by Aisha Urooj
"Ellie, what are you doing?"
"What?"
I raise one eyebrow at her. "What song are you playing?"
"Oh it's nothing..."
I squint my eyes at her lie.
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
"You know he wrote that song about you."
"Yes I know, but I can't help myself......it is just so catchy!"
I just shake my head. Despite Mr. Handsome singer's love song and romantic overtures, Ellie remains dedicated to her acting pursuits which is a little ironic and hypocritical of her considering how much she wants me to date and find Mr. Right!
Ellie often makes fun of me and my (imaginary) list of requirements for my potential dates. She makes it seem like I am super picky. She would pretend to be me, shaking her head in disapproval and ticking off her fingers, "Too loud. Too creepy. Too smelly. Too perfect. Too weird."
When she sees that I don't stop her, she would continue with the exaggeration, "I want someone who gets me. Someone who likes icecream in any weather, but especially in winter and when he has the flu. Someone who likes to listen and someone who likes to talk, preferably does both at the same time. Sensitive but strong. Deep and brawny. A strong, silent but social type."
On and on she would go dramatically: "He shouldn't live too near as that would be too convenient, He shouldn't live too far as that would be inconvenient, etc etc"
As she seems to enjoy her creative little monologues I don't correct her, but personally, I think that she is wrong and being silly about the situation. Despite what she says, I would say I am pretty open-minded. I do have only one major requirement though, above anything else, I don't want to date anyone named John.
"What if it is your John?"
"What do you mean?", I say blushing and trying not to think back to John Damon from high school.
"What if John comes looking for you? You wont send him away and ignore him again."
"You make me sound like a heart-breaker!"
"You didn't answer back his texts."
"I was sixteen!.......I didn't know any better," I say sheepishly.
"So you admit you did him wrong! Now that you know better, you won't do it again?"
"What if he doesn't come back?"
"What if he does?"
"What if he doesn't remember me?"
"What if he did?"
I can see that Ellie won't let the topic go and my brain starts to get tired of the hypothetical situation, exasperated I say, "If John comes back, I will never send him away."
"You promise Cassie?"
"Yes, yes I promise!......but til that happens, I don't want to date anyone named John."
Ellie laughs, "I feel sorry for Johns everywhere."
"Maybe they are the lucky ones", I mutter darkly.
Chapter Twenty-Four: Blind Date
I am set up for a blind date by a well-meaning neighbor, who says that she has the perfect match for me.
As I head towards my date, Ellie reassures me that she will bail me out if things don't go well. I reach the restaurant to see a guy who could be mistaken for a Abercrombie model, dressed impeccably, waiting by the front doors. As he is already on time and waiting for me with a pleasant smile, I feel that the date would go well and that I was unnecessarily worried about calling Ellie for help. As the date progresses, however, my blind setup starts to fall under the category of "too weird."
"So...I will tell you upfront that I am looking for the one," my blind date says looking at me expectedly. "I am a very faithful person and I want to spend the rest of my life with that special someone. I want to wake up every morning next to the special lady by my side."
"That sounds lovely...what kind of person are you looking for?"
"Good question, I can see that you are very smart! I am looking for someone like me...you know confident, open-minded and..of course, someone as pretty as you. I have never met a girl as pretty as you Cassandra!"
"Please..c..call..call me Cassie", I stammer, suddenly feeling very self-conscious after his bold compliment.
"So you stammer? How cute! If you stay with me I promise that you will never stammer again...I have that effect on people you know? I think I they look up to me seeing my confidence and success as quite a remarkable entrepreneur. I inspire them for sure! You know there was a time when I had solved......."
My blind date continues talking about his talents but I am taken aback by what he had said. Suddenly I remember a conversation I had with John, then I had also inadvertently stammered on our date.
"I am s..sorry John, sometimes I s..stammer when I get n..nervous...", I say embarrassed.
"Please Cassie, I wish you wouldn't apologize for that. It isn't anything to be embarassed about. You are not alone, many people have difficulty with speech...I did too. You have such original thoughts and ideas, that I would truly grieve to miss out on, if you felt too embarrassed or shy to say them."
Normally, I would blush and become quiet at such a compliment but John had said it so genuinely and earnestly that I felt better after him having said it.
"So you had t..trouble with s..s..stammering too John? How did it s..stop?"
"I was a shy kid and had trouble talking to anyone. My parents were very supportive though and would never put pressure on me to be more social. I remember that they got me a dog for my seventh birthday and I simply loved him. I would spend hours talking to him and he became my best friend. I became more social as I took him for walks and more people approached me. After my siblings were born, I became a big brother and felt more responsible. I became confident in my interactions with others..so I guess, the stammering just went away. I still feel it come up sometimes, when I am nervous but I remind myself that being self-conscious about it will only make it worse...so I try to relax myself and try to find the best outlook on the situation. I admit that it takes work...but I never regret, and am grateful, to be able to share my thoughts with others with more ease than I could when I was a kid..."
