"How dare you talk to me that way?" Alexa shot back, her eyes flashing. "At least I'm not some uptight prude who doesn't know what sex is." A violent crash of thunder punctuated Alexa's statement. "I mean, how many times have you even kissed a boy?" she challenged, staring Holly down.
Holly brushed her wet bangs off her forehead. Her hands were shaking. The question cut her to the quick, but she couldn't let Alexa see her cry again. Besides, Holly thought, since when does Alexa care about what I do with boys? Since when does she care about me, period?
"It's none of your business," Holly spoke quietly. "And you don't know everything about me, Alexa. Things have happened in my life since I was twelve."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Alexa asked, wiping drops of rain out of her eyes. The storm was letting up, slowing down to a drizzle.
"Since I was twelve," Holly repeated, louder this
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time. Holly felt her pent-up resentment toward Alexa, which had simmered for so many years now, finally boil over. "You know, back when we stopped being friends?" Holly went on, her voice quavering. "When you decided to drop me?"
Alexa bit her lip, ignoring a surge of guilt. "I didn't drop you," she snapped. "We grew apart, Holly. It happens. Deal with it." She tucked her wet hair behind her ears, suddenly worried that they were heading toward dangerous territory.
"Oh, right. We 'grew apart.'" Holly made air quotes with her fingers. "That's code for you deciding I wasn't cool enough to be your friend." Holly was on a roll now, her memories resurfacing in a torrent. "Did you conveniently forget everything, Alexa? Like the time in seventh grade when I came to your house, and you told me to go home because you were making out with Eliot Johnson? Or when I called you for a straight week and you never called me back?" Holly crossed her arms over her chest. "You'd already dumped me by then, Alexa. I just didn't realize it." She let out a big breath, feeling drained and shaky.
Alexa stood still, the drizzle drumming on her face and arms. Now that Holly brought it up, Alexa did remember that time -- Holly showing up unannounced on Alexa's doorstep, wanting to bake cookies, right when Alexa had been about to get to
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second base with Eliot. Alexa had promptly sent her away and had also ignored Holly's numerous phone calls the following week; she'd simply been too busy with Eliot.
Alexa thought about how Portia and the girls gave her shit when she ignored them in favor of her boyfriends. Alexa wondered, not for the first time, if she was a bad friend. She swallowed the lump in her throat.
"I'm sorry, okay? But that was forever ago," Alexa told Holly, collecting herself. "And it's not like I set out to hurt your feelings," she added defensively. "Not then, and not now. I'd never have kissed Diego if--"
"You kissed him?" Holly asked, her chin trembling. She'd been secretly hoping that Diego and Alexa hadn't gotten that far in the cabana. Holly shook her head. Diego was supposed to kiss her that night. Where had it all gone wrong?
"Yes," Alexa said. "But if I'd known that you two were together -- "
"We're not together, " Holly said with a sob. It was true; she had no real claim on Diego. Was I just being stupid this whole time? Holly wondered. I actually-believed we had something. That morning's bike ride had literally been nothing more than two old friends catching up. She and Diego didn't have chemistry anymore; all they had in common was one week, three
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years ago. Holly didn't even know for sure if Diego remembered their kiss.
The rain had stopped and the clouds began to part. Being out here on a beach, with the moon suddenly shining overhead, Holly was reminded of that long-ago night with Diego. It had been such a perfect memory, but now it was forever tarnished. Holly felt fresh tears spring to her eyes.
Alexa's cheeks were very pink. "You're not seeing him?" she asked, realizing with mounting regret that she should have given Diego a chance to explain himself. She watched in disbelief as Holly shook her head and dissolved into tears. Had Holly thrown a hissy fit because she had some stupid crush on Diego? Suddenly, Alexa understood with utmost clarity how different she and Holly were. This whole fight had been pointless. Alexa wondered why she was even wasting her time out here with such nonsense.
"You were hoping the two of you would get together, right?" Alexa murmured, sizing Holly up. "Classic, Holly. Absolutely classic. You were the same in grade school. Did you conveniently forget that?" Alexa asked, her voice cold. "Getting all excited because, say, some boy you were obsessed with smiled at you in gym class. Remember?" Holly had always been the master of making something out of nothing.
