“There you have it then,” Father William said, as if the whole matter was now resolved.
“What should I do?” Grace asked?
“Perhaps you should go talk to him.” He laid the ring back in her hand.
“Thank you,” Grace answered, blinking back a fresh set of tears from her eyes.
“Of course, young one,” Father William nodded and stood. “I think I’ll try to catch some sleep now. You’ve given me a lot to think on. You stay as long as you need.”
Grace smiled at Father William as he left, trying to show a brave face for him. Inside, her emotional turmoil had only gotten worse. She was still furious with Kalev for the way he’d handled everything. He should never had lied to her or tried to take advantage of their situation. Although, now she wasn’t certain how much of what Azriel had said was true. Even if it was, could she really blame him for wanting to gain his old position back? He’d risked so much for her, lost so much for her.
Flustered and frustrated, Grace started pacing up and down the central aisle. Her emotions in the last twenty-four hours had swung from terrified, to madly in love, to heartbroken. Now she was awash in confusion and annoyed by the endless amount of deceit and secrecy that apparently came with dealing with angels and demons. Kalev had broken so many rules, why had he bothered following the one about telling her of angels? It would have made everything so much simpler. They wouldn’t be in the position they were in now.
And speaking of breaking rules, what was it that Azriel had said? Fornication had only been the latest? Her first reaction was disgust. The word aggravated her. How dare he degrade what had been the most emotional moment of her life with such a base term. Maybe it hadn’t been special to Kalev, but it had been to her. Although… the thought shocked her so much she had to run through it again more slowly in her head. If sex was against the rules, and Kalev had only just recently started breaking them, then had he been a virgin?
His hesitation suddenly took on a whole new meaning. He’d not only hesitated from guilt about lying to her or breaking another angelic rule. He’d hesitated because he’d never done it before. It had been an even newer experience to him than it had to her. God, she felt stupid. She wasn’t sure what that meant about his feelings for her. Had he cared more than she had thought? Or was she just some new conquest because he was bored? Or had he thought he’d needed to sleep with her only because she’d been so forceful about it and he wanted to placate her to keep up his ruse?
Another tear spilled over the rim of her eyes. Why was she bothering to think about all these things? None of it mattered now anyway. She couldn’t change what had already happened. Father William had suggested she talk to Kalev, but what would she say? Thanks for saving me when I was little and again now, but I’m still pissed at you? You lied to me and broke my heart in a million pieces, but I guess you thought I owed you one, so let’s move on? There was no way they could just go back to the way things were, nor would she want them to. Grace always preferred the truth, even if it hurt.
Regardless of what she thought speaking to him might or might not accomplish, she wasn’t ready to face him yet. His actions of the past, no matter how heroic, did not give his actions of the present a free pass. They were enough to merit a conversation, and an expression of gratitude for what he’d done for her, but the thought of looking him in the eye right now made her knees threaten to buckle. She doubted she’d be able to have a civilized conversation. She needed to understand her own feelings better before she could articulate anything intelligible to him.
When Grace reached the edge of the steps leading to the altar, she went to her knees and folded her hands. She stared down at the ring in her hand. This ring had once belonged to Joan of Arc, one of the bravest female warriors ever to walk the earth. She hadn’t shied away from her duty or her destiny. Even as a young teenager, she’d left her family behind and convinced a whole country to follow her. She’d faced insurmountable odds, rallied entire armies to her banner. Joan had been a force to be reckoned with. It was no wonder that Kalev had admired her so much, had wanted to do something for her by looking after her family. She couldn’t imagine what it would have been like for him to be unable to save her. It certainly explained why he had risked everything to save Grace from her home - he couldn’t watch another girl burn.
Grace knew what she had to do; she would not shy away from her destiny either. She was a descendant of Joan of Arc - she would do what she had to in order to live up to that name. She would show Kalev that she had been worthy of saving, even if it killed her to do it. Loray and Daemon were her problem, not his. Regardless of what his original plans may have been, this situation wasn’t his fault. If he had chosen not to watch over Joan’s descendants, she may not have received any help at all and would already be dead. It was because of him that she even had this opportunity.
They wanted to take her alive. Injured perhaps, but they needed her alive for whatever they were planning; they’d made that clear enough. This gave her an advantage. She just needed a plan. She was sure, with a little research and creativity, she could think of something. With newfound confidence, Grace eagerly shoved the ring back on her finger.
The moment the ring slid home, a chorus of sweet little giggles filled the air, and bright white light, like rays of sunshine, illuminated the dim church. The cavernous space created by the vaulted ceiling was filled with tiny, sprite-like spirits. They looped and whirled, childishly playing with one another. The sight was so breathtaking, tears pricked her eyes anew.
“What are you?” She breathed, as one of the little spirits came near her.
Instead of answering, it just blinked at her and smiled.
“Hi there, little one,” she cooed. It floated to hover near her cheek and then nuzzled her affectionately. It felt as soft as a baby. It kissed each of her cheeks before laughing gleefully and floating back up to join the others. One by one, each little spirit swooped down to her; some kissed her cheeks and went on their way, others stopped to touch a hand, give a hug, or in the case of one particularly affectionate one, get a nice little snuggle in her arms.
