CHAPTER 21
Jeremin and Perry are in the middle of a heated discussion. Perry seems to be on the losing end. He’s ordered to stay inside The Beast until we’re ready to go. I’m surprised at how Perry reacted, he just snapped. I know it wasn’t pleasant seeing the kids acting like zombies, but we’ve seen worse, hell, we’ve done worse.
My attention turns to the kids climbing onto the school bus. I think back to when I was a kid living in Santa Verde. I remember how the buses used to come with the new arrivals. I had no idea they came from places like this. For me, when the buses arrived, it was a celebration. We’d line the streets and chant slogans and cheer them on as they drove by. It was mandatory, but we did it gladly, and without complaint. It was an experience I wouldn’t trade for anything. But now standing here, watching the kids mull around trying to find a seat, I realize I haven’t experienced everything a Youth Nationer should experience. I never rode the bus.
“Snap out of it.” I hear Jeremin tell me as he walks up behind me.
“I didn’t know it was like this, Commander,” I mumble.
“No one does. But don’t get too worked up about it, those kids will be fine. They’ll forget all about it, all Youth Nationers do… eventually. It’ll be pushed down, suppressed, forgotten and washed away. They’ll end up cheering for the bus, not realizing they were ever on it.”
“But you remember,” I say, looking straight into Jeremin’s eyes. “You remember riding the bus, don’t you?”
“Everyone in Santa Verde forgets,” Jermein says. “But not us. Not us in the Patrol. We get to see all this shit over and over. We’re continually reminded of what we went through to get to Santa Verde, we’re forced to live it out again and again.”
“I see,” I say, looking over at the kids continuing to climb up the steps. “So who’s driving the bus, Commander?”
“Why do you ask?”
“The Bus Drivers aren’t part of Youth Nation, they’re not allowed to enter Santa Verde, are they?
“Nope, they’re not allowed.”
“So that means, one of us has to drive the bus.
Jeremin nods. “Something like that.”
“Is that what Dagger didn’t want to do? Was he supposed to drive the bus?”
“Kind of. The bus will be on autopilot. Dagger’s job is to sit and watch the kids, make sure they don’t kill each other or themselves. Sometimes their tweak wears off in the middle of the trip and they go nuts.”
“Dirk wants me on the bus, doesn’t he? That’s what he was talking about, right?”
Jeremin nods again. “But I’m not going to allow it.”
“You know what, sir?” I say sincerely. “I think Dirk’s right. I should ride the bus. I never rode it before. I’m the only Youth Nationer that never has. Don’t you think I should? I should know what it’s like.”
“I don’t know, Evan,” Jeremin says, looking at me sideways. “I don’t know. I’ve seen a lot of Youth Patrollers get all weird after riding the bus.”
“But it’s my turn, sir. I’ve got to ride it.”
Jeremin takes a deep breath. He knows I need to do it. He then smirks in his usual way. “Okay, okay, choirboy, ride the bus.”
“Thank you, Commander.”
“Don’t thank me just yet, just make sure the kids don’t die. ”
“I won’t.”
“I’m having Luna and Dirk go with you.”
“Do they have to?”
“They have to.”
Jeremin leaves me, so I head over to the bus. But as I start to climb up the steps, Dirk and Luna come up from behind and shove me aside. “Get out of my way!” Luna cries out as she hurries down the aisle. “I can’t believe I have to do this shit, it’s not even my fuckin’ turn.”
Dirk takes a seat behind the control panel, and turns his back to the passengers. I stand at attention, keeping a close eye on the kids. The door shuts and we begin to move. We join up with the rest of the military convoy as we drive away from the silos.
“Yo choirboy,” Dirk calls out to me. “We’re a long way from Santa Verde dude; you might as well chill. Those kids aren’t going anywhere; trust me. Just sit down and try not to kill yourself until we get home, okay.”
