Luca paused as he got behind the wheel. “Evie?” He looked at both women through the rearview mirror.
“Lexie’s staying with us for a few nights,” Evie said, her voice firm.
Luca frowned. “I don’t know—”
“Luca, Lexie needs a place to stay. She also needs someone around who can protect her. I’m her best friend, we have a spare room, and you can protect her. So, she stays with us.” Luca opened his mouth but stopped when Evie added, “Also, we need you to keep Asher out of the house until Lexie is ready to speak to him.”
Lexie hid her smile. That was the most assertive she had ever seen her friend. The woman hadn’t so much as taken a breath. And she’d done it to protect Lexie.
Reaching out, she laced her fingers through Evie’s.
Luca sat there for another moment before grabbing his phone and shooting off a quick message. Then he started driving.
Lexie was pretty certain she knew exactly who he’d just messaged.
So was Evie. “What did you just text to Asher?” Evie asked, tone light and innocent.
Raising a brow, Luca glanced at the women through the mirror before his eyes shot back to the road. “I told him he fucked up. That Lexie is staying with us for a bit and to stay away for a while. Give her some space.”
Lexie released a long breath. She was touched that Luca would come to her aid so quickly. He might think she was just being a hormonal pregnant lady, but even if that was the case, he still didn’t hesitate to have her back.
Evie smiled as she leaned back against the seat, clearly pleased by Luca’s quick acceptance of the situation.
For the remainder of the drive, Lexie tried to keep a calm mind. Clearing out all thoughts of Asher.
But no matter how hard she tried, her mind kept drifting back to him. To his lopsided grin that made her heart gallop. His hazel eyes that crinkled in the corners whenever he smiled. He was gorgeous, funny, empathetic. The moment Lexie had laid eyes on him, she had felt like they were meant to be together.
But that didn’t seem to be the case.
The idea of living a life without Asher made her heart hurt.
Just when she began feeling sorry for herself, though, a kick fluttered within Lexie. Placing her free hand on her stomach, Lexie closed her eyes.
You won’t be unloved, bubs. I’m going to love you so much that it won’t matter if he stays or goes.
21
“I swear, Rocket, if you don’t get out of my way right the hell now, you won’t like what happens next.”
Asher was trying to keep as calm as possible, but he was close to hitting his friend square in the face. Either that or bowling the guy over.
Crossing his arms over his chest, Luca continued to block the entrance of his home. “I told you this would happen if you didn’t smarten up.”
The last thing Asher needed was an “I told you so.” He knew how much of an idiot he was.
Gritting his teeth, he stared down Luca. “This is none of your business. Let me see my woman.”
Asher hadn’t noticed the text from Luca until after he was done questioning Albert. By then, Lexie was already in Luca’s home. Phone off, unreachable. He had sped over here, only to be greeted by a barricade in the form of Luca.
Luca’s gaze remained steely. “It’s evening, she doesn’t want to see you right now. Give her tonight, Striker, and see if she feels differently tomorrow.”
“You know I can’t do that.”
Asher had fucked up big-time, and he needed to make it right. He wasn’t leaving without at least attempting to see her.
At the sound of a car engine behind him, Asher turned his head to see Eden pulling up with Shylah.
Facing Luca again, Asher raised a brow. “You called for backup?”
Shrugging his big shoulders, Luca didn’t appear remorseful in the least. “I knew you’d come and not take no for an answer. It’s what I would do for Evie.”
Eden came to stand beside Asher, with Shylah trailing closely behind. “All okay here?”
Asher rolled his eyes. “We’re fine, go home.”
Shylah pushed her way in front of Eden and looked around hesitantly. “Um, I’m going to go see the girls.”
When Luca stepped aside to allow Shylah into the house Asher had a strong urge to use the moment to barrel his way in.
“Don’t even think about it,” Eden said.
“You wouldn’t make it,” Luca added.
Clearly, Asher had made that thought too obvious.
