by Ruby Vincent
“Again,” I whispered. “Shush.”
I don’t know who was more nervous about tonight—me or Jordan. She thought I was walking into a world of rejection from the man who abandoned me and the brother who wanted nothing to do with me.
I felt so many tangled emotions I couldn’t keep track. Tonight, I would meet my father. Not a picture, a replay of an interview, a glossy face next to a magazine article, or an ice cream shop employee. My father would be real and whole in front of me.
Does he know I’m coming? Derek must have confronted him by now. I would if a girl dressed as a boy spent the last couple of years worming into my life just to announce she was my sister. I’d demand an explanation from my father, so why wouldn’t Derek?
How will Jonathan respond to me? Will he keep on pretending I don’t exist? Denying my paternity has worked for him so far. Why not keep it up?
Questions I couldn’t answer swirled in my head as we brought my things to my new dorm. The Elite floor was as quiet as the rest of the school. Students had all day to move in and it looked as though most of them decided to sleep in instead of rolling in at eight in the morning.
I set a picture of Mom, Jordan, and Aunt Bev on my desk and stepped back. These rooms truly were magnificent. My own computer, television, and bathroom. The furniture appeared brand new. No scuffs and chips reflecting years of use by teenage boys. They must replace it regularly. The same can’t be said for the F dorms.
“This is Zach’s room,” I said to no one in particular. “He’ll be moving into mine tomorrow.”
“Unfortunate,” my mom said, “but do not feel sorry for what you had to do. Women are made to feel like they should apologize for their success, but our counterparts do not. Anyone with the skills and talent would have done what you did, Zela.”
“I don’t feel sorry. I wish things didn’t turn out this way, but I won the tournament fair and square.” I took another photo out of my bag. “The same can’t be said for Zachary Fields.”
There was a time I would have felt sympathy for Zach. Those times were long gone. Bad blood existed between us now. Strikes against the other that could never be forgiven. I had more enemies than I could count this year, and whether I wanted him to be or not, Zach was included.
My family helped me unpack the rest of my things and readied to leave soon after. Black storm clouds hung over Breakbattle and they wanted to get home before the skies opened again.
“Just pick me up tomorrow morning,” Jordan pleaded. “Who is going to know I’m here but us?”
“Have you forgotten you have school in two days too?” Aunt Bev returned. “The answer is no. Get your stuff and say bye to Zee.”
Huffing, Jordan hugged me tight. “Just... promise you’ll call,” she whispered.
“I will.”
The hours before the reception, I sat beneath the windowsill and watched the storm rage. Water trickled down the pane like tears. Jordan called me five times since she left despite my promise to call her.
I appreciated her worry. She was doing it for me, experiencing all the emotions I should be feeling while I sat still and blank, listening to the rain.
“YOU LOOK GREAT.”
Adam did a twirl on my carpet. He skipped the traditional black and donned a slim-fitting gray suit that accentuated a body honed by years of swimming.
“Thanks,” he said. “You look nice too.”
I kept it simple. Black suit, white shirt, black shoes. What I wore on the outside didn’t matter as much as what was going on inside. I still passed for a boy, but the price of double bindings was becoming costly. I could hardly breathe in this thing.
“Ready?” he asked. “We’re supposed to meet in the cafeteria.”
“Yep.” I followed him out into a hallway that was livelier than it was a few hours ago. Boys streamed in and out of their friends’ rooms—some of them dressed up like us, but most not. The reception was for juniors only. Cole, Landon, Michael, and Derek would be there.
Derek.
“Why do you think they’re having it at their house?” I asked, voicing the question on my mind since I saw Adam’s letter.
“No clue. The Graysons are notorious for never throwing parties, having meetings, or letting anyone on their property. Especially after...”
“It’s okay,” I said when he trailed off. “Derek told me what happened to his mom.”
“He did?” Adam was genuinely surprised. “Wow. You two did get close.”
