by Crystal Lacy
“Wow,” sighs Cary, eyes unblinking as he watches the sun’s descent, his face awash with orange light, same as my own must be. The sun feels good, warm and mellow. “It’s beautiful. Like our own private sunset.”
“Yeah,” I say, unable to take my eyes off him to even glance at the sun. It’s a few moments before he notices and turns with a quizzical tilt of his head. The sun makes everything gleam: his hair and eyelashes and skin, even his eyes. Beautiful.
“It wasn’t just you,” I blurt.
“Huh?”
I clear my throat, summoning up the courage to continue. “I had a crush. The biggest crush. Part of the reason I got with that Hutch guy was because he was easy and he was a football player like you. But I wanted it to be you.”
Cary’s definitely blinking now. He takes a step closer, a hand landing on my hip, mouth opening to say something. I raise a hand to stop him. Gotta finish before I chicken out.
“You were always so nice. That time with the condoms in my locker. You helped me, and you didn’t even care that people might’ve made fun of you for it. People probably wouldn’t have, because you were like… So fucking nice. You always had a smile, a kind thing to say about everyone. All those little acts of kindness you didn’t even seem to get were important. And I…” I take a deep breath, heart beating faster for no reason I can figure out.
“When you caught us, all I could think to say was some sarcastic comment about blowing you. But it wasn’t really sarcasm, because I wanted it. I wanted so badly to live in a world where you could be mine. Where I could deserve you. But I never did.”
Back then I was a video game nerd whose only accomplishment was excelling on the Math Team. Now? I’ve got a job with no real future and a dream that’s probably going to crash and burn. I don’t fit into Cary’s perfect life now any more than I did back then. Cary, with his rich friends who buy him vacation dates and job prospects willing to fly him out to fucking Hawaii. No saving for months and months for the airfare and eating saimin for months after that to make sure I could afford rent.
“Hey,” he says, cupping my face and shielding both our eyes from the sun with his hands. “You do deserve me. And I could be yours.”
It takes a moment for the words to register, and when they do I try to pull away from him. He doesn’t let me get very far.
“God, Cary. Don’t say that. You can’t say that.”
He’s frowning, like he’s puzzled I’m reacting like this. Like this isn’t the only reasonable way to react to his statement.
“It’s insane, Cary. We’ve spent three days together. Less than, if you count that first night when you went back to the hotel.” You can’t mean it. It’s crazy. And the worst part of it all is that I want him to mean it so badly my chest feels like it’s going to explode with the wanting.
“I can’t speak for you,” he says, words murmured so close I can feel his breath ghosting across my mouth. “I don’t know what you think, how you feel. But Fei. I’ve always—It’s always been like this with you. I’ve wanted you for a decade. It hasn’t just been three days. I’m crazy about you. And yeah, it’s crazy fast, and it might not work out, but I don’t want to let you go.”
“You’re gonna have to when you return to your job in the mainland.”
He makes a dismissive noise. “I’ll come back.” Said with such conviction, like he doesn’t doubt it in the slightest.
“I’m not worth it, Cary. You should—”
“Bullshit. What the hell makes you think that? Jesus Christ, Fei. How could you of all people have these self-esteem issues? You’re sexy and hella smart, and you have this amazing plan for what you want to do with your life that revolves around something you love. That’s a whole hell of a lot more than most people have got.”
“An amazing plan that might go to shit. That might not ever amount to anything.” Isn’t that what my parents back home always told me of my plans? It was fine to be gay and flaunt it, but to forgo a career in law or medicine for something as uncertain as a video game shop? Never.
“It will. You’ll do it. Hell, I’ll help you. Draw up a marketing plan for you. Work with you on loan applications. And even if that fails, so what? That doesn’t mean you’re not worth it. Doesn’t make me like you any less. I like you. I like the stories you tell, the way you laugh, the way I feel when you kiss me. I even like instant ramen when you make it for me, dude.” Cary exhales a shuddering breath and takes my hand, squeezing tight. “You own me.”
“As simple as that?” I ask.
“Yeah. Just like that.”
My pulse is fast, like I’ve been running up and down the trail instead of just standing still, holding Cary’s hand. “What if you don’t get the job?”
“I’ll come back,” Cary repeats. Same tone as the last time. Same steadfast conviction.
“You sound like a broken record now.” Damn it, but I can’t help smiling, staring into his pretty blue eyes and seeing so much sincerity there it makes me want to kiss him again. I haul him down for a soft, lingering touch of lips and tongues that goes on for a minute.
When the kiss ends, Cary touches his fingertips to my cheek, strokes his knuckles over my jaw. “I’m gonna come back. Whatever it is, we can work it out if we want to work it out. You just need to tell me you want me for longer than these four days.”
“How long?”
“Does it have to have a time limit? Do we?”
The idea of having Cary without limits, without an end date, is amazing. I want that.
