by Paul Hurst
Chapter 3:2011
In 2011, the challenge was to create a 50 word saga (50 words exactly) on a theme relating to Saint George and the dragon. The runners up and other entries are listed in alphabetical order following the winner (well done, chap!) and two examples by the performers are given at the end, together with the odd limerick that arrived a year late.
The mini sagas are reproduced as far as possible as they were written, apart from adjusting the lines where necessary. Artistic integrity has been given precedence over my inclination to tweak, ‘correct’ or adjust punctuation or spelling (ed). Apart from one mini saga that slipped on to the short list even though it didn’t have exactly 50 words, all other entries that failed to meet the one and only rule of this format have been disqualified. Fortunately, this included the ruder entries!
The winner
Hopkinson
Here are 50 words to slay your dragon
Step on its tail, Gail
Leave it on the bus, Gus
Smack it in the head, Fred
Don’t let it get free.
Extinguish its flame, James
And make it a myth, Smith.
So here it is – 50 words to slay your dragon
The short list
Mrs Adams
George is a lovely name, it looks a bit like gorgeous, and speaking of gorgeous there is George Clooney!
However I don’t think he has a dragon, but expect he has tamed a few.
Maybe Boy George saw a few dragons and probably George Best did too!
I Love George!!!
Sumeer Aggarwal
Like all stories, this story is about heroes, princesses and demons.
But like some stories, over time, who’s the villain and who’s the hero can get confused.
Is the dragon actually the hero saving the princess from a boring life with St. George?
History says otherwise but dragons are misunderstood.
Albert
St George at a challenge would never bark
Not even in ancient days, when evil dragons did lark
A fair damsel in great tribulation and awfully great distress
He would aid and save and finally totally skillfully undress
But she had precautions vital.
Totally equipped by a Saint Michael
(Later found to only be 49 words long, so unfortunately invalid)
Stephen Johnson
St. George and the dragon, the legend and man,
A story I’ll tell as best as I can,
Our hero St. George, full armour and sword,
The kings lovely daughter, which he adored,
A terrible dragon, (the daughter for lunch)
St. George pierced his heart and had him for lunch
Keith Mildon
St George’s day mistakenly thought to celebrate the birthday of a bloke that never came to England.
In reality a celebration of a famous pub that sells cheap ale and sausage and mash with gravy.
The George and Dragon Peckham.
The landlord is a saint his wife is a dragon.
Cassandra Stewart-Gillham
The Legend of St George and the Dragon, retold from the point of view of the dragon:
“Long ago there lived a poor dragon who suffered terribly from allergies.
One day, whilst trying not to burn the villagers with his sneezes, he befriended a maiden.
Unfortunately, his life was tragically cut short when he was maliciously murdered by a young boy named George who sought eternal glory.”
Other entries
Fran Adams
George who!!!
Not to sure what he did or who he is!
Is he famous? Not sure is he similar to George Michelle?
Does he have “faith, faith, faith” too?
Or famous like George Best? If so why have I not herd of him!!!
Hears to you! Happy DAY, Gaye.
Mrs Adams
George is good
George is great
George is grand
George is gorgeous
George is generous
George is gallant
George is grumpy
George is groany
George is growing
George is grouchy
George is grim
George is grimey
George is glorious
George is greedy
George is gay
George is gracious
St George!
Sir John B
Oh what a bore. Camping again. Julian George loathed the Lavant. The midges. the ghastly latrines, and those pesky dragons. But there was a maiden, she fair turned his head! Oh cripes, a dragon as well. What was one to do? Oi gorgeous, mine’s lizard, she’s saved but I’ve pulled!
Lynette Cheesman
Once upon a time, a long time ago, in a far off land. There lived a Princess in a high tower. She saw lots of things from her high tower and because her heart was pure she decided to sacrifice her self for the children. But brave George saved her.
Lauren Johnson
The story of St. George is a cool one. He dresses up in an outstanding outfit
He kills scary things called dragons. He rides around on horses which is fun
St. George had so much fun, he got all the girls, but never made it to England for more fun
Anthony Morton
St George was a Roman officer in the Praetorian Guard. He converted to Christianity and was executed by the Emperor Diocletian for refusing to renounce his faith. During the crusades he appeared to an English army, after which they won the Battle of Acre. He then became England’s Patron Saint.
Brigitte Morton
George was a Roman soldier,
a Christian who died for his faith,
virtuous, courageous and true,
he lived in Minor Asia,
but his fame grew far and wide.
Inspiring the crusaders,
Richard the Lionheart brought him home,
To England’s shores where he soon replaced
St Edward as the favourite saint.
Jan Sheader
St. George was nice guy so he didn’t really want to kill the dragon but like most men he was under the spell of a damsel in distress and as there was a shortage of meat in her village he did her bidding hoping she would agree to marry him
John T
Who is this callow youth on a hungry horse?
He’s got his eye on the gentle maiden who is my mistress and holds me by a silken tether.
I’ll show my evil side with some heavy breathing. He’s coming at me with a lance.
My mistress utters his name: George!
Miles
Long ago there lived a dragon.
This dragon terrorized the good peoples of this land.
