“I could not find me an old man with a pipe with good nicotine because all the old men was drunk and their pipes was dead. I did find me one old man and my knees were already shaking and he said to me ei nee man, you is dronk Kleine Skok, no scorpion did bite you, go to bed, man, and take some disprins.”
Marika explained that disprins were aspirin that could be dissolved in water.
“Ja mense, that is correct. I drank me lots of disprins and I went to sleep. In the morning I could not move my legs and they had to take me to the hospital for a month with wires in my body with liquids and then they did give me crutches and it was four months before I could walk properly again. So people, they are very dangerous, these animals.”
He put them down carefully on the dry, dusty ground, watched them disappear and searched among the bushes for his next treasure.
“Ja, I found it!” He held up a coal size lump of black tar. “Tell me, people,” he grinned toothlessly and the late afternoon sun cast long shadows on his face, “what do you think this is?” He glanced around but no one had any idea.
“Licorice?” Jasmine guessed and Kleine Skok laughed.
“Nee mense, it’s the monthly blood from the women dassies; the little rabbits. All the women dassies in the area come to the same place and eventually it becomes like this. Smell it,” he offered it on an outstretched hand.
The group recoiled in a wave again. Kate recovered first and took the black lump from him, not really wanting to touch it but not wanting to hurt the little man’s feelings. “It does smell bloodlike,” she sniffed it, “and it feels like thick plastic that melted in the sun.”
“We’ll take your word for that,” Sofie laughed. “Sorry, Kleine Skok but I am not touching it.”
Kleine Skok took back the congealed dassie blood and put it in his pocket. “My people use this to cure kidney problems. When it gets hard and black like this, they boil it up with some of those green leaves I showed you earlier for the liver and then they drink the tea and their backs and kidneys is much better. I have a friend, his back was so bad he could not play soccer and he was very heartsore by this. He just lay on the ground groaning something terrible. My people boiled him up some of this, with that leaves, and next thing he was fine.”
“Is that something a witch or a sangoma would use?” Richard asked.
Kleine Skok looked anxious.
“Ei, nee man, you must be very careful with that,” he whispered, and he peered around furtively and shook his head. “Witches is stoned to death or they is buried alive. My people are healers, mense, not witches, nee man, there is no witches here.” He walked off, glancing around nervously , his expression worried.
“You frightened him, you silly tosser,” Mia scolded Richard as she poked him with her forefinger.
“I simply asked him a question,” Richard swatted her hand away.
“Witchcraft is big here in Africa,” Helen climbed over the rocks and came up behind them. “I can tell you what I know, if you like. I learned a lot about it, working here for a year.”
“Ta, I’d appreciate that,” Richard replied. “It’s an area that really intrigues me.”
Harrison rushed up to Kate, whispering urgently. “Wash your hands clean of that terrible rabbit’s blood. Here’s some water, hold out your hands, I will pour it for you.”
Kate obediently held out her hands, washed them and dried them on the back of her jeans.
“And here’s hand sanitizer,” Harrison handed her a small bottle.
Kate squeezed a dollop onto her hands and rubbed vigorously.
“Happy?” she asked Harrison who nodded, relieved.
Kleine Skok stopped, waiting for Kate to catch up. He watched Harrison, his expression inscrutable.
“Now, people,” he said, “I wants to show you something very precious, something me did only find very recently.”
He led them across the mountain, through the tall grasses and gnarled wild protea trees to a shaded and quiet area and walked up to a wall of ancient rocks, pointing proudly at the Bushmen art.
“Me did find some printings only two weeks ago. Oh, Kleine Skok was so excited, he ran down the mountain shouting. Meneer Hennie, my boss, said he thought I was bitten by a snake, me was so excited.”
He showed the group the paintings, explaining how they depicted a kill at which all the food had been eaten, not a scrap was left; all the bellies were full, swollen and sore.
Stepfan was convinced one of the images was a pregnant woman but Kleine Skok insisted it was a man replete from the feast. Stepfan was finally persuaded by the others to stop arguing, even if he did not agree.
