As they stood, her with her helmet tucked beneath her arm and May with her arms crossed, looking skyward, she admired the way the Halifax hurtled down the runway then lifted high into the sky. It was a big beast to get off the ground, but surprisingly elegant to fly once it was airborne, and she itched to be back behind the controls again, learning to anticipate the power and speed of her new favourite plane.
‘She’s not better than you,’ May said, breaking the silence. ‘You do know that I’m serious, don’t you?’
Ruby smiled. ‘I appreciate your confidence in me, Commander.’
May’s words were easy to hear, but actually believing them was something else. Every day, no matter how well she’d done the day before, nerves wracked her, sometimes leaving her bent over the toilet, silently vomiting as she battled with whether or not she was good enough. Working alongside Lizzie was a daily, if not hourly, struggle for her. And Tom’s letters weren’t exactly helping, reminding her that she’d always had him as her co-pilot whenever she’d tried something new or different. You need me up there with you. You’ve never had to make decisions on your own if conditions change or if something doesn’t go to plan. What if you see a Luftwaffe plane or your engine stalls?
‘Do you want to be the first to officially fly a four-engine bomber for the ATA?’ May asked, turning to face her. ‘Do you actually want it, Ruby, or are you just going through the motions?’
‘You know I want it,’ Ruby said. ‘It would be . . .’
‘Then start acting like it,’ said May abruptly, looking irritated, her tone sharp. ‘It’s time you started believing in yourself, otherwise everyone supporting you will start to question whether you deserve your place here or not.’
‘Yes, ma’am,’ Ruby quickly replied.
Had it been so obvious that her confidence had been leaking out of her each day? She swallowed. May was right; she did need to start believing in herself more, without her superior constantly bolstering her. She’d been hand-picked for the conversion programme, and she needed to act like she wanted to win if she was going to stay in the race. Ruby kept her thoughts to herself and her eyes on the sky, hoping she wouldn’t give May reason to be so short with her again.
Lizzie flew the course perfectly as always, and Ruby watched as she touched down, bringing the big, heavy bird in like it was the easiest thing in the world. If only she could watch herself from where May was standing, maybe she’d be able to see that she did it just as well as her American colleague.
‘Have you heard from Tom since you transferred here?’ May asked, surprising her.
‘Yes, actually,’ Ruby replied. ‘I received a lovely letter from him a few days ago.’
May caught her eye. ‘Saying?’
‘Something along the lines of how terribly I’d affected his mother’s health, that she was furious with me, and he was worried how we’d all get along once the war was over if I didn’t end my flying pursuits and hurry back home.’ She didn’t tell May that he’d also suggested it was ridiculous for her to think herself capable of flying a huge bomber, when half the highly trained male pilots he knew weren’t cleared to fly them.
May grimaced. ‘So he’s still being as supportive as ever?’
‘When the war is over, my darling, I’ll encourage you to fly and soar the skies beside me, but you’re interfering with the natural division between the sexes. Men are supposed to be away at war and the women at home waiting for them, not flying along with us,’ Ruby quoted, hating that she was struggling not to cry. ‘Honestly, sometimes I wonder how I ever fell in love with the man.’
‘The best thing you can do is prove him wrong,’ May said. ‘Prove everyone wrong, his mother included, and one day they’ll be able to see the woods for the trees.’
‘I just wish he could see me fly,’ Ruby said, sighing as she thought about Tom and the flights they’d had together before the war, about how encouraging he’d been of her abilities back then. ‘Honestly, I think if he saw me in the air, if he saw the work we’re doing here each day, I think he’d understand. But his mother has her claws in deep, and there doesn’t seem to be anything I can say.’
‘She asked him to call the engagement off, didn’t she?’
Ruby felt her cheeks burning. ‘Yes.’
‘But he hasn’t, has he?’ observed May. ‘So maybe she doesn’t have quite as much influence over him as you think. Maybe he’s just saying what he thinks he has to say. He’ll come around, and if he doesn’t, he wasn’t good enough for you in the first place.’
‘Perhaps.’
