A Season For Romance (The Seldon Park Christmas Novella Book 5)

by Bethany Sefchick

  He certainly did not do things like go riding in the snow or walk the frozen grounds, usually preferring to remain indoors where there was little chance of anyone catching a glimpse of him, even on his secluded estate. Nor had he ever contemplated delivering the Christmastide baskets Cook prepared directly to his tenants himself. In years past, that had always been Nathaniel’s job, but this year? Beau had expressed an interest in making the deliveries himself. Even if that meant someone would see him in the daylight.

  Beau had also never smiled much, or so she had been told. That was one thing that Dinah could confirm that he did now. For whenever she encountered Beau as she rattled about the manor house, he was always smiling. It worried her a little that he never had before. And what it meant that he was doing so now.

  The staff also seemed to believe that when Dinah became with child – and in truth, neither she nor Beau were doing anything to prevent that particular occurrence – then Beau would offer to marry her. Dinah hated to disappoint them but she did not think that outcome was particularly likely. After all, she had already spread her legs for Beau. He was taking what he desired from her as part of their agreement – which was the physical release he found within her body.

  More to the point, Beau had never even mentioned marriage to Dinah. If anything, he seemed content to live out the rest of his life here alone on the coast of Suffolk with his telescopes and inventions and what not. He did not seem to need people in his life. Or at least not very many of them. Dinah doubted that Beau needed her for anything beyond the obvious, even though she was coming to the conclusion that perhaps she might need him if she was ever to find her own happiness.

  Dinah had also learned that Beau possessed a few true friends, including the Duke of Candlewood and his sister Julia who was now the Duchess of Radcliffe, as well as the Earl of Blackthorne and his sister Lady Anna Davenport. The other men paid extended visits to Grayfield when they could, though that wasn’t often these days. Beau did visit his friends in Town on the rare occasion that he happened to be in London, and Candlewood’s annual summer house party at his Seldon Park estate was a “must-attend” event. Beyond that, Beau had few other close friends and seemed happy to keep it that way. He didn’t seem to need or want a wife at all.

  Not to mention that Beau had been very clear from the first that he was bedding Dinah simply so that Ryfell would not find her attractive and wish to remove her from Grayfield.

  So Dinah was content for the moment to enjoy her time here within the safety of Grayfield and not question her good fortune. Or wonder when she might be tossed out on her arse.

  It did occur to Dinah rather fleetingly that Beau was essentially using her in the same manner as Ryfell had planned to do. However she reasoned that since she wanted Beau as well and since he had never made her any false promises, it didn’t truly matter. After all, no one was forcing her into Beau’s bed each night – very unlike what Ryfell would have done with her.

  Dinah simply wanted to be with Beau as much as she could, giving him all the pleasure she could while she was able. No one was forcing her to do anything she didn’t want to do. This was a path of her own choosing. That was the difference. Also, Beau had never once made her feel as if she was his whore. Rather, he had always made her feel like a lady. A wanton lady, true, but a lady just the same.

  And Dinah would give herself to Beau again and again because she was falling in love with him. Or rather, she was in love with him already. The falling part had likely happened almost from the moment they met when he plucked her from the freezing river. The first time the notion of love for Beau McCandless had come to her conscious mind, however, Dinah had shoved it aside, preferring to believe the idea a lot of nonsense, just like the gypsy curse.

  By last night, however, there was no denying her feelings. As Beau had made love to her in his bed, Dinah had reached up to stroke his face and he had smiled down at her with soft, tender eyes. And she had known. These feelings for him weren’t nonsense. They were love. Which was a true shame because Beau could never truly be hers.

  But Dinah could have his body for as long as she was here at Grayfield. She could give him her love and pray that it healed something inside of him. And when she was gone, he might remember her for that if for nothing else.

  And that was precisely why Dinah planned to be in Beau’s bed again tonight, provided she did not exhaust herself by hanging holiday garlands this afternoon.