“It’s crazy and fast and it could come crashing down, but Cary, baby?
“Yes, Fei?”
“I want you.”
He pulls me back into his arms and holds me there, his body vibrating with energy and excitement. “You’ve got me. I told you that already, Fei. You’ve got me.”
He sounds just as happy as I am about that.
Epilogue: Fei
Six Months Later
“Are you ready?” Cary asks me when he picks me up from my very last Valentine’s Inc. engagement at a teahouse in Kalihi. “You’re going to be stuck dating just me for the foreseeable future.”
In the past six months, I’ve gradually stopped taking male clients and have switched to escorting women only. It’s a compromise I was more than willing to make when Cary began helping me put together the business plans for the game center. Now that we’ve been approved for a business loan, I can finally close that chapter of my life and begin building my local gaming mecca.
“I kind of resigned myself to that fact when you bullied me into letting you co-sign the loan,” I say, flashing him a grin to soften my words. It’s only been two weeks, and I’m still not quite over the enormity of letting Cary co-sign for my loan. I still have problems letting Cary be here for me without feeling inadequate and unworthy, but the loan was a big step in the right direction for me. Letting Cary help me with it meant I trusted him to be my partner. Partners share their burdens. Like two months ago, when Cary’s dad had a cancer scare and he was a mess of nerves until the lab work came back benign.
We’re there for each other.
“You’re taking a while to make your usual rebuttal,” I say to him, peering at his face in profile, his eyes glued to the windshield and his mouth set in a line. “What’s wrong?”
Cary shakes his head and clears his throat. “Nothing. Just… I’ve got something for you.”
“What?”
A smile lightens his expression. “I’ll give it to you when we stop.”
“Tease.” We’re driving to his condo in a considerably more fancy neighborhood than the tiny McCully apartment I still share with Bridget. It’s also closer, which means we only have a few minutes until we arrive. “You’re lucky I’m a patient man.”
Cary glances at me, blue eyes warm. “You are.” After those four glorious, unreal days, we had to wait for nearly a month before Cary’s new position was ready. A month of texts and emails and admittedly hot FaceTime sessions that
weren’t all exactly aimed at our faces. But now here we are, with Cary settled in his new job and me getting the keys to my leased commercial rental for the game center any day now.
Wait a minute…
“Is it the keys? Did the real estate agent finally drop off the keys?” I ask, reaching up to tug on the sleeve of his shirt.
Cary sighs, shifting gears to get his car up the steep ramp to his building’s parking garage. “Yes. It’s the keys.” He turns to me once he’s parked and smiles. “Happy?”
Grinning, I pull him in for a wet, smacking kiss on the lips. “Fucker. Why didn’t you tell me before we parked? We could’ve—”
“Right after dinner, if you want.”
I nod, still grinning like an idiot. I realize the space is just bare bones, nothing but blank walls and commercial lighting. But I only saw it once before we settled on it. I can’t wait to see it again and begin the real detailed planning for how everything will look and feel.
Cary pulls a padded brown envelope out of the glove compartment. “For you,” he says, before leaning in to kiss my forehead.
I hum and snatch him back for a second kiss, this one on the lips. “Buttering me up for something?”
Cary simply smiles. “Maybe.” He nods down at the envelope. “Open it.”
The envelope contains a heavy ring of keys, clearly all related to the property I’m renting for the game center. A thrill of excitement courses through me as I hold it in my hands.
“Fuck, shit’s just got real,” I say, laughing.
“There’s more in there.” Cary sounds nervous.
I reach into an envelope and pull out a single key, hanging off a small enamel red heart keychain. My heart skips a beat, breath stuttering as I stare at the key in the palm of my hand.
“What the— Is this...”
“A key. To the condo. Our condo, if you’d like it. I’d like it. More than like it. I’d love for it to be ours. I love you, and I want to be with you every moment we can spare.” He says it all in a rush, leaving me trailing behind his words, trying to make sense of the most important bits.
“Say that again.”
“Um,” says Cary, face reddening. “The condo. I want yo—”
“No, the part before wanting to be with me every spare moment,” I whisper.
“Oh,” he whispers back. He reaches for my hand, placing his palm over the back but not really grabbing on, not holding. Like he’s scared I’ll pull away from him. “It’s a long time coming. I’ve known it for months, but I didn’t want to pressure you—”
I interject with a laugh. “Only now the pressure’s on?”
“Yes, exactly,” he says, wry smile twisting his lips before his eyes go serious and soft all at once. “I love you. I love you. How many times do you want me to say it again? Because I lo—”
I lunge for him, cutting him off with a hard, bruising kiss which gradually goes softer and wetter until we’re both moaning into each other’s mouths.
“God, I love you,” I pant when we pull apart.
“I know.”
Snickering, I bite sharply down on his lip, enough to elicit a tiny yelp. “Dork. Seriously. I do. Never felt this way about anyone but you, baby.”