Maybe May was right; maybe there was still a chance of making him understand. Ruby certainly didn’t want him to end their engagement, but if he threatened it directly? She grimaced.
‘You’re not still thinking about last week, are you?’ May asked, with a quick sideways look. ‘Because as far as I’m concerned, it never happened.’
Ruby gulped. ‘No, ma’am,’ she said, shutting her eyes in embarrassment at the memory of her first time piloting the ginormous Halifax. Lizzie had managed to get into her head; she’d lost all her confidence and buckled under the pressure.
Don’t let her rattle you, don’t let her rattle you, Ruby chanted in her head, gripping the controls as she rocketed down the runway and took off.
But Lizzie had rattled her. Just as Tom had rattled her, his words playing through her head on autopilot, impossible to shut off. ‘You need me, Ruby. You’ve never flown like this before, and I’m just not sure you have what it takes to fly without me as your co-pilot.’
She glanced sideways at the empty seat, wondering if he was right, wondering if she was capable without him sitting beside her, telling her what to do, coaching her if things went wrong. Lizzie didn’t need anyone. Lizzie hit every mark without breaking a sweat.
Hell! She yanked the controls, pulling the aircraft higher, forcing it up as she narrowly missed another plane coming in; she was flying too low, and wasn’t scanning the sky as she’d been taught to do.
After landing, having barely completed the course she’d been asked to fly, she had to walk across the tarmac on shaking legs to face May. Her commander’s cheeks were as red as she imagined hers to be, but from anger, not embarrassment.
‘Don’t you ever make a rookie mistake like that again, Ruby. You could have had a mid-air crash and killed yourself and the other pilot!’
‘I’m sorry,’ she managed.
‘You get yourself sorted in here,’ May said, tapping her head, ‘or go home.’
She’d vowed then and there not to let Lizzie or Tom get in her head again, but it was proving easier said than done, especially when Lizzie hadn’t put a foot wrong. Not once.
‘Hello, ladies,’ Lizzie called out, bowing dramatically on the runway in front of them as if to rub Ruby’s nose in how incredible she was. ‘Textbook perfect?’ she asked, looking at May.
Ruby struggled not to roll her eyes.
‘It was a perfect flight,’ May agreed. ‘It’s a shame our newest American arrival wasn’t here to watch you, though.’
‘An American? Who?’ Lizzie demanded. ‘I have full control over every American pilot who joins us here!’
Ruby laughed at the look on Lizzie’s face. It was the first time she’d ever seen her rattled and it was impossible not to be amused.
‘I thought you might have received word, but no matter.’
Lizzie scowled. ‘I don’t like surprises, so whoever authorised this will have me to answer to. I don’t appreciate being blindsided.’ She almost seemed to have steam coming out of her ears. ‘Who is she?’
‘It’s a he, not a she, and his name is Captain Montgomery. He’s one of your country’s top pilots, apparently, but he was injured recently and spent time recuperating nearby. Unfortunately he’s still recovering, so he hasn’t been able to return to active duty yet,’ May said, and Ruby could have sworn she was enjoying herself. ‘But he’s been sent to assist us on the ground with operations and keep an eye on his fe
llow American pilots, from what I understand.’
‘Brilliant,’ Lizzie fumed. ‘So I’m to play second fiddle to some cripple just because he’s an American?’
‘Who exactly are you calling a cripple?’ boomed a deep male voice from behind them.
Ruby turned, eyes wide as her gaze fell on an American soldier in full dress uniform, his right arm in a sling. His blond hair was cropped short, his face tanned and his eyes as blue as the sky on a cloudless day. He nodded at both her and May, then fixed his regard on Lizzie and positively glowered at her. Lizzie’s nostrils flared, her eyes narrowing as she stared confidently back. Ruby couldn’t have been more transfixed if she’d been at the opera.
Lizzie seemed dumbfounded for a moment. ‘Well, I see you’re still rather capable after all. My mistake,’ she finally said, and stepped forward. ‘Elizabeth Dunlop. Pleased to meet you.’
‘Captain Jackson Montgomery,’ he said, clasping her hand.