  “You seem to be rather cheerful today, my lady. What has you in such a good mood? Let me guess, for this is an easy riddle to solve. It is my old friend, the cursed Marquess of Kingsford.”

  Turning, Dinah smacked Nathaniel lightly on the shoulder. She hadn’t called him “Dr. Longford” since the day after she arrived. He, however, still referred to her as “my lady” when he was in a teasing mood. Which was often. If nothing else, Dinah had the impression that Dr. Nathaniel Longford had always been and would always remain a source of good cheer at Grayfield.

  “Actually,” Dinah replied saucily, “I am enjoying having a true and proper Christmastide celebration for the first time in a great while.” She fingered the bit of greenery she had been looping around the railing at the base of the main stairway. “It has been years, actually, if not a decade or more. I had forgotten how much fun it is to decorate.”

  Nathaniel gave her a long, searching look. “As you might guess, it has been some time for us here at Grayfield as well, Dinah.” The physician only used her Christian name when he was serious, so Dinah paused in her fluffing and arranging of the garland. “Everyone here thanks you for what you’ve done. Especially Cook. She has finally been allowed to make her wide variety of Christmastide treats again. She hasn’t done that since she took the position here several years back.”

  “You know I can’t take credit for the changes at Grayfield. Or with Beau.” Dinah shook her head. “This change in him has nothing to do with me.”

  Now it was Nathaniel who shook his head. “You can tell yourself that all you like, Dinah, but we both know that is not true.” He glanced at her still flat stomach. “And in case you hadn’t noticed, though I am rather certain you have, our Beau is doing everything within his power to keep you here, as well.”

  Dinah knew what Nathaniel was referring to, of course. She was innocent but not stupid. “Oh. Well, yes, I suppose it might appear that way to some, though I can assure you, he does not wish for me to stay on here beyond Twelfth Night. We are simply…well, I hadn’t thought anyone noticed, really.” Then she blushed what had to be the very brightest shade of crimson red. “Well, I mean I knew people noticed what we were about, certainly, but I didn’t think anyone else noticed that we were not…careful.” Lord, this was an embarrassing conversation.

  “It is difficult not to notice, Dinah, especially for a physician like me. It is what I am trained to do, after all. Not to mention the other, rather obvious, indications since the two of you are the least careful or stealthy individuals I have ever met in that regard.” He cocked his head to the side. “Our good friend Beau McCandless is trying to get a child on you, and you, my lovely Dinah, are doing nothing to prevent that outcome.” Then he smiled softly. “Which I think is wonderful, for what that is worth to you. You are good for him.”

  “I am all wrong for him,” Dinah corrected as she gestured toward the garland she had just been fussing over. “Besides, this was all Beau’s suggestion. Not mine. I would have been happy with a little extra claret in my glass come Christmas Day. I certainly did not expect all of this.”

  “Still, I think that deep down in your heart you know this is all because of you. For you. Because Beau wishes to please you. To convince you to stay with him.” Nathaniel glanced at the decorations Dinah had strewn all over the house. “Bows. Garlands. Even that infernal tree he had Harris drag into the ballroom yesterday. Next thing you know, he will be planning a ball. That is not Beau I’ve known all my life.” He blew out a breath. “But it is the Beau that should have always been b
efore his parents turned him into a recluse and convinced him he was a cursed monster. Rot and bother, the lot of that nonsense and a curse on them, if you will forgive my saying so.”

  Dinah threw up her hands. “What would you have me do, Nathaniel? Announce that I want to stay here and demand that Beau marry me right this moment because I might be carrying his child?”

  Nathaniel considered her words, as if truly thinking about her suggestion – which only went to prove that the man was slightly daft, just like everyone else around here. “That is one way to go about getting what you want,” he admitted. “And I hasten to point out that in all of this discussion, you have never once told me that you do not wish to stay and become Beau’s wife.” Dinah blushed again and looked away quickly, for Nathaniel was right, as he always was. “Or you could simply tell Beau that you love him and see what he says in return. I think you might be surprised by the answer.”

