‘Maybe we’re all the same,’ Bev says knowingly.
‘Shut up,’ I say. There are times when I regret telling Bev about my one night with Shelby. This is one of them. In an effort to distract her from my love life or lack of it, I ask, ‘What’s Alan wearing today?’
‘Simple Minds,’ she says. ‘So obvious and yet our hit rate is tragically poor.’
‘We need to up our game,’ I agree. ‘I’ll take Blur for tomorrow.’
Bev sucks in a breath and, after much consideration, says, ‘Kaiser Chiefs.’
‘I like it,’ I say. ‘Do you think that Alan has any T-shirts that don’t have bands on the front?’
‘No.’
I pick up the bucket at my feet. ‘What do you want to do – chickens or pigs?’
‘Pigs.’
‘Straw-surfing this afternoon,’ I tell her.
‘Fab. I can’t wait.’
So we go our separate ways. Bev to Teacup. Me to the chickens. Both of us deep in thought. Bev is probably considering her next T-shirt strategy while I, to my eternal shame, am thinking about Shelby Dacre being available.
Chapter Seventy-Two
It’s late afternoon by the time Alan and the students have cleared the barn and have dressed it with fresh hay. They’ve all worked really hard on it and we’ve had no tears or tantrums. When I walk up there with Little Dog, I can tell by the screams of delight that the straw-surfing is already in full flow.
Sure enough, as I round the corner, I can see Alan, Bev and the kids flinging themselves into the deep layer of bouncy, fresh straw. I take a run and, shouting, ‘Make way! Here I come!’ I dive in myself.
I land next to Lucas who is pink from exertion and laughing like I’ve never heard him laugh before. It’s a good sound. We lie on our backs, pretending that we’re floating in the sea and kick our legs ferociously while roaring at the roof over our heads. When we’ve finished we lie there in fits of giggles until we’re breathless. This is his inaugural straw-surf and it certainly seems as if he’s enjoying it.
‘Good fun?’ I ask.
‘The best,’ he confirms with a big grin. This is the first time that I’ve seen him look unfettered from his cares and my heart tightens with affection for him.
Lucas dives in again and goes to wrestle with one of the younger lads and soon he’s in the general tumble with everyone else. That’s good to see. He’s finally starting to loosen up enough to make friends here.
Although it would be very pleasant to lie here all afternoon, I force myself up and set about the task of picking straw out of my hair and clothing. I think I’ve even got bits of straw in my pants. As I’m sitting there looking like Worzel Gummidge’s scruffier cousin, in a gap between screams and laughter I hear someone clearing their throat. When I look up I see Shelby leaning against the side of the barn.
‘Hey,’ he says.
When I’ve recovered from the shock, I manage to find my voice and say, ‘Come on in, the straw’s lovely.’
‘I’m already acquainted with the delights of straw,’ he replies calmly, which makes me flush and also gives me a rather torrid flashback to our own tumble in the hay. ‘I might sit this one out. Even though it looks like a lot of fun.’
He glances down at his pristine clothes and I can see his point. As always, Shelby looks so handsome but, even from here, I can tell that his features are slightly drawn and there are dark shadows under his eyes. Sleepless nights or nothing more than a touch of jetlag?
Still brushing myself down, I stand up and walk over to him. Lucas, now throwing armfuls of straw over the two shrieking girls, hasn’t even noticed his father’s presence. As I assume he’s come to collect his son, I ask, ‘Do you want me to get Lucas for you?’
Shelby shakes his head. ‘No. Leave him be. I’ve been watching for a while. He looks like he’s enjoying himself. Besides, it’s you I’ve come to talk to.’
‘Oh.’ I wonder what about. ‘Shall we go down to my van for a cuppa?’
‘Sounds like an excellent idea.’ We fall into step and, out of the corner of my eye, I see Bev watching as we head back towards the yard. I give her a sign to say ‘tea’ to let her know where we’re going. Little Dog, who was happily barking at the kids, stops what he’s doing and trots after us.
Chapter Seventy-Three
Big Dog and Fifty are dozing in a sliver of shade at the door. They look up as we approach, instantly lose interest, and return to their nap. Shelby and Little Dog follow me into the caravan and, once again, I feel very aware of his presence in this small space. He sits down while I put the kettle on. Little Dog leans against his leg and Shelby risks patting him.
