Lady Hornstein pulled her eyes from her daughter. “You told her?”
He shook his head. “She witnessed it, I believe. She didn’t go into details and I didn’t force it from her, but she knows.”
Her mother shivered, but whether it was with rage or pain he didn’t know. Her lips trembled and she placed a hand on her chest. “She won’t be easily won… and I can’t say I’ve been of much help in that aspect. I never told her about Luke. It was the line I dare not cross, but… I might have told her not to trust men.”
“Do you trust me?” he asked.
She stiffened. “I heard about Miss Annie Cox. Lady Van Dero told me.”
Will readied himself to warn this woman against getting in his way, but she spoke before he could.
“I won’t come between you and my daughter.” She swallowed and looked away. “Camilla must make her own choices.
Lady Van Dero also told me other things about you. She said you’ve protected more than a few of her friends. You also saved a maid from a terrible offense last evening.” She shook her head. “Perhaps Luke would have stepped in to save the girl, but I doubt Camilla’s father would have dared say a word to Lord Northborough.”
She gave him a sad look. “He’d have looked the other way. The friendship would have been worth more than a maid’s peace of mind. I know, because he was always that way. Ambition was more important than honor, but I thought him so clever and handsome that I…”
“You excused his nature.”
“I loved him,” Lady Hornstein said. “I saw his faults, but I loved him anyway. I didn’t know until later that Miss Julia Walker had been there first. She’d always been there. Those first few years, I’d have done anything to win him. I’d have given him anything. I almost did…” She turned away.
Will didn’t know what she meant but didn’t ask. He understood she was trying to help Camilla and seemed to think Will good enough.
That was encouraging. He’d been certain the situation with Annie would have had the woman pushing him out the door. What had Milly said? When had any of this been discussed? From what he knew, Milly and Lady Hornstein had only met that once a little over a week ago.
“I’m sure Lord Hornstein was different back then,” he said.
“Yes. He was better at hiding who he was.” She chuckled. “I blamed myself for chasing him away, but I realize that love is not so easy. Camilla and Luke still love me, even in spite of all I’ve done and said.”
“Children love differently. At least, that is what I hear.”
She nodded. “Yes. Children love right. They forgive easier and are more willing to move past mistakes.” She looked Will directly in the eyes. “They don’t give up. Not easily.”
He understood and had no plans on giving up Camilla to anyone, including herself. If in the end, she decided she’d not have him, she would still have him. His heart was hers.
“I live for them,” she said. “I may not act like it all the time, but I do.”
“I’m sure they appreciate it,” he said.
She smiled softly. “Are you not going to judge me?”
“I’m hardly worthy to judge anyone, much less a parent.”
She nodded. “Oh, yes. You lost a son. I recall that now. Camilla must see the good in you.”
“She sees things I find hard to believe. She believes in me.” She was like Milly in that nature. She was ready to defend him, even if he was the only person who needed to hear it.
Especially when he needed to hear it.
She was his champion.
He looked toward his small champion and then narrowed his eyes on her face. Had her eyes been open? He stared her a moment longer and then decided he’d simply been seeing things. The room wasn’t very bright. “I should go.”
“Good evening, Lord Sencio.”
“You can call me Will.”
She nodded. “You may call me Lady Francine.”
He bowed and left.
* * *
Camilla woke with sunlight in her eyes. Still drowsy, she blinked and then frowned when nothing in her vision made sense.
There was white everywhere and then her gaze focused.
She gasped and sat up.
Flowers.
There were hundreds upon hundreds of blooms in her room, and they were all white buttercups. The petals were unique in the way they fell back before bending in. She touched one of them and found it to be soft.
She knew where they’d come from even before she read Will’s note.
I imagined kissing you awake this morning, but there’s time for that later.
For now, enjoy the flowers.
All my love, William.
She sighed around her heavy heart and closed her eyes.
She did have feelings for him. Now that the other day had passed and agony wasn’t so fresh, she could think more clearly. The pain of her father and brother’s betrayal were still there, but there was also something else.
She giggled as she thought it could actually be love.
She looked at her book and her heart fluttered with longing.
She wanted to write but knew she wasn’t ready. The book was still far too tainted with the memories of yesterday to touch.
She got up and dressed for breakfast. She hoped she’d see her mother.
She’d heard everything the marchioness had shared with Will the other night. She’d been awake, though neither had noticed. Again, she’d heard certainty in Will’s voice, which had surprised her but not more than the story her mother had shared.
It seemed that her memories of her father were flawed. He’d always been selfish. Her mother had simply loved him through it. It was likely the marchioness never thought her world would come to the bleak state it was currently in.
She’d thought her parents’ marriage arranged but apparently not. Her mother had been in love, and her father had likely married her for his own ambitions.
She felt a great deal of sadness for her mother.
She’d known exactly what the marchioness meant when she’d said, “I would have given him anything. I almost did…” Francine had almost given up her life.