‘And you’re here because?’ Lizzie asked.
Ruby traded glances with May, trying to hide her smile. This was exactly the little pick-me-up she needed.
‘To keep an eye on you, I suppose,’ he said. ‘I’ve been told you might need to be brought down a peg or two – is that what you British say?’
‘Yes,’ Ruby said. ‘I think you’ve got a very good grip on the local terminology and the pilot in question, actually.’
Lizzie glared at her, but for once Ruby didn’t back down. She already liked this Montgomery fellow.
‘Well, I don’t know what on earth you think you’ll do here with one arm. You’ll be as useless as a bull with teats, I suspect, but stay out of my way and I’ll stay out of yours.’ And with that, Lizzie stomped off.
Ruby stepped forward. ‘It’s a pleasure to meet you,’ she said, extending a hand. ‘I’m First Officer Ruby Sanders.’
‘The pleasure is all mine,’ he said politely, his blue eyes warm now that Lizzie had gone. ‘Tell me, is she always like that?’
It was clear from his brief nod to May that they’d already met, and Ruby wondered if May had been waiting all morning to land this bombshell on Lizzie.
‘Yes, unfortunately,’ Ruby told him. ‘But she’s one of the best fliers here and she knows it, so I suppose she can behave that way.’
She caught May’s frown and turned away slightly.
‘Well, she’s certainly the most confident,’ he said. ‘It seems my fellow countrywoman could do with a lesson or two in manners. You know, I was watching both your flights just now. And she might be a show-off, but you’re a solid pilot. Good work up there.’
Ruby felt her cheeks turn a tell-tale pink.
‘I couldn’t agree more,’ May said. ‘It’s nice to hear a second vote of confidence, isn’t it, Ruby?’
She nodded. ‘Thank you, sir.’
‘I’ve seen this time and again with my men, to be honest. The ones full of bravado aren’t always the ones who become our top pilots, so don’t let her think she has one up on you. I’ve heard it’s a decision between the two of you to be the first female bomber pilot.’ He smiled. ‘If you want my advice, it’d be not to discount yourself, no matter how good you think she is. The most important thing is being the one who can be relied on by your entire squadron, no matter what.’
Ruby didn’t know what to say, and felt her blush deepen.
‘Some of us have to work hard to get anywhere in life,’ he said. ‘And others have the world at their fingertips and never have to break a sweat.’
‘Well, I think you’ve already read our American friend rather well, Captain,’ May told him. ‘You’re going to have your hands full trying to get a handle on Elizabeth. She’s more of a Spitfire than the actual plane over there.’
‘She’s a bloody pain in the arse,’ Ruby muttered, eyes widening as she realised she’d spoken out loud.
‘What was that?’ Captain Montgomery asked.
‘Nothing, sorry,’ she said. ‘It was a pleasure to meet you, sir.’
Ruby left May talking to the handsome American as she made her way back to the training centre to change. She had reading to do and a session with her flight instructor later in the day before she could return to the lovely little home that she and Lizzie had been assigned to. They were staying with a couple called the Robinsons, and for the most part she didn’t mind sharing a room with Lizzie; but when May had mentioned that they were now in direct competition to be the first female bomber pilot, that had thrown a spanner in the works. She doubted Lizzie would let her think for even a moment that she had a chance of being chosen.
‘Honestly, can you believe that man?’ Lizzie called out as Ruby entered, clearly still seething. ‘Waltzing in here and acting all superior to me?’
‘He’s only doing his job,’ Ruby said. ‘I wouldn’t be so hard on him if I were you.’ Heck, she’d have been friendly to any Englishman if she’d been on the other side of the world! But Lizzie was Lizzie, and that meant she didn’t do anything anyone expected her to. She was as infuriating as she was talented.
She tried to move past, but Lizzie stood in front of her.
‘What are your plans for our two days of leave this weekend?’ Lizzie asked.
‘Ah, I don’t have any. Catch up on some sleep and study.’ Ruby prayed that Lizzie didn’t ask her to do anything off base with her. ‘How about you?’