  “No. I could not do that. Beau does not love me. I know he doesn’t. You are wise about many things, Nathaniel, but not about that. Beau does not lie. If he cared for me, he would say so.”

  “Or he might be as afraid as you are,” Nathaniel offered quietly. “Consider that life has not been kind to him, either. He might not want to take the risk until he is certain of your feelings as well.”

  “My feelings do not matter. Only his, and I am certain there is no love for me on his part.” Dinah looked around the main hall and at all of her hard work. “I will stay here until Lord Ryfell arrives so that Beau can chase him off with news of what Beau and I have done in his bed. If the duke doesn’t appear by Twelfth Night? Then he is not coming, and I shall leave on my own. But I would like to stay through Christmas. As I said, it has been ever so long.”

  “Where would you go if you left here?” Nathaniel asked. “Think about it, Dinah. Here at Grayfield? You are loved. Safe. Protected. Wanted.” He gestured to a nearby window. “Out there? I doubt you can say the same. Just think about what I have said before you make any rash decision. Please.”

  Then he was gone, sauntering off down the hallway as if he owned it. In a way, Dinah supposed he did. At the very least, he belonged here far more than she did. She was the outsider at Grayfield, not Dr. Nathaniel Longford. Dinah watched him go, knowing that he was wrong – at least about Beau’s feelings for her.

  Beau did not love her. As she had told Nathaniel, Beau was an honest man, if nothing else. If he cared for her, he would say so. That he was silent also spoke volumes.

  Still thinking about the man she loved, Dinah’s mind continued to wander into both the past and the future. So of course, Beau easily took her by surprise when he came up behind her minutes later, touching her lightly on the shoulder.

  “Beau!” Dinah physically jumped at the slightest brush of his fingertips. “I didn’t hear you.” Though she was glad he was here. She was always glad he was here.

  Beau wrapped his arms around her and pulled her back against him firmly so that she could feel his erection pressing into the small of her back. Dinah allowed herself to become lost in the delicious feeling of his closeness. She would miss this when she was gone, but he was not hers to keep. She knew that, even more so after her talk with Nathaniel.

  “I came to see what you were up to, sweeting,” Beau sighed as he nibbled at her neck. “Actually, Cook wishes to consult with you on the Christmas menus if you have the time. I said that I would come and fetch you.”

  Dinah laughed. She could not help herself. “Which means that you were in the kitchen snitching biscuits again.”

  “Guilty as charged.” He did not seem all that apologetic.

  “But Beau,” Dinah protested as she turned in his arms, “it is not my place to consult on menus. This is not my home.” If Nathaniel was right, her words might urge Beau to confess some hint of his future plans for her. It might give her an indication as to whether or not he cared for her.

  Instead, he just shrugged, much to her disappointment. “You are a lady of rank and you are in my home. Besides, I know nothing about the subject of menus and appropriate dishes. You, I am certain, do.”

  “I do,” Dinah admitted, feeling just a bit crestfallen, though she tried not to be. “So I should be off then.”

  Beau planted a quick kiss on her lips. “Or you could come with me and explore the attic for decorations first, for I believe the menus can wait.” He glanced upward. “Again, my mother had grand plans for the holiday season every year, but she usually ended up spending Christmas in London, no matter how much coin she spent preparing Grayfield for the holidays. Say you will come with me to explore?”

  Dinah should say no for any number of reasons, not the least of which was fear of becoming any more involved with this man than she already was. Or of losing any more of her heart to him.

  For Nathaniel had been right. Dinah did love Beau. Over the course of the last week and a half, Dinah had, despite her better judgment, fallen deeply and irrevocably in love with the so-called “cursed marquess” who was really nothing more than a lonely, heartbroken man. And despite the fact that this was supposed to be the season of miracles, she was under no false illusions. There would be no miracles for her. She had used up her supply of miracles long ago. She simply hadn’t known it at the time.

  Beau McCandless was meant for a different sort of woman than her. And for once, not because Dinah thought herself better than him. It was because she thought him a far better person than she could ever be, and she loved him enough to want the best for him. She didn’t think that could ever be her.