The King he decreed that whosoever could rid this land of the dragon would become a Saint to the many lands around the world.
So a knight called George was the man bros. high five
Paul Hurst
Fifty word. FIFTY WORDS! You really expect me to tell you the whole story of St. George and the Dragon in FIFTY WORDS! You must be joking! I mean, come on now, get serious. You’re having a laugh. Oh, Okay, very well then. Distressed damsel, muscular hero, dead dragon. Sorted.
At Silene, Libya, a plague-bearing dragon eats two sheep daily, then the children. Sabra, the King’s daughter, is chosen by lottery. St George, arriving by chance, wounds the dragon. With Sabra’s girdle he placates the beast, then forces fifteen thousand inhabitants to convert, before slaying dragon with his sword, Ascalon.
And a couple of Haiku
A maid in distress
Enter St. George, our hero
A Lizard kebabbed
A warning to maids
When facing a big dragon
Best bring a spare saint
Chapter 4: 2011 Limericks
J.Britten
George, the trusty knight,
First, had a dragon to fight
Before to his lair
Could he take maiden fair
His etchings to show her all night
Simon Edmands
St. George once a dragon he slayed
As a gesture to an honourable maid
But she’s turned out so frigid
‘twas her mum got him rigid,
Still at least the old bugger get laid!
Chapter 5: 2010 – From our archives
The competition in 2010 was to come up with a Limerick relating to St. George and the Dragon. Unfortunately, the entries were not saved, but here are a few we wrote as examples, together with one of our other little efforts for the evening.
2010 Limericks
St George was a hero of old
A knight who was brave, strong and bold
He fought with a dragon
And soon fixed its wagon
At least in the story we’re told
St George was a champion, I’ve heard
Whose actions leave everyone stirred
When a dragon for lunch
Planned a maiden to munch
He killed it – and so got the bird.
If a dragon you wanted to slay
Then St George is your man, so they say
He’ll chop it up neat
From its snout to its feet
Before he would call it a day
A maiden, once chained to a pillar
Saw a dragon who was fixing to kill her
She screamed until sick
St George turned up quick
And the dragon quite quickly got ill-er
A maiden, a dragon and knight
Were involved in a bit of a fight
That is, the dragon and knight did
But the maiden, being bright, hid
And it all seemed to come out alright
If we’re going to be perfectly frank
The actions of Saint George must rank
As absolute folly -
Oi, George, you great wally,
Fight a dragon? You absolute crank!
You may think St. George had a reason
And killing the dragon hardly treason
But it’s really quite sad
He was a rotter, a cad
For the dragon was quite out of season!
If a dragon you want to make dead
You must be a bit thick in the head
If you take a sword and tin hat
You’re a bit of a prat
Bring a bazooka instead!
St George, the modern version
Paul Hurst
Imagine the setting, the time’s long ago
St George, our hero, gets ready to go.
His task it is simple, a maiden to save
The dragon to vanquish, and send to its grave.
His broadsword lies ready, and helmet and lance
Plus a longbow and quiver – he’s taking no chance
Asbestos long-johns, his limbs they attire
For when dealing with dragons, watch out for the fire
Our hero is ready, and in full armour dressed,
A call to his dogs to join in the quest
With yelping and barking they answer his shout
And soon hounds and hero all boldly set out
The journey is long, and though ‘tis hard
Anon they arrive at the lair of this lizard
The dragon is slaughtered, hurrah and hooray!
A maiden set free – St George wins the day
But now, dear friends, how would things unfold now?
Would our damsel be rescued, or turned into chow?
In our Brave New World would this tale be as great?
Let’s follow our fellow and find out his fate
He starts, as before, with a trusty big sword
But who’s this approaching with pen and clipboard?
An inspector, his tape measure holding
Chanting the mantra “Three inches and folding”
The sword is a no-no, so now he must battle
With that old army penknife he won in a raffle
And the long-johns are out; he must stick to a vest
For another inspector is sure he knows what’s best
So armed with his penknife, the journey can start
With a trip to the kennels before they depart
“Come my brave boarhounds, to the rescue we’ll go”
An inspector appears …“Oh deary me no!”,
That’s hunting with hounds, they must stay in their dog’s berth
I can’t let them out, it’s more than my job’s worth
George pleads and he argues, but it’s like hitting a wall
“You’ll go on your own, or you won’t go at all”
With road works and potholes the journey’s not pleasant
And blocked off lanes, yet no workers present
But our hero’s a Brit, and thinks ‘mustn’t grumble’
‘til he arrives at the cave, ready to rumble
Is he free to continue? Is he free – ‘like as hell’!
For yet one more inspector arrives for to tell
‘That creature’s endangered, you must cease and desist
It’s just now been put on the R.S.P.D. list’
So the maiden gets munched with George chomped just after
Not a tale told of heroes, but one of disaster
And we all soldier on, with the occasional mumble
Through stiff upper lip – ‘mustn’t grumble…’
I do hope you have enjoyed this ebook. If you would like to know more about Denbies Wine estate, please go to https://www.denbies.co.uk ,
For more about the performers go to https://www.Medieval-Jesters.com
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