by Judy Kundert
Neal beamed. “I got the news this afternoon and knew that you were out with your parents. I couldn’t wait until tomorrow. And I fibbed that my professor loaned me the key.” He pursed his lips. “It’s my key, and you get to be with me for my inaugural use of it. My dad and mom sent it to me and told me not to use it until I could celebrate something special with someone special.”
Katherine threw her shoulders back, smiled, and winked when the chilled champagne arrived. The Gaslight Girl filled their flutes with the sweet bubbly.
Lifting a glass, she offered a toast, “To you, Neal, and your new career and adventure. I wish you tremendous success.”
They clinked their glasses and sipped.
Neal sat back in his chair and sipped half his glass before speaking.
Katherine savored the silent time and waited to let Neal talk.
“There’s one more thing for you to answer.”
Katherine sighed and sat back in the chair. She knew the question. Am I moving in with him? No. I thought maybe he’d changed his mind now that he’s leaving for Washington D.C. in a couple of months. That’s it! He has a dog that he wants me to take in. “Oh, your dog. What’s his or her name?”
Neal wrinkled his brow, “My dog’s name? I don’t have a dog.”
Katherine gulped. “Oh, I thought you had a dog and wanted me to take it for you.”
Neal leaned in, took Katherine’s hands, and stared into her eyes. “At McGuire’s last week, I asked you to move in with me. Now you’re alone in the apartment. It’s safer to have a roommate. Last night I fretted, imagining you in the flat alone. And I have a lease until the end of July. You can stay until then and maybe you’ll be ready to come to D.C.” He squeezed her hands. “I promise to be a gentleman.”
Katherine glanced away from Neal’s blazing stare. She blinked and slumped back in the plush chair, rubbing her temples as if her fingers could sort out the thoughts jetting in her mind and zooming straight to the hollow of her stomach. Temptation came first. Wow. Her emotions danced on their toes right now. What does that mean? We’ve only known each other for less than a month. But if you love someone, it’s not the length of knowing, but the heart’s knowing.
Katherine’s mind calmed, her heart bounced, and her spirit took a flight to give her the words of strength. “Neal, my heart says yes. You fill me with calm feelings. My mind says, well, yes and no: yes, because you’re a gentleman for sure and no, because my parents would say no. My spirit says no. No, because I’m standing at many intersections and new roads. I need to determine the path before I can commit.” Katherine paused. “You tell me that you’re asking as a good friend for me to move for my safety. Here’s my rebuttal to you, from a woman’s point of view. To share a place with a man to me means more than just safety. It could just become wild sex, even if that wasn’t the original plan; it could be real love that grows, or it could just go bad.” Katherine paused. “My conclusion, I don’t want to ruin the beauty of our relationship right now.”
33
OLD TOWN BUSTLED WITH artists from around the country preparing their exhibits. In Katherine’s opinion, her mother eclipsed them all with her modern Native American art. Katherine’s mom’s artistry inspired Katherine. Katherine never dreamed of the artist life for herself. When she was six, she’d spent half a day in her mother’s studio watching her paint brush dip into yellows, blues, greens, and blacks. With the twist of her mother’s hand, the colors would glide on the canvas to create real pictures. Katherine fell in love with her mother’s art. She still remembered her mother’s anger when she saw Katherine’s small hand dip into the black paint to add her touch to her mother’s masterpiece. Her backside had hurt more than her pride. Artistry and painting were not Katherine’s destiny, but an appreciation of good art never left her. She dreamed of her home with original art lining the walls in every room of her house, even the bathrooms.
Katherine’s toes rose over the cobblestones as she advanced on her mother, who waved her over and hugged her for a long time. “There’s my gorgeous daughter. You got to bed early, right?”
Katherine nodded.
She smiled. “A good night’s sleep is a woman’s beauty secret.”
Katherine curbed the burst of thrills flowing in and out of her. Her feelings floated on the surface just like the thousands of dandelion seeds that soar into a million places on a summer’s day. Being enthralled, she pinched her lips to tie in the Cheshire cat grin struggling for freedom. Katherine was there to hear her mother’s mystical and mysterious message. Neal could wait. “I’m so hyped to see you! Are you ready for lunch?”
