“Bye, Holly,” I growl, closing the door in her face.
Her waffled response floats through the door and then her footsteps fade as she stomps off down the hall.
“So, are you hungry?” I ask Valentina.
“Famished,” she admits.
I take her hand and lead her into the kitchen. She looks impressed with all the prep work I’ve been doing.
“You’re definitely full of surprises,” she declares.
“I’m full of something.” I carefully ladle a spoonful of sauce out for her to try. “Taste this.” She blows on it with such delicacy that my pants begin to constrict. Only Valentina could make tasting a spoonful of sauce appear sexy.
“Delicious,” she murmurs, running her tongue over her lips.
I nod my agreement. It is delicious.
Only I’m not talking about the dinner.
“I can’t believe I didn't know you knew how to cook, Hudson.”
“It’s a game changer, right?” I joke. “Seriously though, don't get too excited. Unless you don’t mind having spaghetti and meatballs for every single meal.”
“I do like spaghetti and meatballs,” she murmurs.
“Can I get you a drink?” I ask. “I've got a lovely bottle of sparkling water cooling in the fridge.”
I wink at her as I pour two glasses and push one across the table to her.
“You’ve really gone all out.”
“For you, anything.” I take a sip and then turn my attention to her. “I just wanted to show you I can be serious, that this is more than just sex, and that you can trust me.”
“Good. This means a lot. Thank you, Hudson.”
“Don’t thank me until you’ve eaten.”
Dinner is delicious. It’s great that we’re able to sit down and relax, without feeling the pressure of getting pregnant and having a baby. The more time I spend with her, the more I start to let my mind wander. I can't help thinking about the future and the life we’re going to have. I know this is just an arrangement that suits us both, but what if I could be more than that?
Maybe this could work on another level.
I shake my head, dismissing the thought as soon as it enters my mind. That kind of thinking is going to wind up getting both of us hurt.
“Sorry for the little joke Holly and I played on you.” Valentina’s voice breaks through my thoughts. I laugh, because I’d forgotten about that.
“It’s fine. I probably would’ve done the same thing,” I admit. “I’m glad she knows. It felt weird keeping this from her.”
“It did for me too,” she admits.
We finish tidying up after dinner and settle onto the couch. I’ve got something in mind for dessert, but as I inch closer to her, I can tell by the way her body is tensing that she’s not into it.
“I’m sorry, Hudson. It’s been all about sex for the last week,” she confesses. “I’m so tired of it. Can we have one night where we can just … not?”
“When you put it like that, how can I say no?”
“I didn’t mean it like that—”
“V, it’s fine.” I feel bad for teasing her. “How about we watch a movie?” I suggest.
To be honest, I’m glad she wants a break. Don’t get me wrong, I’d fuck her all day and night if she gave me the chance, but this means she wants more than just sex. I know I shouldn’t read too much into it, but I can’t stop my mind from wandering…
She smiles then slides her hand into mine, snuggling closer to me.
“That sounds great.”
Halfway through the movie, I realize I know nothing about it. I’ve been too focused on her, the way she’s inched closer to me, until she is pretty much sitting in my lap. I love the feel of her being so close to me because I feel like I can protect her here.
What exactly I’m protecting her from, I’m not sure yet.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Valentina
“I’m sorry,” the officer says with a shrug. “If he won’t see you, there’s not much I can do.”
“Thanks.”
I give him an icy stare before turning on my heel and leaving the correctional facility. I thought for sure if I came out here, he’d see me, but apparently, I was wrong.
Tears sting my eyes as I stalk across the parking lot to my car. I feel like he’s disowned me, which is crazy, because he’s the one in the wrong here, not me. The worst part is I’d forgive him in a second if he’d just see me and tell me why he did it.
He’s my dad. Aside from Gran, he’s the only person I have left.
