I shrugged. “Hearing isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. None of them would be able to last a day in the silence. It’s always music and phone noises and alarms. You and me, we get to see so much more of the world, without the distractions of all the sound.” I pictured Helena in my mind as I added, “The colors, the shapes, the way people interact without even a word. It’s all there, if you know how to see it.”
Rose smirked. “Like the love between you and Helena? I saw you that first night, at the party. She was affectionate when people were watching, but then when the eyes turned away, it wasn’t there anymore, like she was unsure and afraid.” She paused a second. “But the last couple of days, she’s been different. She looks at you when no one else is paying attention. She watches you like a cartoon character with heart-shaped eyes and butterflies in her stomach, not just on her ribs.”
I watched Rose for a second, looking for any sign that she was teasing me, or that she wasn’t telling the truth. But even through her playful expression and words, she seemed earnest, like it was as obvious as the fact that the sky was blue.
“You though… You’ve always looked like you’re in love with my cousin.” Rose smiled softly. “Are you going to tell me what’s really going on here?”
Sighing, I looked up and down the hall, making sure no one was watching us. That Helena wasn’t watching.
“We met in L.A. a couple months ago. She asked me to come with her, to pretend to be her fiancé and I asked her to be my muse. I don’t know. It doesn’t feel so fake anymore. She’s everything I’ve ever wanted, and I don’t know if she feels the same, or if she’s just playing with me the same way she’s lying to her family.” I shrugged, unsure of what else to do. “I don’t know if I can just walk away after the wedding, but I don’t know if she wants anything more from me once it’s done, either.”
“Have you considered just asking her?” Rose grinned. “Maybe the people in the other room aren’t the only ones who are letting their hearing get in the way of being able to really see.”
Rose walked back into the living room, leaving me alone in the hall with my thoughts.
24
Helena
The rehearsal was just as tedious as I assumed it would be. Daphne seemed to have a million questions, and the officiant was more patient than a Catholic saint.
Me? Not so much. My feet hurt in my new shoes, and I felt way too overdressed. Shining and sticking out was not my strong suit, especially around my family. It seemed like all eyes were on me when they really should’ve been on Daphne.
Well, almost all eyes.
Gio, the one person I felt comfortable staring at me, seemed more interested in Rose.
They sat near the back of the ceremony space, signing back and forth like old friends.
“They look awfully chummy.” Penelope leaned over, following my gaze to Gio and Rose. “You don’t think she’s flirting with him, do you?”
“No, of course not.” I looked back at Daphne, who still seemed unsure about exactly how to place her feet, and what to do with her hands.
I hadn’t been thinking about it, but now that it was in my head, it felt like it was just eating its way into my fears.
The two of them made a hell of a lot more sense. Rose was gorgeous, and I was sure the only reason she wasn’t having one of these big weddings of her own was that some boys just couldn’t see past her hearing loss. That wasn’t a problem with Gio. Hell, maybe he liked the idea of that better. He’d hidden it from me, but with her, he didn’t have to.
“They’re sitting really close. Not paying any attention at all to the rehearsal. It’s a good thing neither of them would be asked to step in.” She looked down at my dress, like she had at least a dozen times already today. “And she didn’t have to try so hard.”
I wanted to glare at her, but I knew that action would just earn me a stare-down from Mom or Daphne. Instead, I turned my focus back to the bride, wishing I could just block out Penelope and her comments. I was already struggling to feel good enough for a man like Gio, and Penelope wasn’t helping with that at all.
Finally, Marcus said, “I think we’ve got it figured out, dear. Let’s not keep everyone up here forever.” He leaned over and kissed Daphne, and I swore we all let out a collective sigh of relief.
Daphne leaned into him and smiled. “I just want everything to be perfect tomorrow. I don’t want anything to ruin our perfect day.”
“As long as I get to call you my wife by the end of it, it’ll be everything I’ve ever wanted.”