Swallowing a curse, Asher knew he was a good fighter, but Luca and Eden were equally good. One on one would be an even fight physically, although Asher would probably have the upper hand from sheer will. Two on one, Asher didn’t stand a chance.
“I don’t want to leave here without seeing her.”
Luca cocked his head to the side. “Why?”
“Because it tears my fucking chest apart that she’s upset because of me. That I can’t comfort my woman.”
“Because you love her,” Eden added.
Of course he damn well loved her. He loved her so much that every fiber of his being told him not to tie her to him for all of eternity.
“Let me ask you something, Striker.” Luca leaned his shoulder against the door frame. “Is there someone else you can picture her with? Someone else you want her to run to in hard times? Celebrate with in good times?”
“No.” She was his. End of story.
“Then grow some damn balls and tell the woman that you’re hers. Forever.” Luca barked the last word.
Eden clapped his hand on Asher’s back. “Rocket may not be right a lot of the time, but right now he’s spot on.”
Asher blew out a long breath. “You’re right. Both you assholes are right.”
“Finally, he says something true,” Luca shouted, throwing his arms in the air.
Eden chuckled while Asher racked his brain to work out how to fix this. He needed to fix it and quickly. He didn’t want Lexie upset for a minute longer than necessary.
A faint cry echoed through the house, causing all three men to still.
Lexie.
Shoving Luca aside, Asher sprinted through the house. He knew Luca’s home like the back of his hand. The cry had come from the upstairs guest bathroom.
Not stopping once he reached the bathroom, Asher turned the knob, breaking the lock easily.
As soon as he stepped inside, Asher’s body went cold.
Lexie lay on the cold tiles, on her side, struggling to push herself up.
Scanning the small room, he noticed nothing amiss. No threat in sight.
Dropping by her side, Asher helped ease her onto her back. “Easy.”
Lexie’s eyes flew up to his face at the sound of his voice. “Asher?”
Her attention immediately shifted to the door, giving a hurt look to, Asher assumed, Luca.
“It’s not his fault. I forced my way in.”
Taking a moment, Asher listened to both her and the baby’s heartbeats. Both were normal. Next, he studied her face, unable to ignore the stress lines around her eyes.
Lifting his hand, he stroked the side of her face.
“Both your and our baby’s heart rates are steady. Are you okay? What happened?”
Lexie attempted to push herself into a sitting position but her arms shook so violently, it was impossible. Asher’s worry increased. Placing a hand on each arm, he helped her sit up.
“I’m okay, Asher. I just got light-headed for a moment.” Lexie’s voice was flatter than normal. Her usual fiery tone absent.
“Call Sage,” Asher called to the guys in the doorway.
Lexie closed her eyes. “Asher—”
“Should we get you to the bed?” he asked.
“Asher! I’d like you to go.”
Asher immediately wanted to refuse. There was no way he wanted to leave her like this. She needed him. Both her and their baby.
They needed support. And he wanted to be the one to provi
de that.
As if swapping roles, she now placed her hand on his arm. “I think I passed out because I’m stressed. Remember how Sage said that I needed to avoid all stress?” Lexie paused for a moment before she continued. “You and me…this is stressing me out.”
Guilt hit Asher hard. He was causing her stress. Asher was the reason Lexie had fallen, while pregnant, onto the cold, hard floor of the bathroom.
Biting back his frustration, Asher helped Lexie to her feet. He’d caused this. The wreckage. The pain. All of it.
“I’ll get you to bed, then I’ll leave,” Asher finally conceded as he lifted Lexie into his arms and took her to the spare room.
Placing her on the bed, he sat on the edge. Taking a closer look at her, he noticed the dark circles that shadowed her eyes had returned. So too had the too-pale skin. Just like before. Those weeks when she’d first been pregnant. The sickness. The worry.
Asher had to do better. For the health of Lexie and the baby.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” He was stalling, not wanting to leave her.