I felt abandoned when Mom died, and now I’m feeling it all over again. All the insecurities I thought I’d dealt with years ago are beginning to resurface. Maybe I’m not as strong as I thought I was. Maybe I’m just as fake as my father is.
I slide into my car just as my phone rings.
“Hello?” I snap.
“V? I need a huge favor.”
Huh?
I pull the phone away from my ear to check the ID to make sure I’m not hallucinating. Sure enough, Penelope’s name is on the screen. Two weeks with no contact at all, and now she needs a favor? This should be good.
“Hey, Pen. Lovely to hear from you.” I don’t bother keeping the sarcasm out of my voice, but if she notices, she doesn’t say anything. “I’m doing well, thanks for asking.”
The moment I lost my status, she deserted me—just like almost everyone else. Now she needs my help, and I’m supposed to drop everything and help her? I hate the way she’s acted like nothing has changed between us.
“Good, that’s great,” she gushes with fake enthusiasm. “But I need your help.”
I sigh. “As you mentioned without so much as a greeting. What is it?”
“I need you to babysit my niece tonight,” she whispers in a small voice.
“Hold up, you’re calling me up to ask me to babysit for you?” I snarl. “Why the heck would I—”
“Do anything for me after the way I’ve snubbed you, I know. I’ve been a bitch, and you have every right to throw it in my face, but please help me. I have no one else I can ask.”
Wow. For Penelope, that’s almost an apology.
“Telling me I’m your last resort isn’t helping,” I mutter, not ready to forgive her just yet.
“Holly said I should call you,” Pen wails. “She said you’d help.”
She did? I frown. Why would Holly tell her to call me?
Unless she thought I could use the experience.
“Fine. I’ll help.”
I sigh and rub my head. This isn’t how I thought my day would be going, but after this morning, things can’t get much worse.
“Oh, God, thank you, thank you,” she gushes. “You have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that.” She pauses. “I’ll bring her over now.”
She ends the call and I stare at the phone, on the verge of a panic attack. What the heck am I thinking? The last thing I need is extra pressure on me. What if I completely mess it up?
I shoot off a text to Holly. This is her fault for suggesting Pen call me.
Me: Gee, thanks for the heads-up. Why would you suggest Pen call me?
She calls me instead of texting her reply.
“Sorry, I thought you could use the practice,” she insists. “Looking after Alia will be easy. She's the sweetest little baby I’ve ever met. Trust me, you’ll love her.”
I groan. She doesn’t get it. Minding the baby isn’t the issue. I’m annoyed that Pen acted like everything was fine between us.
“Sorry, my head is all over the place. I can't think straight,” I mutter.
“Then this will take your mind off it,” Holly says, her voice bright and cheerful. “Besides, think about how funny it’s going to be to watch Hudson trying to look after a baby.”
I laugh. That will be pretty entertaining.
“V, this is what you're getting yourself into for the rest of your life. Looking after a baby, even for a few hours at least, gives you both the
chance to see what you’re in for.”
She has a point.
“Fine. But make sure you're on call, just in case I need you,” I grumble.
“You’ll be fine,” she assures me.
After I end the call, I try calling Hudson, but he doesn't answer. It’s not the kind of thing I want to put in a text, so I decide to head home.
Back at my apartment, I straighten up as I wait for Penelope and baby Alia. I spend the whole time trying to guess what Hudson’s reaction will be. When I hear the key in the lock, I pounce on him before he’s even through the door, but before I can explain, Penelope appears.
“Thank you so much for doing this,” she gushes, falling inside under the weight of the diaper bag and carrier.
Hudson quickly steps forward to help her, the bewildered look on his face when she hands him the baby priceless. He frowns at Alia, and then he looks at me, confused.
“Something you need to tell me?”
“Pen needed someone to watch Alia,” I explain, like it’s no big deal.
“She's an angel,” Pen assures him. “Trust me, she’ll be no trouble at all. I'll be a couple of hours, max,” she adds as she walks out the door. “Thanks again,” she calls as she slams the door shut.