Her mother gazed over her shoulder. “Hm, oh there he is. Your father is my relief to man the booth. I don’t want to miss any sales.”
Katherine’s father gave her a peck on her cheek. “Hello, Goldie. Grand time last night.” He turned to Katherine’s mother and glanced at his watch. “Okay, my next committee meeting is at 3:00 p.m. You two go have a lady chat.”
Katherine and her mother had a special bond even if they were poles apart. Her mother, the artist, spent quiet time alone while Katherine, the curious, wanted to talk and learn from others. An in-depth mother-daughter talk is monumental. Mom and I never have “lady chats.” Maybe when I was twelve, she stumbled with the “becoming a woman” talk. Do I want to “talk” with her?
Her mother touched her arm and a chill bolted through Katherine. “Don’t worry. It’s good! Let’s have those sticky ribs.” Her mother threw a kiss to her husband and put her hand on Katherine’s arm to guide her toward a tangy barbecue aroma.
Katherine’s nose twitched with the enticing scent of hickory smoke, brown sugar, and secret sauce. The desire to eat was more fundamental than any problem or issue her mother’s talk presented. What’s my problem? My mom loves me. We had a great time last night. She didn’t send me any signs that something was wrong in her world.
“Boy, Mom, how do you work with these delicious scents floating around the exhibitors’ booth? My breakfast vanished, and my stomach is shouting for those ribs.”
Her mother laughed. “If you smell it every day, you never want to come near a roast pig.”
Both munched on their sourdough buns stuffed with pork smothered in hickory sauce.
“How’s your job? Are you getting restless for something new?”
Is this lady talk? “Well, maybe. I love the benefits: travel, time off, and money. What else could I need, at least for now? But do I want to do this for another five to ten years? I’ve been a stewardess for two and half years. I could get married, but I don’t want to find someone to marry right now.”
Sitting straight like a gracious statue, her mother nodded and listened. Katherine recognized the demeanor. Behind the tranquility of those dark eyes and finely chiseled cheeks lurked a mind buzzing with ideas. Katherine sensed well-oiled thoughts organized and ready for delivery to her beloved daughter. Like a spark emerging from the flares of Prometheus, a profound revelation flowed from her dark red lips like an arrow aimed straight toward Katherine. “As the wise Hopi say, ‘Wisdom comes when you stop looking for it and start living the life the Creator intended for you.’”
Her mother placed her hands on her lap, smiled, and waited for Katherine’s response.
She had visions of her feather signs, her great-grand-mother’s visits, Soaring Eagle, the message she heard at the Oracle of Delphi, and the eagle feather. Like a neon sign, they were giving her one message. Her mother had birthed her twice, first as a baby and now as her destiny guide. And now she’d settled on a topic for her anthology research: Native Americans as the Lost Tribe of Israel. Katherine gazed up at the sky, paused, and opened her eyes to her mother. For the first time, harmony circled her, and she and her mother breathed the same air and shared a single transmission. “Mom, you’re guiding me on my Vision Quest, aren’t you?”
Her mother nodded and retold the legend of Hanging Cloud. “Hanging Cloud,” she said, “‘Goes Across the Sky Woman,’ Aazh
awigiizhigokwe. She was the only woman full warrior among her people. She wore war paint, carried full battle weapons, and was a deadly fighter. As a fighter, she took part in battles, raids, hunting parties, and sporting events reserved for heroes. She was a full member of the war council, performed war dances, and took part in warrior ceremonies.”
The sounds of the rock band playing in the background melded with Katherine’s inner musical thoughts. Like a jet engine humming at cruising altitude, her mind followed her journey from Beloit College to the life of a sophisticated stewardess. She was on a sojourn wandering through a wilderness. Now she saw the thread of protection that circled from Soaring Eagle’s feather messages and warnings, her great-grandmother, whom everyone called Hanging Cloud, journeying with her.
