by Aileen Erin
“Not many. Come on.” He shoved himself out of his chair. “We have a bit of a walk ahead of us, and the entrance to the ship will be a little… Well, it’s not for civilians.”
That was incredibly vague, and I wanted to ask more questions—not just about the entrance to the ship, but about the mining runs and the base in general—but Ahiga strode away, effectively ending our conversation.
I guessed I’d asked one too many questions.
After taking some turns, we entered an elevator. Ahiga hit the button to go up to the fourth floor, but it was the longest elevator ride ever. I could feel the upward motion, but there were minutes between floors.
The elevator dinged as we finally reached the fourth floor. My toes were almost brushing the door as I waited for them to open.
“Claustrophobic?” Ahiga asked.
“No.” I let out a breath, trying to ease my anxiety. “I didn’t think so, but…” Maybe I was.
The idea of being stuck in here made me want to climb the walls, but I’d only just gotten out of solitary confinement. Apparently, even my short stay in jail made a big impression on me. I hadn’t enjoyed being locked up. Not even a little bit.
The doors finally opened, and I barely stifled a gasp. No wonder it took forever to get up here. We’d been indoors until then—with no windows—but now I could finally see the hangar. We were at least one hundred and fifty meters from the ground—easily fifty stories.
There were three ships inside the hangar, noses pointing to the sky. A symphony of beeps and clangs and whirring of drills filled the massive space as crews of mechanics rushed below the one farthest from us. The workers looked like little ants swarming around the bottom in a chaotic frenzy. The fact that they hustled me quickly through the court proceedings to this catwalk made me think that all of the craziness below was to rush me off planet. But not everything was about me. That could be their everyday kind of frenzy, and I could be totally wrong about which ship we were heading to.
“What’s the holdup? You afraid of heights, too?” I’d stopped just outside of the elevator, blocking Ahiga from exiting.
“No.” I knew that one for a fact.
Mom said my father, whenever he had time, liked to free climb up the tallest scraper in DC to watch the sunset. He’d apparently sit up there, dangling his feet off the edge like it was no big deal, waiting for the moon to rise and the stars to shine. After I was born, he’d strap me to his chest and take me with him. But I didn’t know if that meant all Aunare were this way, or if that was just how my father and I were.
“But I’m not in a rush to get to Abaddon.” I moved to the side so Ahiga could get around me.
Ahiga grunted, telling me with that one sound that he wasn’t looking forward to it either. “We gotta walk across a few of these catwalks to get to the ship.” He pointed at the ship I’d been staring at. The catwalks zigzagged between the ships, creating walkways at different levels across the hangar. There were lower levels of catwalks where workers were accessing panels on the ships, middle levels with more workers, and then the one with just me and Ahiga nearest the ceiling.
I started down the catwalk and winced at the feel of the sharp metal against my papery shoes. The grating was probably meant to grip shoes, but the things I had on were less than slippers.
There was nothing to do but keep going. I took another step, and something caught my eye down below. A truck was loading containers with a hazardous logo on them into a ship. I turned to ask Ahiga, but he was still standing at the entrance to the catwalk looking down at the ground. Little beads of sweat pearled on his forehead. His mouth was moving, but it was way too loud in the hangar to hear what he was saying from ten feet away.
I quickly strode back to him. “Ahiga?”
“Fucking ships. Goddamned catwalks.” His gaze stayed frozen on the workers down below us as he mumbled. He wasn’t talking loud enough to be talking to me, but I could make out his words well enough.
To be fair, we really were high up, but the catwalk was pretty steady and had railings. If one of them gave way, sure, we’d be a mushy pancake when we hit the ground, but I doubted that would happen. The walkway didn’t even sway as I walked on it. Still, this probably wasn’t the most pleasant way to board a ship, especially for someone with a fear of falling.
A bead of sweat trickled down the side of Ahiga’s face, and he swiped it away with a shaking hand. “I’ve done this before. Just…need a second.”
