Lucas shakes the rain from his jacket and then stands dripping on my floor. ‘It’s tanking it down out there.’
‘I hope it’s not a day like this for the move or we’ll all be up to our eyeballs in mud.’
‘Yeah. Not long now,’ Lucas observes. ‘I’ve been packing up tools in the barn with Alan. We need to ask you some stuff. He thinks some of it needs throwing away.’
For weeks now Alan has been sorting out what we have to take with us and what we can do without. It’s been an arduous task. My natural instinct is to keep it all, just in case, but I know that realistically a lot of old tools and machines that are hanging on by the skin of their teeth need to go to farm equipment heaven.
‘Do you want to come up there and see what you think?’ Lucas asks.
‘Yes. I’ve just finished on the phone to your dad.’
‘Cool. I haven’t seen him in days,’ he says.
‘Me neither,’ I admit.
Lucas frowns. ‘I thought you two were getting it together.’
‘I think we both have other things on our mind at the moment.’ Which is the best stalling tactic I can think of.
‘So where’s he been going every night?’
‘I don’t know.’ But I do know that my stomach sinks a little bit when I hear this. Where has he been going? To make arrangements for his new life, to rekindle old flames? I don’t know and I’m not sure that I want to either.
‘The new farm will be totally cool,’ Lucas says. ‘I can’t wait to see it.’
My heart breaks a little bit more. I took Alan and Bev up there one evening so that they could help me with the planning of what and who is going to go where. I should have taken Lucas too, but there never seemed to be the right moment.
‘It’s got much better accommodation,’ I tell him. ‘We’ll have farm buildings and barns coming out of our ears.’ It’s just a shame there’s no house there as Lucas and I could be quite comfortable there. I know that Hettie and I managed in the caravan together, but it was a long way from civilised. Besides, we were two women and relatives at that. It wouldn’t be suitable for a young man. Lucas needs his own space, his own privacy.
‘Maybe we could put on a bit of a festival of our own – poetry and stuff,’ he says. ‘That would raise some more money. I could sort it out. A kind of project.’
‘I like the sound of that.’ And I do. Really, I do. I just hope that Lucas will be here to execute it.
I leave the paperwork on my table and stand up. Then I can’t help it, I put my arms round Lucas, even though he’s completely soggy, and give him a big hug. I love this boy to bits and I’ve fallen in love with his father too. ‘Whatever happens, in the future, it will all work out fine.’
‘You’re creeping me out.’ Lucas frowns at me. ‘You’re not dying, are you?’
Only a little bit inside, I think. ‘No, no. Nothing like that. It’s all a bit much. I’m just overcome with emotion. Ignore me.’
‘You’re bloody weird,’ Lucas says. ‘That’s why I like you.’ Then, in a rare and very welcome display of affection, he hugs me back.
Chapter Ninety-Four
The day of moving finally arrives and I can’t begin to tell you how I’m feeling. My head is all over the place and yet I’m trying to hold it together so that I, our students, the animals and our incumbent paraphernalia end up in the same place with minimal fuss.
I don’t even need Dick the Cock’s best efforts to rouse me from my sleep as I’m wide awake long before our vociferous cockerel is. It will be hard to leave this place as it’s been my home, my refuge for so long. Although Hettie’s been gone for a long time now, I feel as if I’m leaving her behind and that’s tough. Her ashes are scattered on this land and she’s still so much a part of this. When we move to the new farm, it will be just me, alone. I’m gripped by an unbearable sense of loss yet somewhere, floating beneath the surface, I’m almost certain that there are gossamer threads of hope. If only I could catch hold of them.
Little Dog is asleep on my chest, but there’s a crushing weight there anyway that’s not to do with my doggy companion. It’s hours before Shelby and his crew are due, but I get out of bed and put the kettle on. Shelby’s assembled a work force to help us today from his actor friends and the cast of Flinton’s Farm which is fantastic. But still I’m fretting about whether it will go well and our animals will end up there with the same amount of legs they started with – even though many of them don’t enjoy a full complement of limbs now.
