by Katy Kaylee
He grumped. “The wrong place.”
Amber narrowed her eyes. “You know what? I am being more than understanding of your temper tantrum, Jordan Stark, but this is my damn life. I can make whatever decisions I want about it, and I don’t need your permission for any of it. It’s not fair that you are treating me like I stole your puppy or something.”
The locks on the door clicked and Jordan appeared through its opening, standing there angrily. He pointed his finger in her face. “Every single thing I’ve said and done is absolutely one hundred percent fair. You slept with my best friend and then tried to hide it from me and everyone else in the family. There are a million men out there, and you had to sleep with my best friend. That tore him and me apart.”
Amber crossed her arms over her chest. “No, you and your attitude tore the two of you apart. You are the one who cancelled him being your best man and threatened his life. You are the one who made it weird and awkward. You are the one who can’t come to terms with it.”
He huffed and walked into the room, Amber following after him. She stopped and watched as he paced back and forth. Finally, he stopped and turned to her. “What about Bradley?”
Amber sneered, shaking her head. “What does he have to do with this?”
Jordan grabbed a piece of paper off the desk and held it out, her face wide at the top. “This article says that the two of you were seeing each other before he left five years ago. This infers that not only had this been going on right under our noses in Mom and Dad’s house, but that Bradley is really Logan’s child. Is Logan his father, Amber? Have you been keeping that from us and from him for the last five years?”
Amber scoffed and threw up her hands. “No, damnit. You read one article where they are reaching, and reaching far, and all of a sudden you come up with that? Do you believe Jerry Springer is all good television and no dramatization or acting too? Come on, Jordan. Bradley is my son, and that is all anyone needs to know. The article is trying to throw shade, and it’s going to lose Logan his company if we aren’t careful here. You may say you don’t care because you are angry, but I know you do.”
Jordan plopped down in the chair and threw the paper on the floor. “So, the article is bullshit?”
Amber sighed and leaned against his desk. “Yes. Bullshit.”
Jordan grumps. “Good, because I would hate to actually have a reason to kill him. Then there would be my conscience and Bradley to think of. It would get messy really fast. I just wish you could have been honest with me about what was happening.”
Amber rolled her eyes. “You mean, call you the second our lips parted?”
Jordan winced. “Gross. Just don’t.”
Amber bent down in front of him. “Look, things are confusing. They got even more confusing when the whole world decided to weigh in on my life and make whatever story they wanted to. On top of that, I can’t even think about the simplest part of this, Logan and I, because my family is acting like I started dating Hitler. Everyone is thinking about themselves, how it makes them feel, but no one is considering that I can’t have five seconds to decide how it makes me feel.”
Jordan looked up at her with pity. “Maybe you’re right. I should have stepped back a second and actually spoken to you. It just all made me so furious.”
Jordan stood up and wrapped his arms around his sister. “This doesn’t mean I forget. I’ll just take a time out for a bit and let you take a breather.”
Amber laughed. “Thanks, big brother.”
He pulled back and shook his head. “You will be the death of me one day, pixie.”
Amber smiled and turned toward the door. “I’ll talk to you soon. I gotta get the monster home, bathed, and in bed.”
Jordan waved his hand. “Yeah, yeah. See you soon.”
Amber walked back into the entrée way and put her arms out as Bradley ran to her. She gave Melissa a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks. I’ll see you guys soon.”
Melissa nodded. “Hopefully in a better mood.”
Amber scoffed as they walked out of the door and back down to the car. She got Bradley strapped into his car seat and climbed into the front. As they headed back out onto the road, Bradley called out to her. “Mommy?”
Amber turned down the music. “Yeah, sweetie?”
Bradley kicked his feet up and down. “Why did Uncle Jordan ask if Logan was my dad?”
Amber’s eyes shot up in the rearview and panic built in her chest. She hadn’t realized that he had heard that. She took a second and then forced a smile over her lips. “Oh, honey, he was just joking. It was an adult joke between the two of us.”
“Oh, okay,” he said happily looking out the window.
Amber let out a deep breath thankful that Bradley was so little and bought it instantly. At the same time, though, looking in the mirror at the little person who she loved more than herself, guilt began to flood her. She was lying to her son, and never letting him know his dad. He would grow up always questioning that and not having any clue that his mom could have remedied that from the very beginning. She was always trying to do what was best for Bradley, that was her job. When he was first born, Logan was nowhere around and hadn’t spoken a word to her since he left. How was she supposed to tell her son his dad was close without risking that he would hurt Bradley?
She took her eyes from him and stared at the road as she drove along. She never thought she would reach the moment where she was actually questioning her decision. She thought she would go the rest of her life avoiding him until he no longer came around anymore. Never in Amber’s wildest dreams did she think that she would end up working for him, much less be back in some weird relationship with him again. She hated that she cared for him so much. She hated that he truly was a good person. She loved and hated that every time he was around Bradley, it was like magic.
That morning, she had even stood there watching Logan help Bradley turn his shirt around and wondered what it would be like for the three of them to be a family. She was allowing herself to get in too deep again and it was starting to raise questions all around her. She wasn’t sure if she could keep the secret with all the media snooping around her life.