As each took it’s turn, Grace felt … different somehow. She felt energized, powerful, strong. She felt as if she could take on the world. It was only after the tiny spirits had each had their turn that she noticed she was faintly glowing. They had each given her a little bit of their power, she realized with astonishment. The pure essence of it was coursing through her veins, ready to be wielded. She didn’t know how she knew what to do with it; but she did.
“I’m coming for you, Loray,” Grace vowed. It didn’t matter that he couldn’t hear her; she meant every single word.
✽✽✽
He wasn’t sure how long he remained on the floor, but hunger eventually compelled Kalev to get to his feet. The gnawing, aching feeling in the pit of his stomach made his hands shake and his head spin. As an angel, he couldn’t believe how central a role food played in the everyday lives of humans. He had wondered how so many places that served food could be sustained by the surrounding communities. Now he felt like he could enter one of those restaurants and eat every bite of food in the entire kitchen, all by himself.
Kalev grabbed a peach from the fruit bowl Grace had placed on his countertop. He hadn’t minded the mild flavor when he’d tasted it the first time, although the juice made a bit of a mess. The thirst that now plagued his throat, however, made the juicy promise of the peach much more appealing. At first, he only felt the velvety softness of the skin against his tongue, but with the first chew, the intense tartness was so surprising he spit it back out.
Kalev grabbed more fruit from the bowl, an apple, a pear, a kiwi. He bit into each one, only to find the same thing - the intensity was nearly overwhelming. What he’d thought was the full flavor of food had only been a pale shadow of the real thing. To Kalev’s tongue, it was as if a bright light had been turned on in pitch blackness, and his tastebuds needed to ‘squint’ against the painfully abrupt
change.
Despite his gripping hunger, he forced himself to take slow, small bites until he grew accustomed to it. As he ate, he also filled a glass with water from the sink and drank deeply. He sighed with relief after the first long swig. The numerous, simultaneous demands of his new, human form were perplexing and foreign. Despite the healing that Gav had given him, he ached in numerous places, particularly his rib cage. He could practically feel the mortality of it, the slow tick towards death drawing ever nearer with each beat of his heart. It made him want to vomit - another new sensation that he found even more unappealing than hunger or thirst.
As difficult as it was, Kalev had to force the thought from his mind. Focusing on the inevitable finality of his existence wasn’t going to help him. He needed to find Grace. He had to explain himself to her. That cool, distant look in her eyes as she’d dismissed him as nothing more than a stranger, had nearly broken him. He didn’t want to live another day, no less a lifetime, knowing she was out in the world, thinking ill of him. He had to let her know that, even if she no longer wanted him, no longer loved him, he loved her. What they had shared had been real. He owed her much more than that, but now, in this form, it was all he had left to give.
✽✽✽
A block away from his apartment, Kalev was beginning to understand why people complained so much about early Spring weather. He’d put on a coat, but he hadn’t been prepared for just how cold it was in freezing rain. His ears, cheeks, nose and fingertips all burned. ‘Burning cold’ might be the most unpleasantly bizarre sensation yet. This sucked. He was covered in goosebumps and shivering. “You’re pathetic,” he muttered, as he futilely huddled against the cold.
Kalev held his hands near his mouth to blow on them for the thirty thousandth time in the last few minutes. He stopped mid puff. A pair of bright green eyes stared up at him from under a park bench. It was a little striped cat. It was soaked to the skin and downright pitiful.
“You must be even more miserable in this weather than I am,” Kalev said. He put his hand out. The cat hesitated, backing its front paws up until it awkwardly bumped into the back ones. “It’s alright, little guy,” he said. What compulsion had driven him to talk to this cat? He’d certainly never much attention to animals before. Was this a human thing too?
It tilted its ears to the side and took a hesitant step forward. The cat touched his hand with his nose, withdrew, sniffed again, withdrew, and then sniffed one final time, as if trying to make up its mind. He must have passed whatever test the cat had thought of because it started purring loudly and leaning against him.
“I am such a sucker,” Kalev told his purring companion as he scooped the tiny cat into his arms. Even though it was small and wet, he appreciated the warmth radiating from it. He was only a block from his apartment, after all, and it was very unpleasant out. What could it hurt if he brought the cat in, just until the rain cleared up? Grace would want Kalev to do this. She would. In fact, she’d probably be mad if he didn’t. He was only doing this because it was what she would want.
The cat snuggled its head into the small opening between Kalev’s jacket and his jaw, thrilled to have found a warm, safe hiding space at last. Its hair tickled Kalev’s nose, making it itchy. He scrunched and rubbed at it, but the sensation did not pass. Then, a strange pressure built in his sinuses, and, suddenly, burst forth with a loud guffaw. He’d just had his very first sneeze. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” he said eyeballing his new furry companion. Kalev had found yet another weakness of his human form. He was allergic to cats.