“Let him tell his story,” Sofie declared. “Why do you think that you know better than him, Stepfan? This is his home, his heritage.”
“Our Stepfan is the resident expert of everything,” Harrison commented. “He is Mister Encyclopaedia of the Universe.”
“And you are the documenter of a thousand irrelevant facts, you and your little notebook. How many steps did you take up and down this hill? I’m sure you’ve got it all written down already.” Stepfan retorted.
“Boys, boys,” Helen admonished, “come on now, play nice.”
“He started it.” Stepfan declared.
“I can’t believe you actually said that,” Gisela was incredulous. “Would you like to compare dick sizes too?”
“Kleine Skok is waiting to tell us something,” Kate said. “We’re being very discourteous.”
They turned back to Kleine Skok who was waiting patiently. “Mense, I know youse don’t believe me but we can eat a lot when we eat. People is shocked by how much we can eat. And then our stomachs is like this,” Kleine Skok rounded his hands far away his belly. “So truly mense, that is a man there, with his stomach sore and swollen from the feastings.”
“Don’t worry, Kleine Skok, we believe you,” Sofie gave Stepfan a dark look. “Ignore that man there, you are the expert here.”
“I read a most interesting thing about the Bushmen,” Marika said, pointing back at the paintings and ignoring Stepfan who was about to say something. “You see these angles of the animals in movement? How they seem almost contorted? Later when photography was invented, it was discovered that the Bushmen’s eye was so accurate that they could see things that we couldn’t; things we could only see when captured on film.”
“Yeah, brilliant,” Richard commented. “I also think they imbibed some magic medicines, shall we say, to help them see more clearly. Tell me my friend,” he said to Kleine Skok, “I see you are wearing Rasta colours. I take it you are a man of herbal means?”
Kleine Skok was confused.
Richard made a specific smoking motion.
“Ei mense, youse is too naughty,” Kleine Skok blushed. “Nee, mense, no dagga for me. I am good.”
“Dagga?” Jasmine asked.
“Marijuana,” Helen explained, and Mia gave a broad smile and a thumbs up.
“And tell me my friend, have you heard of tik tik?” Richard pursued his topic.
Kleine Skok turned pale.
“Nee man, tik is baie gevaarlik mense, praat nie van tik nie, ai.”
“What did he say?” Jasmine asked, “I didn’t understand a word of that. He’s terrified. Richard, you’re doing a good job of scaring him.”
“He said don’t talk about tik, it’s very dangerous,” Marika translated. “Richard, what is tik, anyway? I’ve never heard of it.”
“It’s the South African word for chrystal meth,” Helen said. “It’s called tik tik because of the noise it makes when it heats up. They smoke it out of old light bulbs and it makes a ticking noise. But surely Richard, you wouldn’t be interested in that?”
“Of course not,” Richard was jovial. “It’s simply that I read online you could buy it just about anywhere and I thought I’d ask, to see his reaction.”
>
“I’d say you scared the crap out of him,” Mia said. “Jasmine’s right, Richard, he’s beginning to look at you like you’re the bleedin’ devil or something.”
“Stupid people take stupid drugs,” Rydell declared loudly in his high-pitched, nasal way. The group stared at him in surprise, he’d hardly uttered a word on the walk.
“When I grow up, I want to be frightfully stupid,” Richard commented and Mia chortled.
Kate noticed that Kleine Skok was looking quite tired out. “That’s the end of our walk,” she said, “let Kleine Skok take us back. We’ve exhausted him, poor man.”
Kleine Skok led them back through the orange orchards behind the lodge and was quick to wave goodbye. “Goodbye mense,” he shouted before vanished, his dreadlocks bouncing, “and remember, be careful, Africa can be a very dangerous place.”
“As long we follow my systems of washing,” Harrison remarked wryly, “and don’t drink the dried menstrual blood of rabbits, I’m sure we’ll all be just fine.”
“That was a cure, not a poison,” Kate corrected him.