She’d threatened to kill herself.
Camilla remembered seeing her mother with the knife and watching her cut her wrist. She remembered the blankness in her father’s eyes as her blood had dripped to the floor.
Camilla had screamed in her head for someone to do something and for her father to care enough to stop her. Even as a child, Camilla had seemed to understand that blood equaled life and the more that left her mother...
Eventually, her father had a servant send for the doctor and another wrap his wife’s wrist.
Then he’d left. One of his boots had stepped in the blood and trailed it behind him. The scene had been horrific and cruel.
She understood her mother’s despair and how a woman could make such a decision. With Francine dead, he’d have been free to marry Julia, a woman without connections but with enough charm to hold her father’s heart.
Her mother only lived now for her and Luke.
For once, Camilla was compelled to seek her mother out.
She did find her at breakfast, but the presence of the other guests was troubling. Not only was her father there, but so were Luke and Emily. They all watched her quietly.
She started to leave but then stopped when she saw the relief that washed over Emily’s features. The table had been awkward for some time, Camilla supposed. She hadn’t even heard conversation from the hall upon her arrival.
“Camilla,” her mother called. “Come join us.”
Camilla didn’t move. She didn’t understand what was going on. They’d never sat like this before. Emily had never been with her family for breakfast and the four of them had not had a real family meal in… years.
She looked between her father and brother. Her father’s usual charming smile held some hesitation. Luke didn’t bother to try and cover the plea in his eyes. “I’m not hungry
.”
“Then just sit with us,” her mother encouraged, which shocked Camilla.
The last time her father had been at the table, the marchioness had wanted nothing more than to see him gone. Now Camilla felt the same, but she couldn’t ask her father or brother to leave. This wasn’t her house.
She had no control over anything that happened to her.
Her distaste for men rose.
Why had Luke come? Did he think seeing him with Emily would mean anything to Camilla? He was a fraud. She could barely look at him.
She lowered her gaze and moved to sit by her mother.
∫ ∫ ∫
4 1
* * *
As soon as Camilla was seated, she asked her mother, “How are you?” It was beginning to feel like Camilla could only count on her mother, which wasn’t a great comfort when she thought of their checkered past.
But she did want to know if her mother was all right. The marchioness didn’t look pleased by her company but neither did she appear disturbed at all.
“I’m well, Camilla.” Her mother’s smile showed kindness. In a lower voice, she asked, “How did you sleep?”
Camilla felt a flash of heat cover her face and throat. Her mother had caught Will in her room. Had she said anything to her father about it? “Better than I expected.”
“Camilla,” her father called. “How goes your book?”
She couldn’t determine if the question was genuine or a reminder of the freedom he allowed her. Either way, she found herself answering truthfully. “I’ve put it aside for the time being.”
Tea was brought out and a cup was poured for her. She didn’t think she could stomach anything more.
“Really?” Emily asked. “Why?”
It took everything for Camilla not to look at Luke. From the corner of her eye, she saw him begin to sweat. “I don’t feel like it.”
Emily deflated… but only for a moment. “Perhaps you simply need to spend more time with your muse.” Emily’s eyes glittered and then she looked at Luke. “What do you think?” Her happiness made her glow. She was having one of her better mornings. Luke must have been a very attentive husband yesterday.
Luke met his wife’s eyes and covered the hand she had resting on the table. “I think you might be right, my love.”
Emily’s smile grew.
Camilla had to work to keep her tea down. She found the little performance disgusting. She didn’t need Luke to impress her or prove his love for his wife. She just needed him to do it. This… display of tenderness only showed her how great a pretender he was.
She stood. “I’m not feeling well.”
“Sit down.” The command came from her father.
Camilla fell back down into her seat.
Her father smiled. “The duchess seemed very fond of your writing. I’m sure she’d hate to hear that you’ve given it up.”
Camilla stared at him and then she laughed. She couldn’t help it. Yesterday, he was taking the book away. Now, he was forcing her to write.
“What’s so funny?” her father drawled.
She shook her head and pulled in a breath. “I’m sure the duchess will understand if I—”
Her father put his cup down roughly. “I would rather we not disappoint the duke and duchess. Do whatever it is you must in order to finish the book.”
“Or do whatever makes you happy,” her mother said. Her words went directly against what her father just said. She didn’t even bother to look at him.
Camilla did, however.
Her father had his mouth pinched, but otherwise…
There was something going on at the table, and Camilla felt greatly apart from it. It was like everyone was playing some game and instead of telling her the rules, she was left to guess at them.
The only other person who seemed to be as clueless as her was Emily, and actually, Emily was in a far worse position than Camilla.
“May I be excused?” Camilla asked her mother.
“Yes,” the marchioness shouted over her father’s protest.
The marquess went quiet and his jaw tensed, but otherwise, there was no other indication of his unhappiness.