Chapter 20
The Blue Hills Reservation was quiet except for the occasional snap of a dead tree limb under her feet, or the rustle of brush disturbed by an errant squirrel. The park had closed hours before, but that hadn’t stopped Grace from entering. After spending the following day getting some much-needed rest, she’d parked her car in the suburbs north of the reservation, and hiked in through the trees, far from the road. The power the little spirits had imbued in her crackled at her fingertips like static shock. She was meant to face Loray on her own. She could see that now. Why else would she have been granted such power? She would save herself or die trying. She would no longer rely on Kalev for protection. This was her fight; she would see it through.
Her plan was simple. Some of the best plans often were. She would pick a spot advantageous to her and call upon Loray to come face her. He would come; with no angels protecting her, Loray would think her easy prey. She would lead him to believe she was turning herself in for Kalev, trade her life for his safety. Then, when Loray came close, she would blast him with all the power she had within her. And, if her plan failed, well, then at least she would be done running. She tried not to think about the second possibility and focused on executing her primary objective.
The dense leafless forest broke, revealing a gently sloped hill. The sky was painted with delicate shades of pink and gold as the day’s last sun rays shown against the clear sky. It was sights like these that had always filled Grace with a sense of wonder. They made her believe a higher power must exist, if only to have created such vast beauty. Knowing what she did now, she could scarcely reconcile a creator who would divine such breathtaking views yet also have emissaries who were so conniving and cruel. The more she learned, the more puzzling it all became. Perhaps, one day, she would finally get answers to all her questions, although she suspected only death would bring full understanding. She just hoped that day was not today.
She inhaled the sweet, crisp air, and reveled in the feeling of being in control, powerful and alive. She was incredibly calm considering the circumstances. She was proud of herself for how far she had come. She had literally faced demons and become stronger for it. She could not have done it without Kalev, but he was the past now. The pain the thought of him caused was too distracting. When this was all over, she would spend the time she needed to overcome it too. It may take a while, but she would. She was strong enough.
An unexpected gust of wind whipped Grace’s ponytail across her face, snapping her out of her thoughts. A thunderous boom shook the ground as clouds black as pitch rolled with unnatural speed across the sky. While the thunder had sent shivers down Grace’s spine, it was the color of the little bit of sky left visible that rattled her. Where had once been the soft blush of sunset was now the sinister smear of blood red. She clung to the strength she had been reveling in only moments before. She could do this.
A voice as deep as the thunder rumbling overhead filled the air.
“So, we finally meet alone.” The owner of the voice appeared at the top of the mountain. Although he was cast in shadow, Grace knew it was Loray. The outline of a long, hooded cape flapped in the wind, and a disproportionately large bow and quiver peeked out from behind his obscured form. But it was his glowing red eyes that caught her attention. Like two beacons in the darkness, she was sure that he could see her as well as if it were still a sunny day. She was growing more and more disconcerted by the disadvantages of her current position. She had thought to meet him on her terms - at the top of a hill, sunny skies, clear visibility, after she’d settled into her spot. Instead, he’d taken her by surprise, at the bottom of the hill, with skies so black it might as well be nighttime. It could pour buckets of rain at any moment.
“What do you want from me?” She yelled up to him. He paused. If she didn’t know any better, she’d say her question had surprised him. Although when his response came any trace of surprise was gone.
“The ring, of course … and you,” he added.
“Why? What is the ring to you? Can’t you already see other demons and angels?”
“You are naive in thinking that is the only power the ring possesses,” he responded.
What other powers? Had Caleb known about those too? Was this a bluff? It didn’t matter. He wasn’t getting is hands on it. “And why me?” She asked.
“Why, I thought that was obvious. It needs a D’Arc to work.”
“Well then
this entire venture has been pointless!” She had to shout to be heard above the din of the brewing storm.
“Oh really.”
“I will never do your bidding. Ever. I’d die first. So, this ring is entirely useless to you.”
Instead of showing even the slightest hint of concern, Loray laughed. It was a deep, rumbling laugh, that made her shudder. “I have my ways of making you cooperate. And if the more, ‘traditional’, methods don’t work. I’m sure I can get creative. Perhaps watching me slowly strip the flesh from your lover’s skin will change your tune. If you’re lucky, maybe I’ll even have you help me. And if you try to kill yourself to escape your fate, I promise you that I will carry out that threat without you there to witness it.”
Grace struggled to ignore the rising sense of dread welling up within her. She wanted to vomit just listening to Loray’s vile ideas. She could talk a good game, but her mettle had never been tested. Would she truly be able to stand by her convictions under torture? While she couldn’t say for certain, she had no intention of ever finding out. She was glad, though, that Loray had brought up Kalev. They might be over, but Loray didn’t need to know that. It was time to put the second part of her plan in motion.
“What if we make a deal?” Grace asked allowing her voice to betray her fear. She wanted him to think her terrified, and desperate.
“You aren’t in much of a position to bargain, missy,” Loray commented.
“If you swear that you will never harm Kalev in any way, I will come with you willingly and do as you ask. No fighting, no resistance.”
Loray paused, mulling it over. He was arrogant enough to believe he had Grace cowed into submission. He fell for it.
“I believe we have a deal,” he smiled.
Grace knew better than to think for one instant he intended on keeping his end of the bargain. She certainly wasn’t about to hold up her end. All she needed to do was get close to Loray without him harming her.
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