He was SpaceTech IAF. I was sure that he was fully able to do this himself, and it would’ve been easy to let him sweat it out, especially after the interrogation and how he put that chip in me without any warning… But I hated to see someone suffer when I could do something about it.
The guy was pathetic. “Come on.” I grabbed his hand and gave it a little tug. “We’ll get there faster this way.” I took a step back, onto the catwalk, but he jerked me to a stop. “Just look at me.”
“You’re walking backward.” His words were a little garbled.
The fact that he was scared for me told me that helping him was the right choice. “I’ll be fine. Just start walking.” I gave him a sharper tug, and he stumbled forward one step. And then another. And another.
Slowly but surely, we made it across the first of ten catwalks.
The more we walked, the more I studied him. Who was this guy? Could I really trust him? I wasn’t getting that gut feeling, but he said that Declan assigned him personally to me. Which meant I should trust him.
I went back over the interrogation. I’d felt threatened and cornered, but Ahiga hadn’t been mean. He hadn’t asked anything out of the ordinary, and now that I really thought about it—as I held the man’s shaking, sweaty hand in mine, half-pulling him across the catwalk—I realized he hadn’t really interrogated me. There’d been no questioning my answers. No persuasions. He never rushed me, even when took a long time answering because of my breathing exercises. He’d been endlessly patient with me. In the moment, it’d been intense, but it’d actually been pretty mild.
Questions popped into my head, and I glanced around the hangar. There were cameras all around—some hovering in the air and others mounted to the walls and ceilings. I couldn’t be sure what they were looking at or how much they could hear, but I figured there was so much going on here and it was so incredibly loud that the chances of SpaceTech doing more than keeping a cursory eye on us were probably pretty low.
I squeezed Ahiga’s hand tightly, and the fear cleared a little from his eyes. “Are they listening?”
“No. Not with so much noise echoing against the metal walls. In theory, they could read our lips, but not with how close we’re standing. Not here.” He motioned to the small, black glass window across the hanger from us. “I’ve been in the control room. Camera angles are working to our advantage.”
I loosened my grip on his hand. “So can I ask you something?”
“Yes. We’re good until we get closer to the next ship, but keep your head down.”
I glanced back. We had two more catwalks before we reached the middle ship. And then a few more before we reached ours. “You said Declan requested you to have custody of me.”
“Yes.”
“And why would he do that?” Declan had to have a good reason.
“Because, like Declan, I’m on your side. I don’t want a war. Getting you home in one piece. Getting you to convince your father that we’re not all evil shitbags. That’s our one shot.”
I was the one shot? That was absurd. No one could have that much sway. Especially not me. “You’re placing a lot on my shoulders that shouldn’t be there.”
“No. I know who you are. You, Declan, and Lorne. The three of you together—you’re the ones that could change this. It might seem like a lot, but that’s what you were born into. I can’t change who you are, but I can help you as much as I’m able while we wait for Declan.”
I took a few more steps backward, pulling Ahiga with me. If he really thought I co
uld stop this war, then he was an idiot. I didn’t know my father well enough to convince him of anything. Maybe Declan and Lorne would have better luck, but they didn’t need me for that.
I pushed that aside for now. “But you can’t really help me on Abaddon, can you? Not if you’re going to keep your cover.”
“I’m Elite IAF, which means I’m highly qualified to keep you safe. You might not see me or hear from me, but I’ll be watching. You’ll have to do your job—whatever it is there—but I’m your backup. And I’ll keep being your backup for as long as I’m needed. You’re our best hope, and I’m taking that seriously.”
“Best hope?” That was so iced.
I’d lived in fear for most of my life because of what it would mean if SpaceTech ever found me. I knew what the implications were, but I’d never heard someone else voice it quite like that. That I was the linchpin that could upend the galaxy? That the death of billions could be on my shoulders? That I could be blamed if there was a war?
The pressure that I would be responsible for so many people had never loomed over me in such a way as it did in that moment. Pressure so tangible that my ears started ringing and the air turned too thick for me to breathe.