Up until recently she thought that Logan would be better off not knowing about Bradley. When he left her on her own and went out to New York, he showed her that his future was more important than their relationship. No matter what he wrote in that letter, she didn’t believe for a second that he was doing it for anyone but himself. Throwing the wrench of a kid into the mix would have confused him and caused a lot of damage between the two of them. In the end, she really didn’t think it would change a thing. Logan was used to his freedom, to his high living lifestyle, and to not having to be responsible for another person. Telling him that would change all of it. Or, if her worst fears were true, it wouldn’t change anything, leaving Bradley in the dust, broken hearted.
The problem was, between the media, Bradley’s suspicion, and now her brother, she didn’t know if she was going to be able to keep the secret. She didn’t know if at any moment he was going to find out, or realize it. She could tell earlier that day that he didn’t believe her when she told him no. She could tell that he had his own suspicions and, if she was being honest, he would have to be dumb not to. In order for it not to be his, she would have technically had to have been sleeping with someone else before they broke up, which obviously wasn’t happening. Best case scenario, she slept with someone the day he left, but he knew her better than that. She wasn’t that kind of girl.
They pulled into the condo’s parking garage and she rested her head back against the seat. She glanced up in the rearview mirror at Bradley, who was fast asleep. She stared at his angelic little face, seeing Logan more and more every day in those eyes, those cheeks, and the way he furrowed his brow when he was unhappy. She didn’t even know how she had gotten away with it for that long; the kid looked just like Logan. She guessed when you weren’t looking for it, it was easy to pass by.
She go
t out of the car and went around, carefully unbuckling Bradley and pulling him into her arms. He wrapped his arms around her and laid his head on her shoulder. “Mommy…” he said sleepily.
“Mhmm,” she replied, walking him to the elevator.
“Will my daddy ever come back?”
Amber’s heart broke right then and there with guilt. She didn’t even know what to say, so she just wrapped her arms around her son and squeezed him tightly. While Logan was over there blaming himself for everything, Amber was doing the same. Everything had led up to that point because she never told the truth. The question she had always dreaded from her son had just become a reality, and she didn’t know where to turn.
46
Logan
“Hey, sweetie,” Lisa said kindly, kissing Logan on the cheek.
Matt reached out and apprehensively shook his hand. “Good to see you.”
Jordan and Melissa were already inside Lisa and Matt’s dining room. They were having a family dinner again, and Logan knew this one wouldn’t go by without some sort of questions. Logan didn’t know what to say, though. He had barely talked to Amber at all. Work had been crazy at the end of the week, and everything else was just a blur. He had spent Saturday at home, sleeping half the day, and then answering back emails just to get his mind off of everything.
Logan knew he could have called Amber, or even stopped by, but he didn’t know how to talk to her. He felt like she was lying to him, and about something that was really big. He wasn’t even sure, no matter what happened, even if they ended up together, if he would ever get the honest truth from her. That was what was bothering him the most; the fact that she wouldn’t be honest with him. Who knew, maybe she was being honest and it was all in his head, but he had never felt that way around her before. It was heart wrenching.
On one hand, he wanted to be around her, by her side. He always wanted that, it was part of the connection that they had. At the same time, though, that connection felt almost dishonest when he couldn’t just look at her and get a straight answer out of her. He wasn’t sure what to do but to continue on the same course he had ever since he arrived. Things would either work out with Amber or they wouldn’t, and in the meantime, he had a company that he was desperately trying to hold together. The investors were not happy, especially with the reports of him possibly having a child all that time. It made him look like a dead beat to the public, and the public was letting everyone know exactly how they felt.
Between the posts, the articles, and the drop in stock prices, it was obvious that no one was interested in hearing what he had to say about it. The investors listened and took what he said into account, but when it came down to it, they didn’t care whether he had a kid or not, they cared if they were making money. They cared if the stories were pushing down stock prices. He may be worth millions, but the company was relatively new in the grand scheme of things. It was really in its infancy and hadn’t even begun to touch the depths of what was possible. If they were going to jump ship, they were going to do it when they could still make a profit on it, not when everything blew up in their faces.
Just then, Amber walked around the corner holding Bradley’s hand. Her mom got up and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Before we have dinner, we want to talk. Aunt Melissa is going to take Bradley in the other room and show him the new toy Grammie got for him.”
Bradley’s eyes lit up. “I love toys.”
Everyone chuckled, including Logan. Lisa kissed Bradley on the cheek as Melissa took his hand, walking him into the other room. Logan watched every step the little boy took, and he couldn’t tell if it was his mind playing tricks on him or just things he hadn’t noticed before. Now that he was paying attention, he couldn’t help but see the massive similarities between the little boy and himself.
Amber took off her light coat and hung it on the back of the chair. She glanced up at Logan and then sat down. Logan could almost see the nerves pulsing through her, and he couldn’t figure out why. She had faced her parents before and they pretty much already knew what they were going to tell them.
