by Amy Sumida
I lifted off Arach and left him hard and aching as I straddled his face. He stared up at me with wide, burning eyes as I pushed myself down on him and grabbed a handful of his hair.
“You didn't finish,” I growled and ground myself over his face. “You don't get to tease me, Dragon. Finish what you started. Use that tongue to make me come.”
Arach's eyes closed as he shivered and opened his mouth. His tongue slid up into me as he massaged me with his lips. I moaned rapturously and shifted my grip, bracketing his forehead with my hands and holding him steady as I undulated against him. Naughty, sucking sounds filled my ears and pleasure rolled through me as I used my husband's face as if he were just a toy for my entertainment.
I glanced over my shoulder and saw him working his shaft furiously. “Stop touching yourself!” I demanded. “When I'm done coming on your face, I want you to fuck me.”
Arach opened his eyes and narrowed them at me furiously, but he moved his hand from his shaft to my ass. With that one act of submission, I cried out and arched backward with the strength of my release. Magic set my skin to glowing and as ecstasy shot through me, so did starlight. Blinding, beautiful starlight. Starlight with a seed of glittering amethyst within its heart.
I surged down into that heart as the seed grew and darkness took me.
Chapter Three
“A Thaisce?” Arach's voice brought me back to consciousness. “By the flame,” he whispered in relief when I opened my eyes. “You scared me.”
“What happened?” I looked over my naked body and then at his; blood streaked his shoulders. “Did I hurt you?”
“It's nothing.” He stroked the hair back from my face. “Are you hurt? You... you didn't seem like yourself.”
“I wasn't,” I murmured as I sat up. “Arach, I think we have a problem.”
Arach's throat worked convulsively, his eyes wincing at the edges. “You almost struck Rian and then you wouldn't speak to me about it, Vervain. You... when we were together...” He looked away from me. “I can't even say it.”
“Dominated you?” I pushed at his chest playfully. “Is that what you're trying to say?”
“It wasn't you.”
“You seemed to like it,” I purred as I moved closer to him.
“Vervain!” Arach grabbed my arms and shook me.
I blinked and gaped at him. “Holy hand grenades!” I lurched back. “I'm losing my damn mind.”
“There must be an explanation,” Arach reassured me. “We'll figure this out.”
“Arach, I nearly shoved Rian away from me! Who knows what I'll do next. I can't be trusted around our children. You can't leave me alone with them!” I grabbed his arm. Hysteria rose in my chest and shivered through my body. “I need to leave!” I jumped up and rushed to the armoire. “Fuck! I can't go to the God Realm either; I could hurt Lesya or Vero.” I yanked on my clothes as Arach came up quietly behind me. “I'll have to go to Hawaii. Maybe I could hide in a volcano.”
“A Thaisce, you don't have to leave,” Arach said gently as he laid his hands on my shoulders.
I flinched away from him. “I can't even be trusted around you, Arach. Something is wrong, and I...” I saw it again; the dark amethyst seed within the starlight. “I think it's my star,” I whispered.
“Your star?” Arach's eyes went wide. “Why do you think that?”
“Because I saw it.” I turned to face him, shoulders falling. “There's something dark inside it, and I think the darkness is growing.”
“Faerie!” Arach shouted. “Where are you? We need your counsel!”
Stop shouting, I can hear you even if you whisper, Faerie, the Consciousness of the Faerie Realm, said petulantly in our heads. Then her voice sobered, I see the darkness you speak of, Vervain, but I don't know what it is. It's not the element of Darkness; I know that for certain. It's not completely black, more of a murky violet, nor is this something I've foreseen. Your future has veered from the path I have tried to guide you down. She paused and then said in amazement, I don't know how to help you.
“Great,” I grumbled.
“You have no guidance for us at all?” Arach asked in shock.
Get away from the children, Vervain. I trust your instinct. Separate yourself from your loved ones until we can figure this out.
“No!” Arach roared. “I will not allow you to isolate yourself when you need my help, Vervain. You will stay here, in our bedroom, and we will determine what this darkness is.”
A memory rose then; I stood behind a Finnish god while he sat in a machine, stealing magic from another man. My hands were on his shoulders, but I jerked away when something shot into my fingertips. Something painful.
“Something dark,” I whispered.
“What did you say, A Thaisce?” Arach asked, gentling his tone.
“I think I know what this is,” I said in a stronger voice.
Well, spit it out already, Faerie ordered impatiently.
“Remember when I told you about touching Vainamoinen while he was using the machine he built to collect god magic?” I gave Arach a heavy look. “I felt something then. Something zapped me. I think it was the magic he stole, but the transfer altered it; the theft altered it. The magic was angry.”
“And you think this angry magic has poisoned you with one small touch?” Arach asked skeptically.
All it takes is one touch, Faerie said grimly. One drop of poison to turn a well toxic.
“How do I stop it?” I asked.