“Your skin.”
He was right. The glow was still minimal, but it was there.
I sucked in air and counted to six. Three counts out. Three in. Six out. I started walking again, pulling Ahiga with me. He watched me with wide eyes, and I shook my head. I couldn’t talk about it and not panic.
Four in. Eight out. Eight in. Four out. Six in. Three out.
When I had it under control, I stopped counting.
“You okay?”
“I must look pretty bad since everyone keeps asking me that.” But no. I wasn’t okay. I wasn’t sure I’d ever be okay.
Even in the best-case scenario—where I somehow got to Sel’Ani—I wasn’t sure they’d appreciate a halfer any more than the Earthers did. With good reason. The Earthers had slaughtered tens of thousands of Aunare. Yet somehow I was supposed to bridge the two species?
No. I definitely wasn’t okay.
Chapter Fourteen
It must’ve taken us nearly thirty minutes to inch our way to the other side of the hangar when I could’ve done it in less than ten. By the time we reached the end of the catwalks, my throat was dry, and I longed for a home I’d never see again.
“I’m hoping you’ve got it from here?”
Ahiga grunted. “Come on.”
I finally turned around to face forward and was shocked to see how massive the ship was. When we first came inside the hangar, I’d thought our ship on the far side was the same size as the other two we passed—maybe a bit bigger—but it was easily three times the size. It loomed overhead, impossibly large, like a monster coming to swallow me whole. I stepped inside on shaky legs. Turning back wasn’t an option, especially with a tracker in me.
“The 78X4 is the biggest in SpaceTech’s fleet,” Ahiga said without looking back at me.
I struggled to keep up with him as he started through the ship. I wouldn’t have known it on the catwalks, but Ahiga could move faster than I’d thought for someone his size. “78X4?”
“I didn’t make it up.” Ahiga shrugged. “They’ll be dropping off supplies for the base, and picking up lucole. To move that crap around you need a heavy-duty ship. Every speck of it weighs way more than it should.”
“Right.” I kind of liked that the crystal that fueled all of SpaceTech was a pain in the ass to manage.
The ship wasn’t as bustling or fancy as I’d pictured. I assumed that there’d be comp panels on the walls or more doors. Maybe more people. Just more of everything. But from what I could tell, it was all empty hallways, not unlike what we’d walked through to get to the ships. No windows. Everything was shades of gray—the floors, ceiling, and walls.
As we walked deeper into the ship, I felt like it was closing in around me. My palms were sweating even though the air conditioning was blasting hard enough to chill my skin. A row of dim lights lit the floor and ceiling where they met the walls, but that was the only light. The only sound was our echoing footsteps. I couldn’t hear anything from outside. It was like an enormous gray coffin.
I wondered if that was what SpaceTech had wanted. It would’ve been easy enough to brighten up the ship a little, but having only been inside it for a few moments, I felt a certain doom. Like anyone in here was heading to their death. But that could’ve easily been me projecting my feelings about where I was going.
I wasn’t sure what would be in store for me on Abaddon, and I didn’t really know if I could keep my promise to Declan to survive. That didn’t mean I wasn’t going to try, but fear was making each step I took into the ship harder.
Finally, after an endless zigzagging hallway, we came to a door that whooshed open as we approached. The air inside the room brushed against my face, sending chills across my skin.
Ahiga stepped forward, waving me to do the same, and I followed him on shaky legs.
The small room was filled with cryo chambers. Each chamber was about the size of a twin bed, laid out in circles, five each, like the petals on a blooming nightshade bud. In the center of each flower was a circular console with images hovering above the head of each chamber. At the moment, they read “not in use,” but that would change for at least two of them.
I counted fifteen chambers and wondered if a flight crew would be here after launch or if they’d remain empty. Not that it mattered. But I had to keep my mind focused on something or else the fear of the cryo sleep and Abaddon and whatever nightmare I was going to face next would be too much for me to control. If I wasn’t careful, I was going to start glowing brighter than the sun, and I couldn’t afford for anything else to go wrong. Not now.