The loud noise startles poor Alia, who immediately begins to wail.
“What do I do?” Hudson asks, working himself into a panic. He holds her away from him like he’s afraid she’s going to bite.
“I don’t know, jiggle it or something?” I suggest. “The poor thing is probably terrified.”
I plunder through the bag in search of a bottle and find one that’s still warm and ready to be fed. I hold it out for him. He looks at it, bewildered.
“Give it to her,” I coax, leading him over to the couch. “Sit, your arm will get sore otherwise, holding her like that.”
He sits, cradling Alia closer to him. The moment he puts the bottle in Alia’s mouth, she goes quiet, her big eyes not leaving his. I sit beside Hudson, watching him with her, amazed at how natural he looks holding a baby. He looks up and catches me watching him and narrows his eyes.
“What?” he asks. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“I’m just surprised, that’s all. You’re a natural,” I add.
“I guess it’s good practice, huh?” he murmurs.
“I guess it is.”
My heart thumps as I watch him feed her, the look on his face one of awe. I love how quickly he’s taken to this. Looking after someone else’s kid with no warning must have been a shock, but he’s fallen into it with such ease that I’m excited for the future. All the doubts I had over whether we’re ready for this are beginning to melt away.
We are ready for this. I’m sure of it.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Hudson
I might have laughed when Valentina called me a natural, but secretly, I loved hearing it. I’m amazed at how natural it feels holding this little person in my arms. There’s no denying it’s hard work. I’m exhausted and it’s only been a couple of hours, but still, I’m loving it.
She’s finally asleep again, so I carefully place her in the basinet and brace myself for her cries. When they don’t come, I creep over to the couch and sink into the seat. No sooner than my ass hits the cushion, she starts to cry again.
“I'll get her this time,” Valentina offers.
I don’t argue as she walks over and scoops Alia into her arms. Just like that, she settles, Valentina handling her with such ease it puts me to shame. I can tell just by looking at Valentina that she's going to be a good mother. Watching her cradle Alia, you’d think it was her daughter. It’s like second nature. Valentina looks over, her cheeks tinging pink when catches me staring at her.
“What?”
“Nothing.” I don’t want to embarrass her, so I keep my mouth shut.
She carefully places the baby down and we both hold our breath, expecting her to wake, but the little girl stays asleep—for now, at least. Valentina tiptoes over to the couch and climbs onto the seat next to me. I reach over and stroke her cheek. I haven’t seen her look this alive in—well, ever. I trail my finger down to her mouth and trace along the outline of her full, red lips. Then I tilt her face up to mine so she’s looking at me. I stroke her hair, enjoying the feeling of her being so close to me.
“Our baby is going to be the luckiest kid in the world,” I assure her.
She laughs nervously, her eyes casting downward.
“We’re not there yet.”
“Maybe not, but we will be.” I pause. “This—tonight—has made me realize just how much I want this. I’m not just talking about having a baby, either.”
“Then what are you talking about?” Her voice is barely audible as her gaze flickers on mine.
I lean closer, brushing my lips against hers, my fingers gently stroking along the back of her neck. Her eyes flicker open, searching mine for just a moment before they close again and she loses herself in the kiss.
“We should probably stop,” I murmur.
She arches an eyebrow and takes my hands, pulling them around her waist. I tighten my grip as her lips graze over mine, the intensity between us increasing. This is a far cry from the awkward, nervous tension that was between us that first night together. It’s taking everything I have not to carry her to her room and have my way with her. The only thing stopping me is Alia.
As if on cue, the soft, steady wail of the baby fills the room. I hold my breath, willing her back to sleep, but she only gets louder. I groan and reluctantly pull away.
“Perfect timing.” My voice drips with sarcasm.
I put my hand out to stop Valentina when she goes to stand.
“Let me.”
