by Ruby Vincent
Cole looked away. “That’s not a good idea.”
“Why not?”
“Summer is over, Zee.”
“It doesn’t mean we have to be.”
His jaw clenched. Saying this was hard for him. He avoided this—avoided me—so he wouldn’t have to.
“Michael likes you.”
“So do you.”
“I never said that.”
“You didn’t have to.”
He gripped my arm and made me stop. We stood in the middle of the hallway, the only two people who existed in a sea of noise.
“Don’t make this difficult.” Cole’s struggle reflected in the eyes. The part of him that always gave him away no matter how tough or cruel he acted.
“I am going to make this difficult,” I said with a smile. “You want me to end this. Michael has always chosen you, and you want to do the same, but I won’t make that choice for you. If you want to end this with me, Cole, then do it now. Tell me you don’t want to be with me again. Don’t want to touch me, kiss me, or tickle me in the shower.”
His breathing picked up with every word I said. “Why are you doing this?” he growled.
I raised my hand and he grabbed my wrist just short of his lips. “Because everything in your life is a challenge to defeat. Why should we be any different?”
A dozen emotions flashed across his face. Cole voiced none of them. Dropping my hand, he stalked off.
“We’ll study after dinner,” I called.
“Fuck you!”
Chuckling, I continued on to the cafeteria. My laughter dried up when I turned the corner and discovered Landon waiting for me. He pushed himself off the wall.
“Hey. About that lunch date...”
I held out my hand. “Let’s go.”
We didn’t speak on the walk back to his dorm. Everything that came to mind was wholly inadequate. Landon was first. My first crush. First kiss. First to claim my heart. Now I wanted him to make room for someone else.
I pulled him over to the couch and took a seat. He didn’t sit next to me. Landon moved over to the window.
His back was to me as he said, “So you and Michael are a thing now.”
“No, but we are going on our first date this week.”
Landon made no move. “I hope you guys have fun.”
“Landon...”
“Really, Zee. We’re not exclusive. You can date who you want.”
I rose and encircled him from behind. My heart hammered in my chest and I pulled him closer, wanting him to feel it. “Will you sit with me, please?”
“If that’s what you want. I’ll do whatever you want, Zela.” He slumped over, body giving in, and me the only thing holding him up. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” I turned him around and cupped his face, feeling the tempting prickle of his stubble against my palm. “I could be with a hundred other guys and I’ll still love you so much it makes my heart burst.”
“Yeah?”
I rose on tiptoe and kissed him until our lungs cried out for air.
“Yes.”
Landon gripped my thighs and lifted me up. He carried me to the couch and sat us down, me in his lap.
“You’re not planning on being with a hundred guys, right?”
“Definitely not,” I said with a laugh.
“Tell me what you do want.”
“I can’t.” I buried my face in his neck. “It’s awful and selfish and I hate myself for even thinking I have a right to ask.”
Landon was gentle as he took off my wig and cap. His fingers were soothing running through my hair. “Tell me anyway.”
“I want you to be with me... only me.” I squeezed my eyes shut. “I kept picturing you in Europe with another guy or girl and it drove me crazy, and I know that’s not fair because I was here with someone else.”
His hand stilled. “Someone else? But Michael was in Europe too.”
“I was with Cole,” I whispered.
“Oh.”
That was it. Oh. I waited for Landon to say something, but as the silence grew, I pulled back. He didn’t appear angry or disgusted with me. Honestly, I hadn’t seen this expression on his face before.
“Are you mad?” I asked. “I should have told you sooner—”
“Zela, there was another girl.”
I stiffened. “What are you talking about?”
“In Europe,” he explained. “She was one of Dad’s models. We were both trapped in the hotel, bored with nothing to do, so— Baby, are you okay?”
It was a fair question. My hold on his collar was getting pretty tight. “Did you sleep with her?” I rasped.
“No,” Landon said clearly. “We kissed and she wanted to take it further, but I couldn’t do it. All I could think about was you and the way you stroke my jaw while we kiss and make those soft breathy moans that I swallow like candy.”
Heat flooded my cheeks. My stranglehold eased as he wrapped his arms around me. “You don’t have to ask, Zee. I’m yours, and only yours, for as long as you’ll have me.”
“I plan on having you for a long time, Landon Foster.” I kissed his cheek, then his nose, and jaw, and every inch of him I could reach. “And there won’t be one hundred guys. Just one. Maybe two.”
“Can I ask you something?” Landon tipped his head back. “Just once and I’ll never ask again.”
“What is it?”
“Why Michael and Cole?” he asked softly. “Why can’t it just be me?”
“Look at me,” I whispered.
He did.
“It’s not because you’re not enough,” I began. “It’s me, Landon. A time ago, I was broken and there’re parts of me that are gone or will never fit quite right.”
“That isn’t true.” He pushed the hair from my face, tangling a strand around his finger. “You’re perfect.”
I smiled. “I love that you think that. You don’t see the girl who goes to a therapist every two weeks and is so taken over by her past, she doesn’t know what’s real most days. I never thought I could be the person I am when I’m with you. Being loved by you has given me a piece of myself back.
