I just wanted some excitement, she thought, grumpily making her way from the shower stall back to her quarters. I didn’t think that would involve taking my own life in my hands every time I shower.
She was still muttering under her breath in frustration a few minutes later, after she’d thrown on a khaki field shirt and made her way to the mess hall for her morning coffee. Enrique and Bryce were already there, and Cassie forgot her frustration as she heard their conversation.
“It shouldn’t take more than a couple of days,” she heard Enrique saying. “I don’t want to take you away from your patients, but the farthest town is only a day’s drive from camp.”
As she approached, both men turned toward her, and Enrique said, “Ah, Cassie! Just the person I’d hoped to see!”
“Why’s that?” said Cassie and Bryce at once, and Cassie noticed that Bryce’s tone had a suspicious edge.
“I need two doctors to deliver a load of vaccines to Juayua and to a couple of other towns outside the camp.”
“Why-what-a?” she asked.
“Why-yoo-wah,” he enunciated. “Juayua. It’s a lovely town.”
“Now wait a minute,” said Bryce. “I thought that you and I were going to go.”
Enrique bit his lip with apprehension. “That’s why I was hoping to see you, Cassie. Originally, the plan was for Bryce and me to make the trip together. But I have the chance to start some furlough a little bit earlier than planned if I leave tomorrow. I know it’s short notice, but if you go, I can spend a couple of extra days with my wife in San Salvador.”
“Of course!” she said at once. “I’ve wanted to see more of the countryside, and I’m happy to help you out.”
Bryce’s frown deepened. “Cassie’s only been here for a few weeks. She’s not ready for a field mission.”
Cassie opened her mouth to protest, but Enrique was already rolling his eyes at Bryce. “Don’t listen to him,” he said to Cassie. “You’ve been here for over a month—just as long as Bryce, when he started accompanying me on missions. Of course, I’d never ask you to go if you were uncomfortable.”
“Not at all,” she said, ignoring Bryce’s scowl.
“Excellent. It’s more than a matter of simply dropping off the meds at each village. You’ll need to do brief demonstrations of how and when to administer each one, and spend some time explaining what the vaccines will do. Some of them are antimalarial, so you’ll need to make it especially clear which ones are safe for pregnant mothers and which are not.”
“Count me in,” she said.
“Shouldn’t Cassie have at least a few months to settle in before you start sending her tearing off through the countryside?”
“Oh, come on,” said Enrique. “A trip to Juayua isn’t exactly the same as trip through gang territory up in the mountains. In fact, it’d be a great way to introduce her to the wider world of El Salvador.” He turned toward Cassie. “If you go, you’re in for a treat. The road you’d be traveling is one of our most famous—it’s called the Ruta de Las Flores, because of all the wildflowers that grow like a carpet on either side of the highway. It’s definitely one of the most beautiful parts of the country. There are tons of places to stop for the best coffee you’ve ever had along the way, as well as some lovely murals to take in at each town. And there are some beautiful hiking areas and waterfalls around Juayua. The trip will take at least two days, and your first furlough won’t be coming up for a while, so you should take advantage of it.”
“Cassie should stay in the camp, where it’s safe,” Bryce said.
Cassie bristled. Bryce’s caution brought out the familiar urge to rebel. She knew that El Salvador had its dangers, but she hardly blinked at the idea of leaving the safe familiarity of the camp. She had a feeling that she knew what was really bothering Bryce. They hadn’t been alone together since their kiss, and now they were about to go on an overnight mission—that she’d had a minor hand in orchestrating. But he didn’t need to know that.
“Bryce,” she said calmly. “Might I have a word with you, for a second?”
She pulled him aside from Enrique. “Look, just be honest with me. Should we talk about why you don’t want me going on this mission with you?”
“I already explained. You’re still adjusting to life here.”
“Would you be putting up this much of a fight if any of our other coworkers wanted to go with you?”
“No,” he admitted. “But no one else here knows you like I do. And I was also trying to give you a way out, in case you didn’t want to go with me, after what happened a few nights ago.”
She was relieved that his reluctance seemed to stem from his desire to make sure she felt comfortable. She wondered if his avoidance of her lately had been because he thought she was the one who didn’t want to talk. At least it wasn’t that he didn’t want her company on the mission.
“I’m excited to go,” she said. “I really am. Look, we both agreed to be professional, and the two of us going on missions together is going to have to be part of that.”
He nodded, conceding her point. They turned back to Enrique.
“All right,” Bryce said. “We’ll head out first thing tomorrow.”
“Great!” said Enrique. “That means I can leave tomorrow to meet my wife in San Salvador. She’ll be thrilled that I have an extra day of furlough. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this, Cassie.” He clapped a frowning Bryce on the shoulder. “And I’m going to need the milk truck, so you’ll be able to take that blasted motorcycle of yours instead. That should cheer you up.”
Bryce still looked somewhat reluctant. “Be ready at dawn tomorrow,” he said to Cassie. “We’ll need to be on the road before 6:00 a.m.”
