Ruby reached for the blankets and laid them down. It was amazing how they’d been parted for so long, but had picked up like it had only been weeks or months instead of well over a year. At home, when they’d flown together, they’d become friends before it had developed into something more and Tom had asked permission to take her out, and she wondered if that was why she felt so comfortable with him. And why she’d almost forgotten what a state of turmoil she’d been in for months over his lack of support. At any other time, she’d have given him the silent treatment and made him grovel for her, but this was war – there was no time to go off in a huff and make up a few days later. They had to take every minute together they could.
‘Come here,’ she said, a nervous flutter in her belly.
‘Are you all right?’ he asked.
She smiled and lowered herself down, tugging him with her. ‘I don’t want to waste time talking about training,’ she said. ‘We have one night, Tom, and I want to make the most of being right here with you.’
He ran a hand through her hair, gently stroking and then undoing her hairpins so that it fell around her shoulders. His smile was kind as he leaned closer, lips finding hers again and sending shudders through her body when his fingers skimmed down her side, settling on her hips. His mouth was warm and his touch was light, and she bravely reached out to him, feeling the curve of his muscles, loving how hard and strong he felt.
When he pulled back, his mouth leaving hers, her fingers travelled upwards to the base of his head. ‘What?’ she asked.
‘I never thought I’d be taking trousers off you,’ he joked, looking down at her flying gear, the only clothes she had with her.
Ruby burst out laughing as she yanked him forwards, pulling him down on top of her. As he rained kisses down her neck and across her collarbone, she arched up to him, wanting more, craving his touch.
‘Are you sure you don’t want to wait until our wedding night?’ he murmured.
‘I thought we might not be having a wedding night, given how stubborn you’ve been about me flying,’ she teased.
He kissed the tip of her nose. ‘I’ll apologise a hundred times over if I have to,’ he whispered, ‘but there will definitely be a wedding night.’
‘We could be shot out of the sky or crash our planes any day, Tom,’ she whispered back, not teasing now. ‘I love you and I don’t want to wait. Do you?’
His kiss was softer this time, and he propped himself up on one elbow, looking down at her. ‘I love you, Ruby. I’m so proud of you and I love you so much.’
Tears pricked her eyes, but she blinked them away as she reached for him, stroking his cheek and brushing his hair back. ‘I love you, too.’
It was bittersweet being with Tom, but she wouldn’t have traded this one night with him for anything in the world. One night, in a little cabin belonging to someone else, stranded at an aerodrome after landing a Halifax. It would go down as one of the best nights of her life.
‘Kiss me,’ Tom said, his lips so close she could feel them move as he spoke.
Ruby didn’t need to be asked twice, and she stroked her arms down his back as her lips met his again, her exhaustion long forgotten.
Knock, knock, knock.
Ruby opened her eyes and looked around, wrapping the blanket tighter around her bare shoulders as she shivered. Where was she? She turned and blinked, smiling when she saw Tom, his eyes still shut, dark lashes almost brushing his cheekbones. The night before flooded back and she buried herself deeper into the blanket, snuggling into Tom.
Knock, knock, knock.
Oh no! She leapt up and grabbed her undergarments, hastily pulling them on and reaching for her flying uniform. ‘Tom!’ she hissed, giving him a kick. ‘Wake up!’
She kicked him again and frantically pulled her trousers on, wriggling into the darn things and then reaching for her jacket. When Tom looked up, perplexed, she groaned and piled the blankets on top of him before sprinting for the door.
Knock, knock . . .
Ruby swung the door open, almost yanking the handle off.
‘Here’s your tea, sir,’ a cheery young voice sang on the wind.
She watched his cheeks turn beet red at the realisation that she wasn’t a sir.
‘Thank you,’ she said.
He stuttered and passed her the tea, looking like a rabbit caught in headlights, his hands shaking.
‘I’m sorry ma’am, I . . .’
‘Thank you for the tea,’ she said politely before swinging the door shut again.