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"Why are you bringing that up?" Holly asked through her tears. "That's not the point -- "
"You dredged up grade school, too, Holly," Alexa said softly, wanting her words to hit their mark. "And you know what? I guess I did drop you. Because, face it, Holly: You were nothing but a baby then. And you're nothing but a baby now."
Holly put her hands to her cheeks, startled by Alexa's brutal honesty. She had no idea how to retaliate. Alexa had struck the core of Holly's deepest insecurity. She was still the same person she'd been in elementary school: Shy and awkward. Needing her parents' approval. And terrified of everything -- especially boys.
When Alexa saw the raw hurt register in Holly's eyes, she felt a wave of regret. But Alexa wasn't one to take back her words. She had accomplished what she'd intended. The fight was over. There was nothing more to say.
Alexa sighed and turned away. Her shoes dangling from her hand, she headed toward the hotel, wishing she had driven to the Delano that night. The hotel was within walking distance from the Flamingo, but Alexa wanted to be back in her motel room now. In her bed, under the sheets, dreaming this entire night away.
Holly watched Alexa go, then sank down on the
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wet sand. She knew her new dress was getting ruined, but she didn't care. She listened as the ocean, much calmer now, broke against the shore. And she stayed that way for a long time, Alexa's words echoing in her head.
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CHAPTER ELEVEN
Girl Goes Wild
When Holly returned to the Flamingo that night, she knocked on Kaitlin's and Daisy's door. A bleary-eyed Kaitlin let her in, and told Holly she could crash in Daisy's mysteriously empty bed. Kaitlin offered no further explanation, but Holly was grateful just to change into a clean pair of Kaitlin's PJs and crawl under the covers.
But sleep wouldn't come. Holly tossed and turned, replaying the evening's events in her head. She finally drifted off after daybreak, only to be awakened a few hours later by Daisy creeping back into the room. Daisy assured Holly it was fine to stay in her bed, but by then Holly was sitting up and stretching. Daisy perched on the dresser, and Kaitlin stirred in the next bed.
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Holly expected to feel achy and cotton-mouthed after getting such little sleep. Instead, adrenaline was racing through her body. She felt like she could run a marathon. Waking up in an unfamiliar room, wearing borrowed pajamas, was oddly liberating. Holly swung her legs off the bed, ready to begin her day. Last night suddenly seemed far away.
"Why didn't you sleep in your room?" Daisy asked, looking at Holly with unabashed curiosity.
"Yeah, why?" Kaitlin echoed, climbing out of bed. "Did Alexa bring Thomas over?" she added, a note of bitterness in her voice.
"Doesn't she wish," Holly cracked, and Kaitlin and Daisy burst into giggles.
Where did that come from? Holly wondered. First of all, it wasn't true -- Alexa didn't seem to have a thing for Thomas. And Holly rarely made sarcastic comments. But she felt pleasantly reckless this morning, and surprisingly comfortable hanging with Daisy and Kaitlin.
"Nah," Holly went on. "Alexa got all psycho on me last night, so I needed to escape." Again, Holly's choice of words and tone of voice felt unfamiliar to her own ears. In a good way.
"Ooh." Daisy grinned, raising her eyebrows. "Cat fight?"
Holly remembered how furio
us she'd been at
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Alexa last night. Maybe it would have felt invigorating to give those silky blonde locks a good yank.
"Not yet," Holly replied, a wicked grin spreading across her face.
"Holly, you are such a badass!" Kaitlin exclaimed, pulling up the window shade.
"Who knew?" Daisy teased her, which annoyed Holly. She was fed up with everyone thinking she was an angel.
"So where were you last night?" Holly asked Daisy, wanting to take the focus off herself.
Daisy's cheeks colored, and she ducked her head.
"Oh, come on," Kaitlin urged, shooting Daisy a glare. "Stop with the false modesty."