A fist closed around my heart and squeezed. I didn’t speak as we headed for the cafeteria, but my mind could not be silenced.
We walked in to see guys in handsome tuxes and girls wearing glittering dresses and strappy heels. I didn’t know until that moment the junior girls were invited too. Two people peeled themselves out of the pack and came for us.
“Adam.” Melody captured his lips in a bold kiss uncaring of the students, teacher, vice principal, and principal watching. Melody was radiant in a pale pink strapless dress and pink pumps. Declan and Henrietta could try, but I doubt they could improve her in any way.
“Hey, baby.” Landon hooked an arm around my waist and pressed his forehead to my temple. “I missed you.”
I relaxed for the first time that day—for the first time in weeks. “I missed you too.”
“After the party, we’ll come back to my room and... catch up.”
A shiver went up my spine. “Can’t wait.”
We pulled away to join the group and my eyes landed on Cole and Michael propped up on a table to the side. A sharp reminder of the texts I shared with Michael and my bedroom activities with Cole made my cheeks warm. There was something else I needed to do with Landon tonight.
“Attention, juniors.”
Landon’s hand fell off my hip as I turned to face Principal Whittaker. My principal was a handsome guy, that was never in doubt, but he’d outdone himself in a suit that rivaled Landon’s in expense.
“The Graysons honor us by inviting the juniors to their home to celebrate the coming year.”
Not all the juniors.
“I will not hear of anyone disrespecting themselves, our hosts, or this school by acting out in any way. Am I understood?”
“Yes, sir.”
I scanned the room while he went on about what was expected of us. I was disappointed, but not surprised, that Derek was nowhere to be found. It didn’t make much sense for him to leave his house only to drive right back.
Whittaker clapped. “Excellent. Let’s go. The cars are waiting outside.”
The “cars” turned out to be four stretch limos.
I shook my head. Elites truly lived a completely different life.
Adam slid inside first and I came in after him. My butt hit the seat for all of two seconds. Landon came in, picked me up, and put me in his lap.
“Landon, I can’t ride there like this.”
“Says who?”
Sighing, I surrendered without a fight. I was a tight bundle of nerves on the way to meet my biological father for the first time. The little kisses he was dropping on my neck and jaw were a welcome distraction.
Cole and Michael ducked into our limo and then locked the door.
Michael met my eyes and smiled. Just for me as though he didn’t see Landon at all. “Hey, Zee. How was your summer? Did you get to New York?”
“No,” I replied, picking up our last text conversation. “Mom decided to stay in and get some writing done, so Aunt Bev took us out for a beach weekend instead. How was Scotland?”
“Great. Mom’s meeting with potential investors went well, and we freaked people out racing down the sidewalk. Her wheel caught a loose cobblestone and she almost took me out. People screamed.”
I tumbled off Landon’s lap laughing. I may not have seen him, but I got plenty of insight into Michael’s life through our texts.
His parents divorced when he was little and his dad relocated to Germany for work. Despite that, the three of them were on great terms and every
school break Michael and his mother went to Europe to stay with him. This summer, they took a detour to Scotland for his mom’s work and Michael sent me daily updates of their antics.
I wiped my eyes. “What about you, Cole? Is Chrissy back at college? Is your car fixed up?”
Cole leaned back in his seat, eyes fixed on the roof. “Yeah.”
Was that yeah for one of my questions or both? I didn’t get a chance to ask.
Cole took out his music and headphones and shut us out.
The rest of the hour drive to Evergreen was fun. Michael, Landon, Adam, and I talked and messed around. The pall over our trip was a stiff and silent Cole brooding in the corner of the limo, and of course, the tight knot twisting my stomach as we got closer. I grew quieter and quieter until I stopped speaking at all.