“You know what the man means,” Stepfan said, retying his camouflage bandanna around his head. “You were stupid to even touch it.”
Kate stared at him. “I’ll touch whatever I like,” she said, through gritted teeth, “but go ahead, have the last word, Stepfan, if it makes you happy.”
He started to say something but she stalked off before he could finish.
Stepfan shrugged. “I’m only trying to help,” he said to Lena who nodded vaguely, holding an orange blossom to her nose.
The Second Night
LATER THAT NIGHT, SUPPER WAS OVER and the group was waiting for Jono on the grass around the fire pit, with the small fire offering little more than sparks and smoke.
“I’m shattered, yeah,” Mia said, “it’s all this fresh air, I’m not used to it.” She had plopped herself down and was leaning back on her hands with her face turned up to the sky.
“She’s like a child,” Helen muttered under her breath to Kate, “a somewhat retarded child.” Kate ignored her and wished Helen would leave her alone.
“What are we waiting for anyway?” Jasmine put another log on the fire. “I wish we had some marshmallows. We should have thought of it when we were at that big store.”
“We’re doing introductions of the self,” Richard said. “Getting to know each other and all that jolly bonding stuff.”
“I feel like we already know too much about each other,” Eva commented quietly to Kate who grinned in agreement.
“I want to get down to some serious drinking,” Mia joked and banged her feet together.
“And some serious sleeping,” Marika yawned.
“You party animal, you,” Mia said.
“I only arrived this morning,” Marika said, defensively.
“I want to write in my journal,” Sofie unbraided her hair and gave a jaw-splitting yawn.
Jono arrived at the campfire, holding a mug of coffee. “Good evening, everybody!” he said. “And how is everybody?”
A chorus of responses rose from the sprawled lot.
“Sweet Mary and Jesus,” Mia sat up, “it’s bleedin’ freezing up here. This is Africa, for pete’s sake, and the bleedin’ desert too, it’s supposed to be hot, yeah.”
“It does get cold at night,” Jono agreed. “You should be prepared for all temperatures, it goes from very hot to very cold. Are we ready to begin our introductions?” he asked.
“I’d like a pint in hand,” Mia said, “and a nice warm cardy. Richard, would you be a luv?”
“Of course,” he said, getting up. “Anybody else for a beer?”
“Yes please,” Ellie, Jasmine, Charisse and Brianna called out and Richard looked slightly dismayed.
“And some socks, luv,” Mia yelled after him. “My nice thick ones, not the bleedin’ thin ones.”
Finally, they were all settled, ready to start.
“Who will go first?” Jono asked.
“I’ll go,” Charisse said in her deep, husky voice.
Stepfan immediately leaned forward, his elbows on his knees and Kate glanced up in time to see Lena wince.
Kate’s throat filled with bile and she had no doubt that Stepfan, like Cam, was a believer in an open relationship. Stepfan reminded her of a young Charlton Heston, good-looking in a classical, sensual-lipped, strong-jawed, chiselled nose, high-cheekboned kind of way, but despite his movie star appeal, she found him obnoxious. She glared at him while he, unaware, was openly admiring Charisse who was still wearing her tiny gold shorts but had added added a fluffy pink angora sweater.
“Bree and I’ve been in Cape Town for six months,” she said, wriggling her painted toenails at the fire. “We plan conferences and events and we’ve been working eighty hours a week so we haven’t seen much of anything at all. We’re both from Chicago and that’s our story. My story, anyway. Bree can tell hers.”
“You’ve got such an incredible voice, you should be on the radio,” Stepfan said. “Then again perhaps not, you’d have all the men crashing off the road.” He was the only one to laugh at his joke and Jono nodded at Brianna to go next.
Brianna yawned. “Hello, I’m Bree and my story’s like Charisse’s so I don’t have anything to add, except that I hope we see lots of lions and elephants.” Brianna was clearly not enjoying the cold; she was sitting cross-legged, bundled up in her sleeping bag, with only her small freckled face peeking out.