I take off my helmet and sit down next to him. I swivel the chair around to look at the kids. I see the Arab boy who bled all over me; he’s completely dazed. I spot Janice, the little girl from the concert. She peers over the seat, her eyes are wide, scared, looking for solace. I can’t give it to her, so I look away. That’s when I see Perry’s cousin, Bobby, sitting there quietly, heavily sedated. His head bobs back and forth as he tries to stay awake. It finally falls backwards against the headrest. His eyes slowly open and lock onto mine. His expression changes, he looks confused. He probably recognizes me and wonders why Evan Sparks is on the bus. I’m beginning to wonder why too.
PART 3
SANTA VERDE
CHAPTER 22
Normally, I’d feel pretty excited about coming home to Santa Verde. I’d be all happy to see my apartment again and sleep in my own bed, but knowing what I’ve seen today makes everything different. I understand now what it’s like to ride the School Shuttle Bus to Santa Verde. I never really thought about it before. Why would I? My arrival to Santa Verde was much different. Willenger himself brought me in. You see, when I was a boy my parents strapped a bomb to me. I was supposed to blow everyone up at a Youth Nation Concert, including myself. But that night, when I heard Ashley Autumn’s message (she was the lead singer back then), something changed in me. I didn’t want to die for some stupid religion, I wanted to live; I wanted to be in Youth Nation. I told one of the Youth Patrollers at the concert that I had a bomb. I was taken away and questioned. If it weren’t for Ashley and the Youth Music Singers, I would have murdered everyone. After that night, I became a celebrity. I was the most famous Youth Nationer to ever live. Youth Nation was everything to me back then, but now… But now, I see it all differently, I see it from inside the bus.
An hour goes by and we’re still driving. I’ve been looking at these same pathetic faces ever since we left the conditioning center. I thought Dirk and I were supposed to switch off every now and then, but that’s not happening. He acts like he’s driving the bus, but I know its on autopilot, I’m not stupid. Luna was smart going to the back of the bus; she doesn’t have to look into the eyes of these kids like I do. What is wrong with us? We’re Youth Patrol, we should be able to handle this, at least I should. I didn’t experience the conditioning center, I wasn’t subjected to the bus ride; I don’t have any psychological scars. So why am I feeling this way? Do I feel sorry for these kids? Is that it? They’re going to be fine, they’re going to be Youth Nationers, there’s nothing better than that… is there? Are we doing the right thing? Could Youth Nation be wrong? No way, Youth Nation and Willenger could never be wrong.
It’s now evening, we arrive at the great city of Santa Verde, the city built specifically for Youth Nation. We drive through its streets; the people cheer us on just like they’ve done so many times before. We pull up to the town-square; it’s jam-packed with Youth Nationers, eager to welcome the new batch.
The bus doors slide open and we hear the roar of the crowd, filling the bus with cheers and applause. Luna starts forcing the kids to get up. She yanks them out of their seats and pushes them forward.
“Everyone out!” she shouts impatiently. “Get the fuck out!”
As each child steps foot onto the Town Square of Santa Verde, the cheers intensify. The new arrivals look confused and scared.
The people call out to them, “Our new heroes! Welcome to Santa Verde!”
Others chant, “Youth (clap clap) Na-tion (clap clap) Youth (clap clap) Na-tion (clap clap)”.
Perry’s cousin, Bobby, the last one in line, is about to step down, but before he does, he looks at me. He’s frightened.
“They’re coming for me,” he says fearfully. “They’re coming to get me.”
; “Who?”
“Them, the Resistance.”
“They can’t get to you. You’re safe. No one from the outside can get into Santa Verde.”
“They’re already here.”
He steps down off the bus to the adoring crowd. He looks back at me for a second; his face is twisted and terrified. He’s quickly whisked away by the YP’s on Guard Duty. He’s taken, along with the other new recruits, to the Welcome Center. A small hologram billboard floats above them. It broadcasts a speech from Willenger.
“The rein of your parents’ tyranny is over. Have no fear my friends, take heart; you are now part of Youth Nation. You’re safe here; you’re safe in your new home. Welcome! Welcome, to Santa Verde.”