“I’m okay, Asher.” Lexie’s voice was strong.
That was Lexie, though. Always strong, no matter the problem.
“I’ll be back tomorrow.”
“I’ll message when I’m ready to see you.”
Asher held her gaze a moment longer. “I’m an idiot. But I’m working on it.” When her eyes softened a fraction, Asher’s hope grew that she would forgive him. “I’ll see you soon.”
And maybe I can weasel my way back into your life and prove how much you mean to me.
He didn’t say those words out loud, though.
Asher turned and left the room. He didn’t stop to say goodbye to anyone; he went straight to his car. Climbing in, Asher sat there.
He had something he needed to do but he’d be back. Not tomorrow. Tonight. Because wherever Lexie was, was where Asher needed to be.
* * *
“It’s stress,” Sage said, confirming Lexie’s thoughts.
She had known it was stress. Of course it was. Just when her life had seemed to be back on track, her mother’s boyfriend had tried to attack her and Asher had revealed he didn’t actually see himself with her long term, like she’d thought.
It was as though she was a magnet for problems.
“I thought so.” Her voice was quiet as she responded. The desolation she felt likely evident through her tone. “I really appreciate you coming whenever we call.”
“Of course. Any time at all, Lexie.” Sage leaned closer. “I know I’ve said this a dozen times already, but you are the main reason I am here. You are my priority.”
She was glad she was someone’s priority.
“Is there anything I can do?” Sage asked, concern filling her voice.
That question could mean only one thing. Not only did Lexie feel like shit, but she looked it, too.
“Thank you for offering, but no, I’m okay. I’m just not feeling myself at the moment.”
“That’s quite common for women during pregnancy,” Sage explained. “There are so many changes happening to your body. I mean, you’re growing another entire human. And for you, the human you’re growing has a different genetic makeup to most others.”
Giving a small smile, Lexie appreciated the other woman’s attempt at humor.
A knock came at the door before Evie’s muffled voice sounded, “Can we come in?”
By “we,” Lexie knew Evie meant her and Shylah. The two of them had probably been waiting on the other side of the door the entire time Lexie and Sage had been in the room.
Sage laughed while Lexie shook her head.
“Get in here, guys.”
The door crept open and Evie stuck her head in. Then a smile curved her lips before she made her way to the bed with Shylah in tow. The women took the other side of the double.
Shylah was the first to speak. “Are you okay?”
“I’m okay. The diagnosis is in and I’m stressed, which isn’t good for me or the baby.”
The concern didn’t clear from Evie’s or Shylah’s expressions.
“What can we do?” Evie asked.
“I can take over all meals for you. Eden always tells me if I wasn’t a nurse, I would make a great chef,” Shylah suggested.
“I can take your shifts at Marble Protection. I can work on the team’s IT needs while I’m there, anyway,” Evie added.
Appreciation hit Lexie hard. Holy moly, how lucky was she to have these women in her life. Even though their friendships were still fairly new, it was like Lexie had known them for years.
“I’m okay. But I wouldn’t turn down any of your peach cobbler if you made it, Shylah.”
“Done.” Shylah smiled, looking slightly relieved. Probably because she had a job to do.
If only the love of Lexie’s life, the father of her baby, could love her as hard and fast as her friends.
Lexie’s expression must have given her away, because the concern deepened on the faces of the women around her.
“Are you worried about Albert?” Shylah asked. “Eden said he left town after they spoke to him.”
“Plus, I’m going to be keeping an eye out in case he returns,” Evie finished.
Lexie wished that old man was her only concern.
“I’m not worried about Albert. He’s probably halfway across the country by now. That’s if the people behind Project Arma haven’t caught him already.” Lexie felt no sympathy for the guy. He’d gotten himself into this mess. “It’s Asher’s words from the other night that keep replaying in my head. A part of me wonders if I should end this before I get any deeper.”