What a big difference, I think, between John's response to my stammering to my current date's, who is sitting across from me chatting away animately.
I barely respond to him but he is satisfied by my nodding. I have spoken three words total in our conversation but he doesn't notice and continues talking. I am jolted back to the present when my blind date asks me a direct question. I was so lost in that memory of John that I hadn't realized that the conversation with my blind date had taken an alarming route. I finally realize what exactly my blind date had just asked of me.
"So...do you want to go home with me? Normally, I would never ask this from a first date as that would be very improper....but I feel a connection with you that I feel that I must explore further! I can't let you go without knowing you more closely. You are just so mysterious Cassandra! I feel such a connection with you that I hadn't felt with anyone before!"
'Oh my God! What do I do now? What do I say?!', I think to myself.
I start to panic and in doing so, I spill my drink on my dress. Seizing on my accident as an divinely given opportunity to get away from the conversation, I excuse myself to the ladies room to get cleaned up and once in the washroom, I send out an emergency SOS text to Ellie.
'Help me Ellie!!' I text to Ellie and like the darling angel that she is, she immediately texts back that she was on her way.
I wait a while longer however I can't stay much longer in the washroom without my date getting suspicious so I return very slowly back to our table.
He seems glad to see me back and this time he proceeds boldly by holding my hands. I am about to pass out in my anxiety but then I hear a commotion in the restaurant. People are talking loudly, suddenly more animated and there is an excitement in the air as a big Hollywood star has arrived in the very same restaurant.
"It's Eleanor James!", the restaurant patrons whisper excitedly.
'Oh thank God for Ellie!', I think. Even my blind date is distracted by the noise and he excuses himself and asks me
to come with him to see what the excitement is about. He informs me that he is a fan of Ellie and that he would like to get her autograph. As we reach her table, I see him ruffling his hair and setting his tie straight.
"Excuse me Ms. Eleanor James? I am your biggest fan... What an honor to meet you! I have to say that I have never met a girl as pretty as you!! You are such a bold actor, so very confident, just like me..."
I had to stop myself from laughing at his false gallantry. My blind date had said to Ellie what he had minutes earlier already professed to me.
I had been feeling bad about leaving him during our date but now I saw his distraction to Ellie as the chance to head for home unimpeded. He barely listens to me when I say that I had to leave early and say goodbye. He continues to talk to Ellie while I head out the restaurant and grab a taxi.
Later, Ellie would tell me that my blind date had invited her to his apartment as well, saying that he never said that to anyone before at a first meeting. Ellie had called security at that point and my blind date had been escorted out the restaurant by the two burly bodyguards. He did text me a few times the following day saying that he was sorry that our date had been cut so short and that he wanted to get to know me better by having another date. I had politely declined another meeting and had thanked Ellie a million times for coming to my quick rescue.
Chapter Twenty-Five: Opposites in Nature
Ellie remains my emergency rescue for bad dates but soon she too becomes swamped by several new acting projects.
As the time between Ellie's visits get longer due to her hectic schedule and I have trouble falling in love with anyone, I decide that I needed some furry companionship. I tell Ellie of my decision to get a puppy. I should have kept my ears away from the phone as I knew she would squeal...and she does loudly.
As my ears recover, she asks: "Cassie, can we pick the puppy together?"
"Of course we will!", My comment sets off another burst of happy noise from Ellie.
The next time she drops by, we go together to the animal shelter to find the perfect furry match. While we are looking at the many wonderful dogs, the puppy saw her before she did.
It was love at first sight! He barks happily to draw our attention and furiously began to wag his golden tail.
"Oh how adorable! Look at how happy he is to see us...Cassie we should get this cutie!"
"He is pretty cute. Ok...I will go sign the papers. What should we name him?"
"We should name him Buddy," says Ellie.
"Buddy? Just Buddy...Why Buddy?"
"Isn't that why you are getting him?"
"So...it should be Buddy?" I look at the dog as if to ask him what his thoughts were on the name being chosen for him. He simply blinks his brown eyes in response.
It must have been the matching golden hairs but I swear "Buddy" loves Ellie more than me. For a moment, my green eyes get greener with envy but then I think that any dog who adores Ellie can't be bad. After this quick assessment, he easily passes my unscientific dog personality and compatibility test.
Buddy, the three-month old golden retriever, joined Casa Cassie with the blessing of his favourite person Ellie.
∞∞∞
I should have known that my dog would turn out to be my polar opposite. He likes walks. He likes early mornings. He likes walks on early mornings, both together! Let me tell you that I am definitely not a morning person....and I am a total couch potato.
I complain about my dilemma to Ellie who is not listening to a word I said.
"But Ellie...my university class doesn't start til ten but he wakes up at 6am and starts barking at me! He wants to go outside even when it is freezing!"
"Buddy is adorable!"
"Didn't you listen to a word I said? He turns into a agressive little furball if I don't take him on his walks!"
"You need the exercise Cassie, being sedentary is not good for your health."