* * *
Bryce kicked the large boulder that marked the entrance to Enrique’s administrative tent. Immediately, his foot began to throb. The boulder, for its part, remained unaffected.
He wasn’t frustrated because he didn’t want Cassie to come with him to Juayua. He was frustrated because he wasn’t sure he’d be able to handle an overnight trip with Cassie.
He’d already shown that he couldn’t trust himself to control his feelings when he’d kissed Cassie several days ago. How the hell was he going to get through an overnight trip alone with her?
His attraction to her was just an attraction, and nothing more.
But despite his intentions, he kept thinking about that kiss. How good it had felt, and if there might be some way to make it happen again. Since he couldn’t keep his mind off those thoughts, trying to keep his distance from Cassie was the least he could do.
He decided that this was all Enrique’s fault. Why had he specifically asked Cassie to take his place on the mission?
“What the hell was that all about?” he asked his boss, who looked back at him with wide-eyed innocence.
“I’m not sure what you mean.”
“That whole thing back there, pressuring Cassie into venturing outside camp before she’s ready!”
“Pressuring her? If you must know, she asked to be put on a few off-camp missions. I thought she was ready, and I knew she was interested, so I wanted to ask her to take my place.”
This was news. He hadn’t realized that Cassie had volunteered for any missions. For a moment, he wondered if she’d volunteered because she knew that he did most of the off-camp missions, and she wanted a chance to be alone with him. But then he remembered who he was thinking about. Cassie had always had a thirst for adventure. He was part of the adventure this time.
“I thought she seemed pretty eager to go,” Enrique continued. “If anything, you were pressuring her to stay at the camp. Do you honestly think she’ll be in danger on the Ruta de Las Flores? Especially with you there? She’ll be fine. You’ll both be fine. Personally, I thought that sending Cassie out on a mission in one of the more serene parts of the country would b
e a good way to get her feet wet.”
“Did you? Because it sounded an awful lot more like you were setting us up on a date.”
Enrique raised his eyebrows. “I was merely trying to describe the situation accurately.”
Bryce snorted. “Really. Tons of coffee places to stop at? A carpet of wildflowers?”
Enrique shrugged. “I can’t help that the road happens to be very beautiful.”
“And what’s this about you needing the milk truck all of a sudden?”
“I need it to run a few errands on my way to San Salvador. I have to say, I’m surprised by your reaction. I did think you’d be thrilled. I thought you’d be here in my tent saying, Thank you, boss, for sending me on an easy mission through one of the loveliest parts of the country. And yet somehow it seems to me that you aren’t pleased.” He paused thoughtfully. “It seems to me that it’s not exactly the mission but the company that concerns you. I get the impression that there’s more to your relationship with Cassie than you’ve let on?”
“We used to date.”
“I knew it! Dr. Andover is a delightful, intelligent, beautiful woman—so of course you dated. Did you screw it up? Do I need to move you two to separate schedules? Wait, you’re not going to transfer, are you? You can’t leave, Bryce. We need you here.”
“No, no.” Bryce waved his hands. “We don’t hate each other at all. We’re fine. Nobody’s transferring. And I didn’t screw it up—she left me, if you must know, although I’d rather not get into all of it. It was a long time ago, and it’s...complicated.”
“With you, my friend, it always is.”
“I’m just saying that while it’s been fine working with Cassie... I’m not sure about going on a trip together.”
“Because?”
Bryce hesitated, and Enrique said, “Oh, I get it. You still have feelings for her.”
“Absolutely not. That’s in the past, and even if it were true, it wouldn’t matter, because she just wants friendship.”
“Uh-huh. So does your friend know that you still have feelings for her?”
“Enrique. All of that was over a long time ago.”
“Exactly! You’ve both had a long time to change. Maybe her feelings toward you have changed, too. She wanted to go on this trip with you, didn’t she?”
“That doesn’t mean anything. Cassie’s always loved a thrill. She’s probably just bored with the camp and wants a little excitement.”
“And this is the perfect time for you to offer her exactly that!”
“That was the problem before. She liked to get swept up in the thrill. And that’s all I was to her—a thrill. We dated back in my surgery days...back when I was the up-and-coming superstar who was always asked to scrub in on the complex cases. She and I weren’t even supposed to date, because I was a resident and she was a med student. But after it was all over, I realized that that was the appeal for her. It wasn’t me she liked. It was that she was secretly dating the superstar surgeon. That’s who she was attracted to.”
“Hmm. Maybe. But have you ever thought that it might have been you who was attracted to the superstar surgeon?”
“Excuse me?”
“Being a surgeon fit all your dreams, and your family’s dreams. And you were good at it. You got a lot of recognition for a talent that you had. You got to be a superstar. But did you ever spend time just being plain old Bryce?”
Bryce thought for a moment. “Not until after the accident. Even then, everyone seemed more interested in the memory of who I used to be, rather than who I’d become. I don’t think I felt like myself again until I came here.”