Several other women let out gooey “aww” sounds, but my focus shifted back to Gio.
Would he be the kind of guy who would say things like that to his future wife? Or would he be more stoic?
My stomach rolled at the idea that someone else would get to find out. That I would have to let him go. That he would drift away from me, and into the arms of someone as perfect as he was.
As the wedding party disbanded and started making their way to the waiting cars for dinner, I made a beeline for the bathroom instead.
Maybe Penelope was right. Maybe I was just trying too hard, fooling myself, trying to hold onto something that was never going to be mine to begin with.
I stared at myself in the mirror as I tried to will my stomach to calm down. As I tried to convince myself that Gio wasn’t that kind of guy, and that he wouldn’t buy me a dress like this, just to mock me for it later.
The door opened, and Rose smiled at me as she came over to the sink. Waving, she signed, “I love your dress.”
“Thanks. You look really pretty tonight.” I smiled back, trying to find some happiness, some genuine joy at seeing her. But it was hard to ignore the pit of my stomach, and Penelope’s words echoing in my head.
“Gio was looking for you. Is everything okay?”
I nodded and signed, “Yes. Just needed a minute.”
It wasn’t entirely a lie.
“I really like him, Helena. He’s a good one.” She turned to the sink and washed her hands before she fluffed her hair. “I’ll let him know you’ll be out soon?”
“Thank you.”
I watched as she left the bathroom. I felt like my heart had sunk so low, it was now lower than my toes.
Inviting Gio here was a mistake. Probably the biggest of my life. And knowing that we were just a couple of days away from being separated, that I’d have to let him walk away, was probably going to crush me.
Dinner was a boisterous affair, and even though I kept trying to steal time alone with Gio, it seemed like forces were determined to keep us apart.
Someone sat down next to him, in the chair I wanted to take. Another person struck up a conversation, just when I was about to sign if we could go out and get some air. It was never ending, for hours, and the longer the party went on, the more wine flowed, and the less I wanted to be there.
It was so much easier when it was just me and Gio.
“You’re going to stay with me tonight, right? Make sure I don’t sneak off and cause myself bad luck on my wedding day?” Daphne was drunk, and as she draped her arm around my shoulder and leaned in, her words slurred, and she spoke a little louder than she probably wanted to.
I looked at Gio, wondering if he’d heard the request.
“No, Hellie, you have to stay with me. I know you’re like, all in love with him or whatever, and the whole house knows why, but I need my sister. You’re my big sister. My first friend. I can’t spend the night before my wedding alone. Please?”
“Okay.” I smiled at her, even though I wanted to pull away and find a pillow to scream in.
Being away from Gio for the night left a pang in my gut. Waking up in his arms was one of the few places I’d found peace and quiet over the week. I liked that he held me, even if it got hot, or I was sweaty or moving around.
It wouldn’t be even close to the same with Daphne. Hell, I wouldn’t have been surprised if she relegated me to a couch or the floor.
Gio’s hand
was suddenly on my shoulder. His voice purred at Daphne, “Can I borrow my fiancée for a few minutes, if you’re going to have her all night?”
Daphne giggled. “Just keep it clean. This is a public place.” She winked at him and dropped her arm from my shoulders as she looked at me. “You know, Hellie, I wouldn’t have picked a guy like Gio for you, but he sure makes you smile.”
I dragged Gio away from the table before Daphne or anyone else could say anything more.
“If you want me to tell her no and stay with you, I completely understand, and I’ll go right back in there and—”
Gio silenced me with a kiss that I felt right down to my toes.
“Hi.” I grinned up at him as I wrapped my arms around his neck. “What was that for?”
“If I’m going to have to let you sleep in another room tonight, I’m getting as many goodnight kisses as I can before I have to let you go.” He smirked. “Have I told you recently how fucking hot you are in this dress?”
“It doesn’t hurt to hear it again.” I leaned into him, immediately feeling more sure of myself in his arms.