‘This is awkward,’ he says as I place a mug of tea in front of him, trying not to let bits of straw fall into the brew. ‘I don’t quite know where to start.’
As I perch opposite him, I brace myself for his announcement. What if he’s going to take Lucas away from us? ‘At the very beginning is usually a good place.’
Shelby pulls the tea towards him and nurses it between his fingers. ‘OK. I’ve split with Scarlett,’ he says starkly.
‘I know,’ I admit with a wince. ‘Lucas told me.’
‘Lucas?’
‘He’d seen it in a celebrity magazine online.’ What I don’t do is tell him how pleased Lucas was to hear about it. Perhaps I should say that I’m sorry to hear his news, but I’m not. Is that horrible of me? I hope that it means Shelby will be concentrating on his child from now on and not chasing around London with his arm candy.
‘He shouldn’t have had to find out like that. I should have told him myself.’ Shelby shakes his head. ‘Why do I always manage to mess up when it comes to my own son?’
‘Maybe the two of you can spend more time together now,’ I venture.
‘Yeah,’ he says, but not with the amount of enthusiasm that I’d wished for. ‘I realised that wasn’t the life for me. I’m not into celebrity parties, standing drinking warm champagne with cold people.’ He clears his throat. ‘I want to get back to something that’s … real. Does that sound too airy-fairy? I’m not expressing this very well.’
Before I can say anything else, the caravan door opens and Lucas is standing there. He too has straw in his hair. His face darkens. ‘I wondered where you’d got to.’
I feel as if I’ve been caught in the act of doing something I shouldn’t be doing and flush guiltily. ‘Your dad came to talk to me.’
‘Hello, Lucas,’ Shelby says. ‘I didn’t want to disturb you. Looked like you were having fun.’
‘It was OK,’ he says reluctantly. ‘The kids like it.’ Some straw falls out of his hair and I try not to smile. ‘I’m ready to go if you are.’
‘I wanted to have a private word with Molly, if you don’t mind,’ Shelby says. ‘I’ll be with you in a few minutes.’
I can’t imagine what else Shelby could have to say to me that couldn’t be discussed in front of Lucas yet, nevertheless, I say to him, ‘You could just do a quick round of the animals for me? Make sure everyone’s all right. If you don’t mind.’
‘Bev and Alan are already doing it,’ he says, pointedly, ‘but I know when I’m not wanted.’
‘Ten minutes,’ Shelby says. ‘Then I’m all yours. Maybe we could take in a movie tonight?’
Lucas slams the door.
Shelby throws up his hands. ‘What have I said now? Can’t I even suggest a movie without him seeing some ulterior motive?’
‘I think he feels excluded from your life. Don’t be too harsh on him. It must be tough to read about stuff that’s going on in your parent’s life that you’re not party to.’
‘You’re right,’ he says with a sigh. Then he frowns at me. ‘You seem to make a habit of being right.’
‘It certainly doesn’t feel like it.’ I put my head in my hands and Shelby reaches out to touch my arm.
‘Still no solution to your pressing problem?’
‘No,’ I admit. ‘My head hurts every time I think about it.�
�
‘I might be able to help.’ His smile is bright and there’s an uncontained note of excitement in his voice as he adds, ‘That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I know that I’ve not been around but, believe me, I haven’t forgotten. I’ve been working away in the background and there’s a piece of land that might be ideal. I’d like you to come and look at it.’
‘Are you serious?’
‘Deadly.’
I can’t quite believe what I’m hearing. At the eleventh hour, Shelby might have found us some suitable land. I want to run round the caravan and do a happy dance, but I’m too cautious for my own good. Wonderful things just don’t happen like this. ‘Is there a catch?’
‘Not as far as I’m aware. It’s quite close to here. A little smaller – not too much – which I don’t think is a bad thing as you can cut costs.’
‘Is there a benign benefactor who’s going to pay for it all?’
‘Kind of,’ he says, cagily. ‘That’s where I come in. I thought we could put on another event at the house. I know all kinds of performers. We could organise a benefit concert at short notice, I’m sure. I can always pull in some favours. Hopefully, that would raise enough money to fund the move and give you some reserves for going forward.’