I don't know, Vervain, Faerie spoke into my mind alone. But at least we have an idea of what we're dealing with. The Dragon won't let you go, but you must. You cannot taint the children. Go to Hawaii and if he follows you there, go further away. Go as far as you need to go. I'll send Alaric to help you.
Thank you, I said in my mind as I surreptitiously rubbed my Ring of Remembrance; the ring that could take me through time and space. I stared sadly at my husband as I asked my ring to take me to Hawaii; to the last time I had been there. Then, even if Arach followed me, he wouldn't find me. He has a ring of remembrance too, but he wouldn't know what time to look for me in.
“I love you, Dragon. Protect our sons,” I whispered to him as I left.
Chapter Four
“What the fuck just happened?!” I screeched as soon as I reformed in my little house in Hawaii.
But there was no one to hear my outburst. I started to cry. I was alone for the first time in years. I mean utterly alone; no one in the next room or outside in the yard. No one was coming to help me except for maybe Alaric, but I hadn't thought to tell Faerie that I'd be going back in time. Which meant that Al wouldn't be able to find me. I could try to call him, he was probably listening but, at the moment, all I wanted to do was cry. I'd be strong in a few minutes. I needed this first. And what did it matter anyway? No one was there to see me be strong or weak. I may have to rely on myself but that also meant that I didn't have to put on a brave face for anyone. I could be afraid out in the open. There's relief in that. Enough relief that I started to calm down.
I had no idea what to do. I wasn't even sure what was happening. All I knew was that I didn't want to become like Vainamoinen; cold, calculating, power-hungry... evil. I didn't want to turn into a horrible version of myself. The Godhunter gone bad. But if I wasn't sure what the machine had done to me, I couldn't figure out how to fix it. I couldn't figure out how to even slow the process down.
“I may never see my loved ones again,” I whispered to the empty house, shock making me shiver.
It was worse than when I'd first begun to hunt the Gods; I didn't even have Nick. It was just me. In an empty house. No love. No laughter. No one. I had bitched about wanting time to myself, about needing space to breathe, but now that I was faced with an endless amount of it, all I wanted was to see my children. Hold Trevor's hand. Stroke Kirill's hair. Hug Azrael and feel his wings around me.
“Get a hold of yourself,” I growled. “You're the goddamn Godhunter. You've faced fucked-up futures,
psychotic gods, and the end of the world... twice. You can do this. You just need to think. Think, Vervain!” I slapped at my temples as if I could jar some thoughts loose.
As I abused myself verbally and physically, I stumbled to the low sofa in my Moroccan-themed living room and fell back onto the bright cushions. The butt-sucking pillows pulled me down into their softness, and I sighed deeply. The peace was kind of nice. I couldn't remember the last time I'd had a chance to simply sit down in complete silence and just enjoy a quiet—
The next-door neighbor started mowing his yard.
“Ugh!” I snarled as I jerked upright. “Can't I have one fucking minute of silence?!”
The mowing stopped abruptly, and I blinked in surprise. I thought for a second that my neighbor had heard me and perhaps stopped mowing to be nice or because I'd startled him. But then I heard him cursing about his lawnmower. Evidently, it just stopped working for no reason.
“Did I do that?” I whispered to myself. “No; no way,” I huffed. “The Star doesn't fulfill my wishes like a genie; it only helps me when what I want aligns with the greater good. Power like that has to... have... limits.”
I smiled slowly, a strange feeling coming over me. I felt exhilarated and free. No people meant no limitations. No restrictions. And it seemed as if that was applying to my star as well. Was it that seed of brackish-amethyst I'd seen? Had it somehow affected my star's sense of right and wrong? Its cosmic plan? I should be worried about that, but I wasn't. I was happy. In fact, I started to laugh.
“I can do whatever the fuck I want!” I shouted as I surged to my feet. “The star genie is out of the bottle!”
Then I flinched and gasped. This wasn't me. I didn't care about controlling my star as much as I cared about the people I loved. My husbands. My children. My boyfriend. My friends. My cat. My lions. My family. I had a family who was even now freaking out. At least, one of them was. Arach had to be going out of his mind with worry and there I was; rejoicing because I'd made a damn lawnmower stop working.
“Sons of witches!” I cursed. “I'm already acting like him. I'm behaving like that bastard Vainamoinen.” I shook my head as I started to pace. “This can't be happening. It was only a little zap; barely a few seconds. My star is far more powerful than a tiny touch of... of...” I panted as I stopped to stare at my reflection in a wall mirror. “What the fuck is inside me?” I whispered to myself.
Evil, Alaric said ominously in my head.
“Al!” I screeched in both surprise and relief. “Thank goodness. How did you know to come? Did Faerie tell you that I might go back in time?”
No. I heard you ranting, and I came to see what the fuss was about. I took a look at your star, Vervain. It's not good. As in; literally not good. Your star has been tainted by something. From what I've seen and know, I can only conclude that it was a dark soul.