“We’re here,” Adam spoke up. “We—”
I cut him off climbing over his lap to peer out of the window. A tall, metal fence came into view. Through the bars, a lonely mansion sat on the hill. Lonely was the only description I could give. There were no dancing topiaries, no colorful gardens of jewel-tone flowers, no line of sports cars that I had come to know as accessories to the Evergreen life and home. The setting sun cast orange and gold over a bare manicured lawn.
It fell out of view as the driver turned onto the driveway. The murmur of voices floated back to us as the driver spoke to the security guard. Eons passed waiting for the gates to finally open.
Soon, we were let through and the limo parked at the top of the circular drive. I shot back and clambered over Landon and Michael to get out.
Three stories of columns, arches, balconies, and white brick shone in the glory of balcony and floor lights. Palm trees were everywhere, placed in the path of windows and to the height of balconies. Their palms whispered in the breeze, adding a touch of beauty to their function of obscuring a crafty paparazzo’s shot.
I took a step toward the door and a hard wall of muscle and polyester blocked my path. The guard swept out his hand.
“Phones, cameras, listening or recording devices of any kind are to be handed to this gentleman over there. They will be returned to you at the end of the night.”
I blinked into mirrored sunglasses. Put three of me together and this guy could bounce us down the drive without breaking a sweat. I backed up and put my phone in the waiting hands of the guard without protest.
Again, I made for the house and found myself bouncing off his chest.
“Arms out, please.”
I endured my pat-down in silence. Cole not so much.
“The hell with this shit,” he snapped. “This isn’t the damn Pentagon. They invited us here, not the other way around.”
“Mr. Reed,” Argyle said sharply. “That is enough.”
I bounced on my heels as the unnamed man stuck his hands in my pocket, came away with a piece of gum, and confiscated that too. Over his shoulder, I stared at the door picturing my father and brother inside.
After all this time... I’m only ten feet away.
“You may go in.”
I was off and running before he finished the sentence.
“Mr. Manning, slow down.”
Argyle’s cry barely registered. The doors flew open when I reached the top step, the butlers moving in tandem to welcome us inside.
“Zeke,” Argyle hissed. “Stop running.”
I did. My shoes made an audible squeak as I skidded to a stop on the polished floors. I stopped... because he was here.
At the top of the grand staircase, stood two people. Naomi Grayson was dazzling figuratively and literally. Her gold sequined dress sparkled under the light of the chandelier and drew every eye to a body that was fitter and a face that was lovelier than the cameras could ever capture.
I spared her the barest glance and honed in on the man holding her.
Jonathan Grayson.
“Welcome, everyone.” His smile was wide and charming. “It’s a pleasure to have you here with us tonight.”
My feet moved of their own power, bringing me closer to him. I knew what he looked like. I must have found every single article and photo of him there was on the internet, but yet, I drank him in. If I didn’t capture him now, he might fade away.
“The party is confined to downstairs,” he said. “We have food, drinks, music...”
Thin lips formed his words. Jonathan looked plain next to Naomi, but I’m certain every living being in the world could say the same. A touch of gray graced his brown hair and when he smiled, the lines around his aquiline nose wrinkled. I pictured him eighteen years ago, young and handsome, and holding the woman my mother used to be—instead of his wife.
“Please, join us in the living room.” Jonathan and Naomi descended the stairs. “Refreshments are waiting to tide us over until dinner. I’m looking forward to speaking to all of you and hearing your plans for the future.”
My chest strained in my bindings, my breath speeding up as he stepped off the stairs directly in front of me. Jonathan was so close all I had to do was reach out and touch him. So I did.
“H-hi.”
His eyes snapped to me and the hand reaching for him. He clasped it and shook warmly.
“Hello,” he said kindly. His eyes sparkled with good nature, but not recognition. “Nice to meet you.”
My father dropped my hand all too soon and continued walking. I lurched to go after him when movement flickered out of the corner of my eye.
Derek stepped out of a shadowed hallway. All thoughts of following Jonathan fled as he paused at the top of the stairs and locked eyes with me.