“And even though it’s new and complicated...” I thought of Michael and me safe on the Hogwarts Express, shielded from the world. “I believe Michael has another piece.”
“And Cole?”
I nodded.
Landon took a deep breath and held it. I was quiet as he came to terms with our future.
“Okay,” he said, “but I have a condition.”
Sitting up straighter, I steeled myself. “I understand. Do you not want me to talk to you about them or see us in public?”
He frowned. “What? No. I don’t want you to hide anything from me. Ever. But there is one thing I do want and I’m not moving on this.”
“Tell me.”
Landon looked me in the eyes. “I’m going to be your first.”
I couldn’t help it, I laughed. “Landon, are you for real? That’s your condition.”
“Henrietta and Declan ruined it for us. I’m not letting Michael or Cole get there first.”
Shaking my head, I straddled him and pushed him back into the cushions. “I accept your condition.”
His grin made me shiver. “We can take care of it right now. Just to be safe.”
“There are ten minutes left for lunch.”
“Hmm.”
I yelped as he shot off the couch and raced us toward the bed.
“We’ll just have to think of another way to spend our time,” he said.
FRIDAY MORNING, I’M a bundle of nerves. I snuck glances at Michael all through breakfast which weren’t very sneaky because Cole got up halfway through and made up some nonsense about needing to study.
Things had been weird between me and Cole to say the least. We studied for the review test together, but didn’t do more even though we both looked at the bed multiple times. We hadn’t been alone together since.
“What’s up with you and Derek?”
I tore my eyes off Michael. Tanner jerked his head at Derek’s new table.
“You got into it on Monday and now he doesn’t sit here. You not friends anymore?”
“We are. There’s nothing going on with us, but you know how Derek can be.”
He blew out a breath. “For real.”
I was thankful Tanner accepted that easily. I didn’t want to touch the situation with Derek at all, not even to make up a convincing lie.
He seems to be his old self though.
Derek lapped up the attention from the junior girl who snubbed me at the party.
It irritated the hell out of me.
He has me in stomach-twisting knots over getting him to let go of his feelings and be my brother, and this guy was licking cream off some mean chick’s fingers and laughing at her no doubt terrible jokes. He didn’t look like he was in love with anyone but himself.
A weight settled on my shoulder.
“We staring at Derek again?” Adam asked.
“No.” I pointedly looked away, knocking off Adam’s chin. “We’re not. There is something else I need to do. You ready?”
“Yep. You take that side and I’ll take this side.”
I glanced at Cameron’s table as I got up. I promised him a fight and that’s what he was going to get.
I started with my old friend Noah first.
“Hey, Noah.”
He looked up from the girl he was nuzzling and that heart-melting smile lit up his face. It was good to see they were still together. Noah did literally go to battle for her. “Zeke! Hey, man. What’s going on?”
“Nothing much. I just wanted to let you know that if you ever need help preparing for a battle again, I’d be happy to do it.”
“Seriously?”
I returned his smile with a big one of my own. “Yep. I may be Elite now but I’m not going to forget my friends.”
“Damn, thank you. I’m going to take you up on that real soon.”
Laughing, I said goodbye and moved on to a table of Ds. I gave them the same message. The Battle Doctor was back in business.
Adam made the rounds to the Fs while I spoke to the Ds and Cs. At one point, I caught Cameron watching me but I slid off him and kept talking like nothing happened.
Adam and I met up outside of the cafeteria and went up to class together.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” His question was so soft his lips barely moved. “Cameron got in your face after the tournament. He’ll hit back if he finds out what you’re doing.”
My eyes bugged. Jordan? She told him even though she promised— No, wait.
It hit me that Adam must have been talking about our public showdown on the basketball court.
“The beauty of this plan,” I replied, “is Cameron won’t know what I’m doing until it’s too late.”
Adam dropped it. By now, he trusted me.
He changed the topic. “Do you know what clubs you’re going to join?”
“Archimedean Club is a given. Future Leaders was also a lot more fun than I thought it would be. Those, plus whatever else Cole signs up for because it’ll piss him off and make it impossible to avoid me.”
“You guys are brewing up one weird-ass love story,” he muttered.
“Says the guy in love with two women at once.”
“Touché.”
We topped the sixth-floor landing and Adam stepped forward to hold the door for me. Stepping inside brought on the unfamiliar feel I thought would never pass.
Life as an Elite was the same as being in the F Class in exactly one way. Mrs. Peterson taught us all subjects and assigned what she knew was a ridiculous amount of homework. That is where the similarities ended. The way they treated students on the sixth floor was night and day.
Peterson handed out the MT tablets half the school walked out over and basically told us they were ours to do with as we pleased. Also, if we lost or broke our tablet, the school would have it replaced free of charge.
It didn’t end with the perks. With our small class size, the coaches were able to give us individual attention. Instead of endless practice games where Coach Singh bellowed from the sidelines, he’d have us come up one by one and talk through form, technique, and lead us through drills to put his critique into action.
