by Aileen Erin
“You’re in the air then? When do you—”
“No.”
“What do you mean?” The voice deepened to a low rumble before he switched to Aunare. I gasped as Declan did, too.
I’d only heard it in old videos, but it was a beautiful language. Full of lovely hushing sibilant sounds that soothed my soul. I didn’t understand the words, but they felt familiar.
Mom said my first language was a mix of Aunare and English. They decided before I was born that she would speak to me in English and my father would speak to me in Aunare. But once Liberation Week happened, it was too dangerous to say even a single Aunare word. Ever. The brain wipe the doctor had done got rid of every Aunare word I knew.
Now the language seemed familiar but forgotten. Like if I could just clear away the fog, then I could understand what they were saying, but as it was, I didn’t understand a single word.
“Is that my dad?” I asked. The voice sounded familiar, but I didn’t know how. Maybe it was the memory wipe.
Declan and the other man stopped talking.
“Amihanna.” That one word felt like a caress that slithered its way into my heart and grasped it. The timbre of it surrounded me, and all of a sudden, I was filled with heat and drowning in want.
My throat was dry as I blinked my eyes, trying to figure out why the light was suddenly so bright, but then I realized it was me. One word to me from the Aunare man and I was wrecked.
If I’d thought my skin was glowing before, I was wrong. Now it was so bright I could’ve lit up the entire city.
This was so messed up.
Chapter Six
The room was silent, and I knew I wasn’t the only one holding my breath. I’d never seen my skin glow so impossibly bright before. There weren’t any tattoos on it like the ones I’d seen in pictures of the Aunare, but the glow was just as bright. I didn’t even know this was possible.
I dropped my chin to my chest as I realized that there might be nothing I could do to make my skin stop glowing. This was it. I was going to have to move into the warehouse. Become a hermit. Because I wasn’t going to be able to leave until the glow was gone, and I was having zero luck stopping it before the Aunare man did whatever he did to turn it on full-force.
“Whatever you just did, stop it,” Declan said.
Me? “I didn’t do anything.” I was trying to stop it, not make it worse.
“I know.” Declan blew out a long breath. “Lorne did something.”
Lorne? That was the guy who was looking for me. If I wasn’t so exhausted, I would’ve tried to find out more about him, but right now, all I cared about was making the glow stop.
“I didn’t do anything, Declan,” Lorne said. “I literally spoke her name, and that made her skin glow more?”
“This can’t be happening.” My voice sounded whiny, even to me. “I’m so screwed. I can’t hide like this. What am I going to do?”
Roan shrugged at me, and I knew he felt my helplessness. I could see my glow against him as if I were a bright light shining on him.
“I worked out for hours to make the glow fade a little, and now… I’m serious. I’m open to suggestions. I’ve tried everything and I’m so tired and I can’t—” I was trying not to panic, but my breath was heaving in and out, and I was so tired. So unbelievably tired. I just wanted to go home, but that wasn’t happening.
“Saying your name shouldn’t have done anything,” Lorne said. “I need to see you.”
“No,” Declan said.
“Declan. I’m not asking.” His tone was all demand. “I need to see her. Turn. On. The video. Feed.”
“No.” He massaged the bridge of his nose, and I wondered if he was as freaked out as I was. “Jason’s here. I think he suspects—” Declan stopped, as if speaking it aloud would make it true. “Trust me. I can’t risk using a stronger signal. He knows what to look for, but voice should be fine. The signal isn’t as complex.”
Lorne muttered something in Aunare. “When does Jason leave?” The name “Jason” was soaked in hatred. I couldn’t imagine hating anyone that much, but I was sure he had a good reason.
“Nine a.m.”
“And you’ll leave after him? Come straight here?”
The way he was asking the questions—more demand than anything else—I wondered who this guy was and why he cared so much about getting me back to wherever he was.
“Yes. Tomorrow evening.” Declan looked at me. “Everyone will have cleared out. It should be safe by then.”