A nurse came in behind us, her white medic uniform pristine, not a single hair out of place. “Please lie down,” she said, motioning to the nearest chamber.
My hands shook as I climbed onto the bed. It would be my first time to be put into stasis. Human medical procedures and I didn’t exactly have a fantastic history. The one time I had nanos hadn’t been pretty.
I hoped that Declan had worked his magic on this, too. He’d covered everything so far. If he hadn’t, then I’d pray that whatever they did to put a human in stasis would work for an Aunare.
I glanced over at Ahiga, who was getting into the chamber next to me. While my head was turned, the nurse pressed an injection gun to my arm. Pain radiated all the way down my bicep to my fingertips. “You could’ve warned me.” Fear and pain made my words sharp.
“No time. We leave precisely at oh-nine-twenty-five.” A little less than an hour.
A tingling sensation started running up my arm, replacing the pain. I wanted to ask if that was normal, but if it wasn’t then the nurse might ask questions that I didn’t want to answer. It was too late anyway. Whatever she’d injected me with was already doing its thing. I’d have to find a way to get through it.
I was still rubbing my arm when she came back with a patch. She slapped it onto my forehead, and before I could ask what it was, she started punching buttons on the side of my chamber.
The tingling was getting worse, painfully spreading out to all my limbs, and I had to ask. “Is it supposed to tingle so much?”
The nurse scrunched up her face, giving me a look like she thought I’d lost my mind.
My heart kicked up a notch. “Forget I asked,” I said quickly. Apparently, it was an Aunare side effect. That was bad. Especially since I would be trapped in here for two weeks if something went wrong.
The glass top started coming toward me from the foot of the bed. I slammed my head back on the pillow, narrowly avoiding getting hit in the face with the lid of the chamber. My panting breath was fogging up the glass three inches from my face. The patch on my forehead was starting to burn, and I itched to take it off, but I couldn’t move my hands. A sharp poke hit my arm, and I glanced down to see an IV extended from the wall of the c
hamber, feeding liquids into my arm.
“Relax. You’ll be on Abaddon before you know it.” The nurse’s voice was muffled by the glass. She gave me a stiff nod and then walked off.
The nurse was crazy. I couldn’t relax. I whimpered as I tried to move but couldn’t. As the tingles spread across my body, I became paralyzed.
I knew that I was supposed to be falling asleep, but I wasn’t. I was frozen. Being awake and frozen and trapped in a tiny pod was a nightmare that I wanted out of. Now.
“Just relax,” Ahiga said from the next chamber over. “The meds in your patch will hit in thirty seconds. When you wake up, we’ll be on Abaddon.”
When I tried to answer him—to ask if this was normal, even if I was already pretty sure it wasn’t—my lips wouldn’t move, and my tongue was tingling worse than the rest of my body. I only managed to make a garbled noise. I started the breathing technique again, but it wasn’t working. My skin began to glow, and I lay there terrified that the nurse would come running back. That the ship’s crew would come in and see. That someone would find out what I was.
I waited and waited and waited, but nothing happened. No one came back.
I’d read about cryo sleep. The theory was that the mind went into some state of perma-tranquility, like sleep but without dreaming. Everything slowed down, including aging, to help combat the effects of warping space faster than light speed. Except that everything I was feeling wasn’t like what I’d read.
It was supposed to be a peaceful transition to sleep, but I wasn’t falling asleep. My body was, but my mind could feel my lungs and heart slowing and panic set in.
I was frozen, and there was nothing that my medicated body could do about it.
It took longer than Ahiga said, but eventually, the patch kicked in. Except that didn’t work right either. Instead of being peacefully unconscious, my mind started drifting through a trancelike state. I was completely aware of the fact that I was dreaming, and no matter what happened, I wouldn’t wake up until the drugs paralyzing my body wore off. Not until Abaddon.