Walking over to the carrier, I lean down and carefully scoop the little bundle into my arms. I hold her against the warmth of my chest and she settles immediately, falling back to sleep as she clutches onto my pinky. I lean down and kiss her tiny hand, amazed at how small she is. And this is a three-month-old. Imagine how little and delicate a new baby is going to feel.
“What are you thinking?”
I turn around, surprised to find her right there. I didn’t even hear her get up from the couch. I gaze at Alia in wonder, trying to put into words what I’m feeling.
“I’m just in awe of how tiny she is.”
“Scary, isn’t it?”
She has no idea.
With her safely cradled in my arms, I walk over to the couch and sit. She stares up at me with her large, blue eyes full of trust and hope. I feel like she’s going to break in my arms. My heart aches, the need to protect her growing inside me with every second.
I coo softly to her, watching as her little eyes grow heavy. She’s so strong too. The way she’s gripping hold of that finger is like nothing else. She’s fighting sleep, but the constant rhythm of my rocking is enough to send her off to dream. It’s almost enough to send me off too.
“Would you like a coffee?”
I look at Valentina and nod gratefully, wishing I’d thought of coffee earlier.
“Please. Make it a triple strength.”
As she walks out of the room, I nestle into the couch and close my eyes, stifling another yawn. I’ll just rest my eyes for a second.
Just until she gets back…
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Valentina
“Coffee is ready,” I announce.
I walk into the living room, but then stop abruptly when I see Hudson is fast asleep on the couch. Alia nuzzles against his chest, their slow and steady snores complimenting each other.
Carefully, I set the cups down on the coffee table and creep closer to them. I sit as close to Hudson as I can without waking him. They look so sweet, both fast asleep and oblivious to my presence. All I need to do is think about how amazing he’s is, and my heart feels like it’s going to explode.
Any doubts I had about Hudson being up for the challenge of having a kid have been silenced by his natural ability to take
care of Alia tonight. I can’t get over how easily he’s settled into the task of caring for her. I’m almost sad that she’s going home tonight, though I’m pretty sure that would change at around three a.m. when she’s screaming, and I don’t know why.
My heart racing, I slide my hand across my stomach, the empty feeling hitting me so swiftly and out of nowhere that I feel faint. What if it doesn't happen for us? Millions of women struggle to conceive. I said that myself. What if I’m one of them?
It’s not even about the money anymore. It stopped being about that a long time ago. This is all me and my desire to be a mother. It’s like I needed this to make me realize how much I want children. Who knows, maybe my grandmother could see something inside me that I was too blind to pick up on. The hardest thing is, I know I’m not doing myself any favors by thinking about it.
Quit worrying about the future, V. It’s not going to help.
If anything, it could make things harder.
The loud buzzing of my phone startles me. I dig it out of my pocket and see a text from Pen. She's on her way to pick up Alia. I quietly gather her things together, not wanting to wake them until the last minute. I’m so distracted by what I’m doing that before I know it, ten minutes have passed. I sit beside the sleeping Hudson cradling the infant against his chest and savor the last few moments of watching them sleep. Why do I suddenly feel like crying? Is it because Alia is leaving soon? Or is it because I’m terrified this might be the closest I get to being a mother?
“V? Open up.”
I wince at the sound of Pen’s shrill voice and the startling pounding at the door. I glance at Hudson, not surprised to see he’s woken from the sound. He looks around, a sheepish smile on his face as he stifles a yawn.
“Guess I fell asleep,” he mutters.
“Guess you did,” I whisper, rushing to the door before Pen knocks again.
She breezes inside as Hudson gets to his feet, with Alia somehow still asleep. Pen scoops up the bags and loads her other arm up with Alia’s carrier after Hudson carefully places the baby inside.
“Thank you so much,” she gushes, her voice louder than ever. “You really helped me out of a pickle.” She releases a high-pitched cackle and then starts toward the door. “I’ll call,” she promises as she floats off down the hallway. “We’ll do lunch, just like old times.”
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