"It's not that," Daisy protested. "We're keeping it on the down low Jonathan doesn't want " She gasped and put a hand to her mouth, realizing she'd given herself away.
"Jonathan?" Holly repeated. She wasn't too surprised; Daisy and Jonathan had kissed that first night at Ohio's, and were always being flirty with each other. "But wait. You stayed over in his room? What about Thomas and Aaron?" Holly wondered aloud.
Daisy blushed even deeper. "Oh, we went somewhere else...." She trailed off, swinging her legs.
Holly started to blush, too. She couldn't even begin to guess where Daisy and Jonathan had gone, or
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imagine what they had done. Why am I so naive? Holly thought, frustrated.
"Suffice it to say I need to catch up on my sleep today" Daisy said with a yawn. "Jonathan's taking me to Sushi Samba for dinner, so it'll probably be another late night."
"Poor you." Kaitlin rolled her eyes. "Who cares about sleep when you're getting action on a regular basis? Of course, I'm basically living in a convent so I wouldn't know."
Holly looked thoughtfully from Kaitlin to Daisy. She wondered if that issue was a recurring motif in their friendship -- cute-but-chubby Kaitlin constantly overlooked by boys, while petite, pretty Daisy got all the attention. Holly's heart went out to Kaitlin; she could relate.
"Hey, Kaitlin," Holly said, suddenly inspired. "If you don't have plans tonight, would you be up for checking out a new club?"
"Which one?" Kaitlin asked sourly, plopping back down on her bed.
"Yacht," Holly said, standing and picking her black bag up off the floor. She'd been hoping to use the free passes with Diego last night. Oh, the irony.
"Yacht? Please," Kaitlin said with a sigh. "The bouncers would never let me in. And the cover's supposed to be really high."
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"Not if you can get in for free," Holly said. She walked over to Kaitlin's bed and handed her the two still-damp passes.
"You are kidding!" Kaitlin squealed, beaming at Holly. She bounced up and gave Holly a quick hug, while Daisy, announcing she was jealous, flounced off to take a shower.
"Listen," Kaitlin said to Holly. "Do you still not have a fake ID?"
Holly shook her head. "But that shouldn't matter," she said. "I mean, with the passes ---"
"Whatever," Kaitlin cut her off. "This is a crisis situation. Go shower and change," Kaitlin commanded, pointing to the door. "We've got a busy day ahead of us."
"Uh, okay," Holly said, realizing she needed clean clothes from the room across the hall. Which would mean confronting Alexa. Hurriedly, Holly asked Kaitlin if she wouldn't mind popping into Number 7 to retrieve some of Holly's stuff. Sending a go-between was a bit immature, Holly knew, but anything was better than facing Alexa again.
Kaitlin didn't seem to mind. But before she headed out the door, she turned to Holly again.
"What were you going to wear tonight?" Kaitlin asked. "I'll bring it in."
"Well ..." Holly's new dress was gross and
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muddy not to mention stained with bad memories. "Maybe, like, a tank and jeans?"
Kaitlin shook her head. "The bouncers at a place like Yacht will never let you in if you're wearing jeans! Girl, we are going shopping. Let me teach you what spring break is all about. Repeat after me: tube tops, tube tops, tube tops ..."
"Tube tops ..." Holly echoed as Kaitlin nodded approvingly. Holly couldn't help but think with a twinge of irritation that she'd traded in one Little Miss Bossy for another.
After hitting up Place Vendome for clothes, and securing Holly with a fake ID, Kaitlin, Daisy, and Holly treated themselves to lunch at the Front Porch Café. When the bill arrived, Holly opened her wallet and her stomach sank. The shopping that afternoon had eaten up more of her money, and now she was practically broke. How was she going to pay for her Flamingo stay at the week's end? As Holly reluctantly forked over her share of the bill, the solution came to her: Grandma Ida. Holly's grandmother would gladly lend her cash, especially for the Flamingo. Holly could repay the loan once she was back in New Jersey.
They walked out of the restaurant, and Holly told the girls she needed to make a call. They agreed to meet up at the motel later, and Kaitlin and Daisy
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headed off for their daily dose of beach dozing. Holly stood in front of the Penguin Hotel, taking her cell phone out of her tote.