“This” being any sort of romantic relationship with Asher. Crap, just saying those words out loud almost tore her heart in two.
“I mean, we can coparent while separated.”
Everything Lexie said left a sour taste in her mouth and a lump in her throat. The idea made sense to her on a practical level. She didn’t want to end up so broken it compromised her parenting.
The only problem was, she was so deeply in love with the guy that it probably didn’t make a difference whether they broke up now or later. The damage to her heart was done.
The three women around Lexie sat silently. Each had a look of contemplation on their face.
“Just say it,” Lexie said firmly.
“Lexie”—it was Evie who eventually spoke—“it isn’t like you to give up. Where’s the old Lexie? The woman who told me not to give up? To get my damn strength back?”
Lexie didn’t know where she was, either. The thing was, she was tired of fighting for something that may never eventuate.
“The other night when we were at Marino’s Pizzeria, I thought Asher and I were in a good place. So when I heard what he said to Bodie, it was kind of like, what else do I need to do? How many more times can I be knocked down before I stop getting back up? I’m tired of fighting for us and always ending up in the same place.” Looking down, she rubbed her stomach. “It’s not just me anymore. I want to be a good mother.”
“You’re going to be the best mother,” Shylah said firmly, the other women nodding in agreement.
“That means that I need to focus one hundred percent on him. Not Asher.”
Evie’s eyes widened. “Him?”
“Oh my God, did you find out the gender and not tell us?” Shylah shrieked.
Shaking her head, Lexie kept her eyes on her bump. “It’s just a feeling. I don’t know for sure.”
But every time she pictured her baby, it was with the same big brown eyes as Asher’s. With the same smile and the same boyish good looks.
“Whatever you have, your baby will be beautiful and loved,” Sage responded gently as she placed her hand over Lexie’s.
Shylah planted accusing eyes on Sage. “You know, don’t you?”
The doctor gave a small shrug. She definitely knew.
“Not fair.” Shylah pouted.
Lexie let out a laugh that she didn’t
really feel. “That’s okay. I’m just glad you’re here to look after me, Sage.” Turning her head to look at the time, she saw that it was getting late. Late for a pregnant mama, not for the average person. “I feel pretty wrecked. I might go to sleep now.”
In truth, she was feeling more depressed by the minute and was struggling to pull herself out of the funk. Damn pregnancy hormones. Usually Lexie would be fighting her way out of any depressing emotions. But tonight, it felt impossible. Everything felt impossible.
“Of course. We’ll see you in the morning, sweetie.” Evie leaned over and kissed Lexie on the cheek.
Shylah did the same.
“Remember, call if you need anything,” Sage said as she followed the other women out of the room and pulled the door closed behind them.
Once it was just Lexie, she quickly stripped off her clothes before climbing back into bed. Her empty bed.
Growing up, Lexie had promised herself that she would do everything in her power to ensure her life was different than her mother’s. Lexie was supposed to either find a man who loved the absolute heck out of her, marry the guy, and make cute babies together, or not have any kids.
Yet here she was, pregnant and alone.
She couldn’t imagine herself going back to live with Asher. Sharing a bed with the man she so desperately loved, then seeing him every day at work felt too painful. It would break her.
But then, distance seemed just as gut-wrenching.
Tucking her head into the pillow, Lexie was surprised when the first tear fell. She never cried. Crying made her feel weak, and she hated that.
Quickly rubbing the tear into the pillow, Lexie scrunched her eyes shut. She did not want to cry over him.
But soon, more tears fell. They fell so hard and fast that she gave in to the heartache and pain, crying into the pillow. Never in her life had Lexie felt more alone and unloved.
22
Asher arrived back at Luca’s house and threw his car into park.
The relief he felt after what he’d achieved tonight was huge. It was a giant weight off his chest. Not so much the act itself, more what it meant. An indication of the decision he’d made about his future. Their future.
Asher: A steamy contemporary military romance (Project Arma Book 3) Page 17