“I could rip some of it off you, if that would help.” He waggled his eyebrows and grinned. “You look incredible. Who cares whether it’s fancier than what other people are wearing?”
I shrugged. “You’re sure you’re okay with me spending the night with Daph? If I had known she was going to throw this at me, I would’ve said something sooner.”
“It’s her wedding tomorrow. And with as crazy as she was about where to put her feet, how to hold her hands, and when to look at the minister or Marcus, I’m guessing she needs some stability tonight.” He kissed me again, softer this time, but his hands kept me pulled snugly against him. “Even if it means I’m going to be alone with just my hand.”
I bit my lip, trying not to picture his big, thick cock, or what he’d look like stroking himself. “Maybe once the bride-to-be is passed out from the wine, I can sneak back to you.”
Gio shook his head and kissed my nose. “Stay with your sister. Be there for these moments. You’ll only get a night like this once, right? Or I guess, twice, if you want to stick with tradition before your wedding.”
“I haven’t really thought about it.” Gio was the first man I had ever seriously considered taking that walk down the aisle with. I hadn’t spent a lot of my time thinking about my wedding or future with a man. I just thought about my future with my store, with my own place, with my life.
Needing a change of subject to one that didn’t make me want to drag him to a proverbial coat closet, I said, “You seem to really be hitting it off with Rose.”
He glanced back at the dining room, but his focus quickly returned to me. “I get where she’s at. And I always hate being the only one at a party who doesn’t function the same way as everyone else.” His hands slid over my curves as he said in a seductive growl, “I could’ve found a much better way to occupy my fingers though.”
“Gio, not here.” My voice wavered, coming out much huskier than I intended, betraying my own lust even as I tried to keep it under control.
He smiled like he knew exactly what I was thinking, and stepped back, out of my arms. “Let’s take a walk, get out of here for a minute. It’s so loud in there, I can barely hear myself think. And it has been pure hell not being able to sit next to you all night.”
I slid my hand his and nodded, letting him lead me outside. “I know I’ve said it before but thank you so much for coming here with me. Even if it’s stupid, it’s been really nice having you here, having someone by my side who makes me feel as beautiful, as loved as Marcus makes Daphne feel.”
Gio stopped, pulling me around so that we were face to face again. “Wanting someone to love you isn’t stupid, Helena.”
“That’s not what I meant.” I looked down, not really sure what I meant. Or not wanting to vocalize it. It wasn’t just someone loving me that I wanted. It was Gio. “It’s just a silly way to make it happen, I guess is what I was trying to say. In a perfect world, or at least the world my mother would have planned for me, I would be here with a husband of my own. Not with a guy I picked up on a beach in L.A., who just wanted to draw me in a swimsuit.”
“Hey! I also want to draw you naked, and fully clothed. You can’t fault me just because the first drawing was of you in a swimsuit.” He grinned at me and brushed my hair over my shoulder. “And just because we met on a beach, doesn’t mean that I care for you any less than if I’d met you in a gallery, or if we’d bumped carts in a grocery store, reaching for the same head of broccoli, or whatever fantasy meetings your mom would’ve planned.”
I laughed and shook my head. “It’s not about the meeting. It’s just… hard seeing my little sister so happy, on track, and I’m not.”
Gio pressed a soft kiss to my cheek before saying, “What’s on track? My mom raised thirteen of us. And none of us have the same plan. Tell me something—if you wanted to be married right now, if that had been one of your goals, before Daphne got engaged, would you have made it happen? Like you made your business happen?” He didn’t let me answer. “Your path in life doesn’t have to look like Daphne’s. Or like what your mom would’ve wanted for you.”
I leaned into him, wrapping my arms around his waist as I looked up at the night sky. “What about you? What path are you on?”
Gio was quiet for a long time, long enough I was worried he hadn’t heard me.