My chest has tightened and I’m scared to breathe in case this all goes away. ‘I’m hearing nothing I don’t like yet.’
‘Good.’ Shelby looks pleased with himself.
In fact it all sounds too perfect. Could this really be the answers to my prayers? The miracle I’ve been hoping for? I don’t want to get my hopes up and then find that they’re about to be cruelly dashed. I should definitely wait until I see this land and know more about the costs until I let my feelings run away with me.
‘Thank you,’ I say to Shelby. ‘It’s kind of you to do this. I’m very grateful.’
‘I see what you can do here and I’d like to help. Can you come and see it tomorrow evening?’
‘Of course.’
‘I’ll text you the directions.’
We grin at each other and then the air becomes suddenly charged. I can hear my own heart beating.
‘I have an overwhelming urge to kiss you,’ Shelby tells me.
Despite feeling exactly the same, I say, ‘I don’t think that’s a good idea. Lucas might come in and I’m sure he wouldn’t be happy. He doesn’t know about … well … that.’
‘You’re probably right.’ He laughs. ‘Again!’
Shelby stands up. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow night, then.’
‘Yes. Tomorrow.’
‘Goodbye, Molly.’ And despite what we said about not kissing, his lips brush against mine and linger there for a moment too long.
He leaves the caravan and I just stand there.
I look down at Little Dog who is at my feet and wagging his tail. ‘What do you make of that?’ I ask him. But, frankly, Little Dog looks as bewildered as I am.
Chapter Seventy-Four
I don’t even need to tell you that the next day my feet have wings. I’m not sure I’ve ever done my chores so quickly or with such a lightness of spirit. Last night I hardly slept a wink, such was the excitement and hope burning inside me. Even being woken by Dick the Cock at a dastardly hour didn’t dampen my mood. When I’m feeding Anthony the Anti-Social Sheep and he tries to ouff me over the fence, I smile at him benignly and wonder whether he will like his new home. My heart is overflowing with love for all of the animals today and mankind in general. I might just have a solution to all of our problems and that couldn’t make me any happier.
‘Who’s put a smile on your face?’ Bev asks. ‘It wasn’t anything to do with the visit from a certain Mr Dacre last night?’
‘Actually, it was,’ I confide.
‘Another cheeky tumble in the hay?’
‘No, no, no. Absolutely not,’ I say, briskly. ‘That’s supposed to be a secret. The Thing We Never Mention.’
‘Ah.’
‘He might have found some land for us to move to.’ I can’t contain my joy. I was trying to keep it all locked down in case the land isn’t suitable for some reason or we can’t raise the money, but the pressure of expectation keeps building and I feel like there’s a dam waiting to burst inside me. ‘I’m going to look at it tonight with him.’
She looks at me in disbelief. ‘Blimey! Exciting.’
‘I’m trying not to get my hopes too high, but Shelby thinks it’s an ideal spot. A bit smaller than the land we’ve currently got, but not too much.’ Despite my sensible words, I want to run round the yard singing for joy.
‘I don’t suppose you want me to come with you?’ she asks hopefully.
‘I think I can manage,’ I tease. ‘Let me check it out first and then we can all go and have an inspection en masse.’ If it’s not right, I don’t think I could shoulder the burden of collective disappointment.
‘You just want Shelby Dacre to yourself,’ she whispers. ‘You little minx.’
‘This is purely business,’ I assure her, even though I can still feel his lips on mine.
‘Well, I have everything crossed that he comes up with the goods. That would take a load off your mind.’
‘Wouldn’t it just.’ Then, as we’re talking, Alan pulls up at the gate in his clattery old car.
‘Quick, quick. Pick a band. Pick a band.’ Bev says. ‘We’ve only got minutes to do it.’
‘Er … ’ I wrack my brain. ‘The Jam.’
‘Deep.’ Bev nods. ‘Very deep. I’ll have Depeche Mode.’
By which time Alan has parked and is walking towards us. When he gets nearer, we turn to each other, too stunned to speak. Eventually, Bev punches the air and shouts, ‘Yeeeeees!’ which makes Alan jump.