Diamonds of moisture flowed from the corners of her eyes. “Yes, Mom, Grandmother told me the legend and why her mother was like Hanging Cloud, Chippewa warrior woman. How my great-grandmother, pregnant with my grandmother, journeyed from her tribe to help save her life. She struggled to escape her tribe’s smallpox demons. After riding horseback, she made it home to Chicago and stayed with a friendly medicine tribe on Green Bay Road.” Katherine paused, and half smiled. “I found out that Clark Street was Green Bay Road. Goosebumps pop up every time I walk down Clark Street.”
Her mother raised her hand to motion for Katherine to stop. “I have to get back to my booth. Your father has to prepare his report for the committee meeting. So please listen carefully. My message concerns your Rite of Passage on the Vision Quest. That Thunderbird around your neck, the one that my mother, your grandmother, bestowed on you, is a constant reminder of your destiny.”
Katherine touched the turquoise Thunderbird. “I thought it offered protection.”
“Yes, it does that. Those individual tests that you encountered with fears, weaknesses, and uncertainties can disappear now. Your future will open to a new horizon with a realm that brings magical and transformational worlds. Your path waits out there for you.” Her mother paused. “You are to help our tribe, the Chippewa nation.” Her mother leaned over Katherine and kissed her cheek. “Now go and reflect on our chat. The rest is in your hands. Find your kismet and watch for it to uncork its secrets.”
34
TWO DAYS BEFORE HER next flight, Katherine walked between two worlds. Her life as a stewardess faded away to her new future. Her eyes gleamed, and her feet floated across Old Town to stroll along Clark Street. Katherine paused to rub her feet on the sidewalk. Flashing images of Native Americans following the same path she walked circled her mind. My ancestors walked on this spot on the earth. For them, it was the Green Bay Trail that took them to Green Bay, Wisconsin. Today, for me, the name is Clark Street.
Their mother-daughter talk had produced an exciting struggle with her inner world of mixed feeling and thoughts. Her heart pounded and demanded that she be alone while electrical jolts of excitement rumbled in her stomach for action. Indeed, like reinforced bolts, her mind was locked on her new destination. Feathers and visions like pebbles blended in the sand to present hidden clues to her destined life path. Now she had so much to learn concerning her tribe and its blood that flowed through her body. Anaïs Nin had the answer for her feelings: “The possession of knowledge does not kill the sense of wonder and mystery. There is always more mystery around the bend.”
Yes, her mother’s ancestral announcement had hit a bull’s eye on her truth meter. Her mother had gifted her with a future like a great block of variegated marble. Now Katherine’s mind and heart became chisels to sculpt her new life. When she envisioned the significant, overwhelming size of the marble, she looked up for invisible guidance. Becoming a stewardess had been simple: she won an interview and got hired for a job that many young women envied and that made her a woman that many men salivated to know. Katherine, too, savored her privileged life.
Katherine’s heart sunk but then rose with the thoughts of unexpected adventures. She had to earn a living even if she wanted to be a modern Hanging Cloud warrior for her people. She saw roadblocks to her dreams in men’s view of women and their belief that women didn’t have abilities beyond smiling, serving, and following. What if she finished her degree and published her paper on the Lost Tribe of Israel, then what? The same dilemma that prompted me to fly away and become a stewardess stares me in the face. What shape will my destiny take? I won’t get dropped in a box of acceptability. I’ll kick the can beyond Sacajawea and Annie Oakley. I’ll make my place.
Instead of going home to live with this intense battle, Katherine turned toward LaSalle Street and Lincoln Park. She yearned for calm. Lincoln Park offered a new venture into a faraway world of Alaskan polar bears and African penguins. On her path to Lake Michigan, she waved at the lions lounging in the sun at the Kovler Lion House. Lake Michigan’s blue water fed Katherine with balance. It cleared a path for her to focus. Right then, she wanted to find Neal and walk with him along the lake. But she needed time alone and a place to find the new Katherine. Will others perceive the new me? No makeup changes, but when a person’s inner-self changes, does it show on the outside?
She remembered the days when her spirits soared, and she got more winks and whistles than on the days when she dipped into a dark funk. A comfortable rock on the edge of Diversey Harbor beckoned to her to come to the perfect place near the water to clear the mind and find answers. Katherine plunked on her white Rivera sunglasses and reclined on her comfortable, solid rock.
