“I can smell it.” He held her eyes even after the basket was in his hand. “How did you know? Did one of my mates tell you?”
“That you like pudding? Anyone who has watched you at a party knows you like pudding.”
His expression shifted, even as their gazes remained tangled. “You’ve been watching me, Lady Madison?”
Her body’s response came out of nowhere. Heat blazed across Madison’s skin, scalding her and making her cheeks hot. No man had ever spoken in such a dark tone to her. It matched the worldly knowledge that rested in his eyes.
She said nothing. She could barely think. Her heart raced.
He smirked and then smiled. “Thank you.”
She twisted her lips and then said, “Well, I hope it makes you feel better.”
“You have made me feel better.” Then he lowered his mouth and whispered in her ear, “I shall think of you with every bite.”
The moment he pulled away, she turned and ran. His laugh trailed behind her.
His laugh. She’d not heard it in so long.
A few feet away, she turned back, because she had to witness it for herself. He was still smiling. Still watching her. And Madison knew her life was changed forever.
One minute, they’d just been acquaintances and in the next… so much more.
They’d fallen in love overnight and almost half a year later, nothing had changed. Yet recently, she could feel him slipping away. She didn’t understand it, especially with just how physical they’d become.
She thought his distance had to do with the fact that she didn’t want to hide their relationship anymore and hadn’t wanted to for months. But he was a student of her father’s and wanted to finish school before they moved forward.
“I’ll not have them tarnish me or your father’s name by implying he gave me academic favors for your hand.”
And she knew he was right. She trusted him. Oxford talked and the gossips said that he no longer went to the brothels. He no longer saw his friends as much either, but they didn’t know where Lord Arland was going.
He was coming to her. She’d given him her heart and body. And from that, they’d created life. That was why she here, to tell him everything before he left.
∫ ∫ ∫
CHAPTER 02
“I’m with child,” Madison whispered. She held his eyes and watched his reaction.
Shock came first. Then he was out of his seat and his face shifted to complete happiness. He sat back down and cupped her face. “Maddie, are you sure?”
“I’m sure. I’ve not bled since we met..”
He wrinkled his nose at that.
She laughed. She always felt safe in telling him anything. “Also, my breasts—”
“Are larger. I’ve noticed,” he growled, staring down at her chest.
She blushed. “I was going to say tender, but…”
He bent his head and kissed her between his words. “Maddie, this makes me so happy. I love you. I’m going to ask your father for your hand, and we’ll marry just as soon as I return.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck and moved closer. Carrying the baby had also had other effects on her. She wanted him all the time and his only complaint about it had been that they were rarely in a place they could be alone.
They’d had sex at routs and the gatherings of their friends. They’d often slip away, one before the other, and meet in a bedchamber. She was starving for him now.
Madison crawled onto Judd’s lap, and he groaned before setting her back on the couch.
“I can’t,” he sighed. “I have no time.”
“We can be quick.” She was not above begging.
He groaned and kissed her right before he pulled away and smiled at her, a sweet expression on his face. “I can’t wait to marry you. Then I can have you with me always and we never have to leave the house.”
She curled her fingers into his hair. “I want nothing more than that.”
His grin was lusty. “Our friends would despise us. Hivers already hates the way you take up all the time I used to give to him, even if he doesn’t know you’re the one who is getting it.” Some guilt flashed in his gaze. He hadn’t told his dearest friend about her, and she’d kept the truth from her own friends as well.
She chuckled. “The Earl of Hivers and everyone else will have to get used to missing your company because I plan to be a very greedy wife.”
He captured her face in his hands and stared at her. She couldn’t read his expression completely. There was tenderness but also something else. Worry. “I love you so much, but could you do me a favor, my love?”
“Anything.”
“Don’t tell anyone about the baby until I return.”
She nodded. London was only a few days’ ride away. He’d be back before a fortnight.
He tightened his hold on the back of her head. The tenderness left his gaze. “And if I don’t return, go to Van Dero immediately. Tell no one of the baby’s existence until you get to him.”
The ugliest feeling of fear pricked its way over her skin. “Why wouldn’t you return, Judd? What is going on?”
“I’m going to ask Van Dero for help, for protection, and then all will be well.” Then he frowned. “I’ll have to give him something in exchange.” He glanced at the clock that sat on the mantle above the fireplace before turning back to her. “But you’re more important than secrets from the past. You and our child are all that matter now.”
“Judd, I’m scared. What is going on? Why do you need protection?”
He stood. “Wait there.” He moved to the other side of the room and opened a drawer in the writing desk. When he returned, he had two things in his hand. The first made her gasp.
He dropped before her and took her hand. “I was planning to give this to you after I asked your father for your hand. Madison, you are the most compassionate, beautiful woman I’ve ever met. You came into my life and took it from mildly bearable to something I would fight tooth and nail for. You brought me happiness and worth.”
She was weeping as he slipped the ring onto her finger. They were happy tears, but she was still scared.