Lisa sat down and nodded at Matt. Matt took in a deep breath and crossed his arms. “There has been a lot of news floating around and we would really appreciate it if we could get the truth of what is going on from the source instead of reading it online each morning. We aren’t angry, I want you to know that.”
Jordan grumped. “Speak for yourself.”
Lisa tossed her napkin at Jordan. “Stop being so dramatic. This isn’t your life.”
Jordan pouted but sat up, paying better attention. Matt shook his head at his son and looked over at Logan and then Amber. “It’s obvious that there is something more than just friendship going on between the two of you. Unfortunately, these pictures are out there from the restaurant last week. As much as I think it is despicable that the media is interfering in your private lives, I also want to say that I’m glad things are coming to light. We are your family, we support your decisions, and we will respect them. The problem is, we feel deceived. We feel like we’ve been left in the dark.”
Amber sighed. “I’m sorry Daddy, and Mom, and Jordan. There was no evil scheme behind it. We weren’t purposefully trying to keep you in the dark. There were things we were trying to figure out before we came to anyone. It doesn’t do much good to come to you with something that we hadn’t even figured out ourselves. Then the picture came out, and the stories, and it all got blown out of proportion. Like I told Jordan when I talked to him the other day, neither I nor Logan have had a chance to sit down and take a deep breath. We haven’t had time to process anything before or after the pictures were put up. After that, everything started to explode.”
Matt nodded his head. “And now that you’ve had a moment? Can we have an explanation of what is going on?”
Logan spoke up. “Nothing is really going on. It’s obvious that I care about Amber very much and there is obviously something going on, but there hasn’t been enough time to explore those feelings. It happened out of nowhere. There was no plan behind it. I wasn’t chasing Amber down, and she wasn’t doing the same to me. Things came naturally between us, organically.”
“That is often the best way,” Lisa said, winking at Amber.
Matt rolled his eyes at his wife. “I read an article the other day that talked about the possibility of Bradley being your child. The timeline, I have to say, is pretty convincing. You left and then a few weeks later, Amber finds out she is pregnant. Those things don’t just show up overnight, and we didn’t even have an inkling that Amber was seeing a soul.”
Logan put up his hands, glancing over at Amber’s panic. “All of that is the media trying to pull at straws. I’ll be honest, I don’t know the story behind Amber’s pregnancy and I have no right to because it has nothing to do with me. Nothing ever happened before I came back this last time…”
Amber sighed and slammed her hand on the table. “Enough. Just stop. I’m tired of the lies, I’m tired of the hiding. I’m just plain tired. You all want to know the truth? I fell in love with Logan that summer when he left. He fell in love with me too. It came out of nowhere and just happened. We made plans to be together, to build a life together, but he left. In a letter he wrote to me he left because he felt he had to make a life in order to be able to support me and give me what I deserved. He asked me to wait for him, but I was so angry…”
Lisa put out her hand and touched her arm. “Honey.”
Amber shook her head, tears streaming down her face. Logan could feel the anxiety building inside of him. She continued. “I was so angry that I refused to ever see him again. A few weeks later I found out I was pregnant. It’s true. Bradley is in fact, Logan’s child. I was too afraid to tell you all, and too afraid to tell Logan because of how he left me. I wanted to protect Bradley from anyone and anything that could ever hurt him. But when Logan came back into our lives, I knew it was only a matter of time until the truth had to come out.”
Logan’s hands gripped int
o fists as he sat there staring down at the middle of the table. Everything felt like a dream. Amber leaned forward catching his eyes. “I’m sorry, Logan. I’m so sorry I lied to you. I’m sorry I lied to everyone. I let my fear cloud my judgment.”
Logan had thought for days that it might be the case, that Bradley might be his son. That didn’t stop the haze and fog from entering his brain. It was a lot to take in all at once, and with everyone silently staring at him. He had to wrap his head around the entire concept, he had to understand what was happening. He stood up from the table and looked around at everyone. “I’m sorry. I need to go… I need some air.”
He took off from the table, not even waiting for anyone’s response. His thoughts were rushing through his mind. Visions of Amber and him, visions of Bradley, visions of a future he never thought he would have, they were all meshing together. He ran through the door and straight out to the car waiting for him. He jumped inside and the driver hurried into the front seat. “Done already, sir?”
Logan nodded. “Yes, please take me home, and hurry out of here.”
The driver nodded and pulled out of the driveway. Logan was too scared to look behind him. He didn’t think he could handle Amber chasing after him. He had been stomped out of his own son’s life for four years. He knew that part of it was his fault. He had left, abandoned Amber, and all after she had given up her dreams for him. At the same time, she could have told him at any time since he had been back, and not just that time, but the dozens of visits he had paid over the years. But she had hidden away, too afraid of him to come out with the truth.
“I’m a father,” he whispered to himself as they drove along through LA.
He stared at the lights, thinking about all the times he had ridden with his father through those same streets. He had been so young, and felt like the world was so big. In that moment, though, Logan felt like the entire world was crushing down on him. He felt like there was a million pounds sitting on his chest and another million on his shoulders. He didn’t know what the right response was, and he didn’t know how he was allowed to feel about it. He just wanted the air to return to his lungs.