There was nowhere I couldn’t go. No passes. No battles. No asking for permission. I strolled in and out of the library as I pleased. I had my pick of clubs and volunteer opportunities. Next weekend there was a movie night for weekenders and Peterson put me down before I asked.
It’s an entirely different life for those on the sixth floor, I thought as I looked around.
A hard shove from behind sent me flying. I tripped over my heel and Adam caught me before I hit the floor. We whipped around on Lars Johansson, Wyatt Wharton, Jose Dimas, and Sullivan.
“Oops,” said Jose.
Sullivan’s smile was nasty. “How did you become Elite when you can’t even manage walking?”
Adam lunged at him and I hopped in his path.
“You realize you’re insulting Zach more than me,” I shot back as I struggled to hold my best friend back. “He’s the one who lost to someone who can’t manage walking.”
“Fuck you.”
I laughed. “I hear that daily from someone a lot tougher, and cuter, than you. You’re not going to get to me, Sully, so give it a rest.”
I turned my back on my new classmates and dragged a steaming Adam away.
“Don’t give those guys the satisfaction of landing you in detention,” I told him.
Adam shot them a filthy look as he protectively put his arm around me. “I’m not letting them hurt you again either. I’m serious, Zee. If Sully touches you again and I’m getting detention for the rest of the year.”
I should have argued him down but part of me was grateful to have him watching my back. One awful day in the locker room showed me Sully wasn’t above violence.
Adam walked me to my seat, kissed my cheek, and then went to his desk. Derek watched the whole exchange.
“What’s going on with you and him?” he asked as I unpacked my bag.
“Why does everyone ask that?” I muttered. “We’re friends.”
“Good.”
I lifted my head, narrowing my eyes on him. “Why is that good?”
“No reason.”
My anxiety heightened, but Derek was the picture of innocence looking back at me.
“Do you miss me yet?”
“How can I miss you?” I snapped. “You’re behind me every day.”
Derek grinned. He didn’t look so innocent now. “Kinda seems like you miss me from the way you stare at me across the cafeteria.”
I ignored that. “I have a question. Have you accepted the truth?”
“Yes,” he replied without hesitation.
“I’m not talking about your version of the truth.” I sat and scooted closer to his desk. “I want things to go back to the way it was, Derek. You have to let it.”
He just smiled. “I’m not the one in our way.”
“I—”
“Attention, class,” Mrs. Peterson cut in. “Eyes front.”
I reluctantly turned away from him. I should have known he wouldn’t make this easy. Derek never made anything easy, but this was a situation most members of the human race did not have to deal with.
I spent most of the day with my eyes on the clock. I’d never wanted it to be the weekend more than I did that day. I had to get out of this place.
Eight hours later, the final bell rang and I beat it out of class with a hasty bye to Adam. My things were already in my backpack, so I skipped the stop at my dorm and went straight outside. The cool September breeze washed over me as I trekked across the lawn. I was the first one out here, but soon the grounds would be filled with people tossing the ball around, spread out on blankets, bunking in for a weekend of whatever treats their class would allow.
I preferred Breakbattle like this. Quiet, empty, peacef
ul. It was easy to pretend we were a normal school when students weren’t out here in groups separated by the letters on their chests. As and Elites on one side. Fs on the other. Everyone else in between.
Mom honked the car to signal me. I climbed inside and leaned over to kiss her cheek.
“Hello, my only one,” she said. She must have been in a good mood. “How was your first week in your proper classes?”
“Great, Mom. Mrs. Peterson gives me extra assignments from some of her advanced math classes.” My excitement bubbled out of me. I couldn’t help it. I loved math that much. “She also mentioned that she has colleagues from Somerset U who’d be happy to let me shadow them. Could I do it, Mom? I’d miss a day of school, but they would count it as special credit. Mom, please.”
She laughed. “Of course, Zela. I don’t see why not.”
Smiling, I leaned back in my seat and shifted to watch the academy grounds fall away and be replaced by the thick, dense trees that blanketed our town.
“Mom, can I ask you something?”
“Yes?”
“What was it like at Somerset U? Do you miss it?”
“Oh, dear. Do I miss it?” She fell silent, considering her answer. “I guess miss staying up late roaming the campus with my friends. I miss the debates over my favorite literature, eating my lunch in the quad, and feeling like I had my whole future in front of me. I miss being young.” She stroked my hair. “Why do you ask?”
“No reason. We just... have to think about which colleges we’ll apply to soon.”
She tugged my ear. “Somerset would be a fine school for you, Zela, but don’t limit yourself. You could easily get into the Ivy League.” Suddenly, we veered off conversational and returned to the business of molding my life on the right course. “This weekend we’ll sit down, research universities, and go over your options.”
“Okay.” There was no point fighting Mom. She’d do that research with or without me and I wouldn’t be surprised if she filled out the applications herself. “Not tonight though,” I spoke up. “I have a date.”
“Ah yes. With this Landon fellow? Why haven’t I met him?”
“You will meet him.”
Very, very far in the future. Preferably after we’re married with five kids and I know he won’t run away.
“But I’m not going out with him tonight,” I continued. “I have a date with another guy, Michael.”