I forgot that I was talking to Ellie, the fitness fiend. She would extoll me the virtues of fitness. She would throw me words like HIIT, Crossfit, Crunches, Pliometrics, Cardio, Planks, Burpees and God-knows-what other forms of physical torture and pain disguised as exercises. I give up explaining my plight to Ellie and dutifully set my alarm for my early mornings.
I do try to wake up.
I miss the alarm again and I hear Buddy barking angrily at my deception and broken promise.
I groan... but I find it odd that he barks only for five more minutes. Curious, I peek out of my blanket to see both Buddy and Ellie by my bedside, looking at me.
Ellie came to my rescue! She is geared up for jogging in her cool workout clothes and blond ponytail in a cap, ready to go. She must have arrived early and opened my apartment door with the spare key.
No wonder Buddy had gone quiet! I had been spared his tiny wrath!
I leave the two morning people and puppy to enjoy their walks, while I remain snuggled and warm in my bed.
Ellie would help me out a couple of times whenever she was in the city and Buddy would wait for her faithfully by the front door rather than to start barking at me early in the morning. It is more than enough for me and I am grateful as I at least get a few days where I can sleep in!
Thank the lord for sweet, merciful Ellie!
∞∞∞
Despite our different preferences when it comes to exercise, I think that Buddy is a great listener.
Ellie's eyes would start to glaze over sometimes but Buddy would never get tired of listening. No matter what I talk about, he is always responsive. My newest interest is financial blogs. Investments or money wasn't something that my parents talked about nor was it taught in high school. I have always been, as they say, financially prudent whereas Ellie is more carefree about her expenses. Now that I have to work within a budget, I discovered the FIRE community online and it is all I can talk about.
"Ellie, did you know that FIRE stands for Financial Independence, Retire Early?"
"That is interesting..."
"Yes, we should go over our budget together and see where we can save more for retirement!"
"It is too early to think about retirement and besides, my budget is making more money and then spending it."
"Hmmm... did you know what the book The Richest Man in Babylon would say about that: A man's wealth is not in the purse he carries. A fat purse quickly empties if there be no golden stream to refill it."
"Fat purse empty...got it...I will try to remember that..."
"Did you know that lottery winners lose most of their money within a few years because they don't know how to manage it properly?"
"If I win the lottery, I will get myself a financial manager."
"But Ellie, you should learn about managing money yourself. It is an important life skill!"
"Cassie, I just remember about something urgent. I will see you later. Bye!"
I pout when I see Ellie disappear. She often remembers about something 'urgent' when I start to talk about budgets.
Sigh.
When I have the same conversation with Buddy, on the other hand, he never gets tired of it and he gives the perfect responses.
"Buddy can you believe the MER ratio on some of these mutual funds!"
Buddy growls angrily.
"I know right! ETFs are so much more reasonable when it come to MERs."
Buddy wags his tail in approval.
"Buddy, Roth IRA or Roth 401k, what do you think?"
Buddy tilts his head thoughtfully.
"Buddy, don't you love automatic savings and investing? It makes saving money so much easier and convenient!"
Buddy barks in excitement.
I am so glad he listens well. I feel myself swell with pride at having such a smart dog as my financial collaborator. I am so happy with his responses that I give him a much deserved hug and say, "I love you my smart little furball, you are my Financial Puppy Guru Buddy!".
Buddy licks my face happily.
Buddy and I may have our differences but at least we
are on the same wavelength when it comes to financial matters and saving for our future.
One day, I will convince Ellie as well but til that day, I will keep the financial conversations between myself and Buddy.
Chapter Twenty-Six: Fame is a Dangerous Drug
Ellie has been in a funk lately and I am worried about her. She is devastated that she lost out a role to another actress because the director thought she was too pretty for the character and despite her best efforts, he doesn't take Ellie seriously enough. What is worse is that her latest movie did poorly in ratings and she is not being called back for any other roles.
She spends countless hours on her phone obsessing about comments on social media and it is making her more and more depressed. I myself am a social media hermit, so besides texting and video calls, tend to stay away from those sites. I try my best to understand her obsession and to console her but she is starting to lose sight of herself and her love of performing. I fear that her obsession is spiralling into something darker.
"Oh my God Cassie, have you read what this fan said on twitter? He said that I was better off modeling as I don't have it in me to act."
"That is harsh and it is not true Ellie, you are very talented. Remember what our theatre teacher has said about your school play? He said that he had never seen such natural talent."
Ellie nods but doesn't seem convinced by my answer. She looks back at her phone.
"Cassie another 100 people unfollowed me and I am not getting as many likes as when I was in that superhero movie."
"You don't know these people Ellie. It doesn't matter if they don't give as many likes as before, that doesn't mean anything anyway."
Ellie is still not listening and looks dejectedly at her phone.
"Did you read what this critic said about my new movie? She says that she wants her money back and wants me to apologize for wasting two hours of her life!"
I shake my head, "Some people just delight in being a troll and being mean. Don't pay any attention to them."