“Vainamoinen,” I whispered. “It wasn't the soul he was taking that touched me, it was him.”
That sounds plausible, Al said gently. I believe that what he and those other Finnish gods were doing corrupted their souls and when you touched him during a transfer, his soul struck out at you, perhaps to prevent you from taking any of the power it was consuming. Whatever the reason, its evil has burrowed deep. It's taken root inside your heart, Vervain. We need to cleanse the Trinity Star.
“Okay,” I said eagerly. “A plan. I like that. I can work with a plan. How do we clean the Star?”
I don't know.
“Mr. Snuffleupagus!” I roared.
Vervain, take a deep breath. I just need a little time to think this through. I'm the Consciousness of the Void; I will find a way. Trust me.
“Okay,” I whispered as I crumpled onto the couch. “Okay, I trust you, Al.”
Good. Now, for the time being, try not to tempt yourself.
“What does that mean?”
Evil responds to temptation; it creates temptation and feeds on it. If you get tempted, the darkness in your star might respond.
“As it did with the lawnmower.”
Exactly. And when you allow it to respond, you give it power. It grew just now when you ordered it to destroy that machine.
“But I didn't—” I started to protest.
You envisioned it, Al cut me off. You wanted it to happen, and the evil inside you gave you what you wanted.
“I can't help wanting something,” I growled.
Which is why I suggested that you try not to be tempted. Stay in this house, Vervain. Watch television, read a book, don't talk to anyone. If someone comes to the door, don't answer. If someone calls you, don't answer. Just stay here and don't wish for anything.
“Sure. Great. Isolate myself and don't want anything,” I muttered. Then I brightened and suggested, “Maybe I could just wish the evil gone.”
Go ahead; give it a try. It might just work.
I closed my eyes and made a fervent wish to be cleansed of evil. My star had once stopped Ragnarok because I wished it. Surely, it could banish a tiny speck of evil from itself. I wished and wished and wished upon my star. And nothing happened. At least, I didn't feel any different.
“How's my star?” I asked Al. “Did it work?”
Al was silent for a few seconds before he answered in a sad, soft voice, “I'm sorry, Vervain.”
“Isolation it is,” I muttered.
Chapter Five
It was the middle of the night when I started hearing voices.
Technically, it was one voice—my voice—so I'm not sure if that counts as “hearing voices” plural. It was definitely crazy, though. I was losing my mind. Or myself. I wasn't sure which or even which would be worse. The voice was much more certain. Absolutely certain about quite a lot of subjects.
Think of what you could do with unlimited power, she whispered in my mind. You could stop the God War.
“Who was that?” I sat up in my Chinese wedding bed, flicked on the lamp perched on a corner shelf, and peered through the carved walls. “Who's there? Show yourself right now or I'll wish you dead! And I can do it; trust me. I'm a dangerous wishing woman.”
Dragons and phoenixes stared back at me, seeming to come alive in the low light. But nothing stirred beyond the confines of my bed. The little room was quiet except for the whir of the air conditioner. The closet doors were shut, nothing crouched on the dresser demonically, and the only faces I could see within the dim glow of bathroom's nightlight were those of long-dead movie stars, staring out of framed prints on the walls.
“Great; now, I'm hearing things,” I muttered and fell back onto my pillow.
Only yourself, the voice came again.
My eyes went wide. “Who are you?”
I'm you; the you that you hide. The woman you want to be. It's time to let me out, Vervain. Let's be friends.
“Jiminy Cricket! I'm going mad.”
All the best people are.
“Do not quote Alice in Wonderland to me! Quotes are my thing and that's my favorite movie. Book/movie. Whatever.”
I am you.
“Nope. Uh-uh.” I crossed my arms. “I don't believe you, Creepy Voice, and I'm not listening.”
You don't want to listen to yourself?
“I don't want to have this conversation. It means I'm bonkers. Gone round the bend. One french fry short of a happy meal.”
Yes, I understand the concept of insanity.
“Well, you should. What with you being the insane part of me and all.” I rolled my eyes. “This is stupid, and I'm stopping right now.”
I closed my eyes and tried to go back to sleep. But Al hadn't counseled me on what to do if the phone call came from inside my mind.
I'm in your head, moron. You can't stop me from talking. And you're going to want to hear what I have to say. It's what you want after all.
I ignored her... me... whoever.
You're tired, girl. Enough is enough. How many men have you got now? Ten billion? This is fucking ridiculous. Literally. There's more to life than stupid boys, you k
now?
“Now, you're quoting Stranger Things?” I griped. “Stop it! You're not me. You can't be me no matter how awesome you act.”
Stop interrupting. Is that something you learned from your children? The children who you keep giving birth to despite your dangerous life. I mean, come on! Children, Vervain? You can barely take care of your cat and then you go and bring babies into this mess? What's wrong with you? It's irresponsible and irrational. Yet you think I'm the crazy one.