We’ve chosen to do this on a Saturday as the cast don’t do any filming at the weekend. It also means that we’ll have the Sunday to try to get organised in time for the students to come back on Monday. Despite their best intentions, I think this might take twice as long as it would without them as I’ll have to focus on keeping the kids in check as well as doing my best animal herding.
I make myself tea and use up the last of the stale bread for toast. In an effort to run down supplies before the move, I’ve found myself woefully short of food – though I did manage to empty the dregs of the Corn Flakes box for last night’s supper. Most of my life is in cardboard cartons around me ready for the off and I realise how little I actually have to show for my almost forty years on earth.
There’s one box full of Hettie’s stuff that I can’t bear to part with. It’s not much, a few bits of jewellery – mostly worthless, but priceless to me in sentimental value. That’s the kind that you can’t ever replace. There’s the little clutch bag I used for the charity evening and a few scarves. On top of the pile are a handful of photographs of me as a child with her. I don’t know who took them as I don’t remember her ever having a camera. Perhaps it was my mum. I pick them up, one by one, and look at them. They’re all in colour, but it’s that greeny-yellow colour that photos were then in the days before smartphones and digital images. Photographs were expensive to take too, so there aren’t a lot of them. I’m leaning against Hettie in most of them and we look more like mother and daughter than aunt and niece. She might have been my mother’s older sister, but she was nothing like her. Thank goodness. There’s not a day goes by that I don’t think of Hettie and I wish she was here with me now – although it would break her heart to move away from Hope Farm. Just as it’s breaking mine. I put the photograph back.
When both Little Dog and I have had our breakfast, I pull on my clothes and we head out into the yard. I want to take one last look round the farm as I’m sure once Shelby and his crew arrive then mayhem will ensue and I won’t be able to find time to myself to do it.
‘Come on, boy.’ I click Little Dog to heel and he kind of obliges me. ‘Let’s go and say goodbye to our home.’
So we walk up to the fields and I give everyone their breakfast as I go. I pause at every paddock, taking time to bid adieu to my home and having one last lingering look at every view so that it’s seared into my mind.
‘We’ll be OK, won’t we?’ I say to Little Dog. He wags his tail and his odd smile widens. He looks happy enough.
I think if I had a tail, I’m not sure I’d quite manage a wag today. I just have to try and be positive about it. Any other outcome would have been unthinkable. We have somewhere wonderful to go to and I have to focus on that.
The sun is rising nicely and it looks as if we are going to have a good day for our move. To do this in a downpour or on a miserable, grey morning would be too depressing. Little Dog leans against my leg as I stand at the top of the hill and look down into the vale below. The fields, myriad soft shades of green, a hundred or more if I could count them, roll away from me into the distance. It’s so beautiful and peaceful in this spot and soon it won’t be. It’s hard to say goodbye, but I think it would be even worse to come back here and see what they’ve done to it, how shaving a few minutes off the journey North will wipe away this idyll for ever. So I’ll say my farewell and never come back here again, except in my heart.
Chapter Ninety-Five
By the time I get back to the yard Ala
n and Bev have arrived. All is going well there. I might even go as far as to say they were loved-up. If Bev’s not staying at Alan’s house, Alan is staying at Bev’s. Alan’s beard is always neatly trimmed now, his flowing grey locks held in place by a tidy man bun or a neat plait. His band T-shirts are washed and pressed, which means our gambling game has been somewhat thwarted as Bev knows what he’s going to be wearing every day – just as she predicted. Still, it’s a small price to pay for her happiness.
‘God, I bet you’re all of a dither,’ Bev says when she sees me. ‘I know I am.’
‘I’m OK,’ I say and it’s not much of a lie. I’m filled with trepidation and turmoil, but I know it’s going to turn out all right in the end. Hopefully.
‘I’ll get the truck.’ Sometimes Alan now speaks in entire sentences, but not often.
‘See you later, lover,’ Bev shouts after him. When he’s gone, she turns to me. ‘That man’s insatiable.’