“Did you hear what that kid just said to me?” I ask Luna, who’s still standing on the bus with me.
“No, not really.”
“He said the Resistance is here.”
“New recruits say shit like that all the time.” She hops down from bus. “And besides,” she adds. “I don’t give a fuck. We’re officially off duty! Let’s go party.” She throws her helmet up in the air and literally dances away.
I step down from the bus and onto the pavement of Santa Verde, the city I love. I give my rifle and helmet back to the Equipment Manager, but I’m told to hold on to my uniform. We might be off duty, but we’re always on call.
The city is in full-blown celebration mode. The restaurants, the clubs; the streets are all filled with people dancing, partying, having sex, but not me. I don’t feel like it. Even with the lights of the city and the colorful patterns of the hologram billboards floating above, none of that can break the mood I’m in. I should find Perry so he can tweak me, but who knows where he is after that little incident today. And to be honest, I’d rather not have anyone mess with my L-Chip right now. I want to feel this way.
Then, I see Jeremin standing on a street corner, looking at me. I’m wondering if I did something wrong.
“How are you feeling?” he asks me.
“I’m good, I’m good,” I reply like nothing is bothering me.
“Do you feel like jumping out of a window?”
“Why would you say that?” I answer angrily.
“Because one out of five Youth Patrollers take their life in the first year.”
“Yeah I know, you told me that before.”
“Well, are you?”
“Am I what?”
“Going to jump out a window?”
I ignore him, acting like it’s an absurd question and attempt to walk past him.
“Come and hang out with us tonight,” he says unexpectedly. “You need it.”
I stop and contemplate if I should go with him, but I decide against it.
“Sparks, get back here!” he orders. “You don’t know what you’re dealing with right now.”
I turn to face him, I want to say something, but I dare not to. I don’t want to get into any trouble. He can sense my apprehension.
“It’s okay, Evan,” he says. “We’re still on L-Chip lockdown, at least for a few more minutes. Tell me what’s on your mind.”
I look side to side just to make sure no one is listening to us. I then face him again. “Are we doing the right thing, Jeremin?”
“In what way?” he asks.
“All those kids on the bus, are they going to be okay?”
He looks at me with the same look he gave Dagger, when Dagger refused to go on the school bus. “Do you want those kids to grow up to be religious fanatics?”
“Of course not,” I tell him.
“Then we’re doing the right thing.”
“But why the conditioning center, Commander? Why do we have to take them there?
“Because we have to brainwash them.”
“Brainwash? We don’t brainwash.”
“Are you sure about that?” he smirks. “They sure look like they’re brainwashed to me.”
“Well if they’re brainwashed, that means everyone here has been brainwashed.”
“You’re absolutely right. They have.”
“Have you been brainwashed, Jeremin?”
“Of course I have, and so have you.”
“I didn’t go to the conditioning center.”
“Maybe not, but all those concerts, all those songs you sang? Are you telling me, that didn’t effect you? C’mon Sparks, you’re just like everyone else around here. You’re just a product of some good old fashioned brainwashing.”
“No I’m not! I believe in Youth Nation. I want to be a part of it!”
“That’s good, so do I, but the other Youth Nationers around here never have to ask questions like you did. They never have to wonder if they’re doing the right thing. They just go on with their lives, never having to confront the validity of Youth Nation. But with us Youth Patrollers, we have to make that choice every time we go out on Patrol. We know what goes on out there, behind the scenes. So the question you have to ask yourself, Evan, is Youth Nation worth it? Is it worth dying for? Is the world better, or worse because of Youth Nation? Even with all the brutality we inflict, are we on the right side of history, or is there something better out there we just don’t know about?”
“What do you think, Jeremin? Is there something better out there?”
“I don’t give a fuck,” he responds bluntly.” We’re winning, and that’s what counts.”
“You were right, Commander,” I say solemnly “I didn’t know what it took to be a Youth Patroller.”
He puts his hand my shoulder. “Come with us, Evan?”