“Exactly. Most people start out as plain old versions of themselves, and have to work to become a star. You started out a star, and now you have to be okay with being just the regular you. Fortunately for everyone here, the regular you is the person this camp needs. There are no rock star surgeons here. Just good docs who do good work. And who are willing to tame jaguars once in a while.”
Bryce chuckled. “Manny again. That kid.”
“He says you have a pet jaguar in a cave in the forest.”
“Hmm, I’ll bet that’s his excuse for sneaking extra snack rations—that he needs to go and feed it.”
Enrique grew thoughtful. “So you and Cassie dated back when you were a surgeon. But when she first arrived here at the camp, she asked me why you’d changed your specialty to obstetrics. She doesn’t know about the accident, does she? She doesn’t know that you quit surgery because of the tremor in your hands.”
Bryce rubbed the back of his neck. “The accident happened so soon after the breakup. I wasn’t ready to talk to her. And most of all—” he swallowed, trying to keep his voice steady “—I didn’t want her pity.”
“Okay, but why not just tell her about it now?”
Bryce sighed. “Growing up in a family full of surgeons I used to be completely overcautious about my hands, with myself. She was always so...fearless. And now she’s hearing about me going on all the missions here, and I can tell she sees me differently. I want her to think I’ve actually changed. Not that I was just some...victim of circumstance. I want her to think that I really have become braver.”
“But haven’t you? Last I checked, you do like motorcycles, and probably roller coasters, too. It seems to me that the person she believes you are is...you.”
“Yes...but I like that she sees me as someone who changed because he... I don’t know, grew as a person, I guess. Not someone who was a victim of an unfortunate accident and had to change his life because it was the only way to move forward.”
Enrique let out a low whistle as he shook his head. “Yeah, you definitely don’t have feelings for her. None at all.”
“Look, even if I did have feelings, they would just make things more complicated. So it’s best to just leave things alone.”
“Great idea. Let me know how that goes. Meantime, I’m going to go video chat with my wife. For some reason, hearing all this from you has made me especially appreciative to have the love of a good woman.”
* * *
The next morning, Cassie woke just before dawn, flushed with excitement at the prospect of seeing more of El Salvador. She dressed hastily, remembering Bryce’s request that they leave as early as possible. As she threw a spare set of clothes and other necessities into a small backpack, she realized that she was about to spend two days with someone who she’d once thought was out of her life forever. Just six weeks ago, if someone had told her she’d be working with Bryce Hamlin again, she wouldn’t have believed it.
It was amazing how dramatically things could change in such a short amount of time. She’d never thought she would see Bryce again, let alone become friends with him. Yet here they were, going on a medical mission together.
Maybe, she thought, this could be her chance to prove that she had valued their relationship. That he’d meant more to her back then than he realized. And now...she wasn’t sure if there was any possibility of things going beyond friendship. But if there was any hope of Bryce kissing her again the way he had the other night, he’d need to know that she had never meant to hurt him.
She stepped out of her quarters to see Bryce waiting just outside, strapping a cargo box to the back of his motorcycle. Little Manny was helping, running back and forth for various items for Bryce to add to his storage compartment.
“So we’re taking the bike?” she said, barely able to hide the excitement in her voice. Her heart lifted at the idea of taking to the open road.
“Don’t worry,” he said, mistaking the excitement in her voice for apprehension. “I’ve given it a thorough tune-up since our last excursion. It’s not going to break down this time. And the road we’ll be on is well-traveled, so we’re unlikely to hit any rocks or roots like we did before.”
Far from worried, she was thrilled. She’d been dying for a chanc
e to get back on that motorcycle since her first day in El Salvador.
“Can’t I come?” Manny begged. “I could fit right on top of the cargo box. Please, please, please?”
“Not this time,” said Bryce. “It’s too far away, and even the safer parts of El Salvador aren’t exactly safe. It’s certainly too dangerous for a kid.”
Manny looked crestfallen. Cassie thought she knew how the boy felt; after all, she’d spent most of her childhood surrounded by adults who told her that everything she wanted to do was too dangerous.
“It’s also too much time to spend away from your family,” she told the boy. “You have a baby sister to look after. Where would she be without her big brother? You stay here and protect Rosibel, keep her safe until we get back.”
Manny gave a begrudging nod, indicating that for the sake of his sister’s welfare, he was willing to forego an adventure with Bryce.
Bryce switched on the ignition, and as Cassie eased her body onto the bike behind him, she couldn’t help feel her heart begin to soar. She put her arms around Bryce’s waist and nodded when he asked if she was ready.
Once again, he held out his leather jacket to her. She did a small internal fist pump of excitement as she put it on. She hadn’t thought she’d get to wear the jacket again. But, of course, she didn’t have one of her own, and Bryce wouldn’t want her to go unprotected.
She wrapped her arms around his torso, noticing once again how firm his body had become.
You’re on a medical mission, remember? she thought. Try to maintain some self-control.
She nuzzled her nose into the collar to smell the warm spicy notes of Bryce’s jacket. Self-control wasn’t going to be easy. But she’d never backed away from a challenge. Bryce had said so the other night. Just a few moments before he’d kissed her.
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