And Camilla didn’t care for his happiness at the moment.
She stood and left.
Luke caught her in the hallway. He took her hand. “Have you made a decision? Are you going to tell Emily?” Before she could utter a word, he said, “You can’t tell her, Camilla. It would destroy her. You’d be responsible for that.”
She snatched her hand back. Every time pain erupted in her chest, she wondered if it would be the last time before her heart finally gave out.
He grabbed her shoulders. “Swear to me you won’t.”
“I can’t swear that, Luke.”
The words wounded him just as much as they’d hurt to say.
“I can’t swear it,” she said. “I don’t want to, but I don’t know…”
He tossed his hands up. “If you don’t want to then simply promise you won’t.”
“I would rather not make such a hasty promise. I don’t like breaking them.”
She hadn’t spoken her words as an attack, but Luke was jolted by them, nonetheless.
He’d made promises to Emily just like their father had to their mother. And now those promises were meaningless. Promises were just words in the end.
Luke looked away and his brows pinched before he turned back to her. “Could you at least consider forgiving me? Surely…” He sighed. “Surely, if this all goes terribly between Emily and me, you won’t abandon me.”
Camilla studied her brother’s eyes. She was more skeptical, she realized. She looked for any sign of manipulation in his gaze but found nothing but a strong need for comfort.
Did he really love her or was he working another angle to get her vow of silence? She didn’t know, but she decided there was no harm in telling him the truth. “I will always love you, Luke. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be so disappointed.”
He hung his head and couldn’t meet her eyes. “Camilla, you wound me. You always looked up to me, but now...”
She took his hand. “You should tell Emily.”
His eyes widened. “Camilla, I can’t.” He shook his head. “I can’t lose her. She’ll always be my wife, but there are other ways to lose someone.”
She knew exactly what he meant. She simply didn’t understand why he would risk it. Why would he risk his happiness for…?
She tried to recall his words.
“Camilla, it’s not what you think. I have needs. Emily is… sweet, but... you’d never understand. She’s a lady. I must handle her differently than other more experienced women...”
It sounded silly, but what did Camilla know? Was it some sort of lesson lords passed down to their songs? Was there a set of bedchamber acts for ladies and then another for experienced women?
Camilla would never know until she was engaged. Only then would someone explain to her just what happened between a man and a woman behind closed doors.
“Does Daisy have something Emily doesn’t?” The question was genuine.
Luke narrowed his eyes and then shook his head. “No. All women are designed the same… mostly.”
Mostly?
Her cheeks heated. “Well.. if we’re all the same…”
Luke rubbed her arm. “It’s all right, Camilla. If you tell Emily… I’ll forgive you. I’m just… I’m so sorry you saw that. I’m sorry I ruined something between us and something in you.”
“You haven’t ruined anything in me.”
He lifted a brow. “You tossed your book out on the street and now you don’t feel like writing. I caused that. Tell the truth.”
She couldn’t deny it. “I’ll want to write again.” She’d felt a small urge that morning, but he was gone now. “It’s just…”
“I know.”
“We’ll find our way,” she promised. “It just might take time.”
He took her hand and pressed it to his chest. He
smiled. “Thank you, Camilla.”
She returned his smile. She was glad he’d come to breakfast. She was glad their father hadn’t completely corrupted him. There was still some notion of right and wrong within Luke. He simply had to find his way. “I wouldn’t spend so much time with Father if I were you.”
Luke grimaced. “He introduced me to Daisy.”
Camilla glared.
Luke rushed on. “I don’t blame him. It was still my choice to… betray Emily. I never should have started. I try to avoid him, but… he’s our father.”
“I know.” Camilla felt that burning desire for a father, but now she knew the desire wasn’t for Lord Hornstein. It was simply for someone who cared.
She’d never get a chance to be born into another family with a different father, but she could find love.
Or she could let the love that had found her in.
∫ ∫ ∫
4 2
* * *
Will rushed into the drawing room.
Camilla stood as he entered. “Can we get out of here?”
“Where do you want to go?” He’d take her anywhere. He was more than glad to see her. Her presence was as unexpected as the smile that climbed her face.
He was across the room in one second. He was touching her in the next. He ran his fingers down her cheek. Her arms went around his neck, and he dipped his head.
Everything from her lips to the gentle stroke of her fingers was the softest he’d ever experienced and the most curious.
He pulled away first but only because he had to know, “What put that smile on your face?” If it was his goal to keep her happy, he would need to know what such a feat required. He aimed to conquer her fears and like any good soldier, he had to learn the lay of the land before he attacked.
She was still smiling when she shook her head. “Just you. Seeing you makes me smile.”
He tightened his arms around her and pulled her close. “Well, there is a way to ensure you see me almost every day.”
She fluttered her lashes. “Oh? And what way is this?” Her smile said she knew the answer.
“You could marry me.”
The Exception of an Earl Page 21