“Not tonight Jeremin, I need to be alone.”
“Then stay off your balcony, choirboy.” He let’s me pass. My head is spinning. If I’m going to be a Youth Patroller, if I’m going to survive, I’ve got to be like him.
I head back to my apartment. It’s over in the southern section of the city. My building is a typical building for Santa Verde. It’s purple and green with slanted edges that protrude outward, seemingly defying the laws of physics. The building next to it is royal blue with orange trim. Water cascades down its walls. And the one next to that is smooth with no edges at all. It seems that all the buildings of Santa Verde try to be so different from one another that they all end up looking alike. I don’t think I’m making any sense. I need to sleep.
I open my door and walk in. Normally, I find solace in my home, but not tonight. The lights automatically turn on which I immediately override. I’d rather be in the dark, but unfortunately, because of the celebration, the lights of the city are so bright that they sneak in through the blinds on my windows.
I walk into the kitchen; open the refrigerator to grab a beer. Of course I don’t have one. I didn’t know beer still existed until I joined the Patrol. Maybe I’ll ask Jeremin for one and sneak it up here. I walk over to my bedroom and take off my uniform; I leave it on the floor. I put on some shorts and flop on the bed and stare at the ceiling. I try mind-texting Val, but I can’t get through. I don’t know if I’m still on lockdown or what. My mind wanders; I picture Val with her arms around me, kissing me; loving me. I fall asleep. Then images of the kids from the school bus invade my dream. I awake from the nightmare and quickly get up. I walk out onto the balcony and look down. I should go get a girl. That would clear my mind.
‘One out of five Youth Patrollers take their life.’
Shit, where did that come from? Then, there’s a knock at my door.
CHAPTER 23
The knocking continues. I open it and lo and behold, it’s Valerie Star.
“Oh my God, Val!”
She stands there looking at me; her expression is a cross between sad and mad. “Do you want to see me?” she asks.
“Of course I do! Come in!”
But she doesn’t; she refuses to move. “Why didn’t you want to say good-bye, Evan? I waited, but you never came back to the shuttle.”
“I wanted to, but Willenger wouldn’t let me.”
“He wouldn’t?
“No.”
/> “That prick!” she cries out. “He told me you didn’t want to say good-bye.”
“That’s not true, Val. That’s not true at all. The Senator said I needed to let you go so you could move on. Have you moved on?”
She leaps into my arms. I would take that as a ‘no’. I motion for the lights to turn on.
“What are you doing here?” I ask. “Shouldn’t you still be on tour?”
“The tour was called off. Willenger postponed it.”
“What? Why?”
She doesn’t answer. She just looks at me and smiles. “I tried mind-texting you,” she says, changing the subject.
“I did too, but my L-Chip was blocked. It’s a Youth Patrol thing.”
“I figured.”
“I love you, Val,” I say out of the blue. It catches her off guard; it catches me off guard. She blushes. I take her by the hand and lead her to the bedroom. She takes off her green jacket revealing a light green dress softly draping over her body. She takes that off too. We leap into the bed. After sex she settles her head onto my bare chest. Her blond hair drapes across my body.
“I didn’t sleep with anyone,” she whispers. “Not a one,” she giggles. “Everyone got so pissed at me.”
“I can imagine. What’d the Senator do?”
“He went ape shit, what do you think? He told me I wasn’t being a good Youth Nationer or some bullshit thing like that. He’s such a dick.”
“Baby,” I say kind of laughing. “I know you’re all mad at him, but you really shouldn’t call him names. He could be listening in.”
“He’s not; trust me.”
“Well, you still shouldn’t.”
“Yeah whatever,” she says indifferently. “You wanna know the real reason Willenger called off the tour?”
“Was it because of something you did?”
“No, it was because of something I didn’t do. I wouldn’t fuck the Senator. I didn’t want to. Now, I have to undergo some psychological testing.” She rolls over on her side of the bed; she’s angry. But then… she starts to giggle again.
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