  For Dinah was a walking scandal. Her father had died in debtor’s prison. She had been too innocent and naive to understand that a duke wasn’t advertising for a governess but rather for a mistress. She had been a foolish, vain, selfish creature who blithely hurt others and did not care in the least. Beau had called himself a beast but it was she who had truly been the beast.

  Or she had been once. No longer.

  Now Dinah was just a woman in love who did not deserve the riches she had been given. And she now understood enough of the world to realize that the blessings she now had could not last. If they had been meant to last beyond this holiday season, Beau would have offered to marry her already. Perhaps not that first night, certainly, but in the days that had followed. That he hadn’t made the offer told her all she needed to know about his feelings.

  However enough of her old self remained that Dinah wanted to be selfish just one last time. She wanted to take what Beau was offering for however long he was offering it. She was also too weak to walk away from him now, even when she knew that she should.

  So despite her better judgment, Dinah took Beau’s hand in hers and linked their fingers together. Just as lovers would. “Lead on, Beau. I shall follow wherever you go.”

  And Dinah meant those words in far more ways than one.

  Chapter Eight

  Beau felt Dinah’s hand tremble within his and for a brief moment, his heart soared. Then it came crashing directly back to earth. He was being foolish. Thinking that a lady like her could care for someone like him.

  Nathaniel had hinted that she did. Many times over the last few days. Of course, Nathaniel was always dropping hints regarding things he knew nothing about. Such as Beau’s love life. Not that Beau had really had a love life before Dinah. The courtesans he had bedded did not count. He wasn’t even certain Dinah counted, for while he loved her, he was not at all certain that she loved him in return. He wanted to believe that she did – or that she could someday. Some days, he was certain that she did love him. Other days, he wasn’t quite as sure.

  The one thing Beau was certain of, however, was that Dinah desired him completely, for she never denied him access to her delectable body. Whenever and wherever he wished to fuck her, she was always amenable. Eager, even. That included inside the cozy confines of the glass-walled conservatory yesterday afternoon when his gardener was outside attempting to ascertain the state of the rose bushes after the heavy, wet snow they had
just endured.

  Coupling with Dinah there had been an enormous risk, but Beau had wanted her so damn much that he hadn’t been able to keep his hands off of her any longer. And she hadn’t complained, either, instead pulling him close and spreading her legs for him in welcome invitation. As if she truly cared for him. As if there was no place else on earth she would rather be than right there in his arms.

  That interlude had been Heaven on earth and Beau had wanted to remain ensconced there forever, even though he was well aware that changes were coming, whether he wanted them to or not. One day soon, Dinah would leave him and he would be alone again. At one time, he would have relished such a future, but no longer.

  More than once, Beau had wondered what would happen if Dinah became with child. Given how often they had been coupling as of late, she might already be carrying the next Kingsford heir. The thought stopped him cold. Did he even want to sire a child? Well, if he didn’t it might already be too late, he supposed.

  The idea of having a child had always frightened him. What if the child looked like him? Half of one thing and half of another? Until now, Beau had never considered the mother in the equation before. Then again, he had never been so enamored with a woman that he would have even considered marrying her.

  Dinah, though, was different, and if he thought she would have him, he would marry her tonight if he could. However, Beau had been hurt too many times in his youth to take such a risk. No, he had to be certain of her love first. Then he would ask for her hand. He figured he had until Twelfth Night to decide unless Ryfell came calling sooner. For there was no way Beau would allow that despicable duke to snatch Dinah away from him. Even if it meant forcing her to the altar so that she could become the bride of the “cursed” Marquess of Kingsford – whether she wanted to be or not.

  And if Dinah was already with child? So much the better, for Beau would certainly wed her then without question. No child of his – and certainly not his heir if the babe was a boy – would be born a bastard. It would also be lovely to spend the Christmas season with a new family. He wouldn’t be alone any longer. That would be nice, too. It was also likely more than he deserved.