He eyes us both suspiciously. ‘What’s up?’
‘You beaut!’ Bev takes his face in her hands and fights her way through his bushy beard to plant a noisy, wet kiss on his cheek.
Alan looks more than a little alarmed. ‘What’s that for?’
‘Darling Alan,’ she says. ‘Every day we bet on what band T-shirt you’re going to be wearing and every day we get it wrong. This is the first time in ages that I’ve hit pay-dirt.’
He looks blankly at us.
‘It’s a big thing,’ I assure him.
Alan still looks bemused. ‘What’s the prize?’
‘Nothing,’ Bev tells him. ‘Well, cake. Mainly we do it for the glory.’
‘Oh.’ He looks even more confused now. ‘So you’ve won?’
‘Oh, yeah,’ Bev says circling her hips and arms in a victory dance.
‘I could take you out,’ Alan says. ‘For something to eat. Somewhere posh. To celebrate.’
Bev laughs at that. ‘Don’t be soft.’
‘I’d wear my best band tee.’ I’m not sure if he’s joking or not. ‘Think about it.’
‘Yeah.’ Now it’s Bev’s turn to look bemused. ‘I will.’
‘Right. I’m off to fix tractor.’ Alan wanders off in the general direction of the barn.
Bev stands rooted to the spot, staring after him. ‘Did that just happen?’
‘Flipping heck,’ I say, similarly stunned. ‘Depeche Mode got you the offer of a dinner date.’
‘Do you think I should go?’ Bev asks.
‘No. It would be too weird. It’s Alan. Our Alan.’
‘Yeah,’ she agrees, a little bit more dreamily than I had expected. ‘Though it’s the best offer I’ve had in a very long time.’
Chapter Seventy-Five
Lucas looks moody again when he arrives, but that’s probably the joy of teenage hormones. I hope so, anyway.
With a cursory ‘hello’, he stomps up to the barn where no doubt Alan will instruct him in the mysterious ways of mending tractors. I’m praying that he hasn’t had yet another row with Shelby or anything like that. I try not to worry too much about him, but you already know that I have a soft spot for Lucas and don’t like to see him unhappy. Still, he’s here and, despite one or two setbacks, I be
lieve that he continues to make progress. I don’t want to be on at him all the time, so I’ll give him some space to try and work out his issues by himself.
Bev is taking the rest of the students on a long walk today around the farm and into the surrounding countryside and maybe she can persuade Lucas to join them. They still are unaware of our impending eviction. Call me a coward, but I can’t face addressing it until I have a solution. They are, however, going to take photographs on either their phones or some borrowed cameras to make a record of Hope Farm before we are ousted. Later this afternoon they’ll help Bev to set up a Facebook page for the farm and upload the photos to them and do some basic editing – another little bit of learning disguised as fun. It pains me to think that this may be one of the last times that anyone will be able to explore this area freely and I’d love to go with them, but I have other matters to tend to. I’ve got a mountain of paperwork that I should at least try to scale. I need to order feed too. Just because we’re moving it doesn’t stop the animals from trying to eat me out of house and home. So I head back to the caravan and set to.
Before I know it, the day has slipped away from me. It’s late afternoon and the students – all happy with the photos they’ve snapped – are leaving for the day. Before I can say anything to Lucas, his car has arrived and he’s hopped in. I wonder if he’ll come along to look at the land tonight or whether Shelby hasn’t mentioned it to him at all. As I’m pondering that, a text pings in and, for one minute, I dread that it might be Shelby messaging me to cancel. But I needn’t have worried. The text confirms the address with me and ends, Look forward to seeing you later. xx
When I’ve made sure that all the animals are fed, watered and settled, I have a shower and change into the cleanest pair of jeans that I have and a flowery, floaty blouse that I think must have been my aunt’s as I don’t ever remember buying it. Though it’s not really her style either. Maybe she had it for a family wedding or something – one of her rare social outings. I even look in the mirror to see that all the buttons are done up properly and that I haven’t got them all cock-eyed. The shirt makes me think of her and I say out loud, ‘Wish me luck, Hettie! Fingers crossed this is just what we need to survive.’
Happiness for Beginners Page 26