She breathed a sigh of relief and pressed her back against the wall, taking a quick gulp of tea as Tom emerged from the nest of blankets.
‘That was close,’ she muttered.
‘Ah, I think my absence may already have been noticed,’ Tom said, looking guilty. ‘I . . .’
‘Urghhhh,’ Ruby groaned. ‘I don’t want them thinking I’m some kind of, of . . .’
‘Hussy?’ he asked, standing up and crossing the room. ‘Lady of the night?’ He chuckled, seeming to enjoy how mortified she was. ‘Raunchy pilot?’
She darted away from him, embarrassed at his nakedness. ‘Tom!’ she scolded.
‘You were practically begging me to take my clothes off last night – now you want me to put them on?’
When he dodged towards her she laughed and held up her tea to stop it from spilling, but he swiftly took it off her and took a big slurp. He was grinning as she looked on, trying not to drop her gaze and get an eyeful of his nakedness.
‘Come here,’ Tom said, catching her wrist, still holding the cup in the other hand.
Ruby’s breath started to come in fast pants, her pulse thumping as Tom slowly bent to kiss her.
‘We’re starting over,’ he murmured. ‘Good morning.’
She touched his bare chest and traced a circle where she imagined his heart to be. ‘Good morning,’ she whispered back.
‘Thomas!’ a deep voice boomed from outside. ‘Get your backside out here right now!’
Ruby froze. Oh my goodness. They’d been caught red-handed and instead of trying to sneak Tom out, she’d ended up back in his arms again.
‘Dammit,’ he cursed, leaping away from her and scrambling for his shorts. She watched him pull them on, followed by his undershirt, then open and shut the door and disappear.
She leaned against the door and tried to listen. She cringed. It wasn’t exactly hard to hear his superior’s booming voice.
‘I’m sorry sir!’ Tom apologised. ‘I won’t disobey a direct order again, sir.’
‘Put some clothes on, boy, and then report for duty immediately,’ he was told. ‘And don’t expect this to go without punishment.’
‘Yes, sir,’ Tom replied.
There was a pause and Ruby wished she could see what was happening.
‘And tell our guest that there has been a change of plan,’ the other man instructed. ‘I want her to take back a Typhoon that needs repairs and return as soon as practicable with a brand-new Halifax that we’re waiting for.’
‘Yes, sir, I will.’
Ruby jumped back as Tom opened the door again. He kicked it shut and wrapped his arms around her. She held on tight, not knowing when they’d have a moment alone together again. This time when he kissed her, it was full of love and tenderness, a goodbye kind of kiss, and tears welled in her eyes.
‘Goodbye, Ruby,’ he whispered, kissing a tear from her cheek.
‘Not goodbye,’ she said, her voice cracking as she tried to be brave. ‘Until next time.’
‘Yeah, until next time, beautiful,’ he said, stepping back and stroking down her arm until he caught her fingers. He held them up and kissed them. ‘And I’m so sorry. For everything. I acted like an idiot – some of the things I said to you, I’m just . . .’ He ducked his head lower and looked straight into her eyes. ‘I’m sorry and I love you.’
She smiled through her tears. ‘I love you, too.’
He kissed her, long and slow, one last time.
His smile faded. ‘If the cloud has cleared, I’ll be gone. This was just one hell of a coincidence, us ending up on base together.’
She watched him dress, stepping closer to hold up his jacket for him to shrug into. Suddenly she didn’t care that all the men on base knew what had happened, that he’d snuck in and spent the night with her. They’d been engaged to be married since before the war, and as soon as it was over they’d be husband and wife. Either of them could go down in a plane before then, and she didn’t want to live with regrets. He might have been an idiot these past months when she’d been wanting his support, but he’d more than made up for it now.
The door shut with a bang and she swallowed a sob as she gathered her things and dressed properly, powdering her nose and using the little mirror in her compact to apply her lipstick. Her stomach growled, but she ignored it.