Angel.
No, it couldn’t be. Not him. But yet that word floated through my mind as I took him in. Derek stood illuminated beneath the crystal chandelier. Rainbow prisms of light danced on his pristine white tux and golden-brown hair.
I put my foot on the step and found my new friend’s arm in my way once again.
“The party is confined to the bottom— Hey!”
I ducked beneath him and raced up. “Derek.”
Heavy footfalls charged after me, but one raised hand from Derek halted the guard in his tracks.
Derek watched me approach completely expressionless. I didn’t stop coming until I was two steps away. A million things went through my mind as we looked at each other, but all that came out was,
“Hi.”
He said nothing. Did nothing. A still, perfect statue.
My heart sank to my stomach as the silence stretched. I lifted my hand, desperate to touch him, prove he was real, but I fell short inches from his sleeve. Somehow, touching him was even more impossible than Jonathan.
“Derek, please...”
He came alive. He shifted, crooking a brow. “Please what, Zee?”
“I called you,” I said softly. “I called and texted and tried to talk to you so many times.”
“I know.”
I stepped closer and he let me. Over his shoulder, two guards stood before both entrances to the hallways. I felt their eyes on us and my anxiety heightened. This wasn’t right. The way Derek was acting and the audience watching us. We needed to go somewhere and talk properly.
“I want to explain everything,” I said. “Can we talk in private?”
“No need.” He smiled. “You don’t have to explain, Zee. I get it now.”
“You do?”
“Yes, I do. That’s why I convinced my parents to throw this party. For you.”
Hope swelled in my chest for a moment, until he uttered those final words. “For me? What do you mean?”
“Everything you did was to get here, right? Becoming Zeke, getting into the academy, befriending me—all of it was so you could use me to get close to my father.”
I reeled back and tipped off the step. My hand flew out to grip the banister before I could fall. “That’s not true!”
My shout made one of the guards step forward.
“It is true,” Derek replied. He didn’t sound angry, harsh, annoyed, or anything like t
he Derek I’ve known for the last two years. “You wouldn’t have taken it as far as you did—lying to me all of this time—if you didn’t have another endgame.
“Well, you’ve gotten what you wanted. He’s right in there.” Derek pointed at the door our father disappeared through. “I hope he’s everything you’ve dreamed of in a daddy.”
Tears spilled over. My knuckles went white under my hold of the banister. It was the only thing holding me up. This was so much worse than him yelling or cursing me out.
Derek walked past me. “Goodbye, Zee.”
This was worse because I knew deep in my soul, Derek was done with me.
I WAS LATE JOINING the party. The guard prepared to tackle me was the one who led me to the bathroom so I could cry in peace.
My shoes scuffed the blue tiled floors as I kicked around the pile of tissues I made on the floor.
What am I going to do now? Jonathan didn’t bare his teeth at me, the girl in the costume who came in and blew up his life. Did Derek not confront him? Did he not tell him about me?
The idea that he went against his parents’ stringent rules for privacy and threw this party so I could meet him was hard for me to take in. It’s exactly what the secretly kind-hearted Derek would do, but the boy who spoke to me tonight was not him.
“He can’t be done with me,” I whispered into the chilly room. “He’s my brother. My family. He can’t leave me too.”
A knock sounded on the door, jerking me upright.
“Zee? Are you in there?”
“Yes,” I croaked.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, Landon.” I got up and hurriedly tossed the tissues in the wastebasket. “I’ll be out in a minute. You can go back to the party.”
I washed my hands and splashed cold water on my face. I came out and wasn’t surprised to find Landon on the other side.
“They’re about to serve dinner.” He took my hand and kissed it, pushing back against my dark mood. “Sure you’re okay?”
I nodded. “I am.” I looked across the hall to the sitting room where everyone gathered. The lone white suit was stark in the sea of blacks, reds, pinks, and grays. “I just need to talk to Derek.”