But before I could repeat myself, I heard him whisper, “I don’t know anymore. For so long, my plan was just to create art, to live my life. But it seems like lately, my priorities are shifting.”
I lost track of how long we stood there, wrapped in each other’s arms, clinging to each other as the night air cooled slightly. It felt right, being here with him. Being in his arms. I didn’t know how I was going to be able to let him walk away without feeling crushed at the end of all this.
“We should probably get back inside soon. Your sister will be wondering where you’ve run off to, and if we’ve been making use of the coat room all this time.” He winked as he pulled back, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. “Feel free to give her as many graphic details as would sell it to her.”
I laughed, leaning into him. “Are you sure you’re okay with sleeping in separate rooms tonight? I don’t want you feeling like I’ve abandoned you or something.”
“Trust me, I’m a big boy. I’m almost completely over my fear of the dark.” He held the door open for me as we walked back into the venue, ever the gentleman.
Ever the guy I could’ve seen myself spending my life with.
“You are so lucky Gio came back into your life a few months ago. I really didn’t think you’d ever find someone, with as many guys as you’ve pushed away.” Daphne’s head was in my lap, looking up at me as I stroked her hair. “It’s crazy, the timing though, right? I mean, what are the odds that you’d both be in the same place at the same time? Unless… You don’t think he followed you to L.A., do you? He’s not that kind of guy, right? I don’t think I can let my sister marry a creepy stalker.”
I chuckled as I shook my head. “Trust me, he’s not a stalker. It was just an incredible coincidence.”
“Or fate.” She sighed wistfully. “It’s kind of like I brought you together! If I had bought a dress in Texas, or Atlanta or somewhere, you might not have ever run into him again.” She sat up, clapping excitedly. “It’s like I was your fate.”
I fought back an eye roll. There was no way I could admit to her that I didn’t know Gio before L.A., or that I hardly knew him when we all went out to dinner. Not when I felt like things were finally on a steady page. “Then maybe I should’ve gotten you a bigger wedding gift.” I smiled and slid into bed more. “Come on, you need your beauty rest for Marcus tomorrow. These pictures are going to last a lifetime, and the last thing we need is to combat bags under your eyes.”
Mostly, I wanted to nudge her toward sleep, so that she could hopefully get through the inevitable hangover sh
e was going to have before the ceremony.
“I’m so glad you’re here with me, Hellie. I don’t know what I would do without my big sister here to have my back.”
“You’d sneak off and have sex with your fiancé and break all sorts of traditions and superstitions.” I grinned as I pulled her into my arms. “Good thing for you, I’ll keep you from ruining your big day.”
As Daphne drifted off, I stared at the thin beam of light coming in from under the door, thinking about Gio. Wondering if he was having a hard time sleeping without me too. Imagining him painting on the balcony again, kept awake because I wasn’t there.
I knew it was silly to think about, but somehow imagining him suffering as much as I was made it easier to relax next to my sister. Deep sleep was somewhat elusive, just out of reach every time I dozed off, but somehow it hardly seemed to matter.
I didn’t need my beauty sleep, and by the time morning came, I gave up, sneaking out to crawl back into bed with Gio.
25
Giovanni
I barely saw Helena the day of the wedding.
I missed her most of the night, but I kept myself busy with more sketches and the painting I’d started. I tried to think of her as my muse and my sex goddess and my friend, but it just left me wanting her entirely. I didn’t want Helena in pieces—I wanted all of her. I craved her. At least the Helena who stood up for what she wanted and how she wanted to be treated. Other times, the Helena who seemed confused, unsure, and like the only thing she deserved was to settle for less than what she truly deserved, that Helena drove me crazy because I knew she deserved more, wanted more, and above all should absolutely have more.
I kept to myself most of the time until it was time for the big show.
I made my way to the ceremony, and then into the reception. The entire time, her focus was on Daphne and Marcus, while mine was on her.
The Fiancé Agreement Page 20