“Fei.” I’ll never get tired of the way he says my name, like it’s deserving of all the awe present in his voice.
“Bridge is going to guilt trip the hell out of me for abandoning her,” I mutter.
“No, she won’t. But if you’re not ready, if you’d rather stay with Bridget, I’d totally under—”
“Liar. No, you wouldn’t. And of course I’ll move in with you. More time with that sweet ass? Hell yes. Bridge will have to cope with the loneliness.”
“You want to?”
“Yes,” I say, laughing again. “I want to. Practically been living there anyway. I’ve got half my wardrobe there. Now come on…” I curl my hand around his neck and pull him forward, licking across the seam of his lips. “Let’s watch me use my key to our home for the first time.”
I turn, opening the car door. Behind me, a happy sigh comes from Cary. “Yeah. Let’s go home.”
The End
About the Author
Crystal Lacy lives with her loving family in Hawaii, where it is always either drizzling or sunny and never snows—which is a shame, because she prefers being cold to being damp and hot unless it’s for Very Good Reasons. She writes queer romance, mainly m/m, but also some f/f stuff as well. She has aspirations to one day write a YA novel about cats.
Crystal is also a long-time fangirl and writes slash fan fiction for the Harry Potter and NBC Hannibal fandoms under the name crystalusagi. She has a deep love for fandom culture, and can be frequently spotted on Twitter and Tumblr reblogging pretty fan art.
Join her readers' group on FB for sneak peeks, extras, and the chance to grab advanced reader copies at https://facebook.com/groups/lacybits
Subscribe to her newsletter at crystal-lacy.com/subscribe for monthly book giveaways, recs, news, and more!
More Valentine’s Inc. Books
#1: Kiss Me Like You Mean It by Jacki James: http://mybook.to/KissMeanIt
#2: Kiss Off by Michelle Frost:
getbook.at/KissOff
#3: Kissing The Teacher by Nora Phoenix: http://mybook.to/KissingTeacher
#4: Kiss and Run by K.M. Neuhold:
http://mybook.to/KissRun
#5: Color My Kiss by Michele Notaro:
mybook.to/ColorMyKiss
#6: Kissing Our Loves by Sammi Cee: mybook.to/KissingOurLoves
#7: Kissing Booth by Pandora Pine: mybook.to/KissingBoothPandoraPne
#8: Kiss Me Tomorrow by Ashe Winters: mybook.to/KissMeTomorrow
#9: Kissed in Paradise by Crystal Lacy: mybook.to/KissedinParadise
#10: Kissing Lessons by Brittany Cournoyer: mybook.to/KissingLessons
Also by Crystal Lacy
Novel-Length:
Brave for You - Construction foreman Nate is a single dad to six-month-old Neil. Andrew Hoang is the lonely pediatrician who lives on the same floor of their new building. Slow burn m/m romance.
Change for You - Tax accountant Stephen Webb needs to satisfy this season's biggest new client and land a repeat customer for next year in order to make partner. Then 23-year-old tax intern Max walks into his life, and everything changes.
Short Stories:
Remembering You - When Robbie comes home for Christmas, he is confronted by Troy, the ex-step-cousin whose dad left Robbie's aunt one summer eight years ago. Can Robbie stifle lingering feelings for Troy, who was his first love and who gave him his first kiss? 9600 words.
Ghost Walk - When Blaze Muraoka signs up for a walking ghost tour of downtown Honolulu as research for a writing assignment, he doesn't actually expect to encounter a ghost—or a romance. A spooky & steamy Halloween story. 6700 words. (Free on Prolific Works)
Had to Be You - Nicolas doesn't remember a time when he wasn't in love with his best friend Mason, but Mason has never given any indication he's interested in guys. When Nicolas accompanies Mason back to their home town, sweet nostalgia makes it difficult for him to hide his feelings. What will happen when Mason finally clues in? 9600 words. (Free on Prolific Works)
Dreams in Color - Art student Ruth can’t get Mie out of her mind. The problem is Mie is an English professor at her university. A sweet and sexy lesbian romance. (Free on Prolific Works)
First Time Seller - Join Crystal’s newsletter (https://crystal-lacy.com/subscribe) to receive a free copy of this story! Lee needs rent money ASAP. Handsome, rich, and alluring Hugo is willing to pay. But can they keep things strictly business? High-heat m/m erotic romance! 5300 words.
Thank you all!
This little book would not be possible without a lot of people. Thanks so much to Eden, Kyleen, and Jill for letting me bounce ideas off you and betaing this story. Thanks to Davina for the awesome edit work. Thanks to Lori for doing a phenomenal job proofreading. Thanks to Vicki for the lovely cover a
nd promo, and for generally being an ace at finding stock photos. Thanks so much to my fellow Valentine’s Inc. authors, whose support and friendship have made this project a joy. And thanks to my group on FB for keeping me relatively sane, ahaha. Love you all!