I screw my nose up. ‘TMI!’
‘You’re only jealous,’ she says. ‘What time is Hot Stuff getting here?’
‘Shelby? He should be here soon.’
She puts her arm round me. ‘It will be all right, you know. You saved the farm. That’s all that matters.’
‘I still can’t believe we’ve done it.’
‘You’ve done it,’ she insists.
I smile. ‘Your belief in me is touching, but I think we should give Shelby Dacre a bit of credit. This is all down to him.’
‘Yeah. I suppose. All he needs to do now is make an honest woman of you.’
‘I don’t think that’s ever going to happen, Bev. He’ll be off to California soon and he’ll forget all about us here at Hope Farm. We’ll be a distant memory for him.’ It will be the beginning of his dream and the end of mine. He’ll find a scantily dressed young starlet, fall in love and will grace the gossip pages once more. I have to learn to live with that. It’s Lucas that I worry about. He’s done so well and I don’t want him falling between the cracks.
‘Nonsense. If he gets any notions of escaping from us, we’ll hunt him down and bring him back.’
‘That’s creepy,’ I tell her.
She puts her hand on my arm. ‘He’s done all this for you,’ she says. ‘He must care. Don’t let him go without a fight. Tell him how you feel.’
‘I’m not sure how I do feel.’
‘You love him,’ Bev says. ‘That’s how you feel.’
‘It isn’t that easy.’
‘It is. You love him. And I think he loves you. If he doesn’t, then he should.’
However, any discussion about the state of my heart or Shelby’s is curtailed as there’s a toot at the gate and the man himself has arrived.
‘He’s here,’ I say pointlessly.
‘Go and throw yourself at him,’ Bev says with a wink. ‘See how he copes with that.’
But I think that Shelby is entirely used to lovelorn women throwing themselves at his feet. Nevertheless, I head to the gate, a smile pinned on my face and get ready to embrace whatever the day brings.
There are two mini-vans filled with people waiting to be let in. I open the gate and they drive through. A moment later Shelby jumps out of the first van and comes over to me.
‘Hey,’ he says and plants a warm kiss on my cheek.
It’s only been a few weeks since I’ve seen him, but my heart leaps when I set eyes on him again. His fair hair is tousled, his blue eyes shaded by dark glasses, and his square soap-star jaw makes me go all of a quiver. I said for them all to come in working clothes, but Shelby’s turned up in a tight black T-shirt and grey jeans. I’d swear to you that they’re both designer label clothing. Well, by the end of the day they’ll both be covered in animal detritus. He does have welly boots in his hand, so I’ll give him that.
‘What are you smiling at?’ he asks.
‘Nothing. Just taking it all in.’
‘You’re feeling OK?’
‘I’ve just been through this with Bev. I’m fine. Really.’
‘I know this must be hard,’ he says. ‘I’m here for you.’
‘Thank you. It would have been a lot harder if you hadn’t offered us the fabulous place we’re going to.’
He winks at me and says, ‘My pleasure.’
‘I suppose we’d better get started then.’
‘Yeah. It’s going to be a long day. I do, however, bring you a lot of press-ganged help.’ He slides open the van door and a lot of colourfully dressed people climb out. There are one or two in sensible overalls, more than one or two in sparkly drag queen outfits and a guy who’s dressed in a top hat, green feather boa, tutu, striped tights and pink wellies. I don’t think that I’d better give him Anthony the Anti-Social Sheep to deal with.
‘Right.’ This is going to be a fun day.
Shelby spreads his hands. ‘My friends, at your disposal. Tell them your bidding and they’ll fulfil it.’
You might be surprised to learn that we do have a plan. Shelby and I knocked a spreadsheet together over our many phone calls with the hope that it would go as smoothly as possible. The animals need to go to their new homes in shifts otherwise it would be one mad scramble with chickens and sheep everywhere.
‘The students and parents that are coming to help will be here soon too.’
‘We’d better get started then.’ Shelby sounds very decisive.