Splashing waves and the golden orange setting sun invited Katherine’s battling emotions to find a quiet, calm space for dreams to open with a journey back to her happy horseback riding days at Chippewa Falls’ Hay Meadow Trail. The memory of the power of her horse, Shining Star, beneath her seemed like a jet-propelled engine moving her forward. A sense of freedom enlivened her muscles, mind, and heart. On her mighty steed, she’d had a place to discover in herself the qualities to help her become a better human being. She longed to become a great person. The wind blew in her hair, and she became one with nature’s freshness—the smell of the air, foliage, and soil atop Shining Star. Power and control over a 1000-pound majestic creature had given her confidence. Katherine wanted nothing more than to put on war paint and ride to victory. She stretched her hands to the sky and rose back into a walk. Calmness and knowledge to stay the course flowed from her. She needed patience and time to see it appear.
Katherine entered Diversey Harbor. There, right in front of her like a neon sign, stood a bronze statue of a Sioux chief on horseback, Indian Signal of Peace, 1890.
As she stepped away from the magnificent statue, she jumped at a tap on her shoulder. “Are you following me or are you visiting one of your relatives?” Neal laughed.
Katherine squealed. Neal, a delightful vision, casual in his beige Bermuda shorts, white T-shirt, and Dockers, dropped a small sailing duffle bag. “Neal! What are you doing here?”
“I was helping the crew on my friend’s sailboat.” He stopped and hugged her. “Whatever brought you here, I’m grateful. I planned to call you when I got home. How are Mom and Pop?”
Katherine’s hands tingled. She tipped her head back and smiled at the sky. “It was the best. Better than just a regular visit.”
Neal’s eyes scanned Katherine’s face like a professional photographer looking for the best shot. “Wow, you look fantastic. I dig that red and black spiral tie-dye. You’re super, man.” He squeezed her. “Hey, let’s go to the Diversey Bar and grab a chilled brew.”
Katherine’s heart fluttered and commanded her adrenaline to charge around her body like an Olympic runner. Her chance meeting with Neal confirmed it. She thanked her inner-self for doing serious beauty work. She gave him a hug and grabbed his hand. “Let’s go.”
The couple strolled up to the Diversey Yacht Club. “Hey, Neal,” a man yelled from a crowded table, “come on and join us.”
Neal waved his hand and shouted to his friends, “Another time.” And guided Katherine to the harbor bar. “This is great
we have the place to ourselves. Right now I love a quiet place, without my rowdy crowd. You can tell me what’s making you look so exhilarated.”
Katherine smiled at the crowd at the outside bar. “This is fine. We can always go out later and join them. Right?”
“Sure.”
“So. You’re a sailor.”
“I guess I was sailing on Lake Washington while you rode horses and shot bows and arrows in Chippewa Falls. I knew we had lots in common.” He laughed and ordered their draft beers. “Now it’s your turn. I shared my good news with you the other night.” He paused and put his finger to his chin and gazed at Katherine. “I can tell that you’re like a helium balloon ready to take flight. Shoot. I’m right?”
“Yep, you’re right on.” Katherine’s breathing increased, and her words flew out of her mouth like moths flying from the dark to a bright light. “Here’s the short of it. I’m going to help my tribe, the Chippewa. My dad helps the tribe with his volunteer civil rights law. My mother creates Native American modern art. I must help too.”
“That’s great. But do you have a particular plan?”
“Ray Bradbury says, ‘Jump, and your wings will unfold as you fall.’” Katherine pointed her thumbs to her chest. “That’s my plan.”
35
KATHERINE GOT TO THE check-in desk with five minutes to spare before her 1:00 p.m. flight to LAX. There he was, the crew desk guy who had given her the Las Vegas junket. Oh dear. I don’t have his autograph from the Copa Girls. How can I give him that signed photo with jam smeared on it? Do I tell him the truth or fib? Katherine leaned over the sign-in desk, hoping he’d forgotten.
“There’s my Vegas girl,” he said with a smile. “Where’s my Copa Girls’ photo?”
Katherine sighed. “I’m so sorry, but I didn’t go to the Copa show since I couldn’t stay up late because of my 6:00 a.m. check-in.”