I closed my eyes for a second, thankful that this was actually happening. I really hoped it’d be safe tomorrow. I needed to get out of here before I got caught. Especially since the whole glowing thing was getting worse.
“Good.” Lorne heaved a heavy sigh. “Good.”
“Wait. Jason?” Roan said. “Who is Jason?”
“Jason Murtagh is—” Lorne started, but Roan cut him off.
“I knew you looked familiar. You’re Declan Murtagh, SpaceTech CEO’s black sheep son. Jason is the golden boy, primed to take over for your dad whenever he retires. And Lorne ni Taure? Heir to the Aunare throne?”
Declan froze and then looked to me. If I wasn’t mistaken, there was guilt in his eyes. He’d withheld his last name, and I hadn’t asked. I assumed he was just someone who worked for SpaceTech, but I knew those names as well as I knew my own.
I didn’t know what to say. I hadn’t realized who Declan was. I trusted him with my life, but he was almost as high up in the SpaceTech food chain as he could get. Maybe I shouldn’t have trusted him, but then again, if that really was Lorne ni Taure on the line, then I wasn’t the only one trusting a Murtagh.
Declan stood there, waiting for me to either kick him out of the room or reaffirm my friendship with him. I knew if I asked him to leave, he would. But I didn’t want him to leave.
In that moment, I realized that the fact he was a Murtagh didn’t really change anything. Not to me.
Declan must’ve seen a change in me because he looked away briefly to Roan as if to ask Can I trust him not to turn us in?
“You can trust Roan. I swear. He’s known exactly who I am for nearly a decade, and he’s never said a word about it to anyone.” Something didn’t add up. “Why are you helping me if you’re a Murtagh?”
“It’s a long story.” His voice sounded as tired as I felt.
“You’re full of those,” I said. “One day you’ll tell me what exactly what’s going on.”
Declan huffed and gave me a half-smile. “One day. Maybe.”
“Who else is in the room, Declan?” Lorne asked. His voice had a sing-song quality to it, and I found myself inching closer to the desk. I wanted to hear more of it.
“Me, Maité—the name Amihanna’s used for the last ten years—and her friend, Roan,” Declan said.
“Is he just a friend?”
“I think so?” Declan looked at me for confirmation.
I wasn’t going to answer—it was a bullshit question that didn’t require a response—but Roan thought otherwise.
“Am I her boyfriend?” Roan laughed. He was enjoying this a little too much. “If you’re interested in her at all, you just made a massive critical error. Trust me. The last guy that pulled possessive needy shit on her—”
“Last guy?” Lorne started talking very quickly in Aunare.
“Just ask her,” Roan said. “You got a question, ask. Maité’s straightforward. No games.”
I wanted to slow clap my best friend. This was why we’d stayed so close over the years. He got me, just like I got him. “And stop talking in a different language about me. If you have a problem, just say it.”
“It’s not that he has a problem exactly,” Declan said.
“I wouldn’t say that.” Lorne’s voice had a predatory rumble to it that made my insides hum in response.
Whoever this guy was, I wasn’t sure I ever wanted to meet him. The way he made me feel from just the sound of his voice was too much.
“Forget him,” Declan said to me.
Lorne muttered something softly in Aunare, and I wanted to reach through the stupid device and wring his neck. What was he saying? “Switching to a language I don’t know to talk about me when I’m right here is insanely rude.”
Declan rubbed a hand over his mouth. He cleared his throat as if to stop a laugh, and when he moved his hand, the smile was still there. “We have a problem if you have a boyfriend, because once we leave, who you were here on Earth will most likely come out. Anyone who knew about you might be in trouble. So is there someone we should be worried about?”
Okay. So there was a valid reason for the question, but the verdict was still out on Lorne, and I wanted to know what Declan thought was so funny. “I was just talking to Roan about that before you got here. I have to say, I’m really worried about a lot of people. Especially Roan and his family.”
“We’ll protect him and his family, and your mother already told me about Jorge. We’ll see if we can get them to a safe place with new identities before the news hits. Probably to one of the colonies, but if not, we’ll move them to an Aunare planet.”