I look again at the motley and very colourful crew of celebrities he’s brought with him and smile. ‘You’re right. We should.’
Chapter Ninety-Six
Chaos reigns. Of course it does. Despite being the cast of a farm-based soap and portraying farmers and country folk, it’s clear the actors have never dealt with animals before. I think that some of them may never have been in the actual countryside before.
When handling animals it’s best to keep them firmly in control rather than letting them run amok. Today we’re favouring the running-amok style. Anthony knocks three of the actors over before we even start. But, eventually, they work out how to get their hands dirty and we manage to load the animals into the truck in their allotted order. Bev and I go up with the first truckload which contains a grumpy Anthony, two bleating goats, two honking geese, three skittish alpacas and Fifty. We’re followed by a minibus full of giggly kids, unsuspecting parents and animated actors. Alan, Lucas and Shelby are to stay behind and get the next lot ready.
Bev drives and Little Dog sits on my knee looking out of the window. I am, as usual, a nervous wreck, but as Bev turns the truck into the entrance of Edward’s Farm, I feel my tension leave me. This is to be our new home and what a fine place it is. We’ll be happy here, I know we will.
Bev turns to me and smiles. ‘Good job, Molly. This is a great place.’
Alan and I have been up here in the week, working hard, so several of the pens and stables are ready for our animals and they simply have to be installed into their new home – though we still have some preparation to do. We’ve fenced off a couple of areas, but there are still paddocks that need to be secured and I’ll get a couple of the burlier-looking guys onto that. In the yard, there’s a catering truck already set up – Shelby’s idea. They’re going to supply us with tea, cake, halloumi chips and chickpea wraps throughout the day. Apparently, actors do their best work on full tummies. Given the way that they head straight for the food I’m sure Shelby must be right. Jack gets tea for everyone. The girls take lots of selfies with the actors. I’ve tasked Tamara with making a record of today and I only hope that she remembers to take more than just pictures of herself.
Bev and I unload the truck. The actors quickly learn to give Anthony a wide berth as he growls at them – probably quite wisely. So I take our troublesome ram to his new paddock, but he’s determined to be bad-tempered and unappreciative of his wonderful view. Little Dog, more easily pleased, runs round sniffing and weeing in every corner excitedly. The goats are a frisky handful when we let them out, but are quickly settled with a bit of fussing.
T
he alpacas look as if they’re trying to do a Zumba workout, prancing this way and that, and it takes more than a modicum of wrangling until we finally get them under control too. The man in the tutu proves to have quite a knack with them. Then, while I allocate jobs, Bev takes the truck back to load up again.
The animals keep coming throughout the day until the last ones arrive at their new home.
‘That’s it.’ Bev wipes her hands on her jeans. ‘Nearly all present and correct. Alan’s just got to bring a few more chickens and Dick.’
The other outstanding issue is to hook up my caravan and bring it here so that I actually have somewhere to live. I just have everything crossed that it survives the journey. ‘I won’t be long,’ I promise.
‘We can manage,’ Bev says. ‘Everyone’s still standing. Chickpea wraps clearly have magical powers.’
So I leave everyone else behind, either busy at jobs or hanging round the catering truck, and drive back to Hope Farm.
Chapter Ninety-Seven
When I get back to the farm, Alan, Shelby and Lucas are in the yard. As I climb out the cab, I try to feel upbeat, but I can’t quite manage it and sadness descends. I’d like to walk round the farm, one last time by myself – but I’ve already said my goodbyes and I don’t think that I could bear to do it again. I need to leave now without a backward glance. I don’t want to return and see what they do to this place. It would be far too heartbreaking. This is all out of my hands and I must move forward without regrets.
Shelby comes over to the truck. ‘How’s it going?’ he asks. ‘Feeling OK?’
‘Yes,’ I lie. ‘I’ve been too busy to worry about anything. Everyone seems to be settling in well at the other end. Your friends are working very hard.’ I don’t tell him that they’re eating for England too. I wouldn’t like the bill for all that halloumi.
Happiness for Beginners Page 34