When Holly turned on her cell, she saw, to her surprise, that she had three new voice messages. One was probably her parents' from last night, but who else had called since then?
Hesitantly, Holly punched the button for the first message and held the phone to her ear.
"Holly Rebecca." Her mother's voice sounded clipped. Holly could hear her parents' TV blaring in the background. "It's ten fifteen on Monday night and your father and I need to speak to you. We've phoned Grandma Ida but she tells us you're out. Call us back immediately."
Holly felt a pang of fear. This was serious. Something worse than the fender bender. But what? Did her parents know about the Flamingo?
Her stomach in knots, Holly went on to the next message.
"Cookie dough, it's me." Grandma Ida, sounding oddly wired. "It's -- what time is it, Miles? ten thirty. On Monday night." Holly heard Grandma Ida's TV in the background, also on at full volume. "Bubeleh, Miles and I just saw you on television! You're a star!"
Holly gasped. The bikini contest! It had aired last
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night at ten o'clock. Holly had been too busy dealing with her own untelevised drama to even think of the spring break special. But why had her grandmother been watching Pulse?
"The only problem is, your parents saw you, too," Grandma Ida was saying worriedly. "They called and told me to turn on the program. And ... ah ... I don't think they were very happy"
Holly stood stock-still, her heart hammering. This had to be a joke. Her parents had seen the bikini contest? What were the chances?
"You should call them back," Grandma Ida added. "But it will be fine, my dear. I'm so proud of you! I thought you were shapely, but who knew you had such a body on you? What, Miles? Holly, pudding, I have to go, but call me back " The voice mail system cut her off.
No no no no, Holly thought as she walked quickly down Ocean Drive, the phone pressed to her clammy ear. Her parents were going to flip out on her. She could already hear their hysterical voices: "What were you thinking, prancing around half-naked?"; "Do you know that easily a million people must have seen you?"; "Aren't you ashamed of yourself?"
Holly felt like she might throw up. The situation was so typical. Just when she had done something
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completely unlike herself -- while feeling completely sexy in the process -- her parents came along to burst her bubble of self-esteem. Calling them back was going to royally suck.
Suddenly, Holly wished that Alexa were there; cool, quick-thinking Alexa would know how to handle this mess. Then, as Holly stopped on the corner outside the Versace Mansion, she shook her head. After last night, Alexa was history.
Holly punched the button on her cell and steeled herself for the next and final message, anticipating her mother's voice again. Instead, a boy spoke into her ear, giving Holly a mini heart attack.
"Holly ... it's Diego. Hi. It's Tuesday morning. Listen, I know last n
ight was weird." He took a deep breath, sounding much less smooth than usual. "I wanted to apologize for whatever I did wrong. Give me a call, okay? And, um, is your friend Alexa still mad at me? Okay. Bye."
Ugh. Holly rolled her eyes. For someone Princeton-bound, it seemed Diego could be extremely dense. His genuinely bewildered voice infuriated Holly, and his question about Alexa was the icing on the goddamn cake. But his message also confirmed Holly's epiphany from the night before: Diego had never wanted anything more than friendship with her. And, Holly
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realized with a pang, he must have really liked Alexa. Maybe it hadn't even been Alexa who'd initiated their hook-up.
Everything was converging on Holly: Diego. Alexa. Her parents. Holly wasn't equipped to handle this insanity. She'd never before had so much going on at once in her life.
Meghan, Holly thought, filled with sudden comfort. She couldn't believe she'd gone this long without talking to her best friend. Meghan would set Holly straight again. Holly opened her phone and punched "2" for Meghan's cell. After several rings, Meghan answered.
"Oh, Holly, I'm so glad you called!" Meghan cried over a loud din. "But you'll have to shout, okay? Jess and I are in line for the Pirates of the Caribbean ride, and it's nuts."
"We miss you, Holly!" Jess hollered in the background. Holly heard little kids yelping and tinny music blasting over a loudspeaker.
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