‘Oh, I might go and see some of the girls back at White Waltham, check in on how they’re faring,’ Lizzie said breezily. ‘I’m sure they’re giving your Brits a run for their money.’
Or maybe they’re more focused on working together for the greater good, to help win the war, instead of being in some stupid competition with their fellow pilots, Ruby thought, wishing she were brave enough to actually say it.
Lizzie disappeared, pushing the door shut with a loud bang, and Ruby sat down at one of the tables, opening a book about the large aircraft she was soon to be in charge of. But her thoughts drifted, as they so often did, to Tom. Where was he? What was he doing? Was he thinking of her or had he given up on her the moment she’d so brazenly written to him and told him that she respected his thoughts, but at the same time expected him to respect her decision? She fingered the ring hanging from a chain at her neck, remembering the day he’d given it to her, the day she’d truly fallen head over heels in love with the man. How had they gone from being partners in crime to being on opposite sides of the table?
‘Baby, come here,’ he said, gesturing to the two-seater plane.
Ruby ran over, her long hair pinned up and out of the way, trousers on to make it easier to fly. She caught Tom’s hand and twirled closer, leaning in for a kiss, her lips finding his as she sighed into his mouth. Every time, every single time they were together, she wondered how she’d ever managed to find someone who made her heart race as much as it did when she was at the controls of an aircraft.
‘I don’t want you to go,’ she said, cupping his cheeks as he stroked fingers through her hair.
‘Ruby, this war will be over before it even starts,’ he said, kissing her lips again, then pulling her close. ‘And I’m not going yet. It could be months before I have to leave.’
She held him tight, listened to the strong, steady beat of his heart.
‘Ruby, look at me,’ he said, his voice husky.
‘What is it?’
‘Fly with me?’ he asked, more tender than usual, his hand skimming her arm before gesturing for her to get in the plane.
‘Since when did you have to ask?’
He laughed and followed her up, settled in and started the engine. They taxied down the short runway, then Tom abruptly stopped the plane. She looked over at him, confused, until she saw what he was holding in his open palm.
The diamond twinkled in the light, the dainty ring seeming to stare back at her as she froze, then finally raised her eyes to meet Tom’s.
‘Ruby, will you marry me?’ he asked.
‘Yes!’ she squealed, holding out her finger as
he slipped the ring on and leaned in for a quick kiss, before letting out a whoop and firing up the plane again. They taxied fast down the runway this time, her stomach leaping as they lifted into the air. She laughed as he swooped, showing off, tipping left and then right as they soared.
In that moment, Tom had been all she’d needed: Tom and the thrill of gliding through the sky as if nothing could ever stand in the way of their happiness. She dropped her head to the table as the memory faded, shutting her eyes and fingering the ring at her neck, still hanging from the little silver chain she’d strung it from to keep Tom near. Was it all worth it? If she lost Tom, would she wish she’d stayed at home and kept on volunteering at the post office instead of running off to ferry planes? Perhaps he was right to want to protect her; perhaps he did know what was best for her.
She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to clear her mind, wishing she could stop the voice in her head and trust her instincts instead.
‘I was told I’d find you in here.’
Ruby blinked and sat up. ‘Polly!’ She stood and threw her arms around her friend. ‘What are you doing here? When did you arrive?’
‘Oh, you know, I’ve been ferrying Spitfires. But I was dropped off here on my way home to fly another plane back to base this afternoon.’
‘It’s so good to see you. Any gossip? What’s happening back at White Waltham?’
‘Nothing really, but we are taking bets on whether it’ll be you or Lizzie to be first in the air in a bomber. It’s a nice distraction from listening to the wireless and fretting about who’s late back. We’ve been told it’s turned into quite the competition!’
Ruby groaned. Of course they all knew about it; gossip spread like wildfire between the pilots. ‘It’s not going to be me. Seriously, she’s so good it’s insane. I don’t even know why we’re competing. Why isn’t it enough that one of us, a woman from our base, is going to get it? She’s turned it into some awful kind of race.’
The Spitfire Girls Page 8
