”
I rubbed my eyes. “We can’t get Malcolm and Chase back without him dying. We need them more.” What the hell was the matter with Block?
He leaned forward. “Kendall.” He used his let’s-calm-Kendall-down tone. “We can. Yes, we’ll kill Troy. It won’t be Henry smashing in his head with his power. We’ll kill him, okay. The magic ends on Malcolm and Chase. And then you bring Troy back.” He pointed at Mary. “The same way you did her.”
“What if I don’t want to? What if I want Troy to stay dead?”
His gaze wouldn’t let me drop his. “The Others thought we needed him. So frankly, my friend, I don’t give a fuck what you want on that matter. Bring him back. That’s your job, lightbringer.”
Block had just told me off. And he’d done a really good job of it. I was gobsmacked quiet. The rest of them continued to speak. We didn’t have a death plan, and then we did. Victoria could kill him, but with her powers that was forbidden, and no one wanted to ask her to risk herself breaking that rule. In the end, it was simple.
Henry’s offer stood. The healing from death would fix his smooshed in head. Malcolm and Chase would be set free from their curse. Then I’d bring the man who took Malcolm and Chase from us back to life to try to disrupt us again.
When everyone got up, I stayed in my seat. We were going to Fredericksburg in the middle of the night. I didn’t see the need to be anywhere right then. Patricia rose, smiling at me before she left the room. Block didn’t move.
“We buried your mom today, and I bit off your head. I’m sorry.”
I shook my head. “No, you’re not.”
“I think this is the right thing to do. Troy is needed somehow.”
“And you’re so sure you’re right you had to bite my head off to make your point. Fine, Block. Let’s hope you are. I hope it’s not the biggest giant mistake ever. Or maybe the next time he decides to hurt us, it won’t be Malcolm and Chase. It’ll be you. And then we can all be miserable without you, worried about your whereabouts. Patricia can cry herself to sleep at night. Or maybe the next time he’ll decide not to curse you to sleep. He’ll kill you. And I’ll be bringing you back from the dead.” I was done. “My mom was a really good person, and I can’t do anything to pause her death sentence. Troy is horrific. It’s bad enough we have to kill him. I get to give him a chance to do this again.”
He didn’t say anything. That was fine by me. Sometimes it’s okay to tell my friends when they’re being utter jackasses. Troy needed to die, and I’d see if I felt so compliant when the time came. Only I could use the phoenix to restore life. Only I told death “not yet” or “bring them back.”
Only me.
Troy might very well stay where he got sent, and if he happened not to leave, he’d better hope Mary or Ross or—hell—Malcolm wanted to send him on. I’d leave him attached to the world to suffer through the shadows coming in. I wasn’t in the mood to give him an inch of sympathy. For the first time, I could understand why Malcolm had carted our murderer around for so long. He’d said it was because the man had killed me. Not him. Me. Troy hurt Malcolm. I wanted him to suffer.
And if that made me a really bad person, then so be it.
“I want him back too, Kendall.”
I leaned forward. “Don’t you mean lightbringer? Isn’t that what you called me a few minutes ago? You want the lightbringer. You’ll get her.”
“I really fucked up. I’m exhausted. Forgive me.”
I shrugged and got up. “Forgive yourself, Block. I’m not a priest. You’re family. You’ll always be. Doesn’t mean I have to like every word that comes out of your mouth or that you have to agree with everything I think and feel. Not one of us is perfect.”
I went upstairs to my room. Pulling off my funeral clothes, I changed into something more comfortable. I’d worn grey and yellow to my mom’s funeral. She’d have hated it to be a totally solemn occasion. To get Malcolm and Chase, I put on all black. Black jeans and a turtleneck to match. The outfit showed off my growing stomach. My boots were comfortable. I pulled my all-white hair back on my head.
I looked startling to say the least. I wanted Malcolm to think I was gorgeous, but I wanted Troy to be afraid of me more.
A knock caught my attention. Block really didn’t know how to leave well enough alone. “Don’t bring him back if it feels wrong.”
“Thanks for your permission.” I was tired. I was pissed. And he was here. He should really move.
He opened his arms, and before I knew what was happening, I’d hugged him. “You can be such a bitch. But we all love you.”
“Thanks.”
I’d needed that hug.
A knock sounded, and Block let me go. We both turned toward the door. On the other side was Mary, awake and older than I’d ever known her. She embraced me in another hug. I let her, even though she and I had never been particularly close. It was a day for hugs.
“Thank you for bringing me back. You have to save my brother.”
I pulled back to
nod. “We leave at 3 A.M. Are you up for the trip?”
“Without a doubt. I’m loaded with energy, and I won’t screw up again. Michael never stopped berating me.”
I could imagine. “He took you again? He, once again, couldn’t let you rest in peace?”
“With the phoenix still out there and you able to use it, there was a possibility we were coming back. We had to stay with him to do so.”
We. Light dawned on me. “Chelsea.”
She nodded. “That’s right. She’s still here for you, Kendall. As I was.”
“She’s here for us. This isn’t just my fight.”
Block came up to give Mary a gentle hug. “The only one who doesn’t know that this is her war to run is Kendall herself. Don’t mind her. She’s slow on the uptake sometimes.”
Chapter Eleven
We arrived in Fredericksburg at four in the morning. The town was asleep. We’d taken four cars, two of them Chase’s—we hoped he wouldn’t mind. I drove, with Ross in the passenger seat. He looked out the window.
“There are other things we could try than Henry smashing Troy’s head in. I mean, I didn’t bring it up because, honestly, I wasn’t sure what I could do. I’m a doctor. I can’t … I’m not supposed to do harm. But I have something in my bag, and I think it could work. I’m just …”
I put my hand on Ross’s shoulder. “None of us want you to do anything you’re not comfortable with. Okay? Don’t risk your sense of self. Ever. We never get that back, not really, when it goes away. Hold onto it like it’s your most valuable asset. Malcolm would tell you the same thing.”
He nodded once, his eyes downward. “I’m looking forward to seeing the SOB again, and Chase, too. I feel their presence missing from the group. I don’t miss Troy. I think that speaks volumes.”
“If Block is right, we need him.” For what I couldn’t imagine. But the Others had made us a team. Of course, I was still not sure I was going to be able to not wring his neck.
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