“Seriously?” Roan said, and I couldn’t tell if he was excited or pissed or both.
“Yes. I was going to find you tomorrow. Jorge, too.” Declan was quiet for a second, and I could almost see him thinking through what he was going to say.
“Is there anyone else that would be brought in for questioning because you and your mom went missing? Anyone that you spent more than a few hours with, one-on-one?”
“Not really. They wouldn’t drag in the whole Crew, would they? Or the people from my classes?”
“No,” Declan said. “They’ll question them, but you were in hiding. They won’t hold them accountable.”
“What’s the Crew?” Lorne asked.
“One thing at a time, Lorne,” Declan said. “Anyone you’ve been dating?”
I swallowed down the knot forming in the back of my throat. How many people’s lives was I going to mess up just by being around them? Haden didn’t deserve to be ripped from his life here on Earth. I didn’t love him. I never did. He’d been nice and convenient, and I’d been so unbelievably lonely. I’d just wanted to be normal for a little bit, and he gave that to me. At least for a while.
The idea that Haden could get into trouble didn’t sit right with me. I never should’ve started something with him, no matter how many times he asked me out. “I was dating a guy, but he doesn’t know anything about me. He—”
Roan snorted. “Haden couldn’t crack her, no matter how hard he tried. Poor heartsick guy showed up a couple nights ago trying to figure out how to get—”
“Seriously!” My cheeks grew hot, and I wanted to punch my best friend. “Shut up. What happened between Haden and me isn’t anyone’s business,” I said. “And since he doesn’t know who I am, he should be fine.”
“No. Keep going, Roan. I was enjoying—” Lorne started, but Declan cut him off.
“Let me handle this.” Declan took a breath. “Okay, but this Haden spent one-on-one time with you that can be tracked. Is that right?”
I shrugged, trying to come off as casual, but I felt like I was being interrogated and I didn’t like it. I knew he was just trying to figure out who was in danger, but it still felt weird. “I guess that’s accurate.”
“Okay. I’ll check Haden out. Anyone else?”
“Nah. She didn’t spend much time with anyone. Maité keeps it all locked up tight—” I shoved Roan, but he just laughed and happily kept on spilling about me. “Only people who know anything about her are Jorge and me. She’s always stressed though, so I’ve been trying to get her to hook up with someone. A little one-nighter might help her relax and get rid of that glowing problem.”
My mouth dropped open, and for a second, I was too pissed to say anything. But that passed quickly. “Ohmygod. Shut the fuck up, Roan, or I’m going to murder you.”
“And you never offered?” Declan asked, ignoring me. His eyebrows raised in curiosity.
Roan and I shared a look. This happened a lot. “Gross. No,” Roan said.
I agreed with him too much to be insulted by his disgust.
“Oh. He doesn’t like girls,” Lorne said.
“I like girls, but Maité is just… No. That’s not happening. Ever. Gross.”
“Did you have to say gross twice?” I was going to be offended in about two seconds.
Roan rolled his eyes. “I didn’t mean it that way. You’re hot. Lorne, I know you can’t see her now, but…” Roan let out a slow whistle.
“This just keeps getting worse.” I sat down on the floor. If everyone was going to ignore me, I might as well get comfortable.
Roan shot me a wink. “And she can kick some fucking ass. She’s totally frosty when she gets going, but no. She’s like a sister to me. Thinking of her like that? It just ain’t right. I don’t see that ever changing.”
“Back at you.” I sighed. “Look. I get that whoever I might have come into contact with could be in danger, but I don’t understand why we need to get into my whole dating history. It’s really a nonevent. Suffice it to say that I’m just not wired that way. I’m a fighter, and that’s that.”
“Bullshit, Maité.”
Oh man. Roan was about to slip into the same argument we’ve been having for the last few years.