“I love you,” he said again. Then he gave her the other thing. A key. He curled her fingers around it. “If I don’t return, that key opens a drawer to an old writing desk in the cellar.” He’d lowered his voice for this, as though fearing the servants would hear. “Everything you need to take to Van Dero is there. If I’m not back in a fortnight, take it all and go to him. Swear to me you will do this.”
“I will.”
He placed a hand on her stomach. “Swear you’ll protect our child at all costs. Protect the future Viscount of Arland.”
“Come back to me and do it yourself, Judd Lewis,” she whispered.
He smiled. “Only you have called me Judd since my father’s death. Not even Hivers calls me that anymore. You see how lenient I am with you?”
She smiled. “It’s not lenience. It’s love.”
He looked sad again. “I wish my father could have met you.” He’d said that before. “Father would have loved you just as much as I do.” He chuckled. “He’d have thought you too good for us.”
She laughed.
He kissed her. “One last thing.” He stood and walked away.
Madison kept her eyes on the flames that danced in the fireplace. She looked up at the clock. It was after midnight. Her father would have finished his reading by now and gone to bed. Had he stopped by her room?
Did it matter anymore?
Judd was leaving, and there was a chance she’d never see him again.
He stopped in front of her and handed her a note. She opened it.
It was a banknote for a great amount of money. Enough to keep her for years. It was likely most of his money.
“Why are you giving me this?” she asked.
“You’ll need some money to get to London,” he told her.
“Not this much.” And she wasn’t poor. Her family did very well. Her father only t
aught because he loved it.
He shrugged. “Take it. Just in case. It will please me knowing that I’m taking care of you.”
Though he hadn’t said it, Madison heard, “...to know I’m taking care of you even after I’m gone.”
“You’re taking my carriage home,” he said.
She didn’t fight that. She didn’t want to walk in the cold.
He helped her to stand. His hands went to her stomach again and he closed his eyes. His mouth moved, and she wondered if he were praying. Then his eyes opened, and he smiled. “Kiss me and go.”
She did, making certain that kiss said everything she needed it to.
Just in case.
∫ ∫ ∫
CHAPTER 03
A month passed and when Judd did not return, Madison believed the worst.
She’d tried to wait. After a fortnight passed, she’d assumed Van Dero had not been in London and Judd been forced to travel elsewhere to find him. But a month without word could only mean one thing.
Her parents were worried. Madison was crying all the time. She couldn’t wear black because she didn’t want her parents to think she was in mourning, but she was. Judd was gone and now her baby was all she had of him.
She had to tell her parents.
She took the ring she’d been carrying around in her pocket since he left and slipped it on her finger before she entered the drawing room. Her parents sat together. Lord and Lady Cumpterton looked equally nervous about whatever she was about to say. She’d caused them to worry. Sadly, she was about to make them worry more.
Her mother noticed the ring first, and her eyes widened. “Who gave that to you?”
Madison looked down at the large onyx stone surrounded by diamonds. She’d have preferred a simple gold band, but she’d understood Judd’s motives. He was making a statement with the jewel. He’d never intended to leave Madison, though it was exactly what he’d done.
She’d rehearsed her story over and over again, but when her father gave her a thunderous look, her mind went blank and she began to tremble.
“Madison,” he chided. “Tell us what is going on?”
“I’m married,” she lied. She’d thought it easier to simply state she was wed than reveal she was carrying the child of a man she would marry later.
“What?” Her mother stood. “To whom?”
Her father stepped forward. “Madison, has someone taken advantage of you?”
Madison smiled. Her father always thought the best of her. She’d been a good child. Her parents had always said as much. It wasn’t until recently that she’d become secretive. Falling for one of her father’s pupils had changed everything.
“No one has taken advantage of me. I’m in love, Father. And I’m carrying his child.” She moved quickly then, wanting to get everything out before her parents could ask her anything more. “He’s given me this to hold onto until he returns.” She placed a folded note in her father’s hands. There was another note upstairs. She’d taken Judd’s note to the bank and converted it into two separate notes yesterday and only when she’d known she’d had no other choice. There was a high chance that Judd wouldn’t come back.
It took great strength for her not to weep. “Once he returns, he’ll tell you everything.”
Her father held the note in his hands but kept his eyes on Madison. It was her mother who plucked it from his hands.
She gasped. “Dear, look.”
Lord Cumperton looked down. There was a flash of surprise in his eyes, but he still didn’t look pleased. A muscle jumped in his jaw. Then he lifted his gaze again.
She had her father’s eyes. A neutral blue. Her mother called it warm. The shade was darker than the sky. The hue more potent. So much so that Madison always grew nervous under his stare.
He could tell she was lying. She’d never been good at it. She’d never had a reason to learn how to perfect it before now. Her father, who taught philosophy and psychology, believed in openness. He never judged her for speaking her mind.
She knew his methods made her sort of an experiment. She supposed most parents weren't sure what they were doing. She had no idea how she’d raise the child growing inside of her. She prayed her parents were willing to help her and wouldn’t toss her out.
Or even worse, take her baby from her.
It was important that they believed her.