She had a plane to fly, and it was time to go. There wasn’t time for tears; there was only time to do her job.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
WHITE WALTHAM AIRFIELD, BERKSHIRE,
AUGUST 1942
MAY
Over the past few years, May had experienced so many firsts she could hardly keep up with them. But waiting to meet the first lady of the United States? Her head was spinning just at the thought of it. What was she supposed to say? How was she supposed to behave like a normal person without talking too fast or . . . ? She glanced up, noting anxiously that black clouds were gathering ominously overhead. She was sitting outside around the back of her old hangar at White Waltham; in less than an hour she would be meeting Eleanor Roosevelt, holding out her hand to greet her and welcome her on base.
It had been a momentous few days. What with Ruby’s overwhelming success on her first solo bomber flight and preparing for the official visit, she’d hardly stopped to breathe.
‘No tea today?’
She looked up at Ben, standing over her, his overalls cleaner than usual and one hand tucked behind his back.
‘Did you send those home for your mother to wash?’ she asked. ‘You almost look respectable for once.’
‘Very funny. Now do you want something to ease those nerves or not?’
He revealed a small silver hip flask and held it out to her. ‘I was thinking this would be better than bringing you a cup of tea,’ he said. ‘Although any more teasing about the state of my overalls and I won’t be sharing.’
She unscrewed the top and took a tiny sip. When she coughed he laughed and sat down beside her, patting her back, then taking it from her hand.
‘Why are you so nice to me?’ she asked, studying his face, realising how much she’d hoped he’d find her. She’d invited Ben to join them on this trip, as a way of saying thank you for all his help since they’d transferred to Hamble, and she was looking forward to spending some time with him.
‘Well, you’re kind of my boss, so I have to be nice to you. I didn’t know I had a choice.’
‘Ben!’ she remonstrated. ‘Seriously, why? Why do you even bother with me?’
He stared at her, tucking the flask into a pocket before raising his other hand to her cheek. May’s heart started to race as he slowly bent forward, his lips grazing hers, brushing her mouth so gently that she wondered if she’d imagined it before pulling back.
‘That’s why,’ he said, his voice low. ‘Why else do you think I volunteered to work on my day off?’
‘I . . . I . . .’ she stuttered.
Ben leaned in again, hovering as if waiting for her to push him away, before his lips touched hers, firmer now as he kissed her. His lips were warm, his face freshly razored and so, so soft as she reached her hand up and touched her fingers to his cheek.
‘I can’t do this, Ben,’ she whispered, pressing her forehead to his as she tried to catch her breath. ‘I can’t lose anyone else.’
‘You’re not going to lose me, May.’
‘You don’t know that.’
He wrapped an arm around her and she tucked into him despite her protestations, holding him, breathing in the scent of him and wishing she could stay in his arms forever. How had her feelings for Ben snuck up on her like that? How had she not realised what had slowly been developing between them? And why was she giving in and letting him hold her instead of running away?
‘Tell me about him. Your brother,’ Ben said, his mouth moving against her hair as he spoke.
She squeezed her eyes shut tight and slowly let the words escape her lips. ‘Johnny was a pilot,’ she told him. ‘I loved him so much. He was my best friend as well as my brother, and then he left to fly for the air force.’
She cried then, the tears raining down her cheeks as she buried her face in Ben’s chest, sobbing as she finally let herself remember Johnny. She could see his smile, the glint in his eye when he thought he was going to beat her at something, the stupid way he’d danced with her around the kitchen when he’d told her she needed lessons if she ever wanted to meet a husband. And she saw him in her dreams, distracted, not concentrating because he was thinking about the way he’d left things between them, the things she’d said. She turned to Ben and, in a few stuttering words, described what had happened on that awful day when he left home.
‘I’ve always wondered if I’m somehow responsible, if I upset him so much that he wasn’t concentrating,’ she whispered. ‘Maybe I put him off somehow?’
Ben shook his head and held her closer. ‘Those are dark thoughts, May. You can’t blame yourself, because no matter what happened between the two of you, his death does not rest on your shoulders.’