“Everyone’s wired that way. You just haven’t met the right one yet. You can’t move like you can and—”
“That’s enough!” I said. “I’ve had a really long, really hard day.” I narrowed my eyes at Declan. “A group of your cronies were at the diner, and I swear one of them knew who I was and I’ve been panicking ever since. I’m done with this. All of this. I mean what the hell am I going to do? I can’t leave the warehouse like this. I look like the goddamned North Star. Nothing I’m doing is stopping this glow, and to be honest, I’m exhausted. I’ve been hiding for so long, I just don’t want to do it anymore. I want it to just end. For everything to be over. I’m done. I can’t take one more day…”
I flopped on my back before I got too emotional and squeezed my eyes shut. But it was true. I was so close to getting away, but it still felt like a distant hope. Like it wasn’t real. And the fact that I couldn’t even get a handle on my skin after hours and hours… I was wrung out.
“Amihanna?” Lorne’s voice felt like a hook in my soul. The way he said my name made my skin hum.
“Please. Stop.” I didn’t mean for it to come out as snappy as it did, but I couldn’t help it. “You make it worse every time you talk to me.”
“I can’t fix a lot of things, but if you want, I can stop the glow.”
“You can?” I wanted his help. I wanted it more than anything because I was so tired and the glow wasn’t going away. But Lorne wasn’t even in this solar system. How could he possibly help?
“Yes. If you’ll let me,” Lorne said. “How much do you remember about me?”
I glanced at Declan. He was sitting at my desk again, watching me carefully. I’d been through this last night with him. I don’t remember Declan. And I really didn’t remember anyone named Lorne. “Will you still help me even if I don’t remember you at all?”
“Yes.”
I was desperate, but I couldn’t lie. “I don’t know anything about you except what I’ve seen on the news. I’m not even sure I know what you look like. I don’t know how you and I and Declan are connected. I know my father is basically best buddies with your dad—that together they rule the Aunare—but other than that, I don’t understand why you’d even care enough about me to help me.”
Lorne’s long sigh felt like a stab in the chest. “Declan. Please. How could she forget?”
“Her mother had parts of her memory wiped.”
Lorne started quietly muttering in Aunare. I glanced at Declan, and he motioned to hold on.
“It’s not as bad as it sounds. Wipe is too strong of a word. Liz had them dulled enough that Ami wouldn’t remember y
ou or me or her father or much about the Aunare. When they were on the run, Ami was really scared—with good reason—and kept asking for you and crying and asking to go home to Sel’Ani and speaking in Aunare. It sounds like it was a really terrifying few months. They were almost caught a couple of times. Liz had to make sure Ami didn’t say something that would get them killed. She was desperate. Liz said it got easier in some ways after the wipe.”
“Can it be undone?” His words were clipped, and I wondered what he was thinking. What he was feeling. Who he was to me.
“Liz told me that Ami should learn Aunare quickly once she’s exposed to it. Once she feels safe, she might start to remember some of her memories, but again, her age at the time of the wipe is a factor. Some of those memories would’ve faded anyway because she was only six the last time she saw any of us. The wipe gave them an extra push. Although some part of her might think of us as familiar, she said to think of this as a fresh start with her.”
“I just…I thought she’d remember me. Us.” His voice wavered.
I felt terrible that I’d hurt him. I didn’t like that there were things that I was forced to forget. It felt too much like a betrayal, even if I understood why my mother had done it. Getting a little kid to keep quiet must’ve been an impossible task.
“I know,” Declan said. “Me, too. But I think that’s why she’s reacting to your voice. The memories are really buried in her subconscious, but they must still be there.”
“That had to be a very skilled wipe. Removing a language and memories of people, but leaving who and what she was.”
“Yes. Liz used all of their money for it.”
A loud gasp came through the line. “How did they survive without the money we left for them?”
I didn’t know much about the wipe, but this was a question I could answer. “We worked. Wherever we went, we found odd jobs. Cleaned houses. Mom did hair for a while. Babysat for neighbors. Did handy work. I read a book on plumbing and…” I let out a breath as I remembered all the times I’d been scared. The times when we didn’t have enough money for food. The times when we huddled together with only a blanket to keep us warm as we slept on the cold pavement.