Her mother, who Madison had inherited her soft yet slender features from, moved closer and pressed her hand against Madison’s belly. “How…?” Tears filled her eyes.
Madison covered her mother’s hand and tried for a smile again.
“Who is the father?” Lord Cumperton asked, a menace in his gaze that she’d never seen before. “Who is this man who has married my daughter without coming to me? Who still has not come and is leaving you to deliver this news to us alone? I want his name.”
Madison swallowed. “I cannot give it until he returns.”
“Why?” her mother asked.
Her father turned and paced away.
Tears fell down Madison’s cheeks. “I don’t know, but my husband has made this request of me. So, I shall keep it until he says otherwise.” It was all she had.
Her father thundered back over to her. “Tell me his name now, Madison.”
Her voice shook. “I can’t.”
“Why?”
“Because he ask—”
“I did not raise you to be so foolish!”
She backed away. Her father had never shouted at her before. He’d never looked at her as he did now.
Her mother remained quiet, also stunned.
“Is he married to someone else?” he asked. “Have you whored yourself to a man who belongs to someone else?”
“No!” She covered her face that bloomed in heat. “I would never—”
“You’re lying. You think I don’t know when you’re hiding something? This makes no sense. I want the coward’s name right now!”
“Father, please. I can’t.”
He flung the note. It fluttered down to her feet, falling just like her hopes. “Then leave. Go to him. If you can be so easily bought then you are not the daughter I raised.”
“No.” Her mother grabbed her, clinging and weeping. “Madison, just tell us his name. Please!”
Madison began to shake. She’d been under great pressure for weeks. Fear and sadness had been warring for her attention since Judd left. Her head ached. Her heart ached. A sharp pain shot through her side, and she gasped before she fell to her knees.
“Morgan,” her mother cried, calling her husband. She never used his first name in front of anyone, but Madison had heard it whispered when they thought themselves alone.
Spots formed in Madison’s eyes and another pain shot through her. Sweat covered her. She felt hands grab her right before she fell into darkness.
She woke sometime later in her own bed. The pale pink-flowered wallpaper was a comfort. The sun had sunk with only a few rays left in the sky. Her clothes had been removed and she was in her night rail. In the blue shadows of the late evening, she made out someone sitting in the room.
The woman got up. “Stay calm. You nearly lost the baby.”
The baby.
She placed a hand on her stomach. Everything came back to her.
The stranger placed a hand on her shoulder. “Don’t worry. You’re all right.”
“Who are you?”
“Mrs. Collie. I’m a midwife. The baby is still in there. Still kicking.” She gave Madison a smile. “It’s a boy. You can trust me when I say it. I’ve never been wrong.”
Madison began to relax.
“You’re not to wear your corsets anymore,” the woman said. “And clearly you’ve been terribly anxious. In a town like this with so many young and handsome men coming and going all the time, I’ve seen many a girl like you. You must stay calm, otherwise, the child won’t survive.”
She had to stay calm. The baby was all that was left of Judd. She didn’t know how she’d
go about having her baby declared his heir, but she’d have to find a way.
She was so nervous, but she tried to stop her racing mind. Where would she go? Where would she live? She didn’t know what she was doing. “I can’t do this alone,” she whispered. The panic began to grow again. She tried to fight it, but still, it rose. “I can’t do this.” Fresh tears burned her face. “I can’t…”
“You won’t,” a strong voice said from the door.
∫ ∫ ∫
CHAPTER 04
Madison’s father stood at the door. He nodded at the nurse and Mrs. Collie left before he took her position at her side.
He looked angry, but his words were soft. “You frightened me today.” He took her hand. “Never do that again.” His lips twitched. “The nurse said I had to keep you calm, otherwise I could not only lose my grandchild but my daughter as well.”
Madison continued to weep and clung to her father. He smoothed back her hair and kissed her head. She closed her eyes as the familiar scent of peppermint filled her nose. She took a deep breath and felt her stomach relax. The tightness in her limbs loosened.
He pulled away, smiling. “I understand why you kept it from me now.” He shook his head and chuckled. “One of my best students? I would have never guessed it. And a titled gentleman as well? Your mother couldn’t be more pleased.”
Madison’s eyes widened. “How did you…?”
“He’s here. He’s come for you.”
Judd? He’d returned.
“Shall I let him in?” He looked her over and frowned. “Clearly, the deed has already been done and he’s your husband. He’s anxious to see you.” Her father left, and Madison broke into tears for a whole new reason.
Judd lived.
She heard footsteps coming down the hall and then the door opened again. Madison smiled. But then she frowned as the Earl of Hivers closed the door behind him. He tried for a smile as he crossed the room, taking the seat the nurse had previously occupied and moving it by her bed.
He sighed. “I know I’m the last face you expected to see.”
“Lord Hivers?” What was the earl doing here?
“I believe you should start calling me Matthew now.” The earl’s full name was Matthew Downs. Madison had seen it on her father’s roster when she’d been looking for Judd’s schedule to give him the basket months ago.
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