She nodded as tears started to fall again. The truth was, her fear that she’d been responsible for Johnny’s death was worse than the constant, gnawing realisation that their country was only ever a battle away from being overrun by Germans.
Ben held her, his palm warm on her back as he rubbed in big circles, just like her mother had done when she was a child.
‘I’m sorry,’ she gasped, sitting up and pushing away from him, embarrassed. ‘I shouldn’t have let go like that.’
‘You’ve been needing to do that for a long time, May,’ Ben said, stroking her hair from her face and pushing it back. ‘You should know you don’t have to hide from me. And I’m not going anywhere.’
She blinked away the last of her tears and brushed under her eyes with her fingertips, knowing what a mess she must look. ‘Thank you,’ she whispered.
Ben laughed and looked down, gesturing at his overalls. ‘I didn’t even get an hour with these bloody things clean!’
May laughed at the make-up smudges all over his front, then stood, holding on to him to draw one last burst of strength.
‘I need to go and get cleaned up,’ she said.
‘Even tear-stained, you’re beautiful,’ he said. ‘And there’s nothing wrong with having a good cry over your brother.’
‘I don’t want anyone to see my weakness,’ she admitted. ‘I’m their leader. I’ve held myself together for so long, and they can’t see me fall to pieces, can they? I just live in fear every single day of losing one of them. I want this war over with, so we can stop losing good people for nothing.’
‘It’s normal to be scared. And you can always confide in me,’ Ben said, stepping in and cupping her face in his hands, pressing one more warm, slow kiss to her lips. ‘You don’t need to be brave for me, May Jones.’
May smiled up at him. She should have been terrified of the way she was feeling, of how vulnerable she’d been opening up to him like that; but for the first time since she’d started with the ATA, she actually felt like herself. And instead of being afraid, she liked it.
An hour later, May stood with her other pilots waiting for their guest. And trying not to think about what had happened between her and Benjamin.
Darn you, she cursed as she looked up. Can’t you at least give us a cloudless
day once in a while? The cloud cover was her biggest enemy, but she’d hoped they could at least tour White Waltham with Mrs Roosevelt without the heavens opening and pelting them with rain. The chance of that was no longer looking likely.
‘She’s coming,’ Lizzie said, standing beside her. ‘The cars are on their way.’
May smiled through her nerves. ‘How are you doing?’ she asked, knowing how badly Lizzie had taken the news about her father. ‘Have you heard anything else?’
Lizzie bit her lip. ‘He’s stable, and they’re hoping to have him home by the end of the week.’
May wondered how she could have slowly become almost fond of someone so difficult. She was certain Lizzie had caused her at least a handful of grey hairs over the months they’d spent together.
‘If he’s half as strong as you, he’ll be fine,’ May said. ‘I’m so pleased you’re here for the visit.’ She realised now how much she was going to miss Lizzie when she was gone.
‘Me too. I’m pleased I’m still here,’ Lizzie said. Was her accent no longer as pronounced, May wondered, or was it just that she’d got used to it? ‘You want to know something ridiculous?’
May raised an eyebrow. ‘Do I want to hear what you’re going to say?’
Lizzie grinned. ‘I actually thought about staying, and not going back at all. I actually wondered if I’m more help here – if I’m better being on the front line and ferrying planes for the ATA.’
‘But you changed your mind?’ May almost hoped she would stay, after everything. Lizzie was finally starting to show them a nicer side.
‘I miss my family so much,’ Lizzie admitted, and May saw that the arrogant smile and the sharply raised eyebrow had gone. This Lizzie seemed more open, more emotional. ‘If my daddy dies while I’m on the other side of the world, I’ll never forgive myself. And I can see that, after being here, I can share that knowledge with our women pilots back home.’
May took her hand and squeezed it tight. ‘I’d have given the world to see my brother again, just one last time, if I’d had the chance. So you get yourself back home as quickly as you can.’
The Spitfire Girls Page 17