Enrique was next. “Hi, I’m Enrique Franco. I’ve just come from Thailand, Vietnam, China and Japan and it was totally amazing. Now I’m traveling around Africa and after that I’m going back to South America to my home in Peru where I’m going to study to be a doctor.” Enrique was long-limbed and gangly, with thick unruly sandy hair and pleasant features which were mostly hidden by a bad crop of acne.
Stepfan, next in line, cleared his throat loudly. “I’m Stepfan Brummer and this is my beautiful wife, Lena. We’ve dreamed of coming to Africa all of our lives and we decided now is the time; we must do it now or never. We are both much older than all of you, how much older we will not say, but we take good care to eat well and exercise a lot and so our bodies are in excellent shape. I’m trained in several martial arts and I also do yoga regularly. Anyone who would like to join me in a daily routine of yoga is most welcome. After sitting on the bus all day, I would highly recommend we stretch our bodies and keep them in good working order.”
Kate thought it was a pity that Stepfan was on the tour; the man found it impossible to shut up about himself.
“We’re originally from Germany,” he continued, “although we’ve lived in New York City for many years, and that is where we’re now retired. I was in human resources and Lena was an accountant.”
“I was a financial director,” Lena burst out, her hands tightly clenched in her lap.
“And that’s our story.” Stepfan beamed, ignoring his wife.
“And would the lovely Lena, financial director, like to add anything?” Gisela asked dryly. She was huddled inside a pale-blue fleece jacket with the collar turned up, blowing cigarette smoke into the wind.
Lena laughed and the tension drained from her body. “No, that covered everything, but thank you, Gisela.” She blushed slightly.
Stepfan scowled at Gisela who met his glance with amusement.
“I’ve got a question for you, Stepfan,” Harrison pulled out his notebook and licked the tip of his pencil, “and this one’s for the record, as they say.”
“Anything.” Stepfan said, generously.
“Where on earth did you get that tracksuit, my friend? The abandoned wardrobe of Saturday Night Fever?”
Stepfan was wearing a tight white sweatsuit with silver stripes down the side and the group broke out into raucous laughter. The only one not amused was Stepfan. “What’s wrong with t
his?” Stepfan was genuinely puzzled. “It’s Versace.”
This had the group rolling around again. Even Lena was laughing, her hand to her mouth.
“I’m going to get a cup of coffee,” Stepfan said sourly and he got to his feet, “and when I get back, perhaps you will have composed yourselves. Or am I the only adult here?”
For some reason this set the group off again.
Jono held up his hand. “Everybody!” he called, “come on now, everybody, please, settle down, give the man some peace and quiet. Who is next to go?”
“That would be me,” Jasmine said. Kate noticed that Jasmine had unusually distinctive and beautiful eyes; they were enormous and slightly cat-shaped, the iris was a clear grey green, and she had long thick eyelashes. “I’m Jasmine Moir and I’m from Sydney, Australia. I work as a medical assistant where I process zillions of samples in a lab. Kind of like CSI but it’s not like anything on TV. I also want to say that I have a severe vitamin B deficiency and a thyroid problem which is why I’m bigger than some people.” She cast a look at Charisse who was adding wood to the fire and did not notice. “But I’m very fit and active. I do a lot of hiking as well as yoga. I’m a certified yoga teacher and I also love to knit when I’m not travelling. I even spin my own yarn. I love all things organic and I’ve also wanted to come to Africa my whole life.”
Her attentive audience erupted into a another loud round of applause but it could have been that they needed an outlet to make a noise after their amusement at Stepfan’s expense.
Jasmine smiled and nudged Ellie who seemed to have forgotten it was her turn to go.
Ellie sighed and stretched her long bony limbs out in front her. She was a plain girl, with a sallow complexion, a sharp nose and thin lips. Her sparse hair was an untidy cap, a feather pixie cut in need of a trim. “Righto, it’s my turn. I’m Ellie Lawrence. I work with Jasmine. She mentioned this trip to me and I thought it sounded interesting. I needed to shake my life up a bit … and so, here I am.”
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